Vote Then Read: Volume I

by Carly Phillips

  “Engine Fifty-Five,” a dispatcher comes in over the radio.

  Big Gus pulls the radio down to his mouth, pressing the button.

  “Another call. A warehouse on…” My mind drifts with the word warehouse.

  Trevor pales across from me, his eyes finding no serenity at the kid jumping up and down on the sidewalk. He was there that night. Being a newbie, he was only able to assist in hose preparation. Tonight, he’ll be in on the action.

  My LT turns to us from the front, his eyes finding mine.

  “They’re calling in other engines for back up. It’s a big one boys.”

  As we back up onto the streets of Chicago, another set of guys head to the ladder truck, climbing in. The ladder truck hasn’t been used since that night and all of us in the cab of this truck know it.

  Fuck, uneasiness unsettles my stomach as the truck sirens blare down the street. It’s a bad omen when you have to go into a call with a monkey on your back like this. I try to shake it off as we whip through traffic, but it’s impossible.

  Ten minutes later, the thick, dark smoke billows out into the blue sky and we’ve arrived at our destination. The ladder truck goes first, positioning itself to spray down into the structure.

  At three stories, this one is bigger than the one six months ago.

  My lieutenant jumps out, as we all do, the physical aspects of the job second nature by now. It’s putting the mental mind fuck aside to function as the team we’re trained to, that’s the challenge.

  A car is parked in front of the fire hydrant, so Trevor breaks one window and I the other as I pass him the hose to hook up. The car alarm joins the chorus of fire trucks approaching the scene.

  “Bianco!” Lieutenant waves me over. “You and Conley handle hose.”

  I nod to Trevor Conley who looks like he’s about to puke in the middle of the street.

  I grab the hose, put on my helmet and button my jacket up.

  We head up the sidewalk, following the other fighters with axes to break down anything that blocks our way.

  All that’s on my mind is Madison. The way her eyelashes flutter when I kiss her good morning. How her body seeks mine, her arms and legs anchoring my body down in bed like she’s afraid I’ll disappear.

  The heat of the flames hits my face, and I switch the hose on, cementing my legs to keep control of the water, spraying down the uncontrollable rager in front of me. I’m fighting the fire physically but my mind wanders to her.

  I remember two mornings ago when I woke up to her hands sliding down the waistband of my boxer briefs.

  How her heated gaze stayed on me while her tongue licked up my length and she settled between my legs.

  Her soft hair wrapped around my fingers as I rocked into her mouth. The tension that stiffened my legs as my balls drew up while her soft hands massaged them.

  The name Madison falling from my lips while the morning light flowed into my bedroom.

  The warmth of her body as she slides up to meet me.

  The way I tasted on her tongue.

  Her giggle as I flipped her over and returned her good morning wake-up call.

  I never wanted to leave that room.

  “BIANCO!” Trevor yells and I wake up from my daydream to hit the flames about to melt our boots on the floor. “It’s everywhere, man!” Fear laces every word.

  It takes us a while but when the front room is clear, we head upstairs while another team covers the first floor.

  “Just keep the hose firm in your grip. It will be over before you know it.” I say to him.

  “Second floor is practically nonexistent,” another firefighter says over our line. “Need another hose ASAP.”

  “Coming,” I say, increasing my speed.

  Trevor keeps up and we find two guys outside a door, one with an axe in his hand.

  “One, two, three.” The guy beats it down and we all stay on the side to see what kind of flames will emerge.

  When it’s clear, me and Trevor head in, spraying down the rapid rupture of flames climbing the walls. Again, as I extinguish the hungry beast, Madison enters my mind once again.

  Last week when she went over to my mom’s and they discussed options to expand their kitchen. A ventilation system that would ensure it did not get so hot. She even suggested a double oven. The call from my mom after her visit, proud that I found such a keeper.

  That’s exactly what she is, a keeper and I have to make sure she doesn’t slip away.

  From room to room, we combat the fire, making ground and all I want is for this to be over so I can see Madison. I’ll call her as soon as I get back and ask her to come to the station just so I can hold her in my arms.

  We break down another door, waiting for the flames to emerge before we spray it down and enter. We’ve already done this more times than I can count but based on the other rooms I wasn’t prepared for the flames to cover every surface like an out of control vein on steroids. Within seconds, every surface around us was covered.

  “What do we do?” Trevor asks as I try to spray each corner, only to have it covered by fire again immediately. The flames aren’t going out and panic starts to bubble in my throat. “It’s closing in on us, Mauro. What do we do?” Trevor is in a full panic.

  “Conley! Bianco! You need to get out. It’s way too dangerous. We’re going to have to fight it from the outside only!” the lieutenant shouts in my ear.

  I turn around for a second to signal to Conley for us to find some way out of this, but he’s as baffled as me. “We’ve got nowhere to go. We’re caged.”

  “Find a way, goddamn it. Find a fucking way, Bianco!”

  My eyes search, spraying the hose in all different directions trying to get enough control of the fire to allow us a moment to escape. It feels hopeless as I watch the water-sprayed wood feed the fire down the path we came.

  “We have no choice. We have to go forward to get out.”

