The Proud and The Beast

by Kate Speck

  He leaned in and replied softly, “Wickedly handsome, Lizzy.”

  She could not hold in her snort. “You are certainly full of yourself, Mr. Darcy.” She huffed.

  They walked outside where Bingley immediately escorted Jane to the far side of the gardens.

  Darcy continued his speech with Elizabeth’s hand on his arm. He rubbed it tenderly, “As long as you will speak with me, I will be full of anything you wish. Have I shown you inconstancy? I only wish for you to know me better, Lizzy. I know you more than you are aware. Richard had been my spy and he gave me a full accounting of your family and your personality and your history. I know things about you that you do not even know of yourself.” He teased.

  “And what is that, sir? What could you possibly know about me that I do not know about myself?” Elizabeth inquired, trying to appear affronted but pleased with his easy speech. Indeed, he had fascinated her from the first meeting and seeing this easy, playful side of him had been a pleasant surprise.

  “That you wish to travel and see beautiful places. That you love walking, not for exercise but to discover something new.” He turned his body to face her and look into her beautiful eyes. “That you find me handsome and I was the first man to kiss you and you enjoyed it. That you think of our kiss everyday and it frightens you but it also excites you.”

  “How could you possibly…” Elizabeth’s mouth gaped. “How did you know?” She blushed, realizing that he was correct about it all.

  “Because I know you, Lizzy. My heart knows you; all those things are how I feel about you. Everything you desire and fear, I feel the same.” Darcy stepped closer. “You would have never stopped to help me that day if you did not wish to make a new discovery. You found me interesting and I know you think of me constantly. You would not avoid me so much if you were not so afraid.”

  Elizabeth took a step back and smirked. “And who was the first man to kiss you? Did you enjoy it?” She jokingly retorted.

  Darcy chuckled. “No man. Just a beautiful creature who captured my soul at first sight. Even though my brain was addled and I was hallucinating, I found that beast incomparable to every woman I ever met and could not cease thinking of her.”

  Not wishing to frighten her away, he kept a little distance from her, although he missed having her hand on his arm. “Lizzy, will you dance the first with me at Bingley’s Ball?” He asked carefully.

  “I cannot.” Elizabeth replied.

  “You cannot avoid me forever, Lizzy. I will ask you for every set if you deny me the first.” Darcy entreated.

  Elizabeth laughed. “I cannot because I am dancing the first with Mr. Collins. He heard of the Ball from Aunt Philips and asked me before I was even aware of its planning.”

  “What does he want with you?” Darcy angrily questioned.

  Elizabeth gleamed at his obvious jealousy. “The same thing all men want.” She giggled at seeing Darcy’s face redden further. “To dance with a lady.”

  Darcy could not help but laugh at her reply. You have no idea what all men want, my dear Lizzy.

  Elizabeth asked in return, “Why are you not dancing with Miss Bingley for the first?”

  “Miss Bingley? Why on earth would I dance with her?” Darcy inquired.

  “Well, because… oh. Never mind.” The secret. It is still a secret engagement because he does not remember proposing to her and he does not know she might be carrying his child. Her heart broke at the thought. I never had him and I never will. Stop it, Lizzy! He is my friend’s brother and that is all.

  “I do not plan on dancing with anyone but you, Lizzy. I wish for the first but perhaps the second? And the supper set?”

  “We cannot dance two sets! One is more than enough.” Elizabeth gasped.

  “No, one is not enough. Second and supper. Say yes, Lizzy. Please allow me to show everyone that I wish for your attentions. Everyone will know that I wish to gain your favor.” Darcy implored.

  “One, William! Just one dance.” Elizabeth pleaded in return. She could not abide by Miss Bingley taunting her again with their betrothal and once Mr. Darcy remembered it all, he would have to break their friendship, if this could be called as such.

  Darcy’s heart beat wildly and he looked around to see Bingley quietly conversing with Miss Bennet at a distance and began to drag Elizabeth behind the infamous hedgerows where no one could see them.

