Wolf Shield Investigations: Boxset

by Dee Bridgnorth

  “Actually, the cabin is in my maternal grandfather’s name. He passed it down to my mom, who had no use for it, so it became my father’s, by default. But the names were never changed. The cabin is still in her father’s name. Don’t ask me why,” he added, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture.

  “You don’t think they’d be able to find him there, even so?”

  “The team and I lived there the first six months after we returned to the states. We hid there. Believe me, if they had any way of tracing the cabin’s ownership, they would’ve done it back then when everything was still fresh. They never did. I go up there every once a while to see if the traps I set have been tripped.”

  “Traps?” She tipped her head to the side, skeptical. “Like what?”

  Rather than answer right away, he waved his arms around the room. “Hurry up and pack. We don’t have a lot of time.”

  He was right, though it irked her to be scolded. She threw clothes into a suitcase at random, having already done the same thing for her father. He was in the living room now, watching TV as always.

  “Take everything you wouldn’t mind losing if the worst happened,” he advised. He had no idea what he was actually saying, that much was clear—if he had, he would’ve been a little gentler about it.

  It was a good thing then that there was nothing in that little rental house of much value to her, just her father, her mother’s crucifix and chain, and of course the safe in the bedroom closet.

  She looked at it, the door open. Fat chance of them lugging it around with them Logan’s truck—as it was, the contents were too important for her to transport them. What if they had an accident? What if the truck got stolen?

  What if she lost her crutch?

  She nodded to the safe, hoping she seemed casual. “What do you think I should do about that? I don’t want to leave them behind.”

  “Them?” Right. She hadn’t told him.

  “That’s where I keep the pills. In that safe.”

  He looked from her to the safe and back again, his eyes bulging. “How do you get the thing from place to place?”

  “Very carefully,” she chuckled. Was she actually making jokes right now? Was it some vague survival instinct, a way of closing herself off from the chaos inside her head? “I use a dolly and a ramp. It’s not that hard. I usually rent a moving truck, anyway, when we have to leave wherever we’ve been living.”

  His face fell, and she knew what was coming. “You had to do all of that by yourself.”

  “I didn’t have much choice.” She was irked with herself much more than she was with him. It was probably a natural reaction to sympathize with what he imagined she’d suffered, to wish he could’ve been a help to her back then. He was a good man, a decent one, and anybody with even a shred of decency would have felt the same way.

  No, she was irked with herself because she wanted more than anything to succumb to that pity, to sink into it and wrap it around herself like the blanket she’d wrapped herself in as the shock of what she’d done wore off.

  She wanted to agree that yes, what she’d overcome had been monumental, that not just anybody would have the strength and fortitude to survive this long with no help.

  But that would’ve been weak, and she wasn’t weak.

  “Of course not.” He went to the safe, examining it. She was so close to asking when he had suddenly become an expert in safes but thought better of it. As it was, she was glad he agreed to let her go with him on his little road trip without too much argument.

  She liked pressing his buttons, but she knew when to stop.

  He turned to her. “We don’t have to bring the safe, but we can bring the contents. If you’d feel better having them with you, that is.”

  Would she?

  The thought of being without them, where anything might happen, was enough to make her palms go slick and her heart beat double time.

  Her impulse was to say yes; they should bring the boxes of pills with them. And she would look after them, would guard them with her life because they were the one constant, the only thing she had to keep her normal. Sane. Human.

  So why didn’t she say it? What held her back?

  They were an anchor. They held her down, even without the weight of the safe in which she kept them. Now that she’d seen what was possible without them, that a person could learn to control the shift, they no longer had the same sort of importance they used to.

  “Well?” He prompted. “What do you think? How are we going to go with this?”

  She scowled at herself, and at him. “I’ll empty it out, and whoever takes Dad can take the pills with them. I’ll bring a fresh bottle just in case, but otherwise? I trust you guys.”

  “I wish I could say that didn’t mean anything, but it does—you trusting us, I mean.”

  She went to the safe, and he stepped aside so she could open it. When she swung the door open, the familiar sight of a white box greeted her. “It’s crazy,” she whispered in wonder, shaking her head.

  “What is?”

  “I looked at this as my lifeline for so long. I would open the door and see the pills sitting here, safe and sound, and I could breathe a sigh of relief. They were proof that I could continue being myself, that I didn’t have to give in to what they did to me.”

  He crouched next to her, looking into the safe. “What does it make you feel now?”

  She felt so clumsy, taking the risk of opening up even further. It was bad enough she’d done what she did out in the living room, practically humping him and all because he offered a little comfort, a little understanding. She was weak, damn it, even weaker than she’d admitted in the past.

  That didn’t make it go away, the ache that formed in her chest whenever she considered holding things back from him. Here he was, the first person who understood, the first to offer any curiosity or concern, and all she wanted to do was connect.

  “I’m not sure,” she admitted, looking at the box. “Like it weighed me down. Like I would be a complete idiot to take it with me while we travel around to find these people. Just a few days ago, I was sure I couldn’t live without these.”