  “We’ll never survive,” Trevor says behind me.

  “Look behind you, Conley, we’ll never survive that way. We have no choice.” Moving forward, the heat becomes almost unbearable.

  “If you live and I die, tell Ariel I love her. Tell her I’m there with her when the baby is born. There’s a letter in my locker, in case anything like this happens. Give it to her.”

  I don’t want to hear this shit because I’ve never told the woman I love that I love her. I’ve been too chicken shit in case she doesn’t feel the same way about me yet.

  “I will, but we’re getting out of here, you hear me?”

  “Watch out!” Conley yells and a wall falls down to the right of us, sending embers in all directions.

  I have to get it together, but visions of Madison at my funeral plague me as we search for escape. Visions of the flag draped over my coffin and her walking behind the truck assault my mind as each room brightens with more intense flames.

  She’d never know how much I love her. If I get out this, I’m telling her, to hell with the consequences.

  “BIANCO!” Conley bellows and this time I have no time to react.

  32

  Madison

  “A firefighter from Engine Fifty-Five has been taken to hospital,” the anchor on the news channel says.

  I stare at my phone, wishing, pleading, praying that it will ring.

  “The fire is finally out, but it took a lot of resources and crews to accomplish. Many in charge are comparing it to the fire six months ago that took the life of Firefighter Hunter Zaxby.”

  Nope. I’m not waiting.

  I grab my purse and my keys, not caring that I’m in my pajamas.

  Racing over to the fire station is scarier than when I checked up on Mauro the first time. I’m so much more invested in our future now. Which I’m not sure I realized until this moment. It always takes something big like this, right? How fucking stupid.

  Pulling up, I park on a side street and head up the sidewalk, with each footstep unsure of my decision, but he’s my boyfriend, and I
need to know he’s okay.

  I round the corner and the truck pulls in, some of the guys hopping out, hugging the women waiting for them. Mumblings of I love you and I was so worried can be heard coming from the women while the men give them assurances of how they were safe and had the fire beat the entire time.

  I smile at the man with soot all over his face, cradling his wife’s stomach, relief etched in his face.

  “They were trapped and couldn’t get out,” one man says to his wife. “The ambulance took him before I saw anything. They called his brother.”

  My heart stops beating and blood rushes in my ears.

  Oh my God, it was Mauro. They called Cristian or Luca, I know it.

  Why would they not call me?

  Because they don’t have my number.

  “Excuse me?” I approach the man, needing to know. “The injured firefighter?”

  The big man raises his eyebrows and purses his lips like he’s not going to tell me shit.

  “Do you know if Mauro Bianco is back yet?” I ask.

  “MAURO!” a woman’s voice screeches from behind me.

  I turn to see Cailin running across two lanes of traffic, not stopping, heading right to the other side of the truck.

  “He’s right there, ma’am,” the guy says to my back and then continues his conversation about whoever the injured firefighter is.

  My eyes are glued to the end of the truck, watching Mauro emerge and drop his gear, opening his arms to Cailin. Burrowing his head into her neck, he picks her up like a man coming home from war.

  My mouth hangs open and tears prick my eyes.

  Mauro places her back on her feet and she looks into his eyes, her hands on his face, his shoulders, like she’s trying to make sure he’s real. It’s like I’m having an out of body experience or peering into an intimate moment between lovers.

  Nausea rumbles in my stomach.

  She raises on her tiptoes, keeping his head firmly between her hands.

  I watch the scene unfold and I can’t look away even though it’s torture and I know I’ll never be able to clear the visual out of my head.

  Their lips meet and I close my eyes, tears spilling down my cheeks. The roller coaster of emotions my body went through in the last five minutes too much to deal with.

  Turning around, I walk away.

  “Hey, Madison, right?” One of the guys from earlier today reaches out to me. “Your guy was quite the hero today. He saved my ass.”

  I nod. His pregnant wife looks at me with sympathy, probably because I’m crying and walking away from the scene. She obviously sees something her husband doesn’t.

  “I’m glad you’re safe,” I say and step away.

  “Wait. I’m sure he’ll want to see you.” His hand lands on my forearm, but his wife hits his arm and he turns to see what she’s talking about. “Oh.”

  Sympathy that matches his wife’s tells me I don’t need a second look.

  Instead, I round the corner of the street and when I get into the safety of my car, I down the entire bag of M&Ms in my purse, before ripping the wrapper into small pieces. I never want to see those initials again.

  33

  Mauro

  “Cailin!” I push her shoulders and remove her hands from my cheeks. “What are you doing?”

  She falls back to her heels, her cheeks red with embarrassment.

  “I’m just so happy you’re okay and in one piece. They kept comparing it to the fire, and Hunter’s name and picture were all over the news again. I had to make sure you were okay.”

  I blow out a breath.

  “We need to talk.” I shake my head, staring down at the ground.

  “Maybe I got too carried away, but I’m just so relieved.” She heaves for breath and her mascara is trailing in waves down her cheeks.

  “I get that, but you know I’m with Madison.”

  The other guys with their significant others are lingering around and my eyes do a quick scan of the area. No sign of Madison. I’d hoped she’d see the news and come.

