Wolf Shield Investigations: Boxset

by Dee Bridgnorth

  There was absolutely no way anybody could know she was in that suite.

  If somebody could just convince her nerves there was nothing to be freaked out about, everything would be okay.

  She turned the TV on which of course made her think of her father. How was he doing? If nobody had called with concerns or complaints, she guessed that meant everything had to be okay. It was one of those situations where no news was good news.

  Still, when Logan returned, she would ask him to call Braxton or Jace to get an update.

  She went to the window, looking down. The hotel was situated right in the middle of Center City, only a couple of blocks down from City Hall. She’d visited the city a few times over the years, school trips, and once, they’d gone down on the Fourth of July to watch the fireworks. It was a lot of fun, and she remembered enjoying herself. She’d always been a little bit of a history nerd, so the historic buildings and tours were probably more interesting to her than anyone her age.

  It was a shame they couldn’t do any sightseeing while they were there.

  Would life ever be normal? Would there ever be any semblance of peace and tranquility in her life? Would there ever come a time when she could travel freely, go where she pleased without the fear of somebody zeroing in on her?

  If they made it out of this alive—so far, she had no reason to believe they wouldn’t, placing her faith in Logan and his experience—she would have him train her to control the shift. As much as it terrified her almost shifting at the diner, she understood now that it didn’t always have to be that way. Like Logan said, he had practice. She didn’t. Once she had experience on her side, it wouldn’t be nearly as exhausting to shift.

  At least, she hoped not. Otherwise, how did anybody on his team ever manage to get work done?

  Her stomach growled audibly. She was hungry now when eating had been the last thing on her mind after that debacle in Delaware. There were chips and nuts in the minibar. Hopefully, Logan wouldn’t mind paying a little extra because she didn’t know if she could make it another hour. She was already starting to get a little lightheaded, her blood sugar low.

  She flopped down on the sofa, flipping through channels at random. There was no hope of relaxing—she was way too keyed up now, waiting for somebody to try to break down the door and kidnap her.

  Breathe. Relax. She felt the shift threatening to take over again, her wolf reacting to the stress they were both under. She and her wolf were strangers living in the same brain. What an unbelievable situation.

  Rather than getting up and scrambling for her pills, which would only make her stress that much worse and maybe even bring the shift on, she closed her eyes. “Relax,” she whispered. Who was she talking to? Herself? Or her wolf?

  If Logan and the rest of them could do it, so could she. She could manage it. She didn’t have to be afraid of what was inside her. That only made the problem worse, turning away from it, pretending it didn’t exist out of fear.

  What a mistake that had been all along.

  And whose fault was it? Was there even any fault to be assigned? Sure, she could’ve refused the pills from the beginning. She could’ve decided to make the best of the situation. But how was she supposed to do that on her own? She had no one to guide her.

  And a father who acted like she was a monster, an abomination. Not that he blamed her for it—if anything, he’d blamed himself, and in the end, yes, this was his creation. The wolf inside her had come to be because of him, his ideas, his team.

  Still, he’d barely been able to look at her. Eye contact had become about as rare as snow in summer, and when he’d stolen the pills, every last one, he’d acted like it was the answer to their prayers. She didn’t have to be a monster.

  At least, until the pills ran out. Not exactly the best long-term plan.

  It wasn’t like she could think about anything long-term once he was given the hot shot and left for dead. Her priorities had most definitely shifted at that point. Who had the time or endurance to juggle a father near death, the certainty that someone had tried to kill him and would come back to finish the job, and learning how to balance life as a human and the wolf?

  The pills had been a godsend back then. At least they’d given her control over one aspect of her unraveling life.

  But they had definitely become a crutch. No matter what Logan thought, she couldn’t bear the idea of going back to them every day. She didn’t want to be afraid anymore. There was so much she’d avoided at first because she just didn’t have the time or bandwidth to handle things.

  Now? She saw that she had deliberately avoided her entire life. Caution was one thing, but her limited existence was another. And in a way, limits she’d placed on herself probably played a part in how strongly she was attracted to Logan, too.

  If she hadn’t avoided other people for so long, she might not have subconsciously leaped toward him the second he showed even the slightest bit of interest.

  You know that isn’t true.

  Her eyes flew open, wide, fearful. There was another voice in her head—at least, it sounded like a voice. Completely unlike her own yet hers. Part of her. Her wolf?

  What was she supposed to do? Introduce herself? Apologize for keeping the wolf at bay for so long, in a virtual cage?

  The weak part of her mind immediately urged her to get a pill, to swallow it quickly, to silence that voice. It was too much, too much at once, everything closing in. She couldn’t handle it. She wasn’t strong enough. She was alone, all alone. Logan wasn’t there to help her this time.

  You know what is true. You know what is real.

  She forced herself to take one long, slow breath, refusing to let panic take over. What was so scary about another voice in her head? Okay, it was different, but it didn’t have to be scary. It was up to her to decide how she felt about this. Not her father, not Logan, not anybody. Just her.

  She focused on releasing the tension forming in her head, across her shoulders and down her back one muscle at a time, deliberately loosening, breathing. There was nothing scary happening. It was just another part of her showing itself after a long time of being silent.

