“What’s his name?”
“Ryan Daniels.” His back had been to her because she was setting the table, but he heard her sigh before she said his name. The air had started to feel heavy with tension. He thought maybe he should go but it felt so nice to be in a house with people, especially them.
“Well, I will get going. Let you folks eat. Enjoy the meal.”
He walked for the door when he heard a thundering of feet make their way for the dinner table. Stephen stopped in front of him. The look he gave him was the same one Emma had just given him. The kid stuck his hand out at him, “Hi Mr. David! You going to stay for dinner?”
“Well, no, I was just about to leave.” The fact that his oldest boy was almost as tall as him shocked him. “Wow! You’re a tall one. How old are you?”
“I’m twelve now. Just had a birthday a few months ago.”
“Practically a man. What grade are you in this year?”
“Seventh. So, will you stay for dinner?” He had not anticipated this. He had planned to drop things off and go. If he stayed, one of them was bound to figure out who he was. Judging from the look on Stephan’s face, someone already had. There was a part of him that wanted them to know and there was a part that said they were better off without him. If this boy was any other boy it would have been easy to walk away. But this wasn’t any other boy, it was his boy. His oldest boy. How was he going to turn down his own kid. Do like every other dad does... “What does your mom say? Did you ask her? She may not want company tonight.”
Then he heard her from around the corner. “Stephen, you and Mr. David come sit down. You are welcome to stay.” She then came around the corner and looked right at him, but not just at him, through him straight to his heart. It was a soft, understanding look like she knew the inner struggle that was raging inside him. “If you would like to stay” she then said. He relaxed just a bit. She was leaving the choice to him.
“Okay, I’ll stay. Thank you, Ma’am.”
***
She didn’t really want him to stay but to not offer after he drove way out here to make a delivery would just be rude. Something about him made her very nervous but not in a negative way. She didn’t know what to make of it. He seemed familiar to her, but she couldn’t place how. Maybe tonight, she could get closer to figuring it out. If she was truly honest with herself and admit it, she knew exactly who he made her think of - Ryan. She couldn’t trust her heart to go in that direction though. She finally felt like she was moving forward.
They all sat down and Stephen said the prayer. As soon as “Amen” was said by all, the room burst with energy as everyone tried to tell her about their day, all at once. Poor David looked overwhelmed as he sat there at the other end of the table. She couldn’t help smiling as she watched him. He had a look of pure terror on his face and she thought he was about to jump up and run for the door. “Okay GUYS!!!! Let’s take it down a notch. You’’re scaring Mr. David. He is a guest, let’s use our manners.”
Each kid, individually, proceeded to tell her about their day, Sarah with great detail. Still though, David looked unsettled and stressed. She needed to practice her manners as well. Make him feel welcome in her home. “Mr. David?” He looked up at her and the sadness in his eyes made her think of Ryan even more. She had to remind her heart that this was not Ryan but a new acquaintance who could be a friend if she would stop her heart from going in another direction. Look past the way he moved and talked and just saw him for who he was. “So, what is it you do for a living?” That was a safe start.
“I guess you can say I am a ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none’. I work as a bartender as you know. It isn’t my most favorite place to be, but Gary was a friend to me when I first moved here. He was having trouble with keeping order and keeping bartenders out of his till. So he offered me the job until he can find a replacement.”
“How long have you worked there?” she asked.
“Six months now.” He had a slight grin on his face and a hint of sarcasm in his tone. “I guess he quit looking. That isn’t the only thing I do. I do handyman jobs, as you already know, mostly for the little old ladies or single mothers. Um...a little car repair, depending on the age of the vehicle. You will see me around the church from time to time doing odds and ends jobs I manage to make ends meet.”
“Wow, you’re busy. Don’t you have a family to go home to?” Sarah was so sweet.
“No, not right now. I used to.” Emma was sure she had seen him shift a bit. He was clearly not wanting to answer that question. After a long pause he continued, “I did have a family but I know they are better off without me, wherever they are.”
***
The look Sarah was giving him now was more than he could handle. She had such confusion in her eyes. He could see the storm of questions brewing behind them. Oh to be a child again where everything was so simple.
“How can you say that, Mr. David?” He looked over to Emma, begging her with his eyes, he hoped, to stop the questioning by Sarah.
“Honey, let’s leave it be, okay? Mr. David is a guest here. And this is not a time to drill him about his family. Now eat your dinner.” She looked at him and gave him a smile that showed her apologies. “I am sorry about my daughter. My husband left us a long time ago, when she was a newborn, and she feels a bit, um … passionate about being fatherless right now. I am sorry your family is not with you.”
“No harm done, nothing I haven’t asked myself before.” It’s is time to leave. This is too much. He checked his watch as discreetly as he could.
“Mr. David, I’m sorry.” He looked at Sarah in surprise. She sat next to him at the table. Her head was down and she was twisting her fingers. He heard her sniffle and he saw a single tear drop onto her lap. His heart ached to hold her like only a daddy could, but he gave up that right. He felt useless right now.
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, I can handle it.” He looked at Emma looking for a signal of some kind that she trusted him, and put his hand on Sarah’’s shoulder and patted it, hoping it was somewhat comforting. Like any stranger would do when they saw a young girl crying.