  “I know,” Cailin says in a small voice.

  “Do you?” I take her by the hand, pulling her to the side of the building away from prying eyes.

  “I do,” she says with her back against the wall.

  “I think you’re transferring your feelings for Hunter on to me or something.”

  She shakes her head and rubs her face with her hands. “I just don’t want to be alone. It’s so hard, Mauro. Raising Devin, going to bed alone every night.”

  I hug her. “I know. But I’m not going to take his place. My heart isn’t up for grabs.”

  She nods into the crook of my neck, sobs wracking her body.

  As I’m consoling her, I look off onto the road and spot Madison’s car parked down the street. It can’t be her, can it?

  “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

  Cailin keeps her head down, tears continuing down her face as I jog down the street.

  Approaching the small SUV, I figure it’s a car similar to, but not hers, because if she’s here, why isn’t she in my arms?

  When I bend over and look through the window, her head is on the steering wheel, the keys in her hands, resting in her lap.

  “Fuck,” I murmur, looking back at Cailin and then at my girl.

  She came. I smile at the fact that she came to make sure I was okay.

  My knock on her window startles her and she straightens her back.

  “Madison, what’s wrong?” I ask.

  She doesn’t take time to wipe her own tears but puts the keys in the ignition.

  My hand tries to open up the passenger door, but it’s locked. She quickly puts the car in reverse to get out of the parallel parking spot. I bang on the window. “Madison!”

  She ignores me, her eyes set on her task of getting the fuck away from me.

  Realization makes my gut clench and panic tightens my throat.

  “It’s not what it looks like. Let me explain. Don’t leave!” I bang on the window again.

  She reverses again, the asshole in front of her way too close to give her any room. Of course, I’m thanking that asshole as I round the hood of her car and plead through the window.

  “Come on Madison. I promise you it isn’t what you’re assuming. Hear me out.” Our eyes meet and she stills.

  “What are you doing, Mauro?” Cailin approaches the car.

  I place my hand up in the air. “Stop.”

  “Is that Maddie?” she asks, continuing to walk toward us.

  Hasn’t she caused enough trouble tonight?

  Madison catches me looking away and turns her head, looking out her side mirror.

  A fresh set of tears fall and she moves not caring if she hits me or not.

  “FUCK!” I yell as she pulls out of the spot and her taillights round the corner.

  “Did she see us?” Cailin asks.

  “No, she always drives away from me like that. What do you think?”

  From the tone of my voice anyone else would know to leave me the fuck alone, but Cailin follows me as I jog back to the firehouse.

  “I’m sick and going home,” I say to my lieutenant passing him by.

  “No, you’re not. We have to unpack the truck, get it ready in case we’re going back out. You’re on shift until the morning.” He follows me. “Oh, hello, Cailin.”

  She stops him long enough for me to strip out of my gear and head upstairs to grab my keys and phone.

  “Bianco, you can’t leave,” the lieutenant says.

  “Then fire me.”

  I run out of the fire station down the street with Cailin yelling my name behind me.

  I don’t give a shit about any of it. I just need Madison to understand.

  I call her, not surprised when it goes to voicemail over and over again. I leave pleading messages for her to listen to me and explain that it was a one-way kiss.

  What seems like a lifetime later, my tires squeal to a stop outside her house and I jog up the
steps, ringing the doorbell over and over again until it finally swings open.

  I instinctively cover my nuts.

  “Lauren.”

  No smile this time around which means Madison is home.

  “You are such an asshole. I trusted you and here you’re having an affair with your partner’s widow? You sick motherfucker. Do you enjoy torturing Madison?” She steps out onto the porch and my gaze flickers past her, wondering how I can get around her.

  “It’s all a misunderstanding.”

  “Were your lips on hers?” she asks, her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised in question.

  “For a millisecond until I threw her off me. Where is she? I need to speak with her.” I look into the house again and still see no sign of Madison.

  “Nope. You’re not going near her again. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, Bianco and you fucked it up.” She turns her back to me, but I slide by her, shutting and locking the door behind me.

  She is going to have my nuts, I know that as I hear her banging and yelling my name, but I’ll deal with that later.

  Madison isn’t in the family room, or the kitchen, so I run upstairs, finding her bedroom door shut. I knock.

  “Just give me tonight, Lauren, okay? We can talk in the morning.”

  I try the knob and it’s locked. Fuck.

  “I’m serious, I just can’t tonight. Please understand.”

  No fucking way I’m letting her go a whole night thinking I’d hurt her like that.

  I reach up on top of the door and retrieve the key she was adamant about us keeping on the ledges of all the doorframes at our flip house.

  Trying to be quiet so she can’t put a dresser in front of the door, I insert the key into the lock and turn until the click sounds.

  The pounding on the outside door and ringing doorbell sounds below, Lauren voicing all the ways she’s going to torture me when she gets her hands on me.

  When I open the door, Madison is on her bed, a pillow tucked in her lap.

  “Madison?” I ask, walking in and shutting and locking the door just in case Lauren gets into the house.

  “If you’re here, who’s knocking?” she asks, startled to see me.