  It occurred to her then that she had no idea what she looked like as the wolf. It wasn’t like they’d put mirrors up in the lab, in the cell which was more of a cage. Would her fur be the same color as her hair? What about her eyes? Would they look like hers?

  Questions that had once scared her silly now sparked curiosity. She didn’t have to be afraid. It was like sunshine pouring in, flooding her life with light. She didn’t have to be afraid, and she didn’t have to be ashamed. It was up to her how she felt.

  Just like it was up to her whether or not she wanted Logan. There was no sense in pretending there was a choice. She was powerless against him, end of story. She wanted him, and she wouldn’t apologize for wanting him.

  The doorknob jiggled.

  Her eyes flew open, her head snapping around to the side. She looked at the door, holding her breath. Logan? No, he wouldn’t randomly try to open the door. Then again, who would? They were in a hotel; of course, there was an electronic lock.

  It moved again, ever so slightly. She consoled herself with the knowledge that even if the person in question had an electronic key, she’d used the special privacy bolt, too. They weren’t about to get through that.

  Still, curiosity set her on her feet, tiptoeing to the door. She barely breathed as she closed in, touching the door with nothing but the very tips of her fingers to brace herself as she leaned in, peering out the peephole.

  Nothing. The hall was empty. Unless whoever had tested the knob was very, very short, they were nowhere to be found. They’d left. For all she knew, it could’ve been somebody randomly walking down the hall deciding to mess with people. Some bratty kid.

  She was too worked up. Maybe another soak in the Jacuzzi was in order. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to function with this level of stress constantly weighing on her, and she certainly wouldn’t be a
ny help to Logan in this state.

  Her phone rang, making her jump. She put a hand to her chest, her heart thumping underneath. If she made it out of this without having a heart attack, it would be a small miracle.

  It was Logan. “Hi,” she breathed on answering.

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m across the street grabbing some food. I should be up in a minute or two. Everything okay?”

  “Honestly? I had a weird moment there.”

  “Weird how?”

  “Somebody tried to turn the door handle. There’s nobody out there, and they didn’t try to force the door. Maybe it was just somebody randomly passing by.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “Let’s be honest. How could anybody track us here? You said it yourself: it’s a big city.”

  “I completely agree—just the same, though, I’ll be sleeping in the living area tonight. The couch folds out. I don’t want you anywhere near the front door.”

  She wasn’t sure if this was flattering or insulting. On the one hand, the fact that he was so insistent on protecting her was nice. More than nice. It made her tingle from her head to her toes, sending a flush creeping up from her chest to her face.

  On the other hand, she knew how to handle a weapon. “Have you forgotten that I managed to put a bullet between an intruder’s eyes?” she asked, more irritation than humor in her voice.

  “I couldn’t forget about that.”

  “So?”

  “So, could we talk about this later, please? When I’m not out in public, on the—” He stopped suddenly, only the sound of his breathing coming through.

  “Logan? Where’d you go?” Her hand shook hard enough to almost make her drop the phone.

  “I’m here,” he murmured. “Damn it, it’s like I’m seeing him everywhere. The guy the waitress described. I’m paranoid, too worked up. Maybe I could use a soak in the Jacuzzi.”

  “It’s waiting for you,” she offered, trying to banish thoughts of what he would look like soaking in the tub. The impulse to offer to scrub his back wasn’t helpful, either.

  “Yeah, I intend to make good on that. And when I’m finished, we have to make up a plan. There’s got to be a way of finding out whether this guy is really on our tail—and if he is, how’s he doing it?”

  “I’ll be right here, waiting,” she offered, holding the phone to her lips once he ended the call.

  The sense of something big waiting just around the corner tugged at the back of her mind. Whether that thing had to do with Logan or a potential threat, she wasn’t sure.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  A huge hoagie and a long soak went a long way toward helping Logan think more clearly. “Okay. We know there’s a chance someone is following our moves.”

  He looked over to the couch where Jenna still sat in her bathrobe. It was wrapped around her like a cocoon, hanging in folds. She looked, well, cute, which she would’ve hated to hear. Remnants of her Italian hoagie sat in front of her on the coffee table—not that she’d left much.

  She kicked off her slippers, tucking her feet under her. “Right. I can’t imagine how, but right.”

  “It’s not up to us to figure out why,” he reasoned. “We need to figure out how to stay in front of them. That’s what we can actually manage. Not why they’re following us or how.”

  “Of course. You’re right.” The way she looked up at him, so earnest, so filled with faith in his abilities, was nearly enough to stop his heart. Those eyes of hers—wearing a white robe only made their color stand out more than ever, and he could hardly stand it.

  He had to shake himself a little to free his thoughts for the matter at hand. “If someone’s on our tail, what do we do? Hide out here in the hotel until we drive out to Bryn Mawr? Then head north immediately after? Or do we linger, trying to see if somebody follows us around?”

  “You mean walk around like tourists to draw the guy out?”

  “It’s just a thought.”

  Her mouth screwed up in a thoughtful moue. “Hmm. It’s not a bad thought. Maybe insanely dangerous but not bad.”

  “You don’t trust me?”