  “I said I would agree to one dance! Where are you taking me?” Elizabeth hissed.

  As soon as they ducked behind the tall bushes, Darcy grabbed Elizabeth and began to kiss her fervently. After tongues were entwined and hands pressed each other tightly, and when breaths needed to be inhaled, he finally let her go, resting his forehead on hers.

  “You called me by name, Lizzy. Like Georgiana. Like my parents. Like my wife would. Good lord, I love you so much. I want you so much, Lizzy.” He began to kiss her again.

  Elizabeth succumbed once again to his allurement and returned his kiss ardently. She did not know it by experience but knew enough to realize that Mr. Darcy was very aroused and it brought her joy to be the cause of it. But reality soon began to sink in; she knew he could not offer her marriage and she would not be able to accept anything less. She sighed as she rested her head against his shoulder and embraced him.

  “I did not realize what I called you. I should not have.” She softly whispered.

  “Yes, you should. You should always call me ‘William’, my love.” Darcy felt absolute contentment with her in his arms.

  “We must return. We are not courting and we are behaving most inappropriately.” Elizabeth pulled herself away from his arms.

  “Two dances?” Darcy flirted.

  “One, Mr. Darcy!” Elizabeth‘s eyes twinkled. “The supper set, William.”

  Darcy beamed, hearing his name from her lips again. “As you wish, my love.”

  He kissed her hand as they turned from the hedgerow and placed her hand on his arm. They returned near Bingley and Jane to complete their duty.

  Chapter 10

  “Our dance, milady.” Darcy bowed and proffered his arm.

  He had been irate, watching Mr. Collins step on his beloved’s toes several times and preening, as if that fool had an understanding with her during the first set. Elizabeth was very popular tonight and he understood perfectly well why. She was radiant in her ivory dress with pearls in her hair.

  He burned with jealousy at every dance that she shared with another man and threw furious glances at those she smiled at. Mr. Collins stood near her at every chance and even though he knew their dance was nearing, Darcy was frustrated that she would continue to be at the opposite side of the room whenever she finished a set.

  Finally, the time came for the supper set and he walked towards her. She was standing next to her sister Jane and Darcy scoffed at the idea of finding the blonde pretty at one point. She is nothing to Lizzy. Where Miss Bennet smiles, my Lizzy laughs.

  Elizabeth smiled beautifully at him and stretched out her hand to hold his arm. “Yes, Mr. Darcy. I was waiting for you. I had wondered where you were all night.”

  “Do not tease me, woman. You know exactly where I have been.” He spoke quietly. “You have been avoiding me again but I intend to take full advantage of the supper set and to dine with you. Perhaps I can convince you to dance the last with me.”

  “Oh, no. I do not dance two with anyone, and in fact, my dance card is full. Did you expect me to sit out, to be slighted by gentlemen who would not give consequence to a monstrous beast?” She countered.

  “Good lord, Lizzy. I apologized for my awful, untrue comments already. You know I find you irresistible.” Darcy hissed. “You are the handsomest woman of my acquaintance and have an inner beauty that exceeds all others.” He complimented her as they began to dance.

  Once the dancing began, they had enjoyed moving gracefully together so much that they found no words to match their feelings. They stepped together and separated, returning again to face each other and found t
hemselves in their own world throughout the set, as if all others disappeared around them and they were the only ones dancing at the Ball.

  They stood with only eyes for each other as the music ended. Startled into reality as they were bumped by the dancers retreating to the supper room, Darcy gathered his precious lady on his arm and walked her to the balcony.

  Taking her to a private corner, he held both of her hands and kissed them reverently.

  “My dearest heart, I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. I thought I was seeing a monster before me, which I later realized was my overactive brain conjuring up a character from The Tempest, but once I looked into your eyes, I found my heart’s desire there and I could not stop dreaming of you. Even though I do not remember it all and there is still a whole day of my life unaccounted for, I know my heart and it knows you. I love you, Elizabeth Bennet. I love you with all of my heart and I beg you to consent to be my wife. Please marry me and make me the happiest of men.” Darcy awaited her answer.

