Broken Wings 2 - Midnight Flight
Page 24
Natani nodded and she looked like she might heave any moment or maybe faint. She was swallowing hard and shaking her head. “If I knew all that was here, I would have chosen a maximum security prison.”
Why had Dr. Foreman decided to have Natani do this now? I wondered. Was this our punishment? To be confronted by all these frightening creatures and insects so we would dream about them at night or tiptoe about this place? Was it meant to keep us confined and discourage us from wandering about the ranch? If so, it was working. Robin looked like she would roll herself up into a ball and stay that way, and my stomach was so tight and twisted inside, I thought I would donate my dinner soon to the ants and spiders and snakes.
Natani pushed all the skins and creatures aside and sat across from us.
“Traveling in the desert is harder during the day, but the poisonous creatures I show you come out only at night. Animals in desert know to burrow and sleep during day.”
“Sounds like a peachy keen life,” Robin said dryly. “What is all this?” She turned to me. “Are we going for a hike or something?”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Not me,” Robin said. “They'd have to drag me screaming and clawing. That can't be on the agenda, can it?” She looked from Natani to me for some assurances, but all I could do was shake my head.
“Let's wait and see,” I said.
“Always cover your head in desert,” Natani continued, ignoring our conversation. “Shorts, less clothes, are not good. Sun can be like a knife. You already know,” he said, looking at Robin. “But I will teach you now how to make fire in the desert.”
“Fire in the desert? That's like bringing ice cubes to Eskimos,” Robin said, grimacing. “Why would anyone need a fire in the desert?”
“Fire is a way to signal, cook food, make water good. You know it can be very cold at night, too.”
Natani showed us how to use a stick with a piece of dried wood or the thick branch of a bush to generate enough friction. Once the smoke started, he bore down harder, then fed the area with some dried twigs,
constantly blowing on the tiny embers. They flamed up and he sat back.
“You try.” He gave both of us the means to work a friction fire. Robin and I got the smoke started, but both of us failed to get the flame going until Natani demonstrated again. Finally, we both got a flame. It felt like a major accomplishment.
“Isn't it easier to just carry a pack of matches?” Robin muttered.
Natani's eyes darkened, then brightened again when he looked at me. “Natani can't teach in one day what it takes a lifetime to learn, and what you learn here is good forever. Everywhere there are deserts, even in the middle of your cities.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Don't worry about it, Natani,” Robin said, nodding, “I'm not exactly going to need to know all this when I get out of here. I promise you, I won't even look at a desert on television.”
M'Lady Three poked her head into the doorway of Natani's hogan and we all turned when she asked, “Are you finished in here?”
“No,” he said.
“Well, that's too bad. Dr. Foreman wants to see them now.”
I looked at Natani. Something in his otherwise impossible to read face frightened me. He wasn't happy for us.
“Now,” M'Lady Three snapped.
We rose and emerged from the hogan to walk to the house.
“How was your lesson from the chief, girls? Think you could survive a day in the desert without your makeup?”
“You survived, didn't you?” I fired back at her.
“Are you saying if 1 did it, you could do it?”
“Maybe.”
She laughed.
“And then again, maybe you didn't survive,” I said.
She stopped smiling and reached out to grab my shoulder and turn me around to face her. “What's that supposed to mean?”
I didn't reply. She kept her eyes fixed on me, the fury so hot between us, Natani could make a fire with a stick he held up in front of our faces.
“Get moving/You haven't changed,” M'Lady Three muttered as we walked. “You haven't improved one bit despite your act. You might have fooled some people around here, Phoebe bird, but not me. Remember that.”
I wanted to turn around and just charge at her and scratch those hateful eyes out, but I kept walking.
To our surprise, Teal was alone in Dr. Foreman's office. She had a crutch and was seated on the sofa. She didn't look up at us but, instead, kept her eyes fixed on the floor. I thought she looked a little thinner and paler, but other than that, not much different.
“Teal!” Robin cried. “How are you? Where have you been?”
“Here,” she said quickly. “Where else?”
“Well, what happened?” Robin asked, sitting beside her.
“Nothing. Dr. Foreman determined that I had a sprained ankle and kept me in one of the rooms.”
“The room with the big bed and canopy?” I asked, slowly lowering myself to the sofa.
She looked at me with small eyes and nodded.
“Didn't she ask you how you sprained it?” Robin questioned.
“She already knew all about it,” Teal said.
“But. . .” Robin looked at me. “She never said anything about it to us. Things haven't changed much, right, Phoebe?”
“I don't know. Have things changed, Teal?” I asked, my eyes drilling into her. She shifted hers away quickly and shrugged.
“What . . .” Robin buttoned her lip as Dr. Foreman marched into the office and sat behind her desk. Suddenly, she looked more like a judge in a courtroom tome.
“Periodically,” she began, "I review the progress my newest girls are making and I send this report to the courts, to the families, so everyone will know what to expect and when to expect it.
“In some ways, many ways,” she continued, looking mainly at me, "you have made great strides in a positive direction. You have learned how to obey rules and you have become somewhat less self-centered.
