by Lynn Mann
‘It’s helping, she’s lifting and it’s helping her chest!’ I yelled. But then she toppled forward. Her chest closed down again and the hope that had begun to build inside her was compressed to nothing. A flare of panic broke briefly through the heavy nothingness and then winked out.
‘STOP!’ yelled Justin. I released the grip of my legs on Infinity’s sides as she stumbled and then scrambled with her front legs before regaining her feet. Justin stood with his arms held out in front of him, apparently ready to try and catch me if I were thrown.
I hurled more of my awareness into Infinity’s body, desperately. Oak and Gas had beaten me to it. Her chest cavity was relaxing as their unwavering love and support worked to ease the effect my weight was having on her. Her muted feeling of excitement was becoming stronger.
I slid off Infinity rather than burden her with my weight any longer and felt the acute awareness I had had of her body recede.
Rowena came over and we stood discussing how I could help Infinity to move her weight back off of her front legs as she lifted, rather than leave her wobbling and in danger of falling forward again.
I would like a bridle such as I wore before, interrupted Infinity.
‘Hang on, Infinity’s asking for something,’ I told my friends. What do you mean?
I would like a bridle with a bit in my mouth. With you holding the reins I would have some support. Something to lean on if I need to whilst we experiment.
I don’t know what any of those things are.
Yes you do.
She transported us both back to the life in which she had been my cavalry horse. She showed me the leather straps that had buckled together to make her bridle, the metal bit that had sat in her mouth and the reins that had provided connection from the bit to the rider’s hands. My hands.
‘She wants a bridle,’ I told Rowena and Justin.
‘A what?’ asked Rowena
I explained what it was and why Infinity wanted one, and Justin nodded slowly. ‘Makes sense I guess, she’ll have more confidence to try things if she knows you can help her stay upright if one of you gets it wrong.’ I felt thoughts fly to him from Gas and he said, ‘Gas wants to try one too. He’s also impatient for me to get on and try what you just did with Infinity.’ Gas was throwing his head around and fidgeting.
We watched first Justin and then Rowena try helping their horses to lift by squeezing with their legs. Gas lifted a small amount and then wasn’t sure how to move with his body once it felt different from normal, and subsequently ground to a halt. ‘Great, just like old times,’ said Justin. Oak managed to lift himself a little more and the smile on Rowena’s face told how they both felt about it.
Before we knew it, the lunch bell rang out, just loud enough for us to hear over the noise of the rain. We rugged our horses and took them to their respective paddocks, where they all made straight for their large, stone shelters. We ran on with our saddles, depositing them in the tack room before making the quick dash across the square to the dining room.
If I’d thought my entrance that morning had caused a stir, it was nothing compared with the reaction to the three of us arriving together. The hum of voices stilled to little more than a whisper as people sitting and eating marked our entrance. Those up at the food table turned around to see why everyone else had gone quiet.
Justin said, ‘come on you two,’ under his breath and made for the food table.
Rowena remained where she was and said loudly, ‘problem, is there?’
‘Ro, leave it,’ Justin said and beckoned her to follow us with a jerk of his head.
She ignored him and said, ‘if anyone has a problem with me or my friends, let’s hear it. No whispering, no nudging, no significant looks behind our backs once we’ve walked past, let’s have it out in the open.’ Her dark eyes flashed.
‘Uh oh,’ Justin breathed to me.
Part of me wanted to run and hide somewhere but the other part was fascinated by Rowena’s confidence, her willingness to confront a whole room full of people. I felt Oak communicating with her and saw her shoulders drop down and relax from the fighting stance she had adopted, but she remained where she was. No one said a word and those at the tables nearest to her were suddenly very interested in their lunch.
‘So, no one has the balls to come out and say it. You’ve all listened to Feryl back-biting about how Amarilla and Infinity don’t want him to teach them, and you’ve had your minds made up for you that it’s them with the problem, and presumably me and Justin for wanting to help them. You’re no better than sheep, the lot of you,’ Rowena railed.
