Wolf Shield Investigations: Boxset

by Dee Bridgnorth

  “Oh, my God,” Jenna muttered, looking sick.

  “And that’s the tip of the iceberg. There are all sorts of stories floating around my family. Rumors of bootlegging, you name it. That’s the money I live on today. Granted, there are other things involved—investments, like I said, but at the foundation? There’s blood. Blood and sweat, but not the blood and sweat of my great-grandfather. Other people’s misery. People who had to live in poverty practically, even though they spent most of their lives working seven days a week.”

  He dared look at her, gauging her reaction as this sank in. “What do you think of my money now?”

  She shook her head. “Please, don’t put me on the spot.”

  “I’m not trying to. And honestly, I’ve come to terms with things over time. So whatever you say, you’re not going to hurt my feelings. What do you think about my living off that money?”

  He expected her to think about it, to maybe try to change the subject. Instead, she fired off a quick, firm response. “I think you do good things with it. You help people. And you used it to give the team jobs so they could have security and you could all be together and make sense of what was done to you. I think you’ve managed to balance the scales pretty effectively, to tell you the truth.”

  He hadn’t expected that. The most he’d hoped for were quiet platitudes, assurances that she wasn’t talking about him when she expressed disgust at people living well off of blood money. That he was okay because she knew him personally—and also because he’d already suffered so much, he deserved a break.

  How was it possible she saw him so clearly? She saw part of himself that he had never bothered exploring. She saw good things in him. Maybe he’d never taken the time before to really search himself, to search his conscience or his motivations. There hadn’t been time. And he was normally the last person he thought of, always putting the others first the way leaders did.

  They came up to a diner, and any doubt as to whether or not he should enter the parking lot was cast aside when Jenna clapped. “Oh, thank God,” she groaned. “I’m starved.”

  “Maybe this time, you won’t run out and leave me with the bill.” He knew he shouldn’t tease her about that, but it was too tempting—especially when she blushed.

  “Don’t throw that in my face, okay? I was overwhelmed.” She said it with all the dignity of a grand duchess, sniffing the air. “Besides, it’s not like I didn’t fully expect you to pay for my meal.”

  “Sure. It was the least I could do after you hacked into my truck.” When her eyes narrowed, he relented. “Kidding, kidding.”

  The diner was pleasant enough, clean and brightly lit. A smiling girl led them to a table, passing a row of what could only be truckers seated at the counter. They had the look about them, and the stench of diesel fuel and cigarettes hung on their clothes. He guessed only he could smell it; otherwise, nobody would want to share a dining area with them.

  One of the perils of the wolf’s senses.

  Although Jenna seemed to notice it, too, her nose wrinkling the way it had when he’d called her cute. “Ugh,” she whispered as they sat, one eye on the men. “If I wasn’t about to pass out from hunger, I’d ask to go someplace else.”

  “You smell it, too?” he asked, more surprised than anything else. “I thought it was just me because… you know.”

  She shrugged, her gaze turning to the menu in front of her. “I don’t know. It just hit me right in the face. But I might die by the time we reach another restaurant.”

  “Wow. I wouldn’t want you to literally starve to death right in front of me.” He was chuckling when he opened the menu. “Hey, maybe we can grab cheesesteaks tonight.”

  “Ooh, that sounds good. I swear, I could just keep eating and never stop.” If he didn’t know better from what she’d told him, he would’ve asked if she was pregnant. But that would be mean, given what she’d confessed. She might think he was making fun, though he was the last person with any reason to.

  There were TVs mounted to the wall behind the counter, one at either end, and both played the local news. “Of course,” he murmured as footage of the blaze in the restaurant parking lot played.

  “Jeez,” she whispered, watching with him. The fire had spread in spite of the rain, and five other cars had been caught up. Fortunately, firefighters had brought things under control before anybody’s gas tank exploded and made the whole thing worse.

  “Whoever is behind this, they’re not caring so much anymore whether they’re discreet,” he murmured, disgusted. “I mean, that’s quite a statement. Blowing up a man’s car out in public, where anybody could’ve been caught up in it.”

  “Same with the crash,” she added, sounding roughly as disgusted as he felt. “Anybody could’ve been wrapped up in that. It’s a miracle nobody else was killed. They could’ve been so easily.”

  “Desperation makes people sloppy. I think that’s what we’re looking at here.”

  The waitress came by to take their order, and the poor girl looked like she didn’t know what to do with herself when Jenna ordered a Hungry Man’s Platter: eggs, steak, bacon, potatoes, and toast. “Does living on the edge like this make you hungry?” he asked, trying to sound lighthearted.

  “Are you trying to shame me for having a healthy appetite?”

  “I would never.”

  “Because I was going to say that would be really lame. Just when I’m starting to think you’re a decent guy.” She shook her head mournfully but snickered. “I’ll be right back.”

  From his vantage point, he watched her walk virtually the entire length of the diner until she reached the ladies’ room. And he wasn’t the only one who noticed either—the men at the counter craned their necks to get a good look at her.

