Wolf Shield Investigations: Boxset

by Dee Bridgnorth

  “Aimee, you’ve got to get a hold of herself.” Zane stood in front of her, towering over her, filling her world. She wanted to push him away just as much as she wanted to push away the idea of her mother being one of them, one of those people.

  And yet.

  She was no better than them, was she? What did it mean that the thought of her mother being one of them turning her stomach like it did when she herself was involved with them too?

  It was all too much. Too much confusion, too much emotion. Too many implied lies, deliberate lies. She couldn’t bring herself to believe her mother had deliberately lied to her over and over about something so terrible.

  “No. It can’t be true.” She looked to Val, shaking her head hard enough to hurt. “Absolutely not. No.”

  Before she knew it, Zane’s arms were around her, and he was holding her tight. And she was weeping against his chest—not because she couldn’t accept that her mother might have been withholding secrets from her but for all of it. Everything came back all at once, all the pain and loneliness and trauma she’d pushed back for so many years. There was only so long a person could keep that sort of trauma locked inside.

  And when it came out, it came out all at once like a storm, like the hurricane that ripped through their area and brought her and Zane together.

  Val slipped away at some point, leaving the two of them standing in the command center, holding each other.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “How’s she doing?”

  Zane winced at the completely normal question his teammate asked. “Not so good. She’s lying down on the couch in Logan’s office. This doesn’t look like it’s going to turn out with a happy ending,” he fretted. His wolf howled in his head, clearly agreeing.

  Now, he understood what it meant to watch someone he cared for more than he cared for himself go through heartbreak. Even if Lydia Niles hadn’t been part of this shadow group, this organization responsible for so much destruction and death, she’d at least been lying to Aimee her entire life. No way could a woman making a secretary’s salary provide the sort of lifestyle Aimee had described. An apartment in a secure community on the Main Line? Driving a BMW, giving her daughter free rein to order whatever she wanted online?

  It amazed him that Aimee hadn’t put two and two together by then. She was intelligent, fiercely so, but it never occurred to her that things hadn’t been the way they appeared on the surface.

  Then again, who wanted to second-guess their parents? Especially a parent missing and presumed dead? No, she would want to believe the best of her mother, that she’d been nothing more than a hard-working woman who’d wanted to give her daughter a good life.

  “I feel sorry for her,” Sledge admitted. “I feel sorry for anybody who gets the truth dumped on them all at once like this.”

  “So you don’t want her dead anymore?” Zane asked, remembering how murderous Sledge had been.

  “All right,” Sledge muttered. “You don’t need to rub it in my face. You used to feel the same way too. None of this changes the things she did, but at least it’s easier to understand why she did them. Hell, she could’ve done a lot worse, all things considered. Her mother is lucky she was a good kid who didn’t take advantage of the situation.”

  “That’s true,” Zane mused, staring off into the middle distance. “Yeah, she knew Aimee was a good kid. She could be trusted. She followed the rules.”

  Sledge didn’t say anything for a while, absorbing this. “You agreed with Val, don’t you?”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “Don’t give me that. Don’t act like I’m Aimee. I know you too well. I know how your mind works—I’m sorry to say it works a lot like mine sometimes. You think her mother did have something to do with this, don’t you? That maybe she was part of them?”

  “She didn’t necessarily have to be part of this group specifically,” Zane allowed, cringing a little. If she heard them talking like this, it would drive her crazy—and she might never forgive him either. “But yeah, she might’ve known somebody who knew somebody. She might’ve asked them to watch over her daughter. Maybe there was a reason she had to disappear. Maybe she did find out too much; maybe somebody was after her. I was just talking with Aimee last night about keeping my family out of my life not because I hate them but because I want to protect them. Maybe that’s what this was all about from the beginning. She could’ve been trying to protect her daughter from whoever was after her.”

  “But she wouldn’t want to disappear from her life completely,” Sledge mused.

  “Right. She got somebody else to keep an eye on her. Whoever set her up with these people, whoever recruited her, they were probably watching her all along and maybe reporting back to Lydia.”

  “I hardly think this was the sort of thing her mother would’ve wanted her to do,” Sledge pointed out.

  “Well, sure. Maybe there was only so much she could control.” He rubbed his temple ahead of the headache coming on. “I’m going to be so glad when this is over.”

  “How do you think this all ends?”

  It was a serious question that required serious thought. Sure, what he wanted more than anything was to fire off an empty assurance. Everything would be fine; they would come out of it in one piece. One day, they would all be free to live their lives however they wanted, no longer needing to hide from some shadowy presence which hung over all their lives.

  It was a pretty picture, but it was a fairytale. There was little basis in reality.

  “I really don’t know,” he admitted with a sigh. “I wish I did.”

  “All I want to do is take Marnie far away from all this,” Sledge admitted. It was rare for any of them to speak so personally, to admit what was in their hearts. They were usually too busy focused on staying alive and keeping their clients alive.