The door opened behind her and Feryl walked in, wiping the rain from his eyes, with Adam just behind him.
Feryl’s eyes narrowed. ‘Back-biting? How dare you! I am the Master of Riding and if I have an opinion on the way a horse should be ridden then that is what it is, an opinion, and it is my duty to be honest and say what I think.’
‘And what about what the horses think, Feryl, or doesn’t that matter to you anymore? Amarilla is sixteen years old and as mild as they come, does she look like the type of person who would rebel against anything or anyone without good reason?’
All heads turned towards me and I shrank closer to Justin, but the focus on me was short-lived as Rowena continued, ‘and as for Justin and me, our horses both want more out of how we ride them, much, much more and yet you’ve always refused to listen to either them or us, so now we are all working together, doing WHAT OUR HORSES WANT and if you, or any of the rest of you have a problem with that, then you don’t deserve to call yourselves Horse-Bonded!’
The room was silent. Feryl looked at Rowena with fury in his eyes. ‘You and I will discuss this another time, in private, where you won’t have so many people to try and impress,’ he spat venomously.
Rowena opened her mouth to retaliate but Adam stepped lithely between them and said in a calm voice, ‘well that seems to have settled that. Feryl, Liberal’s prescription is ready any time you want to collect it, no hurry though, just when you’re ready, now Rowena, Prista was telling me earlier about this idea you’ve had for waterproof saddle covers, won’t you come and tell me about it over lunch?’
Rowena was drawn to walk with him. ‘I know what you’re doing Adam,’ she said, ‘so don’t try and convince me that you have even the remotest interest in saddle covers. Feryl had that coming, they all did. There were things that needed to be said.’
‘I don’t dispute what you say and I think we can all firmly agree that everything is now well and truly out in the open. I tend to find that that’s usually a good time to leave things to settle without adding any more fuel to the bonfire,’ replied Adam cheerfully.
Thoughts flooded to Rowena from Oak and she slowly nodded her agreement. We all helped ourselves to food and sat down at a table together. I wasn’t that hungry as my heartburn was worse than ever. I sipped at some more water.
Shann plopped himself down next to me, shaking his head so that water flew out of his hair and landed on me, Adam and the table. ‘Good morning everyone?’ he asked and began to shovel jacket potato with cheese into his mouth, ‘wha’ve I missed?’
Rowena and I spent a companionable afternoon sitting at one of the long, wooden workbenches in the kitchen, peeling and chopping vegetables for the evening meal. We discussed what we had learnt from the morning’s session with the horses and what we thought the next step should be. We finally agreed that I would go and speak to Mason about making bridles for our three horses and Rowena would approach Newson, a Metal-Singer, about making the bits for us. I quickly drew a picture of the bit that Infinity had been wearing in the vision she showed me, so that Rowena could take it with her.
There were twenty or so other people, most of whom I didn’t know, working in the kitchen with us under Turi, the head cook. They all chatted and laughed together but largely ignored Rowena and me, apart from Holly. She approached us during our break and said, ‘I just wanted you both to know that while I like
and respect Feryl, I understand that you are guided by your horses and I wish you well.’
I thanked her, glad that maybe her words were an indication that not everyone was against what my friends and I were doing.
They are not against what we do. They are frightened of it, Infinity informed me.
Frightened? Why?
They fear what it means for them.
But why?
They will have to accept that what they have been doing is not as good as they thought. Their idea of themselves and what they think they have achieved with their horses is threatened.
But surely if someone can show them a way to ride that helps their horses more, they would be pleased? I mean we all want to do the best for our horses?
Walks A Straight Path you yet live up to your name. We have discussed the need most humans have to feel special. Humans who are chosen by us are not immune from that temptation. The Horse-Bonded are revered by your fellow humans. To a greater or lesser extent this gives them an idea of themselves that they are somehow significant. Important. They allow their bond with their horse to define them. Imagine how they feel when by your actions you tell them that their relationship with their horse is not all that they thought it was.
