Over the Broomstick

by Mara Webb

  I was shaking.

  “I am dead,” I said to myself. “This is a coma dream. This is a ‘she won’t wake up, lying on life support in a hospital bed’ fantasy, this is a mistake.”

  I logged into my credit card accounts, all four of them showed zero balance. They had been paid off, every last one. I started to stagger towards a stool at the breakfast bar and as I sat down something was digging into my leg, a sharp stabbing from the front pocket of my jeans.

  I reached in and pulled out shards of plastic and laid them out on the counter. The plastic was pieces of each of my four credit cards that had been cut apart.

  I logged back into my banking app and the account was still in black, I tapped on the ‘transactions’ tab and saw that I had received a payment yesterday at 5:38 pm from a law firm. Wasn’t that the about time that I had met that lawyer outside my building? ‘Newt & Silver LLP’ it said. What was happening to me? Who do I contact first, the law firm or a mental health institute to take me away and medicate me until all this makes sense?

  I needed to make a plan.

  I put my cell down on the counter and saw a notepad and pen in front of me that hadn’t been there before. Had it? I need to wash my face. A splash of cold water would break me out of this right? I wrote down ‘Newt & Silver LLP’ on the notepad and paused as the pen was jittery in my trembling hands.

  I got up to grab a drink and poured myself a glass of orange juice from the fridge. With two big gulps the glass was empty again. A sugar boost couldn’t hurt. Maybe low blood sugar was affecting my brain. I walked back over to the counter and picked the pen up to make a to-do list but when I looked at the notepad there was something else written now. Underneath the name of the law firm that was written by my unsteady hand was a phone number written in different handwriting. The silence in the house was broken as the glass dropped from my hand and shattered on the floor.

  Cold water, cold water, shake it off. I ran up the stairs to the bathroom and turned the tap on with my face close to the ceramic, water splashed off the sink and against my skin. I held my hands in a bowl shape under the water for a second and threw the pooled water at my closed eyes. I felt my breathing slow down a little from the hyperventilating of a few minutes ago.

  There was a small hand towel on a rail just underneath the sink, so I reached under and grabbed it, holding it to my face and drawing my air in through the cotton. I straightened up with the towel still pressed to my skin.

  It’s ok, deep breaths. Call the lawyers, straighten out the mistake. Call mom, she will help. I dropped the towel away from my face and that is when I saw it. In the mirror I saw my reflection, but I was not alone. Over my right shoulder, clear as day, was Edith.

  I turned quickly to where she was standing, but there was no one there.

  What?

  I turned back to the mirror and again was looking at Edith over my shoulder. She was smiling now in a comforting way.

  “But you’re, they said that you di... are you dead?” I said aloud.

  She isn’t there. You are stressed, you are in her house and she died, and the stress and the shock are making you imagine everything that has happened in the last twenty minutes. Call for help.

  In the mirror, Edith nodded.

  “You’re dead?”

  She nodded again.

  I checked the room, there was nobody there, how was she in the mirror but not in the room?

  “I don’t understand. How are you there but not here? You’re dead, but I can see you. Are you a ghost?”

  She nodded again.

  I dropped to the ground unconscious.

  5

  “Nora, Nora come on now, wake up. You need to wake up.”

  I didn’t recognize the voice but was grateful to be waking up from the nightmare. I opened my eyes and found myself on the bathroom floor of my aunt Edith's house. It wasn’t a dream. This was all happening. Who had spoken to me? There was no one in the bathroom. Had I woken myself up? Something furry brushed against my arm and I jolted myself into an upright seated position and spun around to look.

  There was a cat.

  “Well you obviously weren’t talking to me. There must be someone downstairs or something.” I turned away and started to stand, pulling myself up on the cabinet unit that was built around the sink

  “Just a cat? I didn’t expect you to be so rude,” a voice from behind me said. I looked around but still the only other living thing I could see was the cat. I looked at it, my brow furrowed in confusion. Our eyes were locked, and I leaned in closer, then closer still.

  “Boo,” the cat shouted and then laughed as I screamed. I was halfway down the hall and onto the stairs when he spoke again. “Come back, it was just a joke. Nora, we have a lot to sort out so running off will set us back. We are already behind schedule.”

  I’ve lost my mind. A cat is talking to me and I have lost my mind. Call mom. Lie down outside and wait for help. Don’t touch anything else, don’t speak to anyone. I found my cell phone still on the kitchen counter, unlocked it with my fingerprint and started to dial my mom’s number when the cat jumped up and smacked the phone out of my grasp, it fell onto the ground.

  “You aren’t speaking to me,” I said. “You are a cat. Are you Edith’s cat? I don’t know how you got in here if you're not, so I assume you are and that’s fine. I will feed you if that’s what you are pestering me for, but you have to stop talking because cats don’t talk.”

  The cat sat and listened to my frenzied speech patiently, looking almost bored. It rolled its eyes.

  “Ok, you are dragging this whole thing out so I will cut to the chase. My name is Equinox, don’t get hung up on the name, I don’t like it, but I didn’t get to pick the name so call me Quin. I was actually named a very long time ago and witches have evolved drastically over the last century or so, their familiars get regular names now like Claws or Whiskers.”

