Yeshua's Thief

by R. E. Addison

  He walked outside where he saw Elyam stacking firewood for the oven.

  “Will you let me do the heavy work?”

  “Since when am I so feeble that I can’t do heavy work. Do you think I’m old?”

  “Well, you’re not in your youth anymore, and I can help take care of this kind of stuff.”

  “I like this kind of work. I think you should talk to Rina. She’s cleaning right now and could use a break. And don’t run away this time. She might say something you need to hear,” said Elyam.

  Ezekiel scowled and left. He found Rina in the house cleaning, just as Elyam said. It was funny that he hadn’t noticed her when he walked outside.

  “Are you going to say something or just stand there like a dullard,” said Rina.

  “I’m sorry. For, ah, yesterday. I was not feeling well and . . .” He couldn’t get the words out. He was so disgusted by his own behavior that he didn’t have the words to say.

  “I never told you that I’m . . . glad you came back. It’s nice to have you around again,” said Rina.

  “It’s good to see you too. I see a husband has not snatched you up yet.”

  “Only because I’m holding on to hope that a certain man would take me as his wife.”

  “Does this man know that you want him in your life?”

  “I don’t know. I think he might be a little slow,” said Rina. Her stern face gave the slightest hint of a wry smile.

  “A lot has happened since we were kids.”

  “I know,” Rina said softly.

  “Do you think we could ever just go back?”

  “To what?”

  “To where we were just happy to be near each other.” Ezekiel searched her eyes for a moment. Why didn’t she say anything?

  “No,” said Rina.

  Ezekiel’s heart sank. His mind furiously tried to come up with an explanation for why she said they couldn’t go back. Did she love him? Did she forget all the good times they had? Was she past the point where they could have a future?

  “I love being around you, Ezekiel, but if you’re chasing a feeling, then we will never work. I don’t want someone I have to fix. I want someone who knows who he is and is willing to do what it takes to win me. I don’t want to be someone’s property.”

  Inside Ezekiel wanted to cry. Outwardly he forced a smile and tried not to show his disappointment.

  “You would never be my property. You know I could love you very much.”

  “You don’t even love yourself. How could you ever love me that much?”

  Ezekiel didn’t have an answer for Rina. He knew she was right. Only he knew how wounded he felt at every moment. It was as if someone had poured hot pitch all over him, and the slightest touch hurt. He was closed off from others. He lived inside his head and never allowed his heart to reveal itself. He wanted nothing and everything from his father, who was never there. He wanted to see him one more time, to tell him how he felt and that he had learned to become a man from others and not from him. That he was both proud and ashamed to be his son.

  Now he was standing in front of the only woman he ever loved, unsure if he could love her in the way that she deserved.

  “I’m sorry, Zeke. I don’t know what came over me,” said Rina.

  Ezekiel couldn’t help but show the hurt in his face. And he couldn’t walk away. If he did then Elyam would have been right. He would just run when things turned out wrong. Like his father did. He did not want to be like his father. So, he stood there. He didn’t say anything. He just stood, looking at Rina in disbelief.

  Ezekiel sat down in the middle of the room. He weighed what he would say in his head, but nothing sounded right. All he could do was sit there and wait for the next verbal arrow to pierce his ego again. It didn’t come. Rina stared back at him with those beautiful brown eyes. She had just told him she wanted him to take her as his wife, and in the same interaction she said he couldn’t love her.

  “Please don’t run away again. We all need you, Ezekiel. I need you. I just need you to be the man you could be,” she said in a softer tone. She almost said the words he wanted to hear. Those three words that would have made all the difference. But she didn’t. And he couldn’t bring himself to utter them as well. The silence of the moment was deafening. Rina slowly walked out of the room. Ezekiel smiled. His heart jumped in his chest, a feeling he hadn’t felt since he first held her hand—when he knew he wanted her forever and would do whatever it took to make her his.

  CHAPTER 40

  Two days later, the preparations for Passover were ramping up. Ezekiel once loved this time of year; however, this time he had a feeling. An awful feeling. Like when a parent knows their child is guilty of something and the truth has not come out in the open. Something was wrong. Try as he might, he couldn’t hide behind his fake smile and be charming like his grandfather. How does he do it? he thought. He has the whole world listening to one of his crazy stories, and their troubles melt away. Ezekiel wanted to be like that, but he just couldn’t. His face couldn’t hide the trouble in his heart.

  Still early in the morning, the sunlight was peaking its way through the buildings. Somehow the air felt fresher in the morning. In the city people moved quickly to set up their stands and bring their goods to market. Ezekiel felt a little better. Each breath felt like new life in his lungs, and he was able to push his troubles to the recesses of his mind. The way to Herod’s Temple was relatively quiet as this was a somber week for the Jews—a reminder that the death angel had “passed over” every Hebrew house marked with the blood of a lamb, and a celebration that Yahweh had led them out of slavery and into the Promised Land.

  He had grown accustomed to doing his own thing, working hard and having all the time in the world to himself. Now, with so many people in the household, he felt smothered. He walked along alone with his thoughts for quite some time. He didn’t know what to do now that he didn’t have to be out early in the morning to fish. Work was his outlet. With that out of the way, he felt lost. The work of the household seemed meaningless.