  Seeing the tears roll down, he continued, “I do not like to see you cry, Lizzy. I hope these are happy tears.”

  “Oh, William,” she quietly whispered before lowering her head. After several deep breaths, she met his eyes once again and spoke softly. “I am so sorry. I cannot marry you. I dearly wish I could but I cannot.” She began to wipe her face with the back of her hands until Darcy handed her his handkerchief.

  “Why can you not?” Darcy gruffly asked. He felt wounded at her refusal but she had been worth every pain, every heartache, and he was determined to make her love him; to show her that he was worth a chance. “Do you love another?”

  Elizabeth softly smiled. “No, I do not love another. But once you remember, once your memory returns, you will not be able to marry me and you will forget me soon enough. I am expecting a proposal from Mr. Collins soon and I have decided to accept him. He will be master of Longbourn someday and will be respectable.”

  “NO! Surely you are jesting. You cannot marry him! You cannot marry anyone else but me!” Darcy practically shouted. Calming a little, seeing that he was drawing the attention of the few people on the other side of the balcony, he pulled her further behind a tall planter and hid her with his body. “Marry me, Lizzy. I love you. And I know you love me!” He began to kiss her lips but stopped when he did not feel her return it.

  “You will marry that fool and make yourself miserable? Why? If you are mercenary, why not marry me? I have enough wealth for you to fill the bathtub with jewels. Marry me. If you do not love me, marry me for my money. If you want Longbourn, I will find a way to purchase it for you. But, if you do love me,” he cradled his hands around her cheeks, “marry me to save me. I cannot envision my life without you. Even during my recovery, during my slumber, you were always there and I have always needed you. Tell me you love me. Tell me, Lizzy.”

  “I… I cannot…” Elizabeth cried harder. “There are things that you do not remember, William, and it is not my secret to tell. Please believe me that I cannot marry you, not because I do not wish it, but it is impossible for me to accept.”

  Darcy angrily released her and stepped back. “But why must you marry that, that idiot, then?”

  “Because I believe it will help you to get over me. I can continue to be a friend to Georgiana and you will be free to move on with the path you have already begun. I release you, William, from whatever we are to each other. I must go. My family will be looking for me.”

  And within seconds, she was gone.

  *~*~*~*~*~*

  Darcy stood in the cold air for how long he did not know, until he heard the balcony doors open and people began to walk out after partaking their meals.

  He rushed inside to find Lizzy again. He could not let her go yet. He had to see her again.

  He walked from room to room and found all of the Bennets and Mr. Collins, except for Mr. Bennet and Elizabeth.

  Darcy walked over to Jane. “Miss Bennet, I am looking for your sister, Miss Elizabeth. Do you know where I might find her?” He asked as calmly as possible.

  “Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Darcy. She had a terrible headache and my father escorted her home. They left almost half an hour ago.” Jane gently replied.

  Darcy’s heart tore. “Thank you.” He replied and rushed towards his rooms. He tore off his cravat and coat and poured himself a large glass of port. He swallowed it in one gulp and poured another.

  She refused me and left me. She thinks there is some reason that I cannot marry her and that I simply do not remember. And she is going to marry that bumbling fool? She is going to become betrothed to another man and will be lost to me forever. That fool does not deserve her. Damn it. I do not deserve her. I have insulted her and drove her away with my abominable behaviors and although she does not hate me, she does not love me enough to marry me. I cannot stay here. I must leave in the morning.

  After downing his third glass, he called for his valet and told him to inform his sister that they will be departing for London at sunrise.

  Not caring to remove his clothes, he told Wilkins to wake him up early to depart and promptly fell asleep, only to dream of those beautiful eyes again, but this time, they were full of tears.

  Chapter 11

  Georgiana whined, “Why can we not return to Netherfield, William? It has been two weeks and your businesses must be finished by now. Mr. Bingley left last week and I thought we would be returning with him.” She pouted.