  “It’s not you I don’t trust—and we wouldn’t be the only people in danger either. What about anybody else who happens to be walking around when we’re, you know, targeted?”

  “Oh. Good point.”

  “I mean, it’s Sunday night, but I’m sure there will still be people out on the street.”

  “Sure, sure. Then again, would they take that chance? Odds are no. It might mean revealing themselves to outsiders. Forget them not wanting to hit innocent bystanders—it’s obvious they don’t care about that, whoever they are.”

  “Yeah. I think we’ve established that by now.”

  He looked out the window from where he stood, the city stretching out in front of him. Was there an assassin out there waiting for them? “This guy could very well know where we’re staying if he was able to track us to the diner. We can’t discount the idea that he’s out there waiting for us to show our faces. He might’ve found the truck in the garage. He could’ve planted something on it—obviously, I wouldn’t so much as get behind the wheel without going over it with a fine-tooth comb.”

  “Maybe I could rent one using my fake license when we drive out to Bryn Mawr,” she suggested. “We could leave the truck here for the time being.”

  “You don’t trust me to find a problem if it’s there?” He turned to her, raising an eyebrow. “You’re hurting my pride.”

  “Shut up,” she laughed. “You know what I mean. Why take a chance when we don’t have to?”

  “I’ll keep that idea in mind,” he grinned. “Okay? Make you feel better?”

  “You’re such a jerk sometimes.” She ducked her head, but there was no missing the flush of her cheeks. “I’m only trying to think of a way to be helpful. I’m out of my depth here. Most of my skill involves sitting behind a computer.”

  “And you’re damn good at what you do. If it wasn’t for you, we would never have gotten this far. I mean it,” he added when she blushed more deeply than before.

  It struck him how different she was from the smirking, snarky hacker he’d first met. “I have to ask.” He sat on the opposite end of the sofa, facing her. “Where’s all that confidence I saw before? That swagger? Was it all an act?”

  She was clearly uncomfortable with this shift in the conversation, looking down at her hands. Her brow furrowed like she was deep in thought. “No. It wasn’t completely an act. But, you know, first impressions and all that. I know I’m good at what I do, and I have to admit to thinking you guys were all a little… dim. Like I’d built it up in my head that you were elite, the best, and then?”

  She held her hand up, her palm facing downward, and twisted her wrist back and forth. “Ehh.”

  “Hey, we were on top of things. Just because you knew what to expect…”

  “Because you expected me to be some loser who was doing this for kicks.”

  “You’re right.” He shrugged. “No sense in arguing that. I didn’t have much faith in you as a person. I figured you were a pathetic wimp who couldn’t get their kicks any other way but by making our lives miserable and showing what you could do.”

  She looked at him through downcast lashes. “And now?”

  Why did she have to do this to him? He bit back an audible groan. What did he think of her now? How much time did she have?

  He rubbed the back of his neck, where tiny hairs stood on end. Electrified. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”

  She blanched. “I hadn’t intended on making things difficult for you.”

  “But you are. You’re making things very, very difficult.”

  She gulped audibly. “How so?” There went that attempt at sounding confident like nothing could shake her. It was a poor attempt, and he saw right through it, but she tried.

  He drew a deep breath. This was not the time to be a coward, to back down before a woman with the p
ower to bring him to his knees. Refusing to acknowledge facts didn’t make a man stronger. If anything, his staunch refusal to admit what was plain to see made him weak.

  “I lost somebody a long time ago,” he murmured. Her head lifted, her eyes finding his and locking in. Yes, he could tell her the story when she looked at him that way, with her eyes wide and warm with understanding. “I told myself I’d never care about anybody again. My heart was buried with her. I’d had my chance at love, and that chance left, and that was it.”

  “That doesn’t seem fair to you,” she whispered. “You deserve so many good things.”

  “When you’re a kid and you’ve never known such deep grief, the world might as well be ending. You’re willing to make all sorts of vows to yourself, to God. Bargaining, you know. One of the stages of grief.” When she nodded, he went on. “Not that I thought my bargaining would bring her back. But… She died because I was driving too fast for that road at that time of night. I flipped the car. It was stupid, reckless, the sort of thing a kid does a hundred times and figures since nothing ever happened that they’re untouchable. She died because of that reckless behavior, and I was sure I’d never forgive myself. Maybe I never quite have. I don’t know. She would’ve lived if the seatbelt had held. Mine did, and I managed to walk away with nothing more than a few bruises. Nobody blamed me—so they said. But people have ways of blaming without saying it out loud, if you know what I mean.”

  “Sure. I understand, and that’s so awful.”

  He nodded. Yes, awful was a word for it. “I figured I could make it up to her by promising to never love anybody else.”

  Jenna cleared her throat. “You know, I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to suffer or blame yourself. If she loved you, she wouldn’t want that for you. She’d want you to be happy and have a good life.”

  “You’re right. And if she heard me talking this way, she’d kick my ass. Maybe not literally, but she knew how to cut a person down with just a few words. Even at eighteen, she was something else. Fearless. Didn’t care what people thought of her. Only me, and as far as I was concerned, she could do no wrong. She was an angel.”