Truck Me Back to Normal

by J. D. Walker

  Truck Me Back to Normal

  By J.D. Walker

  Published by JMS Books LLC

  Visit jms-books.com for more information.

  Copyright 2018 J.D. Walker

  ISBN 9781634868082

  Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com

  Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.

  All rights reserved.

  WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It may contain sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which might be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Published in the United States of America.

  * * * *

  Truck Me Back to Normal

  By J.D. Walker

  I can do this. I know I can.

  I took a deep breath and walked down the long, dusty road that led up to the farm where I’d applied for a job online. I’d taken a cab here, and I was nervous. It was early June, and after spending a month at the trailer park with my older brother, Derrick Choi, and Paul Fontana, his super-hot, older boyfriend, I was ready to face the world and make my way toward a new beginning, of sorts.

  After time spent overseas in the army, I had returned stateside messed up in the head as a result of the mind-fuck of heavy combat and casualties. Following a rough stint in a tiny apartment together, Derrick and I were able to move to our current home, thanks to the generosity of Adrian, Derrick’s boss and owner of the units where we now lived. And soon after that, Derrick was able to save up enough money to get me into a place that helped me heal. He’d done so much for me, and if nothing else, I owed it to him and myself to make something out of my life. I’d start small, though.

  Like today.

  I had an interview with the manager at the farm through which I currently sauntered. It seemed to be a huge operation, and I could see all kinds of animals and crops everywhere I gazed. The job itself wasn’t anything fancy, but that didn’t matter to me. The fact that I was making this attempt at normalcy meant I’d improved enough to deal with the world now without shying away from—or raging at—people or loud noises. Mind you, I could be startled every once in a while. But that was improving, too. I took my meds, and I rode out the bad dreams and the occasional flashback as best I could.

  They’d taught me a lot at the institute, and I now had a better understanding of myself and ways to deal with crises without going too crazy. I loved that the therapists had really listened to me and hadn’t let me get away with saying I was weak or worthless, or give in to self-hate. My time there was worth every penny my brother had spent.

  I tugged on the cuffs of my long-sleeved shirt and straightened the ponytail at my neck, hoping I appeared neat and presentable despite the sweat stains under my armpits. I’d gained a little weight so I wasn’t as thin as I’d been while going through my ordeal. If I landed this job, sheer hard labor would probably bring me closer to the size and fitness level I’d been back in the army. I missed that.

  I climbed the dusty steps to knock on the front door of what seemed to be the main house. It opened, and a serene-looking woman likely in her late forties gave me a friendly smile and asked me to enter after I said “hello.”

  I wiped my feet on the braided rug and stepped past her. “You’re Joseph Choi, yes?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Most folks call me Joey, though.”

  “Well, Joey, my name’s Meg, and I’m the house manager here. Go on down the hall and look for the door marked: ‘Foreman.’ Knock and wait for permission to enter, okay? Bear hates it when people barge in unannounced.”

  Bear? “Okay. Thank you, ma’am.” I walked down the hall she’d mentioned, bypassed a staircase, then found the right door. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath like I had earlier, and knocked.

  A voice called out, “Come in.”

  When I entered the room, I closed the door behind me and turned to face my potential employer. He was the biggest man I’d ever seen. No wonder he was called Bear.

  “Joseph Choi?” the foreman asked from where he sat behind a desk on which everything was stacked in neat piles. He didn’t look up, but focused on what he was doing, his pen busily going back and forth on the sheet before him. He reminded me a little of a few of my former commanding officers in the way he held himself. Rigid. Stern. Yummy. Now where did that thought come from? I had no business thinking of anyone in that way.

  “Yes, sir.” I remained at the door, waiting to be told what to do next. It was like being in the army. I almost stood at parade rest, out of old habits.

  “Please, have a seat,” he added and I thanked him quietly before sitting in the only other chair in the room. I watched as he scribbled. The foreman seemed to be very intent and deliberate, and he wasn’t bad looking either, if you went for massively-built, hairy men with a “no-bullshit” aura around them.

  It had been a long time since I’d felt any kind of interest in another human being, the issues I’d been dealing with leaving my dick pretty much dead to the world. It was surprising to…feel again. And scary. I wasn’t ready.

  “My apologies, Mr. Choi,” Bear said, and I reined in my wayward musings.

  “Not a problem, sir.” When his eyes finally met mine, I froze. Jesus, the man was gorgeous, all hard lines, chiseled jaw, steel blue eyes, and wavy black hair. Strangely enough, he’d frozen, too, though he recovered much more quickly than I did. I reminded myself I was here for a job, not to fuck my potential boss. My dick said, what a pity. I ignored it.

  He cleared his throat and tucked a lock of hair behind an ear. “From your application, it says you were in the army for a long time, but you haven’t worked since you left. Care to tell me why?”

  Well, it would have come out at some point anyway, right? “I had some difficulty dealing with a variety of things as a result of experiences I had while overseas.” That was vague enough, wasn’t it? “I’m simply trying to find a way to start again. A new normal, as it were, since I will never be a soldier again, though it was all I ever wanted.” The admission of that truth still hurt, even now.

