He pressed a hand to my cheek. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve changed us both.”
What the heck did that mean? I couldn’t ask, because my mouth was occupied with his lips, as he gently kissed me.
“Daddy, I’m ready.” Mollie’s voice came from the condo.
He pulled away and smiled. “I’ve gotta go.”
I nodded and was grateful for it because my system was in overdrive. What was happening? Was he being different? Or was it just my longing for him that was making my thoughts and emotions go haywire.
I couldn’t figure it out, and it was maddening, I spent Sunday out on errands to avoid them. By Monday morning, when I arrived at my classroom, I’d gotten myself back in order. Will had always been clear about our relationship, and while he might have been acting a little different, that didn’t change the initial rules of our situation.
The day proceeded as normal. After lunch, Ms. Hatcher took the kids outside to work off energy, while I set up for our math lesson.
Mrs. Snyder entered my classroom. “Ms. Webb, how are you?”
I looked up from where I putting blocks on one of the tables. “Very good, Mrs. Snyder. Thank you.”
“I was hoping for a moment of your time. I see the children are outside.”
I nodded and looked toward the clock. “About ten more minutes.”
She sat down at one of the little tables, and I joined her, worry growing in my gut.
“I’m hearing wonderful things from parents about you.”
Oh, maybe this was a positive report. “Thank you. I’m really enjoying my class.”
“Excellent.” She stared at me for a moment, and unease grew in my gut again. “You do remember the rules I discussed when we hired you?”
Uh oh. “Yes, ma’am.”
“It has come to my attention that you’re spending time with Mollie Mathers’ father.”
I swallowed hard. I’m sure my expression gave away my guilt. “We’re neighbors.”
“So, Will Mathers didn’t kiss you, as Mollie has said?”
Mollie saw that?
“She’s told a few of her friends that you’re going to be her new mommy.”
I’d been panicking, and yet, the idea of being Mollie’s mommy thrilled me. “I…ah…” I didn’t know what to say.
“I like you, Ms. Webb. I think you’re a very good teacher and will have a long successful career.”
“Thank you.”
“That’s why I’m not firing you right now. But your relationship with Will Mathers has to stop. I know it seems harsh, and none of my business, but we’ve had problems from this sort of thing in the past.”
I knew this was a possibility. Hadn’t I been planning to end things with Will because I didn’t want to risk my job? Even so, my heart was breaking.
“I’m also going to move Mollie into Caroline Sims class—"
“What? No.” I finally found my voice.
“It’s for the best considering the situation.”
I shook my head. “It’s not Mollie’s fault. She’s come such a long way. Moving her at this time of year might cause her to withdraw again. I’ll end things with Will, but please, don’t take out my mistake on her.”
Mrs. Snyder studied me for a long moment. I could see why she was a good principal because it was all I could do not to squirm under her intense gaze. Finally, she nodded. “Very well. She can stay. But things must end with her father.”
My head bobbed up and down. “Yes. Of course. I’m sorry.”
After she left, I continued to sit. I wanted to cry. I could feel the tears gathering behind my eyes. But I heard Ms. Hatcher outside gathering the children to return to class. I forced myself to get it together. I stood and finished setting up for math, all the while, my heart was like a lead weight in my chest.
Chapter 14
Will
Yesterday, I didn’t see Ellie at all, and it made me fucking crazy. Apparently, I couldn’t go a day without seeing her beautiful smile, hearing her wonderful laugh, and yes, admiring her sexy body. But it was more than her body I craved. I realized that on Friday night when I made love to her. It was like there was an invisible string that tied my heart to hers. It fucking scared me to death, and at the same time, it excited me.
The problem was, I wasn’t sure how Ellie was feeling. I thought I saw emotion in her eyes as I stroked into her long and slow the other night. But when she let me fuck her tits, it felt a little bit like we were back to friends with benefits. Yes, I enjoyed it, but it didn’t quite have the emotional connection as I’d had when I took her slow.
