Beyond Uranus

by Stewart Bruce & Nigel Moreland

  “Have you seen the size of his tackle?” asked Gary “If mine was that big I’d stand like that with a smile on my face.”

  “I see what you mean.” I agreed and then I came across a photo of Claire. “Hey, that’s not fair, she’s not naked.”

  “Women are allowed to keep their bra and knickers on.”

  “Why?”

  “You can cup all your bits with one hand and still get changed. Women have too many bits to cover.”

  When I had finished looking at all the photos Gary gave a signal to Russell and the original wall started to rise out of the floor to cover all the photos of the naked pilots. I turned around and Claire was stood in front of me.

  “You knew about this the other night didn’t you?” I accused.

  “Yes of course. That’s why I told you I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

  “You’ve seen me naked now and that’s not fair. I demand that we are even on the naked thing.”

  “We have plenty of time for that.”

  “Are you flirting with me?”

  Claire said, “No, if I was flirting with you I’d be doing this as well.” She suddenly realised that she was stroking my arm, stopped and started blushing. “Come on let’s go and get a drink.”

  I spent the rest of the evening at Claire’s side chatting with the small number of pilots who had been invited. At about ten o’clock we all went our separate ways except for Claire who came back to my place for a chat. At twelve Claire left so I could get some sleep ready for my first day on the job as a pilot.

  Chapter 7 - On the Job

  I walked into Simon’s office at noon and there were already three people sat opposite Simon. Claire was in the end seat with Amelia sat in the middle. Amelia was in her early twenties, slim with light blonde hair that curled into ringlets. The man, whose name I couldn’t remember, looked like he was in his thirties. He wore large glasses with an aviator type rim and had straight hair that ended at his shoulders. It was a look that was popular in the eighties but wasn’t quite a full mullet. I wondered for a second why Claire didn’t tell me she was going to be here and then Simon held his hand out to an empty seat and said “Have a seat Roy and I’ll introduce you to the team you will be working with for the next three days. This is Peter Vosper and I think you already know Amelia Rose and Claire Seabright.”

  “Hi everybody,” I said and they all replied.

  Simon continued “Roy I want you to meet Simon in bay nineteen. We’ve given you a new ship similar to the one you did your training in. Simon will introduce you to your ground crew. I then want you to meet up with your team who will be ten thousand kilometres from the station. Any questions?” He waited a few seconds, “Good, see you all at nine tonight for a debriefing.”

  We all strolled together towards the hangar. It occurred to me that I did remember Peter from the reception and that he had a degree in astrophysics. As we approached the bay I said to Claire “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be on the team.”

  “Are you disappointed?”

  “No not in the least, I am really pleased about it.”

  “Well the thing is I wasn’t supposed to be on this team but I convinced Simon this morning that it would be a good idea because I know you better than anyone else and could help you adjust to your new job.”

  “Thanks Claire I really appreciate this and it’ll be nice having you help me.”

  We had arrived at the installation “That’s Ok Roy. Go and talk to Simon and your ground crew and we’ll see you at the rendezvous point later.”

  As we entered the doors we all went off in different directions. I grabbed a transport scooter and headed towards bay nineteen. When I got there Simon the engineer was waiting with four people. The ship was identical to the one I had practiced with and if Simon hadn’t told me it was a new ship I would have never have known.

  “Hi Simon.”

  “Hello. I’m going to introduce you to your ground crew. These four individuals are responsible for keeping your ship running at peak efficiency. Keep your ground crew happy and they will keep your ship running tip-top forever.”

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  “The ship is yours and yours alone, it won’t be used by any other pilots. It is similar to the one you practiced in but it is new, so look after it.”

  “What’s she called Simon?”

  “She?”

  “Yes she and her name?”

  “Name?”

  “She has got to have a name surely? You name all the ships don’t you?”

  “No, just like we don’t name our computers.”

  “Oh, well I’m going to name her.”

  “Really? What name will you give the ship?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve only thought about it.”

  “You don’t have to name everything Roy. Let me introduce you to the ground crew. This is Mark Broadbent. He is responsible for all electrics and the drive system checks.”

  “Hi Mark.”

  “Hello sir.”

  “Oh God, not this again. Can I say to you all before we start if any of you call me sir I’m going to be seriously pissed off. Will you please call me Roy?”

  “Hello Roy.” said Mark.

  “Good. Sorry Simon, carry on.”

  Simon continued “This is David Williams although he prefers to be called Dai. He’s responsible for the interior which means he keeps it all cleaned and sorts out all the food.”

  “Food?”

  “Yes. You won’t be coming back to the station for breaks it’ll be eaten on the job. And finally this is Jamie Evans and Michelle Morley and they are your external crew. They will make sure your hull is in the very best condition.”

  “Hi guys. If you two are responsible for the exterior then perhaps you could put the name of my ship on the hull?”

  “We could, but we’d have to put it on one of the surfaces that doesn’t come onto contact with anything during Hyper Travel,” said Jamie, pointing to a place behind the cockpit. “We could place it here at the back of the cockpit housing?”

  “What about on the middle tube section?”