  But there was more to it than that. They’d started finding their mates, no longer so closed off, and now their lives were complicated. It was so much simpler when there was nobody but them and their clients.

  And their secrets. Always secrets.

  “Maybe someday you’ll be able to do that,” Zane offered. It was an empty offer since there was no way of knowing whether or not that would ever be possible. Sometimes people just needed to believe what they needed to believe.

  And it certainly wouldn’t have caused any pain if he’d been able to do the same thing with Aimee. Hadn’t he just been thinking along those lines earlier, after all?

  “Well, everything’s quiet here,” Sledge reported. “Almost too quiet. I’m waiting for something to happen, a bomb to go off or something.”

  “I wonder if this hacker is the key. Maybe they were the key all along. If we could get them on our side, they might have what it takes to get us into whatever network these people are using. They might be able to help us find them.”

  “Who’s to say they’re not on our side already?”

  “Wouldn’t they have reached out, don’t you think?”

  “Maybe they already have. Maybe this is their way of opening communication lines—an olive branch extended our way, so we know they’re with us and not against us.”

  “If that’s the case, they could’ve been a little clearer about it. Maybe send a message or something. Hey, I’m your friend. We’re all in this together.”

  Sledge laughed. “Yeah, because that’s the way any of this works. If anything was ever that simple, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

  Zane let his thoughts wander once he was off the call. Aimee was still resting away from him, giving him a minute to himself with his thoughts.

  With the wolf.

  The wolf’s instincts were never wrong, and it was obvious that the wolf agreed with Val. Aimee’s mother had been involved in something dangerous, something she’d wanted to keep Aimee away from. And maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t an entirely good person.

  Then again, that would mean Aimee wasn’t a good person.

  Where was
the line? Where was the distinction? It probably wasn’t fair to Lydia to judge her when she wasn’t there to defend herself. Whatever she’d done, whatever she’d been involved with, there was a good chance she’d stumbled into it without knowing what she was getting herself into.

  And there was a chance she hadn’t figured things out until it was too late to do anything about it.

  And that could have been the reason she disappeared too—to get away from whatever it was she’d become involved with. Everybody had a breaking point. She could very well have reached hers but might have known there was no getting away once she was in too deep.

  Just like Aimee. The only way out for her would’ve been her own assassination, the way the others were killed.

  If that was the case, Lydia would’ve been faced with an unthinkable decision: to abandon her daughter in order to save her own life or to risk both their deaths. Running away, disappearing, leaving her old life behind? That was the sort of thing a mother did to protect her child. Aimee’s life might have been in danger just as much as her own.

  In fact, he would’ve bet it was.

  The poor kid had never known the danger lurking just around the corner.

  The door to Logan’s office opened, and Aimee wandered out looking sheepish. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, running her hands through her hair to tame it after lying down.

  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he assured her. “You needed to lie down. It happens.”

  “But I lost it back there. That’s inexcusable.”

  He snickered in disbelief. “Who told you that? It makes you human. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all have a breaking point, and you reached yours. Hell, you could’ve reached it ages ago, but you were strong enough to hold on.”

  He got up, going to her. He needed to touch her, to reassure her, to soothe both of them. She fit so perfectly in his arms, against his chest, and there was nothing so gratifying in the world as when she wrapped her arms around him too and settled into his embrace.

  “I would protect you from the whole world if I could,” he whispered close to her ear. “I’d never let you go.”

  “And I wouldn’t let you,” she admitted in a whisper. That whisper said so much more than what was on the surface. He closed his eyes, both hating the feeling of exhilaration knowing she wanted him like he wanted her and reveling it.

  Now, with part of his consciousness belonging to the wolf, he was still too human, too easily knocked over by a sudden rush of emotion, too easily excited by the look in a pair of green eyes as they stared into his. He was still too fragile in that part of his soul she managed to touch. It terrified him; it enthralled him.

  How long did they stand there, staring at each other, wrapped in each other’s arms? It could’ve been seconds. It could’ve been hours. He only knew there was nothing else in the world but her and that brief, shining time. It was a gift. She was a gift.

  A gift that still didn’t know the truth about him.

  A shadow fell over his bright, shining happiness. It wasn’t fair of him, letting her fall deeper when she didn’t know all there was to know.

  “What is it?” she whispered, noticing the way he changed. He didn’t pull away physically but mentally? He was now a million miles away.

  “Nothing—I mean, not nothing,” he corrected himself. It was reflex, immediately lying, trying to cover up what went on inside him. He couldn’t keep this other part of himself away from her forever—and what was more, he wanted to share. He wanted her to know. It was so heavy, the weight of keeping this secret.

  Just like sharing his feelings with Logan had helped ease his strain, sharing with her would probably do the same. No wonder he craved it then. He craved the relief of someone knowing him completely, all of him. Was this how everyone else felt when they’d found their mates? That they were finally whole like they’d found what they never knew was missing until they set eyes upon that special person?

