Renewing Love

by Linda Ford

  A smile curved his lips. She’d likely never admit it, but she would be glad to see him.

  His smile disappeared. There was a time he had dreamed of her welcoming him home at the end of a day.

  Pushing aside the long-ago disappointment, he concentrated on the ground before him, seeking any tell-tale signs on this side of the river.

  He reached the place where he would turn off toward the ranch and stopped to listen and peer into the trees. Nothing. He eased through the overhanging branches and began the ascent to the buildings, squinting into the lengthening shadows. Every one of them seemed to pulse with threat, shift with a hidden man.

  At the barn, he pushed the door open, the squeal announcing his arrival.

  He took care of Sanchez, left the barn, and pushed the door shut, the sound tearing at his over-tight nerves. He turned Sanchez into the pasture and crossed to the house.

  The door was securely closed, despite the heat of the earlier part of the day. Had danger found its way to the occupants? He pushed it open and stepped inside. Only three people were in the house. He allowed himself to relax a bit.

  “Why are you ladies sitting in the dark?”

  “Waiting for you,” Aunt Alice said.

  “Why are the doors shut when you could be letting in cool air?” He looked at Eve sitting by the window. He knew she could see out and watch anyone coming and going. Good to know she remained alert to any danger.

  “I saved you supper.” She pulled a plate from the warming oven and put it on the table.

  Ma and Aunt Alice joined him at the table, both talking at once. Seems Eve’s pa had paid a visit. To check on his daughter? Aunt Alice had done something to her arm, but Eve had fixed it.

  Eve stayed at the window, glancing out more than she watched those inside.

  He finished, and she took his plate. “Can we go for a walk?”

  “Sure.” He knew he sounded uncertain.

  “We’ve been telling her all day she should fix whatever was wrong yesterday,” Ma said.

  “So, run along and be nice to her,” Aunt Alice added.

  “I’m always nice.” He grabbed his hat and followed Eve outside.

  “Be careful,” Ma called.

  He wondered if she meant to warn him against another argument with Eve.

  Eve waited until they had crossed to the barn and sat on the same grassy spot as yesterday. “Pa brought out news.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “A robbery in town.”

  He jerked back to stare at her as she told him the details.

  “He gave me a gun to protect myself and the ladies.” She pulled a derringer from her pocket.

  Shock and disbelief washed through him. “Do you even know how to use that thing?”

  “Pa made all us girls learn how.” She put it back in her pocket. “I take it you didn’t find anyone.” She shivered. “Ever since Pa left I have prayed you wouldn’t unexpectedly ride into the midst of those evil men.”

  Despite the danger lurking about them, he smiled. “You were worried about me? How nice.” His voice lowered, caught by the wish he had admitted a short time ago. “There was a time I thought you would be waiting for me at the end of every day just as you were today.” He hadn’t intended to tell her that.

  But then, he hadn’t told her two years ago either. How was she supposed to know that she was part of his dreams and plans back then when he neglected to inform her?

  “I’m glad you’re home safe and sound.”

  “That’s nice.” No reason he should wish for more response from her. Nor could he say what he thought it might sound like. “I won’t leave again until we hear that those men have been apprehended.”

  “Let’s pray it is soon.”

  “For sure.” He shifted so he could see the back of house. “Is the front door closed?”

  “Closed and barred.”

  “What do Ma and Aunt Alice know?” Surely, they wondered at closing out the cool evening air.

  “I had to say something, so I told them we’d found evidence someone had been lurking about.”

  “Were they upset?”

  “A little at first, and then they asked a dozen or more questions. Had I seen anyone? What had the person or persons taken? I could only tell them that food was missing, then they had their opinion on that. ‘Some poor soul lost and hungry,” was Alice’s guess. ‘We ought to be charitable,’ your ma said.

  “And then they decided they would watch for the intruder and invite him in for a meal.” Eve sighed.

  He shook his head in disbelief. “And you let them believe they were in no real danger?”

  “Would you have me frighten them?”

  He considered the question. “No. I think you handled it well.”

  “Why thank you, kind sir.” She pulled her knees to her chest, keeping her skirts firmly tucked around her legs, and studied the scene before them. “I can’t tell you how many times today I was certain I saw something lurking in the shadows.” She turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Don’t mock me and call me afraid. There is danger out there. We both know it.”

  “I’m not going to mock, because I’ve been the same way. Every shadow, every fluttering leaf, makes me think it’s someone.” He caught a lock of her dark hair where it hung loose from the braid she had pinned in a coil at the nape of her neck. “I used to like playing with your hair. Do you remember that?” Was that husky voice really coming from his mouth?

  She kept her cheek resting on her knees. “I remember. You once told me you wished you could see my hair free and falling down my back.”

  The air around them shimmered with the pink rays of the dipping sun.

  When he’d said that, she’d undone her hair, ran her fingers through the long strands, and let it fall down her back in all its glorious beauty. “I’ll never forget it. Is it still as long?”

  “Probably a little longer. I only trim the ends.”

  He wrapped the free strand around his finger, tugging gently. Only it was not her that moved closer. It was him. He lowered his head, searching her eyes for a remnant of that time in the past when he could hardly endure the hours they were apart.