"Now we are at what I like to call the first of many crossroads. How much faster and further you go in a positive direction will soon be understood, and after that, I will be able to evaluate you and make my report.
'To get right to the point today, the three of you know that I have been very disappointed in your behavior lately. I have waited to see which of you would come forward to tell me about it, which of you has grown in moral capacity to know enough to come to me and confess, to relieve yourself of the guilt you must be carrying.
“I can't tell you how disappointed I am, especially in one of you.” She again looked more at me than she looked at Robin or Teal. "I waited and waited and hoped, but, alas, I realize we have a way yet to go.
“So,” she said, leaning against the desk and folding her arms under her breasts, "let's begin.
“Teal has told me that it was Robin's idea to commit this stupid night foray to spy on your buddies, to climb on a roof and endanger yourselves.”
“What?” Robin cried, practically leaping up.
I looked at Teal, who kept her face turned away from us.
“She's a big liar. She's the one who came up with the idea,” Robin shouted. She poked Teal in the shoulder. “How could you tell her that?”
“None of that,” Dr. Foreman said sharply.
“Well, she's lying, Dr. Foreman.”
“Phoebe,” Dr. Foreman said, “is she lying? Was it her idea?”
Teal turned sharply and looked at me, her face so full of fear, I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I also thought of myself and how I had betrayed her. I wasn't any better than she was, and neither was Robin.
“As a rule I don't like any behind-the-back tattle-tales,” Dr. Foreman said, now firmly fixing her gaze on me. "That's sneaky and it doesn't show me any real growth. You have probably all done something like that in the past, and you know very well that you can put on one face with the authorities and another for your friends. It's deceitful and not the sign of s
omeone who has truly found herself and her moral way.
"Either I hear a confession and an agreement about that from the other two, or one of you or two of you reveal to me this instant whose idea it was.
“Well?” she snapped, rising to her full height and glaring down at us. “Whose idea was it?”
“It wasn't Teal,” I said.
“What?” Robin screamed, spinning on me now.
“It was Gia's idea,” I said quickly. Why it came to me to do that, I couldn't say for sure. I think it was a combination of things. First, it was truly Gia who had put the idea into our heads, and second, assigning blame to someone who was already condemned in Dr. Foreman's mind didn't seem such a terrible thing to do. It was like blaming a murderer on death row for another murder. What difference could it possibly make to him?
Dr. Foreman's eyes grew smaller, darker. “Gia?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation.
“Then why did Teal assign blame to Robin?”
I looked at Teal. “She's more afraid of Gia than she is of Robin. We all are.”
Dr. Foreman held those scrutinizing eyes on me for a long moment. She walked to the front of the desk, folding her arms under her breasts and nodding slightly. I thought she was just going to start screaming at me for being a liar, but something kept her from it.
“Are you saying Gia accompanied the three of you as well that night?”
“Oh, no.”
“Then what are you saying, Phoebe? Gia did this before or she just came up with the idea?”
Robin and Teal were looking at me with faces of hope, both counting on me to come up with the right answers to get us out from under the hot lights of Dr. Foreman's eyes.
“I don't know, Dr. Foreman.”
“You don't know?”
“I can't be sure of anything Gia tells me.” This time I held my gaze and met her perceptive eyes. She knew what I meant.
“Don't make me sound like a prosecutor, Phoebe.”
“I'm not,” I whined.
“Did Gia tell you that she spied on my girls? Yes or no?”
“Not exactly.”
“What?”
“She said Posy had done it,” I told her.
Teal and Robin looked even more shocked at my mention of Posy's name. They turned quickly to see what Dr. Foreman's reaction would be. She looked thoughtful, but not enraged. She turned to Teal and Robin.
“She told you two this as well?”
“Yes, Dr. Foreman,” Teal said quickly. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Phoebe's right. We were all together when she spoke about it and what she said Posy saw. We were just bored and we were told how much fun the buddies were having at their so-called parties, so—”
“I'm not interested in that,” Dr. Foreman snapped, thought again, and walked back to her desk chair. “I'm disappointed.” Then, after a beat of silence during which she looked as troubled as I had ever seen her look, she added, “In all of you.”
After another quiet moment, she looked up sharply at us, wearing a face of utter disgust, and said, “You're dismissed. Return to your quarters until I call for you.”
“You mean, stay in the barn?” Robin asked.
“Are you deaf? Yes. Now go.” Dr. Foreman waved at the door.
The three of us got up slowly and walked out, each of us holding her breath.
Had we escaped a terrible punishment? Dr. Foreman had so wanted to divide the three of us again. I could almost see her tasting the new victory. Surely that was what had disappointed her, but when she was disappointed, she was so depressed and angry, it made Mama's tantrums look like child's play, I thought.
None of us spoke until we were far enough away from the front of the hacienda not to be overheard.
“How could you do that?” Robin began, grabbing Teal so hard, she almost pulled the crutch out from under her. “How could you say I was the one?”
“I didn't know what to say. She had me trapped in that room and it was terrifying. First she was so nice, so thoughtful and concerned, and then she was so angry, I thought she was going to boil me in a big pot, and I was very frightened whenever the buddies came around. I was stuck in that bed and the door was always locked and—”
“Forget about it, Robin,” I said. “You would have given up your mother.”