  She was still waiting for an answer, frowning up at him. “How about I tell you once we get back to the house?” he ventured, his heart in his throat. Granted, she would probably lose her mind when he first told her, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate being out in the middle of nowhere when he did—she might want to leave, want to find someone to help her with the maniac who’d just confessed he was part wolf.

  What if that happened? Could he trust her?

  He had to. He had to at least try.

  Even so, he wanted to make things as easy for her as possible. He wanted her to feel at least somewhat secure once he dropped yet another bomb.

  “I have an idea.” He tried to smile to seem lighthearted. “Why don’t we go to your apartment? I can keep watch outside. You can get whatever you need from there—your wallet, all that stuff.”

  She smiled, though she was obviously confused. “What brought that on?”

  “You were talking about it earlier. I don’t want you to feel completely cut off. I figured since we’re already on the road—and on the motorcycle, so we won’t be easily traced—this might be the perfect chance.”

  She relaxed, the tension leaving her arms, her shoulders, the muscles of her face. Her smile widened, became more genuine. “That would be nice.”

  And after that, the chips would have to fall where they fell. He couldn’t control how she would react. He could only hope she wouldn’t shut him out when she learned what they’d done to him.

  Chapter Thirty

  Aimee had to get herself a motorcycle.

  There was nothing like it, the feeling of freedom, nothing between her and the open air. Sure, the ever-present rumbling between her legs was pretty nice, too, but that wasn’t what sold her on the experience.

  She hadn’t felt free for as long as she could remember. Maybe not for her entire life.

  And he understood that.

  She looked up at his neck, his shoulders and back. He was a marvel, and she had her arms around him—around this massive, challenging man. More than anything, she wanted to lean into him, to rest her cheek against that firm muscle and let him take her wherever he wanted to.

  Was this really her? Never, not once in her life, had she known a feeling like this. It was more than lust, though there was plenty of that. This was deeper, real. She would’ve gone to the ends of the earth with him if that was what he wanted.

  Why?

  She forced herself to think about this, to figure it out. Why would she have gone anywhere with him? It was important not to let herself fall too far without knowing why she was falling.

  Was it just because he happened to be in the right place at the right time? When she was at her most vulnerable? There was definitely something to be said for trauma bringing people together, forging connections at warp speed.

  It was like that when she was serving. Brothers and sisters in arms forged those tight connections because they were all going through the same thing. They were all far from home and too often uncertain what the next day would bring, so they clung to each other, leaning on each other.

  Was that what was happening now?

  She didn’t know how to feel when she realized she didn’t want that to be the case. She wanted this to be the real thing. For once in her life, something real, something just for her.

  Just thinking about all the things she’d missed was enough to make tears sting behind her eyes. This was probably the last place she wanted to start crying, on the back of a motorcycle with her arms wrapped around Zane’s waist, but there was no ignoring the impulse to cry yet again, even after she’d sobbed her heart out earlier.

  Was this how it was for Marnie? For all their clients? Did they all end up breaking down once the true weight of everything happening around them finally settled? Once their heart was able to catch up with the rapid-fire developments and revelations?

  She’d never felt so weak and needy in all her life. Even when she was little, raising herself five days a week. There was no choice but to stand up and be a big girl back t
hen. There was no room for being afraid, for needing things.

  She knew now that she carried that attitude with her all through her life—afraid to need anybody because they could disappear at any moment.

  The truth of this knocked the breath out of her lungs, and she found herself clinging tighter than ever to Zane as they sped down the highway.

  For ten years, she’d been afraid to need anyone.

  And now, it was almost laughable because her mom might’ve staged her own disappearance. Zane only thought she couldn’t hear him from Logan’s office. What he didn’t know, what he couldn’t have known, was that Logan had a speaker on his desk, one which fed him the sounds from outside his office.

  It wasn’t spying, technically—there couldn’t be any real expectation of privacy being out in the open like that. It wasn’t like he’d bugged the restroom or a private office or something like that.

  He wanted to always be aware of what was going on with his team, and she respected that. He knew what he was doing, obviously.

  She’d heard Zane’s conversation with Sledge. She knew what he was thinking, and even though the part of her that was still a kid wishing her mother would come home wanted to dismiss his theories without a second thought, the adult she’d grown into knew too well how right he might’ve been. She didn’t have to want him to be right for it to be so.

  How was a person supposed to react when everything they thought was true turned out to be a lie?

  “You okay back there?” Zane asked as they came to a stop at the bottom of an off-ramp, waiting for the light to change.

  “Just fine!” she lied, injecting as much cheerfulness into her voice as she could. She then directed him to her apartment which wasn’t far from where they’d exited, an old converted warehouse, like so many others lining the waterfront. The buildings had sat in disrepair for decades before somebody started snapping them up, converting them to lofts, turning the courtyards in which workers used to gather to eat lunch and smoke into green spaces for residents to walk their dogs and socialize.