  The cat just kept talking but I zoned out. He was rambling. This cat was actually rambling. I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. This was the most ludicrous thing I had ever been a part of. It seemed like every sentence came quicker than the last. The cat was clearly excited to have company.

  “Are you even listening?” Quin was impatient too apparently. “Edith was a witch, an incredibly powerful one, and now that she is dead, her powers have been delivered to you. Your inheritance includes powers, a magical house, one familiar, her fortune, and her seat on the magic council.” I thought he was done, but he added one last thing at great speed. “Oh, and they said she drowned but witches can’t drown. Any questions?”

  “Are you for real? Yes, of course I have questions. What is this? You just told me many unusual things, and the fact that you, a cat, just told them to me is also very bizarre so where do I even start with how many questions I have?”

  I laughed at him and Quin smiled a little too. I think perhaps he could sense what I was feeling and was sharing my experience of the ridiculousness of it all.

  “I don’t know where to begin,” he said. “Let me think. Some things I am allowed to help you with and some things I can’t. Grab a pen.” He gestured towards the notepad and pen I had written on earlier. “Firstly, you need to call this number. I wrote it out for you earlier, but you ran off all sweaty and frightened for some reason. This is the law firm that we use as magical beings, silly right? Only one firm? Hardly a competitive market, really doesn’t give you the option to shop around for a better price. A total sham the whole system isn’t it? The amount they charge too, you wouldn’t even believe…”

  I coughed to get his attention.

  He carried on. “Sorry, yes, too much to get through. This law firm has more details of your inheritance and they keep the texts, books and important scrolls that Edith collected and inherited from your grandmother. It isn’t safe to leave them here unattended but with you living here now they can come back. Let’s do that first, shall we? There is a laptop on your bed.”

  He jumped down from the coun
ter and walked towards the hallway to the staircase, looking back at me and gesturing with his head for me to follow.

  The bedroom that Quin led me to had been Edith’s room. I turned the handle and as Quin jumped up onto the bed I stood in the doorway and marveled at the sight of an enormous bed with the quilt from my apartment spread across it, my movie posters framed and hanging on the walls and other trinkets from my old life that were somehow here in my new one.

  Quin tapped one of his front paws against a laptop that was placed on top of the quilt. “Open this up, the quicker we call Newt & Silver the quicker we can get to work.” I didn’t know what he meant by ‘get to work’ but I was talking to a cat so anything could happen at this point.

  I searched for the law firm and the browser suggested a link for them, this laptop had seemingly been on their website before. A lock screen appeared with a single button in the center with the word ‘access’ written on it. After clicking on it a voice said “Voice recognition required. Please say your key phrase.”

  What now?

  I looked at Quin who was looking right back at me, waiting for me to do something.

  “I don’t know any key phrase!” I said to the cat, at which point the laptop spoke again. ‘Welcome’.

  I was in. Why the key phrase was set to that I have no idea. A spinning wheel in the center of an entirely black screen suggested that something was loading. The screen then burst into full color, a woman's face on the screen started speaking. It was chaos behind her, she appeared to be in an office and people were running around shouting, waving their arms and one man wearing two large leather gloves was thrusting chunks of meat into the air.

  “Good morning Ms. Wildes, how may I help you today?” she asked.

  What do I say? How does she know my name? Do I tell her that a cat told me to call her? I looked over at Quin who was nodding his head towards the laptop prompting me to answer her.

  “Nora, she has all your paperwork. Just tell her what has happened,” Quin said aloud.

  “Oh sorry Ms. Wildes I can see on your account here that you only received your inheritance yesterday, one of our team should have been out to see you this morning in Sucré but we have had a bit of a situation in the office.

  “We had an intern that was in charge of feeding the owls, but he slept in, they have been screeching in protest for about an hour now. It’s all hands-on deck trying to calm them down.” She was half laughing as she spoke, and I now had less idea about what was going on than before. “I see you have your familiar...let me see here…” She was scanning through a large book on her desk, “Equinox, is that right?”

  “It’s Quin and you know I prefer Quin, Linda, so let’s get on with it.” An unhappy cat tail whipped across the bedsheets.

  “Sorry Q, you know I’m just teasing. Ok, ok…” She flipped through the large book again, before launching into a monotonous and lifeless speech.

  “I am sorry to meet with you during your period of bereavement, but now we must discuss the next steps. You have inherited the powers of a Ms. Edith Wildes, a wonderful witch who will be truly missed. You are also now the owner of the house… ’Number 13 Charm Close’ in Sucré, you have your familiar already so...I’ll just skip that bit and...one second...yes ok. You are now a witch, obviously, so...sorry I can’t—woah!”

  She ducked just as a large snowy owl swooped across the screen where her head had just been. “Sorry it is hard to concentrate today. Right, you will be sent book one for your first assignment in a few moments, your tutor should be in touch today and Quin can guide you through that as well of course. The financial transfer is complete as well so that’s done.”