  “I wanted you to come with me,” he whispered.

  She held his gaze a moment longer than sat up and looked away. “And yet you left.”

  “You said you didn’t want to come. You couldn’t leave your family.”

  “If you recall I added that I needed time to think about it.”

  “I don’t remember that.”

  “I think…” She spoke slowly, softly. “You expected me to say no. Perhaps you thought I was like that Landers girl.”

  “She chose her father’s opinion and her family’s status over me.”

  “Have you ever considered that her behavior says more about her than it does about you?”

  He sat up straight. “No, I never did.”

  “Then perhaps it’s time you should.” She got to her feet. “I need to get back.”

  He walked with her. Was she right? Had he let the Landers girl’s opinion mean more than it should?

  Did it have anything to do with how he’d reacted to Eve’s answer to his proposal to marry him?

  Chapter 9

  Eve kept her emotions under control until she’d helped the ladies into bed and until she lay on her own borrowed bed. And then they burst forth in a wild torrent.

  Fear at the danger perhaps only a few feet from their door brought a flood of tears. Relief that Cole was home safe and sound brought more tears. And then the thought of him touching her hair and talking about those tender moments of two years ago about choked her. She’d thought herself in love and then when he left she’d convinced herself she wasn’t. And now, his touch, his confession of how he’d been hurt by the Landers, and then saying he dreamed of her welcoming him home every day…it left her drowning in tears and confusion.

  She needed comfort and guidance and knew only two places to get them. Her family, wh
o were out of reach, and her Bible, but it was too dark to read, and she would not light a lamp and draw attention to the house should anyone be hanging around.

  Instead, she prayed. Lord God, help me keep a clear head. Help me not be ruled by emotions that could be false. Most of all, keep us all safe. Victoria and Reese too.

  After some time, she fell asleep and then woke as dawn cast faint fingers of color across the sky. She dressed and tiptoed from her room to start breakfast. Moving as quietly as she could, she got the fire going and had just put a pot of coffee on to boil when Cole slipped from his room.

  She held her fingers to her lips and pointed toward the middle room to inform him his mother and aunt were still asleep.

  He nodded and went from window to window to peer out.

  She grinned, having done the same thing. Of course, every shadow seemed to harbor danger, but only for a moment before she realized the only danger was in her imagination.

  Except for the knowledge that robbers were out there. She assumed Pa or someone would let them know when the men were under lock and key.

  Cole came to the stove. “Is the coffee ready?” he whispered.

  “Not quite.”

  He studied her. She had not taken time to put her hair up, simply braided it quickly and left it hanging down her back. He lifted the braid, held it a moment, and then let it drop.

  Her cheeks burned with heat and not from the stove. She wouldn’t admit to herself that she had purposely left her hair like that, hoping he’d admire it, wishing they could recapture the feelings they’d once had.

  The coffee boiled and sputtered, and she pulled it away from the heat with her hand protected by a thick pad of toweling.

  He hurried to get a cup, and she filled it for him. He didn’t sit at the table to drink it but stayed at her side, his shoulder brushing hers. Was it intentional? How many times had he purposely done that in the past? Smiling at her as he ever so slightly pressed against her arm. She’d smile and press back. They’d both enjoyed the little game, though neither of them had said so. They hadn’t needed to. Her throat constricted. How could they have been so close to each other and yet know each other so poorly?

  “Eve,” Alice called. “Can you help us?”

  As disappointed as she was relieved, Eve left Cole and went to help the ladies.

  When she returned to the kitchen, he sat at the table, staring at his cup, lost in thought.

  Nancy wheeled to the window by the front door, Alice right behind her.

  “Has our visitor made his presence known?” Alice asked.

  Cole jerked from his thoughts. “No, he, or they, have not.”

  “They. Ooh.” Alice shivered with delight at the thought.

  Eve glanced at Cole. His eyes met hers, and he rolled his. She stifled a laugh.

  “Tell me what you see,” Nancy said to Alice. “I can only see down the laneway.”

  Alice sighed. “There’s nothing unusual out there.” She turned to study Eve and Cole. “You’re not joshing us, are you? All those months in the boardinghouse have left us longing for a little excitement. Isn’t that so, Nance?”

  “So true. The most excitement we had in all that time was when old Mr. Collins fell down the stairs and knocked himself out. Had everyone in a flap. Mr. Jones declared him dead and rushed out for the undertaker. Mrs. Bond wailed and covered her face with her apron. ‘No one will ever stay here again once they learn someone died here.’ A young lady who was there for a few days swooned, making Mrs. Bond cry louder. Then, low and behold, Mr. Collins sat up, rubbed his head, and said, ‘Why is she bawling?’ meaning Mrs. Bond.”

  The ladies laughed together.

  Cole rolled his eyes again and Eve shared a delicious flash of amusement with him.

  Eve jerked away before he could read more into the look than she meant. She turned her attention to preparing breakfast, her eyes going often to the window in the kitchen. She noticed Cole angled his chair so he could see out the window by the table.