  Bear studied me for a few seconds, and I did my best not to fidget. “The job is menial in the extreme. You’ll be shoveling shit, cleaning up after horses, pigs, and cows, helping with the planting and the harvest, you name it. If we need a hole dug, a fence fixed, or an extra hand in the kitchen, you’re it. It’s back-breaking work most days, and it’s twelve hours a day, sometimes more. Think you can handle that, Mr. Choi?”

  Hard, mindless work was the best medicine for me right now. “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. You’re hired.” The foreman stood, and his very height and breadth shrank the room even more. “My name is Barrimore Lancett. I know people call me Bear behind my back, but you will call me Mr. Lancett, or sir, to my face. The only person on this compound who is allowed to call me Bear in the presence of others is Meg. She’s my step-sister and part-owner of this farm.”

  I stood and shook the hand he held out. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” I a
lmost saluted him but figured that would be pushing it. Look at me, having a sense of humor.

  He escorted me to the door and opened it. “Be here at five-thirty in the morning. Meg will have breakfast ready at that time for all the hands, and then we’ll get started. I’ll show you where you’ll be living, too. You have most weekends off, unless there’s an event of some kind, or the harvest is in full swing.”

  I nodded. “Understood. See you tomorrow, Mr. Lancett.” As I walked down the hall, I felt his eyes on me but dared not look back. Whatever moment we had back there was likely a fluke. I had no way of knowing where his interests lay, and I was the furthest thing from boyfriend or even casual sex material. He’d likely break me in half, if we ever got into bed together, and oh, the prospect of that…

  It was a bad idea, anyway. All the same, I had a job, and I could finally start my life down a path not littered with bombs, bodies, or blood.

  * * * *

  “You have to get up when?” Derrick asked from where he sat at the dinner table in our trailer. Paul grabbed Derrick’s chin and gave him a quick kiss before popping a popcorn nugget into his mouth. Derrick smiled and chewed. “Thanks, love.”

  “Zero dark-thirty,” I replied as I ate some coleslaw. I’d stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken on the way home to bring dinner for everyone. “It’s no worse than the hours I kept in the army.”

  “But when will we see you?” Derrick had been ecstatic about my new job, but the hours and the fact that I wouldn’t be around much didn’t make him happy.

  “On weekends. You can text me, you know. It’s not like I’m moving across the country, or anything.”

  “I know, but we only just got you back and I feel like whining, damn it.” Derrick pouted, and I grinned at Paul.

  “I think he needs a distraction tonight, don’t you, Paul? Why don’t you take him over to your place and I’ll clean up here.”

  “Hey, now,” my brother protested before Paul dragged him into his lap and shut him up with a messy lip-lock.

  I smiled and left them to it as I cleared up the kitchen and headed to my bedroom to pack clothes and toiletries for the week. I was looking forward to toil and sweat. Thoughts of the sexy foreman crossed my mind, but I ignored them. It was as unrealistic as rain in the desert to think like that. The guy probably had a boyfriend—or girlfriend—around anyway.

  I heard the front door close and figured Paul and Derrick were heading over to Paul’s place to get busy. I was happy for my brother. He’d done so much and given up a lot for me. He deserved the best in life and to be loved wholeheartedly by someone. Paul did that, and how. Whether or not I’d ever be able to have that with someone, or if I was even capable, I didn’t know. I certainly didn’t feel like I could be, most days.

  Derrick’s boss would drop me off on his way to work in the morning, though it was a little out of his way. I would eventually save up enough to get my own ride.

  That night, as I lay in bed, I thought again about Barrimore Lancett. Bear. He was a man and a half, wasn’t he? Not once had he cracked a smile, but he had dimples cut into his cheeks, so I bet his grin would be spectacular. I wondered what it would take to make him laugh. I doubted I’d ever find out.

  * * * *

  By nine o’clock the next morning, every muscle in my body ached, and I’d discovered the aroma of cow shit. Not my favorite. Still, the men and women with whom I toiled were friendly, dedicated to their jobs, and real helpful to me as I learned the ropes.

  We all took a break around ten that Monday morning to grab some coffee or water from the long table behind the big house, as well as snacks. Meg didn’t want any of us tracking mud or whatever into her pristine kitchen. I didn’t blame her.

  As we sat around the table in the shade of a huge oak tree, Kendrick, one of the hands, asked, “So you met Bear, huh?” Her smile was full of mischief. She was my height and tough as nails.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t want to talk too much about the man, what with it being my first day and all.

  “He’s a hottie, isn’t he, Tommy?” She used the toe of a muddy boot to nudge the blond across from me.

  “Hush up, woman,” Tommy muttered. I glanced at him. He was red in the face, and it wasn’t from sunburn.

  “Everyone’s been after that man,” Ted, who worked mainly with the cows, said. “He’s impervious to charm or any sexual advance you can think of. Believe me, we’ve all tried. He’s just not interested, I guess. Maybe he’s asexual, or something.”