  She now appeared to be ticking things off a list written in front of her. “Other...there’s a box here that says ‘other’...I don’t, hold on. SEAN, WHAT DOES THIS BOX MEAN, ‘OTHER’?” she screamed over her shoulder.

  The man wearing the two leather gloves ran back into view, now holding only one piece of meat and ducking periodically as an owl swooped overhead. “IT MEANS…” He ducked down then popped back up again, “IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER ITEMS THAT THE DECEASED WISHED TO PASS ON, FOR EXAMPLE...” He ducked, Linda ducked, then an owl flew right at their computer and the screen went black. Quin and I sat staring at the laptop for a few moments before accepting that the call was not going to reconnect.

  “Well I think that has cleared up most of it,” Quin laughed. “I think one step at a time is best anyway. Like she said, your books will start to arrive today.”

  A loud thud rang out behind me and I jumped. I turned quickly to identify the source of the sound and saw that in the bay window of the bedroom was a desk. When I had entered the room, I hadn’t noticed it all, but on top of it lay a very large, very heavy looking book.

  “There you go.” Quin pointed towards the desk with his paw. “So, we don’t really do the ‘witches and wizards school for children’, or whatever. That isn’t how it works here, at least not anymore. Only the incredibly wealthy families do that, they have some elite training facility somewhere where they only mix with other witches and wizards. Most other magic folk tend to inherit their powers now, one in each family generally, and then you go through an online adult school for magic. We are all very modern now you know.”

  I don’t think I was following most of what Quin was saying. First of all, a cat was giving me instructions which was such a bizarre idea I’m surprised I wasn’t laughing right into his face. Secondly, I’m a witch? Edith was a witch? Maybe she hadn’t lost her mind after all, maybe I had though.

  This all seemed so ludicrous and fantastical that I decided that until I woke up from this elaborate dream, I may as well play along. Quin had jumped up onto the desk and wrapped his tail neatly around himself as he sat next to the book.

  “This is for your first assignment, you will probably get a call from your tutor today, but you can have a look at this first if you like. It might help you understand what is going on a bit better. I know you will have questions and we will get to them all soon. You haven’t been raised in this community, so you really have to start from scratch.”

  As he spoke, he lifted a paw up and placed it down onto the book, resting near the title. I sat in the chair and pulled myself towards the desk, took a deep breath and opened the book to begin reading page one of ‘Ding Dong your aunt is dead: Now what?’ by Aelric White.

  6

  The book was huge, I couldn’t imagine how I would ever get through it. If I was truly in a dream, then this was becoming drastically less fun by the minute. I had dreamt up a world where I was a witch with homework? That sounded terrible.

  “Quin, what is this for? So far, I have read a lot about inherited magic being delivered to the wrong relative and ending up in the hands of a lunatic that set their ex-boyfriend’s car on fire. How is this relevant to me?” I was feeling exhausted and burying my head in a dusty book full of complicated ideas wasn’t helping keep me awake. It was barely even 11 am. This day was feeling incredibly long.

  “Nora, you need to learn about the history of inherited magic. They obviously include examples of all sorts of incidents, normally it is less eventful than blowing up an aquarium…” I stared at him confused, “...Ah you haven’t gotten to that part yet? Sorry for the spoiler. Anyway, typically the first assignment is based on creating a family tree with key events for each family member. It’s easy, I can help with that one, I have been with your family for generations, so this is where I shine!”

  He stretched up elongating his body and raising his front legs towards the sky, basking in the sunbeam that was shooting powerfully through the bay window by the desk. The laptop on the bed made a ‘ping’ sound to indicate that I had an email.

  “That is probably from the college now, the ‘Online Witch Learning school’, or O.W.L. Something you will learn quickly with this crowd, they love an acronym,” Quin informed me with delight.

  I opened up my email and sure enough there was an email with the subject title
‘Your O.W.L. tutor has been assigned’. As soon as I clicked on the email to open it confetti fired out of the laptop screen and I could hear cheering. Once the little paper shapes had settled on the bed, my hair and Quin’s back, a video started playing from the laptop, a slideshow of photographs of young adults in various robes stirring pots, leaning over crystals and laughing on a lawn eating sandwiches.

  “Welcome dear student to another glorious O.W.L. experience. You were enrolled into O.W.L. by your dearly departed relative before their passing and have now met the entry requirements to begin your training. By now you have received book one of the required reading for your first project, these books appear to you throughout your training at the appropriate times, however, feel free to browse our digital library for more literature.

  “An O.W.L. library loan works the same way as your required reading, the books you request will appear in your home and will be returned to us by you at the end of the loan period. Our penalties for late returns are incredibly painful, so please be mindful of the date it is due back.”

  I looked at Quin with a smirk, the video was funny, right? He shook his head to indicate that it wasn’t an exaggeration or a joke. I made a mental note to buy a desk calendar.

  “Here at O.W.L. we appreciate that many of you have other commitments, so this is a course to be completed with part-time hours. Each week you will receive guidance for your course reading, as well as a compulsory safety quiz that must be successfully completed before receiving your wand. You are under the tutelage of Professor Alse Eastey, it rhymes with ‘else,’ please do not email the student support team asking us how to pronounce her name.