  He thought it might not hurt to buy the animal that would be sacrificed for the sins of the family that week, so he went to the front gate of the Temple. There he saw Yeshua taking vines and braiding them. He was visibly angry.

  “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.”

  “Why not?”

  Yeshua just looked straight ahead and walked through the gates shouting and turning over the tables. His disciples who had already entered the Temple tried to calm him down.

  “It was written that this is supposed to be a house of prayer! Now you have turned it into a den of thieves!” Yeshua shouted. The merchants who were buying and selling began to pick up their coins and merchandise. Some left them there on the Temple floor, too scared to stay. Doves flew from the tables in a circle. Their clipped wings kept them at eye level and they seemed to find the face of everyone who was trying to catch the lambs that were released. Other venders tried to stand in the gate but the sheer number of animals that were released overwhelmed them. Curse words flew as the men tried to redeem the flocks. Ezekiel just stood there amused at the spectacle.

  Yeshua pushed past him, saying, “See, I told you that you don’t want to go in there.” Ezekiel was so surprised that a chuckle came from under his breath. Most of the Jews resented the moneychangers for charging their high prices and taking advantage of the lower classes. Ezekiel decided to go to the outskirts of Jerusalem to buy his animals. It would be the first time in a long time that Elyam, as the head of the family, presented the lambs. Most of the time they had to present doves for they were less expensive.

  It was not long before Ezekiel found a farmer who was selling lambs suitable for the Day of Atonement. He paid his four coins and walked back to their house with the new animal.

  CHAPTER 41

  It was difficult for Hadwin to be so close to his family and yet not allowed to see them. He worked hard, knowing that his only hope was to find himself in Abigail’
s good graces. He knew she relished her control over him, and as long as he did as she wished he would survive long enough for Yeshua to free him. They stayed at the inn, which was just as well. He could clean the stable enough to feel comfortable to sleep, and whatever Abigail was searching for, he hoped she found it soon. Her guards put him in shackles each night. Each morning they released them and went back to sleep as he fed the horses and did their work for them.

  He had learned in this world that if he did more than expected, he would have an easier life. This particular morning, as he was performing his chores, Abigail came to see him.

  “Saddle up my horse. I’m going into the city. I will need you to lead me through, so saddle up two horses.”

  “Shall I wake your guards?”

  “I don’t think so. If you haven’t run yet, then I believe you will stay.”

  “Why are you doing this? You have everything you could possibly want in Tiberias.”

  “I don’t have to answer your questions, slave,” said Abigail.

  Hadwin, unfazed, stated, “If you were going to kill me you would have already done so. Now we are going into Jerusalem looking for a faith healer. What do you need healing from?”

  Abigail stayed silent this time and walked out of the stable to the fresh air outside. Hadwin did as he was told and emerged from the stable with two horses saddled with Roman saddles. Adjusting his cloak as a hood, he led Abigail to the main streets of Jerusalem. The pieces of wood inserted into his earlobes rubbed his neck raw as his horse plodded down the path. The streets were crowded with people who were all looking forward to the final Passover meal and celebration of their release from slavery to the Egyptians.

  Hadwin could see the Temple Mount ahead and knew if Yeshua were still in Jerusalem, he would most likely be somewhere near it. As they neared the Temple, they passed lambs and oxen just roaming the streets. Yeshua and his followers were walking through the streets behind them as if he were driving them away from the Temple. The people around him seemed as if they had witnessed a traumatizing event. Hadwin called out, “Yeshua, my mistress needs your assistance. Will you please talk to her?”

  Yeshua walked over to where they were mounted. Abigail dismounted her horse. Hadwin held her reins as she approached Yeshua.

  Yeshua looked at her and back at Hadwin. “Life has taken a few turns since I last saw you, Hadwin.”

  “Yes, well, we all do what we need to do to survive. Right?”

  Yeshua nodded. “Abigail? Why are you seeking me out?”

  Abigail paused for a moment. “I really don’t know.”

  “I think you do. I believe you are looking for a kind of healing you cannot get anywhere else.”

  Abigail just looked at him. Tears formed as she knelt to the ground. Hadwin could see she was trembling.

  “I felt something when talking to you that I have never felt before.”

  “You have felt it before. It has just been a very long time. You see, Abigail, when you push guilt aside over time you begin to think your behavior is normal.”

  Yeshua signaled his followers to walk away for the moment.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “That is the first true statement I’ve heard coming from you.”

  “What should I do to become good again?”

  “You can’t, Abigail. No one is good enough. But there is a way, and will be coming soon, that you can be good again. Why do you want Hadwin as a bondservant?”

  “I don’t think I can answer that.”

  “When you want to be honest with yourself, then you can be honest with me. That is when we need to talk.”

  Yeshua turned to walk away.

  “Why don’t you command her to release me?” asked Hadwin.

  Yeshua turned to face Hadwin. “When you are ready to leave, you will be released. Remember, there is a purpose. It’s bigger than your reality now.” Hadwin scowled. He didn’t want to be in this position. Still afraid Abigail would hurt his family, Hadwin decided to ride the situation out.