  As they ate breakfast, Nancy reminded everyone it was Sunday. “I’d like to go to church,” she said. “Especially now that I know Preacher Kinsley is here. I always did enjoy his sermons.”

  “Sorry, Ma. We aren’t going today.”

  Eve felt the two women building up a protest. “Pa will understand if we can’t make it.”

  “But we could. We have lots of time to get ready. Cole simply has to go get that team of horses in the pasture out there and hitch them to the wagon.” Nancy made it sound as if she would accept no excuse.

  “Ma, I’m not leaving the place unguarded while people are stealing things.”

  Nancy and Alice looked at each other. They nodded, then sat back with tiny smiles.

  “Very well, if you think that’s best,” Nancy said.

  Eve studied them. What were they up to? But then, how much trouble could they get into on the ranch?

  After the meal was cleaned up, the ladies went to their bedroom. They laughed and whispered together.

  Cole had gone to the door, watching for any unusual activity. He saw Eve was done in the kitchen. “Come outside with me?”

  She glanced toward the middle bedroom. “Are they up to something?”

  He shrugged. “Probably, but there’s no harm in letting them have their fun.”

  She joined him on the veranda, and they both studied their surroundings. “There’s a spot by the garden where you can see everything but the front of the house.”

  They ambled that direction, stopping at the corner of the garden. He looked around. “It does give me a clear view of most places.” He studied the barn, then indicated they should sit on the grass.

  White clouds billowed in the sky. Birds called from the trees. It was deceptively peaceful. Eve tried to relax but failed.

  Perhaps talking would help. “Tell me what it was like at the gold camps.”

  He plucked a blade of grass and ran his thumbnail down the length. “For the most part it was dirty and crude. It amazed me to learn how cruel men could be to each other. The only reason I remained was because I had a goal. As much as possible, I stayed away from others, especially troublemakers.”

  “It sounds lonely.”

  “It was. Every night I—” He shook his head.

  “You what?” she prompted.

  He kept his gaze on the distant horizon. He seemed to have forgotten her.

  She touched his arm. “Cole, what did you do every night?”

  He shook himself and slowly brought his gaze to her. His pupils were dark and bottomless and searching as if needing something she could give.

  She widened her eyes so as not to blink. Whatever he needed, wanted, sought, she hoped he would find it. Drawn by the hunger in his eyes, she brushed her knuckles across his cheek. “Tell me.”

  He caught her hand and held it in his much bigger one.

  She could not help but remember how many times in the past he’d held her hand, how safe and secure it made her feel.

  His gaze shifted from one eye to the other and then searched her face.

  She felt his look like a caress.

  He cleared his throat. “Every night I thought of you.” Every word was a gentle whisper.

  “Me?” How could that be? He’d left like he didn’t care. He hadn’t bothered to contact her once in those two years. “I didn’t know if you were alive or dead.”

  “Did it matter to you?”

  “Of course it did. We had something.” She sucked in a strengthening breath. “Or at least I thought we did. Seems I was mistaken.”

  “You weren’t mistaken.”

  She pushed away. “Cole, we can’t go back and undo what happened. You believed something about me that wasn’t true. You weren’t willing to wait one day for me. You left without a word. You don’t do that to someone you say you care about.”

  Cole leaned his forehead to his knees. Had he been so wrong? If so, how could he expect her to ever believe him? Nor was he sure he totally beli
eved her. It was easy this far down the road to make it seem like she would have gone with him.

  But he wasn’t mistaken in thinking she’d almost swooned when he’d mentioned leaving Verdun—and her family.

  He must not let this conversation distract him from watching for intruders. He lifted his head to study the land before him.

  Eve stood to one side, her arms crossed, her expression far from welcoming.

  How could he make her understand? Especially when he didn’t? “The one thing I want in marriage is a woman who will love me above all others whether I live in a cave in the mountains or a fine estate. Someone who is willing to embrace change and risk because of her love for me.”

  His words fell into a pit of silence.

  She finally spoke. “The opportunity you’ve been waiting for your whole life.”

  “Sorry. I don’t understand.”

  She shook herself. “It’s just something Pa said.”

  Aunt Alice came to the doorway. “Eve, Cole, could you come help us?”

  Cole pushed to his feet and accompanied Eve back to the house.

  “We need one of the crates.” Aunt Alice directed them to Eve’s bedroom where Ma waited.

  He tried not to look around and see bits and pieces of Eve, but his gaze was caught by the sight of a brush and mirror on the washstand. And a Bible on the little table by the bed.

  Was it the same Bible they had shared in church as Eve’s father preached? His heart clenched. They had seemed to be so in tune as they talked about the sermon and read the Bible together. Had it been only a dream, or had he tossed it away too quickly? Like she said, maybe he’d been too willing to expect rejection.

  “We need to find the crate that has my early stories in it,” Ma said.

  Cole groaned.

  Ma wagged her finger at him. “Now don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy them.”

  “I won’t deny I enjoyed them when I was knee high to a tadpole.”

  Aunt Alice sidled up to Eve. “You will love hearing them. They’re stories Nancy wrote about Cole when he was young.”