  Not that he could blame them. She was infinitely attractive, whether she wore a T-shirt and jeans as she did then or a little black dress.

  What bothered him was the way they nudged each other, snickering. There were more than a few muttered observations, punctuated by crude laughter. The way men laughed when they had nothing but nastiness on their minds.

  He was a man too, and in spite of his self-imposed celibacy, he understood what it meant for the appendage between his legs to take over for his common sense sometimes. He knew how men got when they were together too—he’d done enough joking around, had heard enough story swapping during his time in the service to put anything these men could say to shame.

  But this was Jenna. Neither he nor his wolf took well to Jenna being the object of the snide laughter, the nudging, the innuendo. His hands curled into fists, fists that he hid beneath the table. His wolf was dangerously close to the surface, fighting its way into his consciousness.

  This was nothing new. He only had to hold back, to keep his thoughts clear and focused. Giving over to rage would be like inviting the wolf, like handing out an engraved invitation to burst free and terrify everybody present.

  Though it might be nice, seeing those men reduced to whimpering, pleading, sobbing wrecks.

  He was lost in this little fantasy when Jenna emerged, smiling at a little girl seated in a booth before heading back to where Logan waited. One of the men at the counter whistled, and Logan could tell just from the way her shoulders tensed that she heard it and knew who it was for. Even so, she managed to pretend she hadn’t noticed.

  It was when one of the men swiveled on his stool and stood in front of her that things started to get out of hand. “Excuse me,” the man chuckled. Two innocent words—at least, they were usually innocent if they were offered sincerely. The trucker made it sound dirty, absolutely filthy.

  Logan was on his feet in a flash. “Hey.”

  Jenna met his eyes, looking around the burly man’s arm. She shook her head slightly—of course, she was right. Getting into a fight would be the worst possible thing to do.

  Still, she was outmatched, at least physically. That didn’t mean she couldn’t flash a brilliant smile, putting on her most charming persona.
“No, excuse me.” She even batted her eyelashes a little, clearly having fun with the man.

  But he wasn’t in the mood for fun. At least, not that kind of fun. One of his buddies stood too, this one behind her. She was blocked in. What did they think they were doing with so many other people in the diner? So many witnesses?

  “What’s your name?” The first man asked, and while Logan couldn’t see his face, he knew the pig was leering at her. A man who barely had the right to even look at her, who hardly deserved to breathe the same air as she did. What made him think he was in any way worthy of her?

  “Don’t worry about that.” She tried to sidestep him, but he got in the way. Logan drew near, his wolf begging and pleading to be let free. Even if there weren’t children in the place, he still wouldn’t have allowed it. That sort of activity drew attention, questions.

  “Why can’t you be friendly? I’ve been on the road a long time, and you’re the best-looking thing I’ve seen in ages.”

  “Hal, leave that little girl alone!” The gruff line cook looked out at them through the window between the dining room and kitchen.

  “Mind your business!” Hal fired back.

  “Just leave me alone, okay?” There was no fear in Jenna’s voice, not even so much as a whisper of it.

  No. There was something else. Something… familiar.

  And with it was a voice in his head. A new voice, not his wolf.

  Her wolf.

  In spite of the chill inside the diner, she’d started to sweat. Her face went red, her body trembling. Her breath came in sharp, short grunts.

  “Oh, my God,” he whispered, darting across the room and pushing Hal aside. The man fell back with a cry of surprise, cursing. Logan would’ve told him to be grateful for being saved from her, but there was no time for that.

  Their eyes met for just a split second, and he took note of the way they widened, darkened. She was moments away from shifting.

  Which left him no choice but to throw an arm around her and practically carry her out of the diner before they’d even gotten their food. There was no chance to apologize to anyone inside, either. Every second counted.

  Jenna’s breathing was labored, her body like a furnace. “Hold on. Hold on!” He threw her into the truck, not even bothering to be gentle, before throwing himself inside too and peeling out of the parking lot.

  “I—I can’t! What’s—?” She panted, groaning, sweat pouring from her. He felt her wolf’s torment, the confusion, the agony of waiting in silence, the hope of finally being free, fighting to be seen and heard and known.

  He veered off the road, taking a dirt path several hundred yards into a wooded area before slamming on the brakes and putting the truck in park.

  “When were you going to tell me you stopped taking the pills?” he demanded, ready to shake her until her head fell off.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It was like a nightmare, like a living nightmare.

  Her body was in torment, on the fire inside. Her skin was sticky, damp with sweat, and she stank. It was so foul, all of it, everything she’d been trying to avoid for so long.

  She opened her eyes to find Logan staring at her from only inches away. His face was a mask of rage, but she couldn’t even bother to shrink away from it. Because she wasn’t afraid—if anything, her wolf wanted her to rise to the occasion, to match rage with rage.

  Because damned if she wasn’t enraged. The fire burning in her wasn’t just the result of the strain of trying to keep her wolf at bay. It was fury. So many things she’d locked away for so long, the fury of a woman who was barely more than a girl when her entire life was taken away.