  “So, you want to be released?” said Abigail. “Then know if you are released, I will hunt you down and when you least expect it, your family will fall into an unfortunate accident.” Surprised, Hadwin now realized the real issue for Abigail. Control. She needed to control people so they would love her. She must have never felt anything but conditional love, and now she had conditions for everyone in her life. Immediately, Hadwin worked out an angle of escape that did not involve his family.

  CHAPTER 42

  Ezekiel went home. He mulled in his mind the day’s events. Yeshua angry? It didn’t make sense. I have never seen Yeshua angry like that, he thought. Rina was away, which made his life easier for the moment. Ezekiel looked for Elyam. He found him in the back trying to chop some wood for the fires over Passover.

  “So, I see you have brought our animals.”

  “Yes. Yeshua destroyed the vendors in the Temple. These came from a farm outside of town.”

  “So, have you talked to Rina?”

  “A little.”

  “You have to be braver than that, Ezekiel. The woman is looking for you to be a man.”

  “I don’t think she really loves me. She was willing to marry Asher . . .”

  “Are you dense? Do you not understand what happened? She did that to keep you safe. To keep her family safe. She doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body, but you are making it all about you.”

  “Funny. That’s kind of what she said.”

  “Then listen. Listen for once in your life. Understand she is not going to make the first move. She is waiting for you to forgive her. She is waiting for you to forgive yourself.”

  “Easier said than done,” Ezekiel mumbled.

  “Her, or yourself?”

  “Both. I try to understand why my life has turned out this way. I try to believe in God, but everything in my life pulls me away from really believing. You know?”

  “My dear Ezekiel. God is hope. I believe in God because the alternative seems to be too daunting. I know how God has blessed me. He has blessed you too.”

  “How has God blessed me?”

  “He gave you a strong back and an incredible mind. He made you to do something, that much is clear. Do not close your heart to Him. He has rescued our people time and time again.”

  “And how do you know the Romans are not right? What if there are many gods and they are just as cruel and unjust as people?”

  “Ezekiel, it is normal to question God’s plan. But please, I beg you. Do not dishonor God or his workers. It is God who has blessed our family. Even you.”

  Ezekiel did not feel blessed. In fact, he felt cheated. He felt cheated from all the hard work it took to win Rina, only to have felt her rejection. He felt cheated by living for one set of values only to have people look down their noses at him for being the son of a known thief. He felt cheated because he had to take care of his mother, because his father left them at an early age to fight his war on the Romans. He also felt something else. Guilt. He left Hadwin to live the life of a slave. He disowned his father to save his and his mother’s life. He felt guilty because he entertained the thought of killing Asher. And now all of it was boiling like a cauldron in his heart.

  “I don’t feel blessed,” said Ezekiel.

  “Well, we put too much emphasis on our feelings,” said Elyam.

  “When you started your fishing business, did you feel like going out on the water every morning?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Then why did you go out every morning?”

  “Because if I didn’t our family would not have food.”

  “Right. You knew that the work was worth it even though you felt otherwise. Rina is special . . . Why are you giving up on her again?” said Elyam.

  “I don’t know. I am just not in that place right now.”

  “Well, you know where the place is. Walk over and get in it. She is the best thing that could ever happen to you.”

  �
�Why do you keep trying to put us together? Why does it matter to you?”

  “Because I have not seen my grandson happy since you have been here. Ezekiel, you act as if you do not love her but everything you do speaks of a man who is in love. I will say it again. You cannot do better than Rina.”

  “And what if I’m not the problem. What if it is her? Did you ever think of that?”

  “It’s not her, Ezekiel. You know I would do anything for you. But you have your father’s stubbornness. She loves you. You just have to figure out how to speak her language.”

  Ezekiel felt compelled to tell Elyam the whole story. It almost slipped out. But he held his tongue. Elyam does not need to know that Hadwin is alive and that he is in servitude to Abigail, he thought.

  The rest of the day slipped by without incident. Remembering the nuances of his lies left Ezekiel exhausted. Why did Abigail spare his life and give him the dagger? It did not make sense. This was the woman bent on killing Hadwin and avenging her brother. It would have been her right to kill them both when they attempted the ambush. They had two days until the Passover meal. The prep was done; the only things left were for Elyam to take two of the lambs to the Temple to sacrifice for the families, and they would search the household ceremonially to make sure there was no leavening agent in the house. Until then, it was life as usual.

  Ezekiel sat on a bench letting his mind roam to the possibilities that Elyam was right. He had let fear keep him from the woman he wanted for life. He was closed off. The worst part of it was that he didn’t know how to open up again. It was not like he didn’t have money. He did. He was wanting to invest it in lands and maybe a vineyard or three. He didn’t want to go back to fishing. He was tired of his fortune being made on the winds and the tides instead of steady work. Now he feared he was becoming lazy. He decided, once Passover week was done, he would find a merchant or carpenter to work for. The carpenters in Jerusalem worked with wood and stone. He could learn something, and it would keep him busy.