Then, on the beach with her and Mollie, I felt like I’d come home. Like we were a unit. Mollie was only close to me and my parents, but she took to Ellie like they’d been lifelong friends. Ellie was so gentle and patient, but not patronizing to Mollie. When we walked on the beach, it felt so natural, so right to take her hand and complete the circuit that bound us three.
And then yesterday, she was nowhere to be found. Without Ellie, Mollie didn’t want to go to the beach, so we spent time at the pool, and later we drove out to my parent’s house for dinner. I went so far as to knock on Ellie’s door to see if she wanted to come with us. I shook my head that I was inviting a woman to meet my parents, and yet it felt like the thing I needed to do. It was something I wanted to do.
But she wasn’t home, so it was just Mollie and me at my parents. We were sitting in the backyard while my father grilled burgers and hotdogs, and my mother was sitting with me, watching Mollie play in the wading pool.
“What’s this I hear about you kissing Mollie’s teacher.” My mother quirked an amused brow at me.
My cheeks heated in embarrassment, but I decided to keep it honest. “I did. I didn’t know Mollie saw that.”
My mother turned her attention to me. I could see surprise and intrigue in her face. “So, this is serious?”
My heart raced, both in excitement and fear. “I…I like her. I want to see where things might go.”
My mother grinned and clasped her hands over her heart. “Oh, Will, I’m so happy for you.”
I lifted my hand to halt her. “It’s still new and I’m not sure how she feels about me.”
“Oh, come on! Who wouldn’t love you?”
Tiffany hadn’t. “Still. Just because I’m willing to have a relationship, it doesn’t mean it will go anywhere. Don’t get your hopes up.” But I could see her hopes were already up.
“You need to invite her over, Will. I know she must be wonderful because Mollie already loves her.”
I nodded. “She’s really helped Mollie come out of her shell.”
“Do you think she’d adopt her?”
My heart thumped hard in my chest. I hadn’t even thought about that. “We’re not anywhere close to that.”
A part of me didn’t see myself letting any woman adopt Mollie. Even if I ever got married, I wasn’t sure I could risk the legal issues that would arise if I allowed her to adopt Mollie and then something went wrong. At least Tiffany had made it easy for me. She left legal papers giving me all rights to Mollie, walked out, and never looked back.
“Well, your dad and I would like to meet her.”
I nodded. “Maybe. I’ll see.”
The next day, my mind was whirling with all the new emotion and possibilities, making it really difficult to work. All I could think about was being with Ellie. Asking her if she felt anything beyond friendship for me. And holy hell, wondering if she’d adopt Mollie if things took their logical course.
“I’m fucked.” I pushed away from my laptop and strode to the balcony to watch the ocean. The waves did their job, slowing my racing thoughts, calming my soul. I needed to focus on first things first. Would Ellie even be interested in a relationship beyond friendship and sex? I had to ask her - but how?
I went back inside and pulled out some paper to jot down ideas on how I could broach the subject. When I had a good idea, I ran to the store to pick up some items, and
then picked Mollie up from school. I asked her to draw a picture of us when we were on the beach, while I packed up a picnic dinner for the three of us. It might not be smart to include Mollie, but Mollie and I were a packaged deal.
I taped Mollie’s picture to Ellie’s door with a note to come and visit us on the beach. I hoped she came because the only way I’d been able to get Mollie to agree to a picnic on the beach was telling her Ellie would come.
Mollie and I found a spot on the beach and set up our blanket and basket of food. Mollie dug in the sand looking for shells, every now and then checking the water to make sure the waves didn’t get too close to us.
“When is Ms. Webb going to get here?”
“Soon, baby.” God, please, let Ellie come.
Mollie continued to dig and I grew more and more anxious. What if she did come? What was I going to say?
“Ms. Webb!” Mollie jumped up startling me. She ran and gave Ellie a hug.