  She turned to him as he turned to her. “How is it possible for so much to change so quickly? It’s like I’m a totally different person now. I’m not so afraid anymore.”

  “That’s a good thing. Don’t overthink it,” he chuckled quietly. “That’s the worst thing you could do. Just… accept it. Breathe. You don’t have to go through it alone anymore.” His hand found the small of her back, and it fit perfectly there. Like she’d been built for him, and he for her.

  Terrific. She was about to go on a road trip with the guy, and now that they’d kissed, it would be harder than ever to look at him as nothing more than just a person.

  At least he didn’t seem bothered by it. Otherwise, he might have objected even more strongly to her coming along on the trip.

  Braxton came in, breaking their moment. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or annoyed as Logan stood to face him. “All clear. There was no sign of anyone but that guy—we’ll take care of the body,” he added, glancing to Jenna.

  She’d ended a human life. She had killed somebody, made it so he would never draw breath again. “Did he have ID on him?” she thought to ask.

  He shook his head. “No, that’s too much risk. We’ll never know who he was, not that it matters. We know what he was trying to do, and that’s all that’s important.” A smile floated across his face. “For what it’s worth, and not to sound disrespectful, you’re a hell of a shot.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “Thanks, I guess.” She wasn’t used to being praised, at least not for anything outside her hacking ability. It was nice, even if the compliment had to do with how efficiently she’d managed to end another human life.

  “You’re going to take the general to the cabin.” She took note of how Logan didn’t need to explain herself.

  “Great idea,” Braxton nodded.

  “How many of you
can be spared?” Jenna asked, suddenly nervous. “Will it be just you alone?”

  “How do you think it should be?” Logan asked, and it took her a second to realize the question was genuine. He was really asking for her opinion.

  And it flustered the hell out of her. “Hmm, I don’t know. He can generally take care of himself. He likes TV and will sit in front of it all day. He can take care of his basic needs. He shouldn’t be left alone for long, and he’ll need you to do the cooking for him. Otherwise, he shouldn’t be that much of a problem. If you feel safe in that area, like nobody knows of Logan’s connection to it, I think two people are more than enough to keep an eye on him.”

  Logan nodded, satisfied, turning to Braxton. “It’s settled. Zane and Sledge will stay behind with their mates. You and Jace, you go up to the cabin with the general.”

  “I hope it’s not too much trouble,” she murmured, guilty.

  She didn’t take Braxton’s snicker personally. “It’s what we do.”

  Right. She had to keep reminding herself she wasn’t alone anymore. She had a team behind her, people who’d come at a moment’s notice.

  She went out to the living room, finding her father sitting next to the suitcase she’d left for him by the chair. The entire world could be burning down around him and he’d sit there, staring at the TV.

  “Dad?” She knelt in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “I’m gonna go on a short trip. It won’t take long—maybe a week, hopefully less. We’re gonna go out and fix things. Just reconnaissance for now. Once we know where these people live and all that, Logan will come back and get the team together so they can go after them. You’ll be safe while I’m gone. I promise. I trust these guys. You’ll be just fine.”

  He pried his eyes away from the TV long enough to look at her, and she froze in surprise. It was rare for him to react to anything she said without her prodding him into it. “Okay, Dad?” she asked, trying to smile. “Everything’s going to be okay. And if there’s any way for us to take any of these people out on our own, we will. I promise. You’ll be safe.”

  She only hoped she wasn’t lying.

  She stood, and he followed her movement with his eyes. Logan stood beside her, and her heart clenched when her father’s gaze shifted from her to this new person.

  It clenched even tighter when his brows drew together, his eyes narrowing. “Oh, no,” she whispered, taking Logan by the arm and leading him away. “He recognizes you. Shoot, I never thought about that.” And he’d be in a cabin with two more of the men whose lives were turned upside down with him there the whole time, witnessing it.

  Logan heaved a heavy sigh. “I can’t tell you what to do. If his conscience is somehow bothering him or his memories are stirring up and he doesn’t know what to do about them, it’ll have to be the way it is.”

  She scowled. “You still hold it against him, then? What he did? Even though he had a change of heart?”

  His face hardened, and he went right back to being the man she’d first met at the café. “Do you really want to have this discussion right now? You’re not going to like what I have to say.”

  This was all a mistake. But what other choice did she have? “Fine. Let’s just go on with things the way we’ve planned. He can deal with it for a few days.”

  If only Logan wouldn’t look so smug like he’d won.

  This was going to be a long week.

  Chapter Fifteen

  This was a total mistake.

  What was he doing sending two members of his team to protect a man who really didn’t deserve protection? Sure, it was a shame what happened to him, and yes, he had a change of heart, which meant he wasn’t a complete monster.

  Maybe he really never had intended for things to blow up the way they had. Still, it was completely twisted, the idea of treating people like a science project. He couldn’t wrap his mind around that.

  Was it true that the biggest challenges in life were presented to a person so they could grow? So they could conquer their issues? If so, he wondered what he’d done to earn this challenge, learning to disassociate a person from the terrible things they’d done.