  “Yes, I suppose we could do it there as well. Have you any ideas at all about a name.”

  “None, I’ve only this minute thought of it.”

  “Can I make a plea?” interrupted Michelle. “Don’t call it after any famous television or movie spaceships like Enterprise, Dark Star, The Event Horizon etcetera.”

  “Serenity,” added Jamie.

  “Or The Millenium Falcon,” continued Michelle. “Make it more personal. Call it after an old girl friend or a movie actress or something related to space.”

  I stood for a moment with the ground crew and Simon looking at me. This was going to be spur of the moment stuff rather than taking my time and thinking about a name like I did with Adams.

  “I’ve got it,” I eventually broke the silence, “I’m going to call her Stella.”

  “That’s quite thoughtful Roy,” said Simon. “We’re on a space ship in deep space and you’re going to call your ship that can travel across the galaxy Stellar. I suppose you could also caller her Interstellar as well. I quite impressed at the deep thought gone into the name and the connection between a girl’s name and the vastness of space.”

  “That’s not why I’m calling her Stella Simon and guys it’s S-T-E-L-L-A, without an ‘R’ on the end.”

  Simon looked puzzled for a few moments and then Dai addressed me “You have emergency rations for three weeks mun, and I’ve put some lush food and drink on for today like. If you tell me what you want to eat and drink I can prepare food for each day boyo.” He pulled out a pencil and pad and stood there like a waiter waiting.

  “I like pizza...”

  “Very good.”

  “...and curry...”

  “Lush.”

  “...and pizza...”

  “Yes...”

  “...and curry...”

  “...go on.”

&n
bsp; “...and pizza...”

  “Yes.”

  “...and curry.”

  “So, pizza and curry is it?”

  “That’s about the long and short of it.”

  “What about vegetables?”

  “Put them on the pizza, curry them or cut them into strips and deep fry them.”

  “Like chips?”

  “Ooh, yes ta, but not too often.”

  “Have you talked to Doctor Philberts about your diet boyo?”

  “Yes, we had a conversation a couple of weeks ago and we decided I should expire at about ninety five years old rather than a hundred and fifteen.”

  “Don’t get me wrong boyo, pizza and curry are lush. I was only asking. What do you like to drink?”

  “Lager of course.”

  “Alcohol free lager?”

  “No, full fat, in your face, get pissed lager please.”

  “Sorry butty, I can’t do that.”

  “Only checking. Tea, white, two sugars please Dai. Look guys I’d really like to get to know you all better but I’m a bit short on time at the moment. Let’s meet up in Sam’s Bar in three or four days. What do you think?”

  “Oh God yes, I remember now,” said Michelle, “you came into Sam’s Bar. You’re a friend of Gary.”

  “No,” said Dai in astonishment.

  “Really?” said Mark. “A pilot in Sam’s Bar. That’s a first.”

  “What can I say,” I said. “They don’t do pizza in the Pilot’s Bar. I’ll see you all there in three or four days for pizza or curry. When can I get Stella painted on the side?”

  “We can do it before your next shift,” said Jamie. “Is there any font you prefer?”

  “A nice handwritten style like Lucida Calligraphy would be good.”

  I thanked the crew and Simon, entered the ship and walked the short distance to the cockpit. I got Adams to power up and navigate me to where the team were waiting about ten thousand kilometres away. When we arrived the other three ships were close together and pointing in various directions like derelict vessels in a shipping graveyard.

  “Patch me through to Claire please Adams.”

  “You are now connected.”

  Music was being played in her ship and a listened for a short while before saying anything. I could hear an orchestra playing a very pleasant but slightly sad melody. The orchestra stopped and a piano took over the tune. The piano part sounded very dramatic and after a few seconds the rest of the orchestra started playing again.

  “Hi Claire.”

  “Oh, hi Roy.”

  “What are you listening to?”

  “Mozart piano concerto number twenty. I love listening to him while looking out into space.”

  “Why classical music?”

  “I find I can listen to Mozart as background music whilst I do other things or sometimes I just like to listen to his pieces. I like all sorts of other styles but I find Mozart is the best when we’re hanging about in deep space.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  “We sit here and wait. There are quite a lot of days when that’s all we do.”

  “What do you do while you’re waiting?”

  “Talk, listen to songs, watch TV from home and play chess with my computer.”

  “Can you get TV out here?”

  “No problem, your computer will be able to patch it through for you using the station as a link.”

  “Have you ever thought about naming your computer?”

  “Not really. We’ve been together a long time but I’ve always called it computer and always referred to it as it rather than she.”

  “It’s female?”

  “Yes. Computers are assigned the same gender as the user. What made you decide to name yours?”

  “I’ve often called my computers names but Adams is the most incredible piece of technology I’ve ever used. I think he deserves a name and I think he’s sentient.”

  “No, that can’t be.”

  “Seriously, I believe he is. Have you ever thought of naming your ship?”

  “No, nobody names the vessels.”

  “Well actually I have decided name mine and the ground crew are going to paint it on before the next shift.”

  “Why name it?”