I stood to welcome her. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Something was wrong.
“We made a picnic!” Mollie tugged on Ellie’s hand. “We got fish crackers and ‘ronis that look like fish too.” It hadn’t been easy to find macaroni noodles shaped like fished, but I did and made Ellie’s favorite macaroni and cheese from it.
“That sounds like so much fun.” Ellie let Mollie guide her to the blanket, but she hesitated before sitting.
“Everything okay?” I asked as I helped her down to the blanket.
She was non-committal as she sat.
We ate dinner, and Ellie was her usual self except not. She chatted with Mollie and talked with me, but there was something in her eyes that said something wasn’t right.
“I’m going to dig for more shells. Can I daddy? I ate all my dinner.”
“Yes. Don’t go far.” She took her pail and shovel and set up about ten feet from us. “She’s making progress. I guess I should be glad she’s timid. I think I’d be a nervous wreck if she was more daring.”
Ellie laughed, and yet there was sadness behind it.
I took her hand, but she flinched. I got a whoopsy feeling in my stomach that made me want to keep all my crazy feelings for her to myself.
“Will, we need to talk.”
With those words, everything inside me went cold. “That sounds ominous.”
She closed her eyes, and I could see she didn’t want to talk. But when she opened them, there was a determination in them. She swallowed. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” Of course, I knew what. But I’d been getting ready to lay my heart on the line, and before we could get started on something new, she was going to slash my heart from my chest.
She sighed. “I can’t be friends with benefits anymore.”
I frowned. Did that mean she could be more than friends?
Before I could find a way to ask without revealing too much of my heart, she said, “I do value your friendship, but my life has gotten complicated and I just can’t…” She trailed off like she couldn’t say the words.
“So, you’re ending things?” Anger and hurt burned in my gut.
“You said yourself that this was a no-strings-attached deal. I just…well…things have changed, and I can’t do this anymore.”
The hurt and anger simmered. I wanted to lash out. To make her explain. To beg her to rethink things. But Mollie was playing in the sand too close to us, and I was too pissed to trust myself not to do something crazy that would scare Mollie.
“I’m sorry.” She stood and looked down on me. I thought I saw tears, but it was hard to tell through the haze of anger. All I was able to do was stare at Ellie and wonder why I’d let another woman fuck me over.
Chapter 15
Ellie
I told myself it was annoyance I saw in his blue eyes as I did the hardest thing I’d ever done and end it with him. After all, he couldn’t be mad or hurt. He’d been clear from the beginning that our fling was NSA. He’d told Rick just a few days ago that he wasn’t serious about me, so that couldn’t be hurt or pain or even anger.
Of course, it wasn’t. He didn’t even try to stop me. He didn’t ask me to explain. He simply stared at me until I was unable to bear it and I walked away.
It was the right thing to do, I told myself over and over like a mantra. I needed to protect my job. There was no future for me with Will. Even if he ever did let a woman in his life, it wouldn’t be me. If he was going to fall for me, he would have done it already.
When the memory of him touching me so slowly and tenderly threatened to make me doubt, I went back to his vehemence to Rick. I’m not serious about her.
I’m not sure how I made it through that first night or even the next day, seeing Mollie in class. I wondered what, if anything, Will had told her. But Mollie acted her usual self, so he apparently didn’t say anything negative. But why would he? I was just another woman he banged. When he had the urge, he would have no problem finding another willing woman. I swallowed the hurt that rose at the thought of him touching another woman. Of another woman touching him.
I’d worried about running into him, but that was for naught as I didn’t see him the rest of the week. He and Mollie weren’t at the pool as usual when I got home. Our paths never crossed as we were coming or going. Was he avoiding me? Maybe, or maybe he was just busy. I knew he had a big project he wanted to finish to get the final part of the down payment he’d need on the home he wanted to buy. I supposed he wouldn’t buy the home he’d fucked me in, and then I wondered why not. It’s not like being with me had any real significance that he’d want to avoid the places we’d been.