  They passed the first hour of their drive in silence with Jenna sulking in the passenger seat. He’d hoped she would go to sleep, that fatigue would overwhelm her once the adrenaline wore off.

  No such luck. Instead, she practically radiated rage, occasionally letting out a snort of derision. He knew she was only doing it to draw questions out of him, so he would ask her what she was thinking. That was a trap he wasn’t about to fall into.

  Instead, he reached into the console and pulled out a burner phone. “I forgot to give this to you earlier. It has everybody’s numbers programmed into it, including Val, Hawk, and Doc. In case anything happens, call them.”

  She accepted the phone. “What do you mean, in case anything happens?”

  “To me. If anything happens to me.” He glanced at her before turning his attention to the road again. “Try not to waste time celebrating if that happens.”

  “Believe me,” she muttered. “Any time I spent celebrating is not wasted time.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Of course I do. I know exactly what you mean. I stand by what I said.”

  “You never struck me as this sort of person.” It would probably be better to let the matter drop, but he couldn’t help himself. The thought of spending a week like this, the two of them snapping one-word answers at each other, set his teeth on edge. It was like the kiss had never happened, like their souls reaching out to each other was all a matter of his imagination. Wishful thinking, even.

  And it pained him beyond belief.

  “What’s that mean?” she sneered.

  “A person who couldn’t be rational. You always struck me as being rational, even when I couldn’t understand your motives. Everything you’ve done up to this point has been calculated, clever.”

  She scoffed. “And now here I am, acting like a human being with emotions. Being an overemotional woman, right?”

  “Don’t put words into my mouth.”

  “I’m not. That’s exactly what you’re trying to say. You thought I was rational, but I’m not.”

  “What do you want me to say?” The road was practically empty with it being only three o’clock in the morning, so he could afford to look at her for longer than a split second. “That just because your father was attacked, it erases what he did? I’m sorry if it’s going to take me more than a couple of days to be all right with him, but it is. Would you rather I lied? I refuse to lie.”

  “Because you’re so honorable, right?”

  Had he been completely wrong about her all along? What an idiot, opening himself up to her, letting her in, letting her infect him—because that was what she’d done, even if she hadn’t intended to. She had infected him, had left him unable to think about anyone but her.

  There was no future for them. What was he thinking? Her father was a monster, yet she still adored him, still protected him with her life. He didn’t even know whether that was right or wrong, and he knew it wasn’t his place to make that decision for her.

  Still, he didn’t have to like any of it, and he wasn’t about to pretend he did.

  “I’m not going to have this fight with you,” he muttered, clenching his teeth. “We have a job to do here.”

  “You should’ve brought Aimee with you, not me.”

  “You might be right about that. She would do her job and not pick arguments.”

  “But I wouldn’t want to lie,” she replied, taunting him. Cruel. “You wouldn’t want to ask me to lie, would you?”

  His blood boiled, his wolf panted. No matter how deep and blazing the desire she’d brought to life, the hatred she was stirring in his heart was twice as intense. He hated her just then, more than he’d ever hated her back when she was nothing more than a concept, a pest.

  No, it was much easier to hate flesh and blood, especially when that flesh and blood ins
isted on being ignorant. “You could just shut your mouth. That’s not lying. It’s just not talking.”

  “You could’ve kept your mouth shut instead of insulting my father.”

  “I never insulted anyone!”

  “You made it sound like he deserved to be distressed, which is a terrible thing to say. He can’t express himself. He can’t ask forgiveness or explain why he did what he did. He just has to sit there and absorb it, locked away in his head. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine bearing the weight of somebody else’s hatred when there was nothing you could do to defend yourself?”

  Ouch. That stung. She was too right, and he didn’t want her to be. He wanted his righteous indignation to be pure, unquestioned.

  “I’m sorry he suffered. I’m sorry he almost died. I didn’t do that to him. And I’m not the reason somebody tried to kill him, either. I had nothing to do with that, but I can’t forget what he did to us. And I’m not going to shed a tear over his distress. What about our distress? Hell, what about yours?”

  “That’s not fair. Don’t do that. Don’t pretend this has anything to do with me.”

  “But it does! His screwed-up obsession destroyed your life—at least, it put it on hold for a long time. You keep popping those pills every day, terrified of what might happen to you without them. That’s wrong. I’m sorry if I’m not going to go out of my way to spare his feelings.”

  “He knew what he did was wrong. Why can’t that be enough for you?”

  “Maybe it will be eventually. You’ve had years to get used to it. I’ve had a couple of days. Stop asking for the impossible.”

  “I didn’t know empathy was impossible!” She threw her hands into the air, laughing. “You learn something new every day, don’t you?

  “I do feel empathy, which is why I spared two of my team members to protect his ass! I didn’t have to do that!”

  “Then why did you?”

  “For you, Beth!”

  There was that silence again, the kind that descended after something happened that couldn’t be taken back. Something big, something explosive.