But how am I telling them that? I asked.
By revealing that your horse is illustrating the flaws in how people currently ride their horses. They wonder why their own horses have not done this. They ask themselves if maybe their link with their own horses is less strong than the one you and I share. They ponder whether they are less worthy of being given information than you. In questioning the bond they have with their horses they are forced to question the whole idea they have of themselves and their lives. They find this frightening.
Why haven’t their horses questioned how they are ridden? Oak and Gas both did.
Horses choose to help their people for many different reasons. One horse may choose to help a person with a small change such as being able to balance evenly on both feet so that they are more even in temperament as a result. Another horse may choose to work with a person who has the ability to make huge changes to the human race. All changes a human makes are of equal importance to the human race however large or small they may seem because you are all connected. But even a small change can be an extreme challenge for a human. Until now there have been no humans with the mental and physical capacity necessary to help their horse make a change such as that which we attempt. The horses have always accepted this and been content to offer their aid regardless.
Do you mean that what you and I are doing when we’re working on helping you to balance better, that’s to do with our agreement? To do with us helping horses and humans to evolve further?
Infinity didn’t reply and I remembered that she’d already hinted that this was the case.
‘You’ve gone very quiet, everything okay?’ said Rowena.
I nodded. ‘Infinity’s just given me a whole load to chew on and I just need to ask her something else.’ Fin why did you tell me how the others are feeling? Isn’t that meant to be kept private? Everyone having the right to work through their restrictions in their own way and all that?
I gave no specific information about any individual. I have revealed nothing inappropriate, came Infinity’s haughty reply. I sensed her grooming Oak’s neck more fiercely, earning her a sharp nip in return. I grinned and told Rowena everything Infinity had told me.
‘So, no pressure then,’ Rowena said with raised eyebrows, ‘we’re only working on changing the world!’
Sixteen
Support
I asked Mason over dinner if he would make bridles for Infinity, Oak and Gas. He was only too happy to help, so we arranged that I would take Infinity to him to have her head measured after our riding session the following lunchtime. I spent the evening making drawings of all of the various components of the bridle just as Infinity had shown them to me, since Mason, like the rest of us, had never heard of a bridle before.
I had just sat down to breakfast the following morning when Mason’s voice sounded in my ear. ‘Close your eyes and hold out your hands.’ I obliged and what felt like a leather strap was placed across my palms. ‘And… open them.’
It was indeed a leather strap — it was the head piece of Infinity’s new bridle and stitched into it were infinity symbols linked into a chain. I lifted the bridle up so I could see the rest of it. The black browband and noseband gleamed with their recent conditioning, and stitched into the middle of the brow band was yet another infinity symbol. The reins hung separately from the bridle, with no bit to attach to as yet.
‘How did you… I mean, when did you?’ I said.
He chuckled and his big belly lurched up and down. ‘Been up all night, since you ask. No, don’t you apologise Amarilla, I was all for startin’ it today like we said, but my Diligence wouldn’t hear of it. All of a buzz she is with what you’re doin’, you, Rowena, Justin and your horses, wouldn’t let me sleep she wouldn’t, kept on at me that the sooner your horses have their bridles the sooner, well actually she wouldn’t say what would happen, just kept on and on until I knew she wasn’t goin’ to let me rest. So, I took a lantern, got my measurin’ tape and went down to the paddocks to do some measurin’ and get some bridles made.’ He chuckled again. ‘Your Infinity wasn’t too sure about it to begin with, messin’ around in the dark and all, but once Oak stood quietly for his measurements to be taken, she decided she’d allow it.’
I smiled. ‘But how did you know what to make? You haven’t seen my drawings yet.’
‘It seems that your mare isn’t the only one who knows what a bridle looks like. Dili led me through it step by step.’