  Darcy had been despondent, unable to find pleasure in anything, even the company of his beloved sister. “You sound like a child, like Miss Lydia used to behave, Georgiana. I cannot…” He took a deep breath, “I am needed here a little longer. I received a letter from Bingley that he proposed to Miss Bennet and he has been accepted. After he sends word of when his wedding will take place, we will plan on how quickly we can return to Pemberley.”

  “Oh! I received my letter from Lizzy as well!” Georgiana happily shared.

  Darcy’s ears perked on hearing that name.

  Georgiana continued, “She is so excited about Jane’s wedding, and did Mr. Bingley tell you about the other wedding?” She excitedly asked.

  “I do not wish to hear about it!” Darcy abruptly commanded. He plopped onto his chair and covered his face with both hands. He had not heard about the other wedding. Bingley had only written of his own news and nothing of Lizzy’s. He knew all was lost now.

  Georgiana carefully approached him. “Are you well, brother? Is it your headache again?”

  My heart is broken, Georgiana, Darcy cried on the inside. Quickly wiping his face, he asked his sister quietly, “Perhaps you can call for Hastings. I believe I need to see him again.”

  “But of course, William. I will have Mason call for him right away.” She leaned and tenderly kissed her brother’s head. “I will return shortly.”

  Darcy stared out the window for an eternity until there was a knock on the door. He turned and had not realized that Georgiana had been sitting with him the entire time without speaking. He softly smiled at his gentle sister and bid the doctor to enter.

  “Hastings, thank you for coming to see me.” Darcy shook the young man’s hand.

  “Of course, Darcy. I understand your headache has returned. Miss Darcy.” Dr. Hastings bowed to the young lady and looked over Darcy with his expert eyes.

  “Georgiana, I am in good hands. I will see you for dinner, sister.” Darcy excused his sister to take her leave.

  After the door closed, Darcy immediately began. “Hastings, I needed to talk to you about my hallucinations that I experienced before my injury. I still cannot understand what would cause me to see monsters.” He pulled out the notebook that Richard had begun at Netherfield and showed him his findings. “My memory has begun to return bits and pieces and I do not understand it all, but it seems that my visions began before my fall. I remembered Li… a witness telling me that my horse reared up wildly and then I fell. I vaguely recall being attacked by tree branches that were swinging at m
e and I believe I pulled on the reins too hard to cause the fall.

  “If my delusions began before I hit my head, what in the world could cause such a thing? I had thought I saw things because I hit my head but it does not appear to be the case.” Darcy paced back and forth in front of the fireplace.

  Hastings contemplated Darcy’s story and took several notes himself.

  “Do you have any recollection of anything before the accident?” Hastings asked.

  “Only short bursts. I remembered what book I was reading in the carriage from my travels, a flash of Caroline Bingley trying to compromise me in my room, and Wilkins, my valet, supplied the rest of the event and assured me that she was not successful. Bingley mentioned my being angry the morning after, before I departed for my ride, after drinking coff…” Darcy stood stock-still. “He said Caroline Bingley served me a cup of coffee. Is it possible she put something in it?” Darcy questioned.

  Hastings rubbed his fingers on his chin in deep thought. “Hmm, there are several herbal tonics that could cause such hallucinations. One popular one that is still used by the gypsies is henbane, which is believed to be a magic herb to make love potions. Some believe that it causes the mind to see and feel things that causes one to fall in love, but in higher doses, it could be fatal. If that harridan poured too much of it into your coffee, she could have killed you!”

  “That wretched woman! First she poisons me and then lies to me that I proposed to her and slept with her! She demanded that I marry her and I believe she even stole my mother’s ring. How much more damage can one woman cause?” Darcy fumed.

  Hastings sneered, “She accused you of sleeping with her? How laughable! She is ridiculous. Even though she has some beauty and a large dowry, everyone who knows you, truly knows you, would never believe it. Ever since university, you built yourself a solid reputation of never dallying with anyone.” He chuckled. “Remember the time we coerced you to finally visit that brothel with us?”