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White Rose

Page 4

by Kip Wilson


  Some people look

  at me, smile, think

  She’s just a girl, but

  Vati raised us to be

  politically minded,

  after all, and I’m not

  about to forget

  how I was

  brought

  up.

  FATHERS AND SONS

  Letter to Fritz, September 1940

  Dear Fritz,

  I’m happy to share

  what I think

  about the German Volk.

  A soldier’s oath

  to his Volk

  to his Führer

  is like the unconditional

  love of a son to his family.

  Even if a father hurts someone,

  his son backs him up.

  But he shouldn’t.

  Justice

  is more important

  than family,

  than Volk,

  than Führer.

  Justice

  is more important

  than anything.

  CHANGES

  Away from home for

  practice teaching—

  a stint I hope will fulfill

  my labor service requirement

  for the Reich

  so I can finally move

  on to the university—

  and everything feels

  wrong.

  This might be

  a step closer to a future

  that matters, but

  I can’t see how life

  can go on like this at all,

  as though nothing

  around us has

  changed in the slightest.

  I carry out my duties, focusing

  on the children here, but when

  night falls, I dive

  deep into my books,

  my writing paper,

  the arrival of the day’s post.

  Letters from my family slip

  me snippets of home, while

  mine to Hans and Fritz place

  me in their back pockets

  as they slice

  their way west.

  But I already know

  nothing will ever

  be the same again.

  LOVE LETTER

  Fritz’s letter from Calais is

  different from

  his regular letters.

  Today I’m writing the hardest letter

  I’ve ever written you.

  My throat tightens

  as I read on to find lines

  I never expected

  (though I should have,

  since I was the one who wanted

  the both of us to fly free).

  Still, I don’t need to hear

  about her big, dark eyes

  or her sad, dreamy smile.

  I don’t need to hear

  how Fritz says he

  can’t

  escape

  me

  even as he lies

  in another’s arms.

  I don’t need him to apologize

  for hurting me.

  We’ve both made mistakes,

  both tired of me pushing

  him away as often as I draw him near.

  I know I’m difficult, but with the world

  the way it is, someone has

  to be difficult.

  I’ll always love

  Fritz, but I love

  me more.

  SOLITUDE

  Letter to Fritz, October 1940

  Dear Fritz,

  Even when surrounded by

  the most kindred

  spirits, I sometimes crave

  solitude.

  Especially now, with so much

  darkness closing in around us, being

  alone is as important to me as

  food and drink.

  I hope you find

  good friends

  wherever

  you go, but

  I hope you can brave

  it alone, too.

  THE END

  FEBRUARY 18, 1943

  Torture

  Herr Mohr studies me

  across the desk, as though

  the information I’ve been trying

  so valiantly to conceal sits

  printed across my face

  or as though

  he can read

  my apprehension

  of what’s yet to come.

  Boom-boom,

  boom-boom.

  Is something bothering you,

  Fräulein Scholl?

  I decide to admit

  the latter.

  I’ve heard the Gestapo tortures

  the accused for confessions.

  Herr Mohr chuckles. You’re the victim

  of misinformation. We don’t do that.

  My eyes narrow. I don’t know what

  to believe, but if his words are

  true, I deserve

  proof that the same holds

  true for Hans.

  I’m worried about my brother.

  I’d like to see him.

  If that would satisfy you. He gets to his feet, leaves

  the room, opens the door beyond.

  In a room exactly like

  mine, Hans turns

  his head to meet my gaze and

  the courage he sends

  me matches the courage I send

  him and relief floods

  me when I realize

  that in spite of the

  evidence they gathered

  at Hans’s feet,

  that in spite of my own

  foolish actions,

  we still have

  a chance

  to survive this.

  INNOCENT

  As abruptly as the door opened,

  it closes once more, snuffing

  out all light and air and

  hope, leaving

  Hans and me on

  our own once again.

  Stay alert,

  I warn myself, be careful,

  but it seems

  Herr Mohr believes

  my lies so far.

  When he asks

  if I touched

  any of the leaflets scattered

  around the halls,

  I’m relieved to tell the truth.

  When I saw a stack

  of those leaflets

  on the balustrade,

  I couldn’t help myself,

  I couldn’t stop myself.

  I gave them a shove toward

  the atrium below, but I realize now

  it was a stupid thing to do.

  I bow my head,

  clasp my hands,

  a picture of innocence.

  I regret it but

  can’t change it.

  Herr Mohr watches,

  paces, stops, nods.

  I understand, Fräulein Scholl.

  We’ve all done things we regret.

  Yet his questions

  continue.

  BEFORE

  1941

  Duty

  The boys have

  their duty as soldiers, but

  my duties continue, too—no

  matter how much I’d rather

  not

  serve this Reich.

  My attempt to replace

  Reichsarbeitsdienst with

  teacher training fails, and

  the only way to study

  at the university

  is to give up

  six months of my

  life to the Führer.

  KRAUCHENWIES

  Reichsarbeitsdienst

  at Krauchenwies labor

  camp means

  bone-chilling cold,

  armies of mice scampering

  across the floor,

  endless days of

  mindless tasks:

  6:00 a.m. wake-up

  calisthenics

  flag raising

  National Socialist son
gs

  ideology lessons

  work, work, work,

  nothing

  that requires

  a brain.

  At night: locked

  up in the barracks

  with ten other

  girls

  chattering and giggling

  like a flock of southbound

  geese while I’m trying

  to read and all

  I want to do

  is break

  out of here toward

  somewhere

  I can make

  a difference.