‘Mason this is beautiful, I don’t know what to say,’ I said.
‘Say you’ll go and show Dili the result of her night’s mitherin’ so she’ll give me some peace. I need to sleep,’ he replied. ‘Ah Justin, there you are.’ He handed Justin a brown bridle and reins. ‘Here you go, I must say Gas was much more cooperative about being measured than I thought he would be, Spider was a pain in the jacksy though, all over me he was, kept tryin’ to push his head in front of mine so I couldn’t see the tape and it was difficult enough as it was, bein’ dark. Anyway,’ he thrust a second, much larger black bridle in Justin’s direction, ‘give this to Ro when you see her, will you? I’m goin’ to bed.’ He gave a huge yawn and shuffled off towards the door.
‘What’s this all about?’ asked Justin.
‘Sit down for a minute,’ I said quietly, aware that most people sitting nearby were now listening avidly to our conversation and many more were sneaking looks at the contents of Justin’s and my hands. He nodded and took the chair next to mine. I told him what Diligence and Mason had done for us and he examined his bridle. It was larger than mine and gleamed a deep chestnut brown. There were the tiniest stitches of the thinnest silver thread stitched into the top of the headpiece, so tiny and numerous that one had the impression of something finer than the finest of mists. It was a beautiful piece of workmanship. Shaking his head in wonderment, Justin put it on the table and held up Rowena’s bridle. The Oak tree stitched into the headpiece matched the one on the back of the cantle of Rowena’s saddle, and stitched into the brow band was a single oak leaf. It was difficult to conceive of a man with hands and fingers the size of Mason’s performing such intricate work.
‘These are fantastic, no wonder Gas is so full of himself this morning, he couldn’t contain himself long enough to tell me what had got into him but now it all makes sense. When is Newson due to measure them for their bits?’ Justin said.
‘After breakfast, that’s if he hasn’t been up all night as well. Morning Ro, I could hear you splashing around in the bath, sorry I didn’t wait for you but I needed more tea,’ I told an approaching Rowena.
‘Heartburn still playing you up?’ she asked. I nodded and gave Rowena her bridle, explaining once more about Mason’s sleepless night.
‘Poor Mason. It’s nice to
know Dili’s on board with what we’re doing though,’ Rowena said as she inspected her bridle. ‘This is amazing. Right, we need to get a move on. We’ll go and see to clearing the dung from Dili’s paddock to save Mason doing it later and I’ll go and look at the rota and see what chores he’s down for, we’ll do them for him today as well.’
It was decided that I would meet Newson and go with him while he measured all three horses’ mouths for their bits, since Infinity was likely to be the one most likely to refuse to cooperate in the absence of her bonded human. Rowena would clear Dili’s paddock and field shelter and Justin would take on Mason’s share of log splitting for the day.
Newson was waiting for me at the gate to Infinity’s paddock, a chilly wind buffeting him as he stood wrapped in his cloak. I greeted him and explained why I was alone.
‘So, Diligence is with you all on this. Interesting,’ he said. ‘I have to admit to you Amarilla, I’m not sure about what you’re doing here — going against Feryl’s experience and knowledge, putting harness on your horse’s head in order to ride her, a piece of metal in her mouth, flaming lanterns, I’m just not sure about it, but Integrity says I must keep an open mind and so that is what I will do.’
‘Do you think I want to use a bridle when I ride Infinity for my sake? For something to hang on to because I can’t really ride?’
‘That isn’t the reason?’
I explained the problems Infinity was having carrying me and why she had requested that I ride her in a bridle, and Newson listened attentively, sucking in his cheeks so that his thin, pock-marked face appeared even thinner. ‘And you told all of this to Feryl?’ he said.
‘Some of it, he wouldn’t really listen to me enough for me to get all of it out. He doesn’t know anything about the bridles.’
‘Well he soon will. We’d better get these mouths measured, hadn’t we?’