  “It’s a ship and they all should have names. Every science fiction film, television series or book has some sort of craft that has a name.”

  “OK so what name did you decide upon?”

  “Stella.”

  “That’s a beautiful name Roy but probably for all the wrong reasons knowing you.”

  I had a good chat to Claire for about an hour and then Peter and Amelia joined in. We had a long discussion about John, or Doctor Death as I now insisted on calling him, and about how he’d changed over the last two years.

  Peter said “I seriously think he is on the verge of a breakdown. However he had a medical check up last month and I guess Doctor Philberts must think he’s still fit for duty.”

  “You can hide symptoms,” said Amelia “It’s possible to appear completely sane to people like Doctor Philberts but still have metal health issues.”

  “I think he’s got issues with me,” I said and I told them about the incident in the bar after what he had called Gary.

  “I think he’s bluffing,” added Peter “I think he knows that if he made a complaint to Simon he would be in as much trouble.”

  “But it was a conversation between just the two of us. Nobody else heard it.”

  “Your computers will have heard,” said Amelia “They cannot alter the information and they will not lie about the events.”

  We had a four way chat for about another hour and then ended to have something to eat. I asked Adams where the food was stored and he open one of the video panels to reveal a cupboard. I looked inside and pulled out a couple of boxes and opened them up.

  “What the fuck is this Adams?”

  “It’s beef stroganoff with rice.”

  “It looks like somebody’s puked inside the box.”

  “You should try it. Apparently it’s a favourite among the other pilots.”

  I unclipped the fork attached to the side and picked some up with it. I licked a small part with the end of my tongue and then put the forkful into my mouth. “This is quite nice,” and started eating the rest. “This would be good on pizza.”

  “In the other box is apple crumble with custard. Do you think that will taste good on a pizza?”

  “I think you’ve mastered sarcasm Adams. I’m so proud of you.”

  After I’d eaten I thought I’d try out some of the entertainment.

  “What music do you have Adams?”

  “I have everything.”

  “What, everything?”

  “Everything that has been recorded and commercially released in any format.”

  “Do you have the nineteen ninety three album by ‘The Kidz Alright’?”

  “Yes. Would you like me to play it?”

  “No I can’t stand them I wanted to see if you had it. I was hoping that the station would have fitted a good taste filter and obliterated it from existence. What TV is available?”

  “Every terrestrial, satellite and cable television network is available. I can also tap into online film sites to give you all released films.”

  “What about the Internet?”

  “I have access to all the Internet but I don’t see why you would bother as the stations database is far superior to Earth’s Internet.”

  “Maybe I want to watch porn.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second and I certainly wouldn’t let you abuse my circuitry with such rubbish.”

  “What games do you have?”

  “Any game including all the usual games you play. Would you like a game?”

  I looked at the long range scanner which showed no sign of freighters. “I’d love a game.”

  One of the video panels in front of the console turned onto a screen that showed the game loading. An hour
later and I’d lost every game we played. “You’ve changed tactics. I can’t believe you’ve done that, I was on the verge of being able to beat you.”

  “I noticed that you changed tactics not long after we started playing to try and beat me and you were getting better. You were at the point of beating me so I thought it was time to improve my game to make it harder for you. If you’re finding it too hard we can stop playing.”

  “I don’t think so. Get another multiplayer game ready.”

  Several hours later and I was no closer to beating Adams. I had realised what he was doing though. He was also playing a stealth game. I hadn’t worked out where his favourite places for hiding were but as soon as I did I knew I could have a chance of winning.

  Adams paused the latest game we were playing “Claire wishes to communicate.”

  “OK put her on.”

  “Hi Roy it’s time to head on back.”

  “OK I’ll meet you back at the station hangar.”

  When we all arrived back we met up at the bay exit and walked up to Simon’s office. As there was nothing to report it was a very quick meeting. On our way out Claire said “How about we meet up in about forty five minutes after freshening up?”

  “Sounds great. Where would you like to go?”

  “I’m not sure?”

  “How about I get in touch with Gary and we go bowling.”

  “OK I’ll meet you at the bowling alley at ten.”

  On the way back to our apartments I contacted Gary who said he was free and would meet us there. At ten past ten we were playing our first game.

  The bowling alley turned out to be a popular venue. Almost all of the ten lanes were being used by multiple players. Most places on the station looked like they had been made from the recycled uniforms of storm troopers from Star Wars so it was always nice to find somewhere that didn’t have the white plastic look. Around the edge of the lanes were bight neon signs advertising various well known soft drinks. Behind us was a bar with wooden panelling and most of the soft drinks advertised in neon were available at the bar.

  During the first game it became very apparent that Claire excelled in bowling. The pins she didn’t hit on the first bowl she usually took out with the second. She had a massive smile on her face the whole match and was obviously taking great pleasure in thrashing Gary and I. After the first game we went and propped up the bar for a while.

  “Did you hear about Doctor Death?” I asked Gary

  “John D’Eath? Yea, Claire was talking to me this afternoon about it whilst she was on patrol. I wouldn’t let it worry you too much; I’ve been called worse things.”