“Big deal. I'd give her up for a piece of apple pie right now,” she said, still fuming. Then she relaxed and looked at me and smiled. “That was good thinking in there, Phoebe. I didn't remember Gia saying it was Posy who did it, but that was a good idea. It stopped her cold. I could see that.”
“Yeah, thanks for getting me off the hook,” Teal said, limping along. “I'm surprised she let us go so easily. I guess Gia might be right after all. I guess Posy was her daughter.”
I stopped walking. “There was no Posy. She has no daughter. Posy was just someone Gia made up.”
They both stared at me.
“How do you know that for sure?”
“Gia wanted to prove to me that there was a Posy and that she was in the basement.”
“How?”
“I went there with her one night and she tricked me and trapped me below. But it wasn't her fault. Dr. Foreman had her do it.”
“Why?” Teal asked.
I told them about my experience in the basement and the letter.
“You've kept that all to yourself?” Teal complained.
“It wasn't anyone else's business,” I said, “and those were Dr. Foreman's orders.”
“You could have told us anyway.”
“Oh, suddenly you're my new best friends? C'mon, if she told you to keep quiet about something that involved me, you would become a total mute. Don't put on any airs or try to make me feel bad, Teal.”
“She's right,” Robin said, still unforgiving. “You gave me up and I don't care what they did to you.”
“And she's right about what you would have done, too.”
“Okay, so we're not exactly loving friends. What's the difference whether or not Phoebe told us about Gia and the imaginary Posy?” Robin said. “She's right. It had nothing to do with us.”
“Oh, how I hate this place,” Teal moaned.
Robin turned back to me and smiled. “You were even more clever than I first thought, Phoebe. Blaming an imaginary person that Dr. Foreman wanted you to keep secret. What was she going to do? Call you a liar? And in front of us?”
I looked back at the hacienda. “I don't know. Maybe it was smart. Maybe it was the dumbest thing I've done since I was brought here. Whichever it was,” I said, starting along again, "I have the feeling I'm gonna find out soon.
“Maybe sooner than I imagine.”
We continued along, silence like a big black sheet falling over us with just the sound of Teal's crutch poking the dried earth accompanying us back to our barracks.
None of us looked forward to sleeping tonight.
We'd all see those eyes.
Dr. Foreman's eyes at the end of our session, full of the most utter disgust and contempt I had ever seen in the eyes of an adult who was looking at me.
What would cause such rage? I wondered.
And then I thought, perhaps we ... or maybe just I was the first candidate she had ever had that she thought she might fail to make into a Foreman girl after all.
Something told me she would never permit a failure to leave this place.
Even Posy, imagined and unreal, had to be made to disappear.
Broken Wings 2 - Midnight Flight
Marooned
A o our surprise, not only didn't we hear a second shoe drop, but in the morning we were greeted with unexpected gifts. M'Lady One entered with her arms full of clothing. She distributed prettier white blouses and khaki walking shorts as well as new socks and pairs of light brown sneakers. Teal was depressed because we were also provided with new hairbrushes and she had no hair to brush.
“Is this some sort of a reward for work or something?” I asked M'Lady One.
 
; “No, stupid,” she said. “It's a punishment.”
“I almost feel like a human being again,” Robin cried after she put on a blouse and brushed her hair. “These shorts aren't too bad either.”
Teal checked for a label and saw where they were made in China. “Probably fall apart in a day or two,” she muttered, still pining over her shortened hair. “The sneakers aren't bad though.”
I was cautiously happy. Only Gia looked upset about it. She stared at everything as if one of those centipedes Natani had shown us might be lodged in something. All of us were changed and dressed and she hadn't changed into anything yet.
“What's wrong, Gia?” I asked.
“I don't know. This is not like her. I don't know.”
“She probably had the clothes lying around or maybe it's like those prisoner of war camps where someone comes to inspect and she's just getting us ready for it,” Robin suggested. “What do you think, Phoebe?”
I stared at Gia. “I don't know what to think. Maybe it's like the magazines, huh, Gia?”
“Maybe,” she said finally, putting on a blouse. “Maybe it's something more.”
“Maybe it's something more, maybe it's not like her, maybe it's maybe. You can drive someone nuts,” Teal shouted at her. “Why don't you just take it and be grateful and get yourself out of here already? Or don't you want to go home?”
Gia looked at her as if it were a good question. “Maybe I don't.” She turned her back and put on the shorts.
Mindy watched her and then gazed at me with concern.
“Well, I know I do. I'd crawl out on my hands and knees if I had to. Almost did,” Teal reminded us.
“It's not over yet,” Gia said, looking up as she buttoned her shorts. “You may be on your hands and knees yet.”
Teal smirked, shook her head, and sat to put on her new sneakers. “I have about fifty pairs at home, every color you can imagine, every new style.” She sat quietly, remembering.
“Let's go, ladies,” M'Lady Three said from the door. “This morning you're going directly to breakfast. No morning work detail.”
Again, we looked at each other. I began to really wonder if Robin wasn't right. We were going to be inspected by some agency and Dr. Foreman was putting on a shiny new look.