  She wanted so badly to show it to Logan, to let him see what went on in her, what really went on, to let him know her wolf was just as strong as his. God, it was so tempting. It would be so easy to let go…

  “Jenna!” he barked. “Listen to me. Hold on. Focus on something in front of you. Focus on it with all your attention. Can you do it?”

  “You’re in front of me. You’re all I can see.” Even the act of drawing breath and forming words was a struggle, but she fought as hard as she could.

  "Fine. Focus on me. Look at me.” He took her face in his hands, holding her head still. She flinched away from his touch, not because it hurt, but because in the little bit of human consciousness still left her, she was embarrassed at how sweaty and disgusting she was. And he was touching her, which couldn’t have been pleasant.

  “I can’t!” she wailed, writhing.

  “Yes, you can. You’re stronger than this. You are mentally strong. We both know it. Learn to control it. No matter what, you’re always the one in control of whether or not you choose to let the wolf in. Now is not the time. You have to be in control.”

  “But I don’t want to be,” she confessed, tears rolling down her cheeks to mix with the saltwater already coming from her pores.

  “I know.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I know what it’s like. If I can do it, so can you. Take your time. Breathe. One breath at a time. Look at me.”

  She looked at him, taking him in, his eyes filled with something she’d never seen there before. Fear? Concern, most likely. Yes, he was concerned with her, for her. She was a liability, a loose cannon. He probably had no idea how to manage her.

  His mouth. She wanted to taste it again, wanted it more than she’d ever wanted anything. Even more than she wanted to shift, to let the wolf free, she wanted him. And maybe that was the wolf too, urging her to take what was right in front of her. To stop questioning, to stop doubting. To just be. To live.

  Slowly, she felt herself coming back to the present moment. There wasn’t that sense of fighting something she could hardly control. She could breathe, she could think. And she was absolutely exhausted.

  “Good girl,” he murmured, and in spite of the mind-numbing fatigue that slammed into her the moment she regained control, she couldn’t help thrilling a little at his approval.

  The thrill didn’t last long. He sat back on his side of the cab, growling. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Skipping pills!”

  It was a bad move on her part, and she knew it. “I should’ve told you,” she admitted, “but I knew what you would say. You would tell me it was a bad idea.”

  “And it is a bad idea since this isn’t the time to experiment! Do you know what could’ve happened back there? The sort of trouble we could both be in? Come on, Jenna, you’re smarter than this! What did you think would happen?”

  “I don’t know! That’s the whole idea. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t have the first clue. But now that I’m with you, now that I see how you keep living your life even with this other part of you just behind the curtain, I figured…” It all sounded so ridiculous, so childish now that she said it out loud. What was she thinking? He was right—they might’ve gotten into huge trouble all because of her because she didn’t have the good sense to keep taking her pills until it was safe to stop.

  He rubbed his temples, his eyes closing. “Listen to me. I would be more than happy to help you with this like I always wished there was somebody to help me. You wouldn’t have to go through it alone. But not right now. Not when there’s so much hanging in the balance.”

  “But it might be helpful, right? What happens if we’re in a tight spot? I’m not much use to you like this.” She gestured to herself, her entire body. “Yeah, I’m stronger than I was before, but still. One look at a wolf shifter would have turned those pigs into babies. They would’ve peed their pants if they took a look at me. Could that be helpful?”

  “Sure, it would,” he admitted. “Or you could have an altercation with a random stranger and suddenly burst into wolf form. You’re not in control of it yet. You don’t know how to get past those inevitable moments. Hell, I was fighting it back myself when I first noticed the way those men were looking at you. The wolf wanted to tear their throats out one at a time while the rest of them watched. I can’t even tell you the th
ings that went through my head. But I was able to control it because I have practice. You need to practice first.”

  She looked away from him, out the window. There were still tears waiting to be shed, stinging behind her eyes, and for some perverse reason, she didn’t want him to see. He had already touched her sweaty skin, had seen her just about to fall to pieces, but it was the thought of him seeing her cry that embarrassed her the worst.

  “I just don’t want to do it anymore,” she confessed in a whisper, her voice thick with emotion. “I want to be me, just me. I don’t want to take the pills anymore. “

  He was quiet for a long time, long enough to make her wonder what he was thinking, why he couldn’t say what was on his mind. Maybe he was disgusted with her—not that she could blame him since she was pretty disgusted with herself just then. Of course, it was a bad idea to randomly stop taking the pills, especially when they were on the road together. Doing it at home, where it would just be her, was another story.

  She was just so ready to move on all because of him, because the dreams she’d had after falling back to sleep had involved the wolf. Her wolf. His wolf too. The two of them running together. Hunting with nothing but the moon to light their way.

  Though it was only a dream, she craved it. When she’d woken up at the sound of him getting out of his bed, the first thing she’d done was slam her eyes shut again and hope to go back to the world where they were together, running and playing and hunting. Just the two of them against the rest of the world.