I was a mess, and as the days went on, I wasn’t feeling any better. I began to second guess my decision. Could I have just told him about my work situation and then we could have waited until school was out? Was the ‘no dating parents’ rule only for parents of my students or all students at the school. I began to resent Mrs. Snyder. What business was it of hers who I was with?
“I heard you did it,” Angela said when she called me Friday night.
I was wallowing on my couch, drinking wine and wishing I had more ice cream because I’d eaten it all. I hadn’t called Angela because I knew she and Rick were back on track. “I did.”
“And…are you miserable?” She knew me so well.
“Yes. I don’t know what else I could have done though.”
“You were definitely between a rock and hard place.”
I had no response to that because it was true.
“Did he say anything? Did he even try to talk you out of it, or come up with some solution to fix it? Maybe you could wait until summer when school is out.”
“I didn’t get that far. I told him I couldn’t see him and he didn’t really say anything.”
“Nothing? That bastard. You’re better off without him, then. Even without your work situation, you don’t want to be with anyone who’s that detached. He was good to help you learn about sex, but now you deserve someone who’ll love you, Ellie.”
I took her words to heart, hoping she was right. The problem was I wanted Will to be the one who loved me, as pathetic as that was.
“At least Mollie gets to stay in my class.”
“What do you mean? Did he threaten to take his kid out of your class?”
“No. My principal found out about us. That’s why I finally had to break it off. She gave me a second chance, but I had to end it with Will to keep my job.”
“Bitch.”
“She said she was going to move Mollie into another class, but I was afraid that would ruin all the gains Mollie has made over the last few weeks.”
“What business is it of hers anyway? And who’d do that to a kid?”
“I was able to talk her out of moving Mollie, but I had no choice about Will.” I frowned as I realized I hadn’t spoken to Angela in while. “How’d you find out?”
“Not from you,” she said with censure in her tone. “But I forgive you because I know it was hard. Rick
mentioned it. I guess Will didn’t know we were back together and he invited Rick to go trolling for chicks. Fucker.”
I didn’t think my heart could break any more than it had but hearing that Will was eager to get out and find a new fuck buddy slashed it even more.
“I guess he wasn’t too torn up about your dumping him. Double fucker.”
I tried to laugh, but it came out as a cry.
“Oh, honey. Should I come over? Wine and ice cream?”
“I’m sure you have plans with Rick.”
“I do, but I can break them for you.”
“No. You go. At least one of us should be blissfully happy.” She and Rick would marry, and I’d be the fun spinster surrogate aunt for their children.
“Want me to cuss him out?”
“Why? As you’ve already pointed out, I wasn’t important to him. Cussing him out won’t change anything.”
“It’ll make me feel better.”
“You’re a good friend. Now, go make love to your man and savor it.”
“I will, Ellie. I’m sorry, honey.”
You and me both, I thought.
And so went my life. I hid in my condo all weekend, and on Monday I was back at school. The children were the only bright spot in my life. Mollie was continuing to grow, which showed she didn’t really miss our time outside of class either.
In a couple of weeks school would be out, and then what the hell would I do? Most teachers I knew had summer jobs, many had second jobs. I’d been fortunate not to have student loans, and I was smart with my money, which is why I was able to buy a condo on the beach. But maybe I’d get a job just to fill my time, because living across the hall from Will, who worked at home, would be brutal on my poorly stitched together heart.
At the end of the school day on Wednesday, Mrs. Snyder visited me. I was finishing packing my things to leave for the day.
“Ms. Webb.”
“Mrs. Snyder.” What the hell did she want now?
“I wanted to check on you.”
“I ended things with Mr. Mathers, as you asked.” I didn’t bother to hide my annoyance. She’d basically made me rip my heart from my chest. It was hard to polite after that.
Blind Date: Single Dad-Baby Romance Page 9