With a little voice, that maybe only he could hear, “Yes, I did. I’m sorry.” She looked up at him and then to her mom, “Can I be excused? I feel tired and I have homework.” Emma nodded her okay and Sarah stood, turned to him, looked him in the eyes, and then shocked him with a kiss on the cheek, on his scar actually, and hugged his neck. “Good night Mr. David.” He managed the proper response through the knot in his throat as he watched her say her good-nights to the rest and leave the room. He really felt like he was intruding now and knew he needed to leave but he just couldn’t. Sarah, his daughter, just stole his heart. Again.
“Boys why don’t you clean up tonight?” Emma said. He could tell that was not a request. And by the looks of things, so could the boys.
“BUT MOM!”
“No buts, hop to it.” Like a drill sergeant, he thought. He had to grin.
It was nice to see her get all feisty again. Too nice. When they were married, he got enjoyment out of riling her up. He would pick on her just to see it. Do whatever he could to make her laugh, most of the time at his own expense. Her laughter was like a drug to him. He needed to hear it every day. If he could get her laughing, he knew all was well. The memory of those times is what kept him going through all the therapy and surgeries on his leg. Those memories kept him fighting. How could he even think he could live this life without her in it? Maybe Emma and David could be friends. Ryan will just have to stay tucked away. He knew just as soon as the thought crossed that it would be difficult, but he would try. God, I think I am going to need your help with this one.
Movement beside him caught his attention. It was Emma. She was standing close next to him, too close. She reached for his plate. He felt his pulse start to race. Easy boy, she is just clearing the table. Breathe man! He was really going to have a hard time with this friend thing. It would take as much willpower as he co
uld come up with to resist the urge he had right now to kiss her. Kiss her like he used to every time she came close to him while she would clear the table. He would wrap his arm around her hip and pull her into his lap and then kiss her soundly. The kids were so little at the time that they didn’t even notice, but if they had still been married, he gave a slight giggle, they would respond with all the “gross” comments he was now thinking. It would be fun to hear them.
“What’s so funny?” He looked up at her. She was smiling at him and it made her eyes glow. His heart began to race in his chest and he found himself mute. She was still a stunning beauty.
“Oh just a thought I had. Here, let me help you.” He had to get up and move. It would keep him from doing something he shouldn’t.
“No, you don’t need to do that. You are a guest. Guests don’t clean up after themselves in this house, at least not on the first visit.”
He refused to give her his plate, fork and glass. So he stood, grabbed his things and headed for the sink.
“Excuse me sir, did you hear me?” He did, but he was enjoying the rise he was getting out of her. He could hear the humor in her voice as he walked away. He knew she was right behind him because he could feel her staring daggers at him. She was close enough to be in his personal space. He reached the sink and put his dinner dishes in; she was still close to him. Right behind him, it sure wouldn’t take much to turn around and... that’s enough. Behave! The mental reprimand put a smile back on his face. He was enjoying this and he wasn’t ready for this night to end. Funny how one minute I am ready to bolt out of here and the next, I can’t bring myself to leave. Right then an idea formed, “For starters, this isn’t my first time here. So, why don’t I do the dishes? Let the boys do their homework as I am sure they have some. You can dry.” She had a hesitant look on her sweet face. “Let me repay your kindness for letting me stay and have dinner with you all.” She gave a heavy sigh and he could see the doubt turning in her brain. He thought she was beautiful when she was like this. He thought she was beautiful all the time.
“Okay. You can wash I’ll dry. Soap is under the sink. Let me go get the kids settled and check on Sarah.” She turned away to head for the stairs then turned back to him, “Thank you” she said. “Not a problem.”
Chapter 12
What are you doing!? Are you crazy?
He knew the answer to that, but he wasn’t ready to leave her just yet. He didn’t know why, but he had to find out. It had been fifteen minutes since she went upstairs. He hoped everything was okay. The house seemed so peaceful with all the kids in bed. He could definitely get used to this. He heard the soft footsteps of someone coming down the stairs. He hoped she wouldn’t be able to see how nervous he was. He was on pins and needles waiting for her to say something. Anything.
He heard her walk up behind him and it took everything not to turn and look at her. “You know, David, I appreciate what you have done tonight and what you are doing now, but I can handle it. I have been for a while now. You don’t need to stay.”
“If I make you uneasy, I’ll go. If I scare you in any way, tell me now and I will leave. I just want to pay you back for your kindness. And maybe spend time with what I hope is a new friend.” He still had not turned round. He was half afraid of what he would see and what he would do if he looked at her. He had not been alone with her in eight years. Every time they were in the same room together, someone else was there.
There was silence for a long moment. He heard her walk across the room, open and shut a drawer and then heard her walk his way. She came up beside him on his right and grabbed a dish.
“Thank you again.” she said as she dried each dish that he had already washed. “You’re a good man, David. I hope you know that.”
“I wonder sometimes, but I am glad you think so.” He paused for a minute, “I hope I didn’t upset the kids too much.”
“Why do you think you would upset them?”