  FEELINGS

  Letter to Fritz, February 1941

  Dear Fritz,

  In spite of

  everything, I know

  I can always count

  on you.

  We don’t need

  promises

  exclusivity

  a sure future.

  Your words, your

  love from afar make

  me fonder

  of you

  than ever.

  TRAPPED

  Bad as it is to

  be a cog in this

  terrible machine,

  the worst comes

  today,

  when we learn

  we’re to have

  six

  more

  months

  in this straitjacket.

  I’ll never

  get out of here

  never

  make a difference

  never

  escape.

  The war booms

  on while I sit

  here helpless, unable

  to do anything to

  stop it.

  BIRTHDAY

  I turn twenty at

  Krauchenwies, surrounded

  not by family and friends

  but the same

  group of girls who

  shatter

  my reading time with

  their incessant interruptions

  every

  night.

  I don’t even try

  to celebrate.

  THIS IS LOVE

  Fritz marches east, part of

  the next big invasion—

  the next big thundering

  storm cloud—

  his words jumping

  off the page.

  I can almost feel

  the scratchy wool

  of his uniform

  as though he’s pressing

  me to his chest, but

  it suffocates

  me as much as it comforts

  me.

  Though I can’t imagine

  the dangers people face

  on all sides of this war daily,

  Fritz’s letter ignores

  the horror, focuses on

  me, responding to

  my news of extended labor service.

  His words empower

  me as only he can:

  You must follow

  your heart

  your mind

  your conscience

  or you won’t be

  Sophie any longer.

  In spite of everything that’s come

  between us,

  no one

  knows me

  so well.

  STUDENT LIFE

  Letter from Hans, May 1941

  Dear Sophie,

  A bit of respite,

  a bit of freedom

  here at the university

  after such a long wait.

  Despite the constant drills

  in the student company,

  most of my time here is pleasant,

  with lectures into the evenings,

  excursions to the mountains,

  glowing under the bright, blinding sun,

  especially now

  that it’s truly spring.

  Just think of how splendid it’ll be

  when you’re finally here, too!

  SERMON BY BISHOP AUGUST VON GALEN

  Back at home from

  labor service, and Hans is

  here for a few

  days too, in between his

  l o n g stretches

  of time at

  the university and

  the front.

  My big brother doesn’t say

  a word as he hands

  me a letter, a printed

  sermon

  by a bishop:

  I have been informed

  that hospitals in Berlin are preparing

  lists of inmates who are classified

  as unproductive members

  of the national community

  and that these people are to be removed

  from these establishments and killed.

  German men and women!

  Article 211 of the German Penal Code

  is still in force, in these terms:

  “Whoever kills a man with deliberate intent

  is guilty of murder

  and punishable with death.”

  LEAFLETS

  The words steal

  the breath

  from my

  lungs, trapping

  the air in

  my throat.

  It’s just

  like Mutti’s

  friend said:

  innocent people,

  murdered.

  But.

  A response.

  A condemnation.

  This bishop, standing

  up in the

  face of

  tyranny!

  Someone has typed

  up his sermon, duplicated it, sent

  it to households across Germany.

  A leaflet.

  It’s brilliant.

  Leaflets like this can reach

  individuals with a message

  for the masses, can spread

  the truth, can show

  the world what’s happening.

  Leaflets like this might make

  people act.

  POLICE ORDER OF THE IDENTIFICATION OF JEWS

  September 1941

  Jews six years and older

  are forbidden to appear

  in public without

  displaying a Jewish star.

  The Jewish star should

  consist of a yellow

  Star of David on a black

  background with the

  inscription Jude.

  It should be fixed

  over the left breast

  of all clothing.

  This order goes into

  effect in 14 days.

  On behalf of the Interior Minister

  Reinhard Heydrich

  DISAPPEARANCES

  Soon after Jews

  are ordered

  to wear stars, new

  rumors circulate.

  Jews from Ulm,

  deported—

  first to Stuttgart

  then out of Germany

  entirely.

  Where

  are

  they

  being

  sent?

  WINTER RELIEF

  It’s that time of year again:

  the collection drive for

  wool

  furs

  warm socks

  to send to the soldiers at the front.

  But my family and I are through

  with this regime, through

  with its Führer, through

  with these attacks on innocent

  countries, innocent people.

  This

  war

  must

  stop.

  We’ll give

  nothing.

  We’ll do

  nothing that will

  help prolong

  the war,

  I tell Fritz.

  He valiantly tries

  to explain why help is

  needed but soon recognizes

  the futility of his efforts.

  A P
RAYER

  Once again in the night,

  worry and

  despair and

  hopelessness worm

  their way through me, the walls

  once again pressing

  close, and

  all I can do is pray

  for the oppressed

  wherever they might be

  for my brothers

  that they survive this war

  for my faraway friends

  whose letters do

  nothing to bring

  us closer

  for Fritz

  whom I hope to come to love,

  hard as it is some days

  for my own soul

  desperate, hungering

  beyond measure, finding

  satisfaction only in nature:

  the sky

  the stars

  the silent earth.

  1942

  Happy New Year

  A handful of snowy days

  in the mountains

  with Hans

  his girlfriend Traute

  our big sister Inge

  some other friends—

  hoping the arrival of

  1942 will bring

  with it the change we all

  so badly desire.

  We ski, drink tea, sit

  around the stove by candlelight,

  our discussion focused

  on these turbulent times.

  We share

  intellectual awakening,

  but we’re all too mired

  in our own despair to know

 

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