  Wouldn’t they like to know about the “moment” Bear and I had shared yesterday? I kept my mouth shut.

  “His daddy married Meg’s mom years ago,” Kendrick said. “That’s how come they’re step-brother and step-sister. He’s kind of closed-off, though. It’s a shame, ‘cause I’m sure there’s more beneath all that armor he wears. Though it’s such good-looking armor, don’t you think?” She winked at me and I just shook my head.

  I held up my hands. “It’s my first day, people, and I barely know the man.”

  “Give it time,” she replied, “and you’ll fall under his spell, too.”

  Letting any of my thoughts wander down that road would only lead to trouble. Better to focus on doing a good job and prove myself. I didn’t think I could handle anything more complicated than that.

  * * * *

  By Friday evening, I pretty much understood the routine and rhythm of the farm. Bear was front and center most of the time—except when he was in the office shuffling paperwork. He set the example for all of us by working harder than many men and women combined, it seemed.

  He appeared…driven to outdo the world, as if he had something to prove, though I couldn’t for the life of me think what on earth that could be. He reminded me of the way I’d been in the army. Bear was polite whenever we crossed paths, though if no one else was around, his gaze lingered just a touch. Deliberate or not, I chose to ignore it and kept my mind on the job at hand. The foreman was firm in his instructions and sparse in his praise, though always sincere.

  He treated everyone the same, though I noticed he was extra careful with Tommy. I understood, from Kendrick, that Tommy had fallen hard for the foreman, and he’d had to let Tommy down lightly. That was four months ago. So I suppose I could add “kind” to the long list of stalwart attributes Bear possessed.

  The male and female bunkhouses were across from each other, though I noticed lots of co-habitation going on at night, or sometimes mid-afternoon, in between chores. If a couple—or more—wanted to get together, whether same-sex or mixed, it was easily arranged. It was nice to work in such an open-minded, easy-going environment. I’d even been approached by some of the hands for a literal romp in the hay, but I’d declined.

  I usually spent my evenings—after texting Derrick to reassure him I was alive—walking on the far edge of the farm and would end up leaning against the wooden fence, staring up at the stars. It was peaceful there at sunset and I’d come out after dinner and a shower to just breathe.

  This evening, the mosquitoes and bugs were numerous but at least I wasn’t getting bitten. The heat of the day had eased off a bit, so I wasn’t too sweaty, either. Everyone had headed out for the weekend, determined to have as much fun as possible, but I wanted to hang out with my trailer park family. Derrick was going to pick me up in the morning since he and Paul had some special dinner planned tonight and I didn’t want to be a bother.

  As I watched fireflies blinking on and off in the fields, I heard hooves approaching. I turned to see who it was, and there was Bear atop Halo, a huge black stallion that matched the man in the saddle in massive proportions. Bear’s eyes glittered in the setting sun as he pulled up next to me at the fence.

  “Not going into town tonight, Mr. Choi?” Bear was formal with everyone except Meg.

  “No, sir. My brother will be picking me up in the morning.”

  “Well, feel free to stop by the house for some breakfast, if you want it. Meg always cooks extra.”

  “Thank
you, Mr. Lancett.”

  He waited a beat, then said, “You’ve done well this past week, and you’re a fast learner. Keep it up, and maybe a promotion will be in your future.”

  I frowned slightly. “I’m not looking for a promotion, Mr. Lancett, though I guess I wouldn’t turn it down. I like the work I’m doing right now just fine. It’s honest labor and keeps me grounded, takes my mind off things I don’t need to dwell on. I sleep almost all night long and hardly ever have bad dreams anymore.” Shit, he didn’t need to hear all that. “All I’m saying is that I’m happy as I am.”

  Bear didn’t respond to my statement, just sat there, watching me. Maybe he was confounded at my lack of ambition. Hell, I’d surprised myself, considering the kind of person I’d been years ago. I’d learned over time that being content didn’t always equate to having more or doing more. Sometimes, keeping things simple was enough.

  The fading light cast Bear’s face in shadows, so I couldn’t read his facial expression very well. Not wanting to prolong our conversation, I backed away from the fence. “You have a nice evening, Mr. Lancett, and thanks for the offer of breakfast.”

  I sauntered back to the bunkhouse, the sound of hooves fading in the distance as Bear and Halo headed in the opposite direction.

  * * * *

  I knocked on the side door that led to the kitchen at seven the next morning. I could see Meg at the stove through the glass pane and she smiled when she saw me waiting there.

  “Come in, Joey,” she said brightly as she opened the door so I could move past her.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” I replied as I stood next to the refrigerator. “Mr. Lancett said I could come by for breakfast, but I don’t want to trouble you.”

  “No trouble whatsoever. Food’s almost ready. Coffee?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  As she poured me a cup, Meg yelled into the hallway, “Bear, come eat!” She turned back to me. “You know, he’s never asked any of the hands to stop by, before. Not like this, especially on a weekend.” She gave me a speculative glance. “Hmmm.”