He paused for a moment. “Well, the scars.”
“I guess they are fine, they never said anything about them. Kids may seem like they only see the surface, but they can be more honest about things than adults. You shared a bit of yourself with them tonight and they may have stopped seeing the scars. I am not sure they have ever really noticed them. They are just a part of who you are to the kids.” She paused for a moment, “Did that make sense?”
“Yes, plenty. Wish more adults would do that.”
“Me too. They see me with three kids and the looks on their faces goes from happy to pity. Men turn the other way and won’t give me a second look.”
He thought for a minute about what to say next. Hearing her talk about other men was not on the top of his list. “It was...interesting listening to the banter.”
She gave a little “hmm” and said, “That’s funny. I thought you were about to bolt out of here like a cat who got his tail stuck in a door.” They both looked at each other and had a quick laugh as he nodded in admittance to her observation.
“It has been a long time since I had been around kids so it was a bit noisy for me, but it’s okay. It was still good to hear. Can I ask you something personal?”
“Fine but if you get too personal, you’re out. Certain secrets are still mine.” Emma replied with a chuckle.
“I can agree to that. How long has he been gone? Your husband? I am guessing from Sarah’s response that it has been a while.”
“Wow, you get right to it don’t ya?”
He just responded with a shrug of his shoulder.
She didn’t say anything for a while. He figured she was gathering her thoughts on what she was and was not going to say to him. He was curious to hear her answer and was about to apologize for his forwardness when she said, “Eight years. Ryan left us eight years ago.” He was watching her while she concentrated on the dish in her hand, maybe over drying it a bit.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. What do you mean by he left you? Like he died or he packed up and left?” He could see her bottom lip tremble a bit and he wanted to take her in his arms right then and tell her who he really was and what an idiot he had been. Something told him not yet though. So he kept his hands in the water and kept washing. Anything to distract what his instincts told him to do.
“Ryan was in a bad accident eight years ago. I don’t know what he was thinking when the tractor hit him, but apparently he was swerving so he didn’t hit another car. Funny how that works isn’t it. Move to get out of someone’s way and you still get hit.” She heaved a heavy sigh and he could see the emotions cross her face.
“You don’t have to tell me. I am sorry this is so painful for you to talk about. I didn’t think. Don’t bother saying anything else. Okay?” He put his soapy hand on her arm and her head shot up and she looked him straight in the eye. She was studying him; he could feel it. He didn’t like it. She was analyzing him like she used to. Her look had him frozen in his place. He couldn’t move. No, he wouldn’t move. A part of him was curious to know what she saw or thought.
“No, I need to say it. I have refused to talk about it to anyone who didn’t already know.” She took a deep breath, “Don’t be mad, but can I let the flood gate open and vent? It is usually a girl thing, but...”
He stopped her by saying, “Let it out.” He knew he deserved whatever she had to say.
So she did. Boy did she ever. “He refused to see any of his family after a few weeks of being in the hospital. Within three months of the accident, I received divorce papers. It almost killed me. If my friend, Ann, had not stepped in, I would have finished the job he started by sending me those papers. The coward would not answer my calls or see me. He didn’t even show up to the hearing. He never fought for me and the kids. Sarah was a newborn. He chickened out for reasons unknown to me or anyone else. The doctor tried to give excuses for him, saying it was trauma. I don’t know. I have a hard time with that.
All I know is I was mad at him when he left for work that day and I am mad at him
still for leaving us high and dry. He refused to let us see things through after he promised me we would work through everything, because God was on our side.” There was a long moment of silence.
She let out her breath like she was relieved. As they stood at the sink, studying one another- awkwardness filling the space between them- her expression changed. She cocked her head to the side a bit, and squinted her eyes and the gasped. He took a step back. He nervously waited for her to say something, but nothing was said. The sound of a cell phone ringing broke the silence.
“Um, is that yours or mine?” He started to bat his pockets, but he knew it wasn’t his. Saved by the bell!
She picked up her phone, gave another heavy sigh. She seemed to do that a lot. She looked at the caller ID and smiled. She looked happy about whoever was calling.
“Hello?”, she answered sweetly. It was like watching a completely different woman. Like changing masks.
“Oh, hi Dr. Emerson... Oh! Okay! This is Mike this time, right?” She gave a little giggle and her smile grew bigger. “No, I wasn’t in the middle of anything major. Just washing dinner dishes... Saturday night? Let me see.” She looked at the calendar on the wall. “No I do not have anything going this Saturday night...Dinner? I would love to! Yes! I will do all I can to get a sitter...Okay I can do that...Oooo, that sounds nice...Oh that would be fun since I missed last weekend due to Sarah’s fall...Oh she is great...Okay, seven o’clock it is…I’m looking forward to it Mike...Thanks for calling...Bye!”
She was just asked on a date. David felt defeated.
He finished the last dish while he assumed she was putting the date on the calendar. He walked to the front door and grabbed his coat and walked out the door without saying goodbye. He did what he said he would do. No more, no less. All he knew now was his Emma was going to go on a date Saturday with a guy she must have liked for her to smile the way she was while talking to him.
What God Brings Together Page 9