The Paramedic's Secret Son

by Rachel Dove

  ‘Purdie!’ he said out loud, loud enough for everyone to hear. ‘You are a sight for sore eyes.’

  Purdie came running over, enveloping him in a perfume-soaked hug. Harry was taken aback for a second but wrapped his arms around his old friend. Their old friend.

  ‘So,’ she said when she finally released him. ‘Finally saw sense and came home, eh? Good to be back?’

  Annabel’s office door slammed behind them, and the remaining onlookers moved on. Purdie raised a thick dark brow at him, nodding towards the door. ‘That well, eh?’ She pulled him in for another hug and as he leaned in she whispered in his ear, ‘Give her time, Harry; it’s been a bit of a year for her.’

  He opened his mouth in shock. ‘How do you know what I’m thinking?’

  Purdie slapped him on the arm as they pulled away from each other. She straightened his uniform like a proud mother hen. ‘I know you kids, remember? You’re made for each other. Just give her space.’

  Harry pulled a face. ‘I sort of think that was the issue in the first place.’

  He got another slap for that one.

  ‘I know, and you upset a lot of people around here, but some things just need to be done. I know you meant well. Life’s messy, Harrison Carter.’ She gave him her sternest look as she turned to go home, bag and coat in hand. ‘It’s time to clear up that mess, once and for all. You good, all healed?’ She said this more softly, and he frowned at her question. Purdie was one of the few people who knew about his earlier diagnosis—she’d been working in Oncology at the time.

  Was he all healed? Physically, sure, but the heart took a little longer to mend. Especially when a huge piece of it was missing.

  ‘I’m good,’ he said eventually, and she left happy. Harry found himself alone in the corridor, staring at Annabel’s office door as though it was the entrance to heaven and he’d been hell-raising half his life. He could walk through that door right now, tell her the whole truth about why he’d left, convince her that he was here to stay. Make her believe him, that his running days were over for good. That finding out about Aidan had made him so happy, so utterly happy.

  His childhood sweetheart had loved him enough, even after what he did, to raise his child and keep his name out of it. She could have done a million different things to strike back at him, and understandably so, but she hadn’t. She’d even looked after his dad when his own son had never really known how. He knew he didn’t deserve her, but he wanted her to look at him the way she used to. As if the sun and moon rose and fell with him. The way that he still looked at her. When she wasn’t looking, anyway.

  He stopped in front of the door, his hand raised in a fist, ready to knock. He could hear her moving about inside; she was so close now, just at the other side of the wood. He wanted to tell her how he felt, why he’d left—everything. Earlier it hadn’t been the right moment, but he had to make one. He couldn’t keep it inside him any longer. He wanted her to know the real reason he’d left. That leaving had torn him apart just as much as it had her. He wanted to meet his son too, but he understood why she was reluctant to let him. He’d destroyed her life back then, and he couldn’t blame her for wanting to avoid that all over again. She was still there though, under her new tougher exterior. He knew she was still there; he just needed her to trust him again.

  Pushing his hands into his pockets to stop himself from banging on the door and declaring his intentions, he summoned the energy to walk away. He needed her to see that he wasn’t going anywhere. He needed to prove to his family that he was back, and he wasn’t going anywhere again. Which reminded him; he had something to take care of himself. After he’d told his father about his cancer, Abe had implored him to get checked over now he was in the UK. Ever the GP, but he had a point. He needed to make sure he stayed well, so he could finally, after so long, claim his life back. He just hoped that Annabel would be interested in his plans. He couldn’t help but get the feeling that it might just be too late.

  He had almost reached his rental car when his phone buzzed with a text. Annabel. His heart thudded loud and hard in his ears as he opened it up.

  Aidan is due a visit to Abe’s. If you are there at seven tonight, you can meet him. My terms. He doesn’t know, and I want it kept that way, for now at least. You get one chance, Harry. Don’t blow it.

  * * *

  Harry didn’t even remember the drive home. When he walked into his dad’s house later that evening, his face flushed with happiness, arms filled with shopping bags, Abe just raised a brow at him from his easy chair.

  * * *

  ‘You got a date?’ The television was on in the background, a steaming mug of tea by his side. It felt as if he’d just come home from school; the wave of nostalgia hit Harry as soon as he walked in.

  ‘Annabel said that I could meet Aidan, not as his dad yet, but still. I got a few things on the way home, snacks and a few games.’

  Abe chuckled. ‘We have food, you know, and games.’ He looked as if he was enjoying all this.

  ‘I know, but I wanted to make an effort, you know. They’ll be here soon. What do you normally do?’

  ‘Well, we eat and watch a bit of television. If it’s nice we have a walk. Aidan generally takes the lead. He’s a good kid. You make that appointment yet?’ Their liquor cabinet talk had really been a bare-all for the two Carter men. His dad had cried and held his son close. It had thawed them a little, but now the doctor in him was getting bossy already.

  ‘Not yet, but I will, I promise. Time got away from me today. Dad, has Aidan never asked you if you were his real grandfather, or asked about his father?’

  Abe looked away then, muttering something about changing the subject and asking silly questions, and Harry knew why. ‘I get it—I left. I just wondered, that’s all. I’ll just put all this away. Is Annabel staying too?’

  He’d realised, walking around the aisles in the shop, that she hadn’t said in her text whether it was just Aidan who was visiting. That had sent him into a spiral as he’d considered where she could be going. A date, maybe? He didn’t dwell on that for too long; he didn’t want to think about another man raising his son or loving his girl. She’d given no indication that she even was dating. He knew he had no real rights here, but the second Annabel had told him about their son, before even, he hadn’t been able to stop the fire he felt inside him. The same fire he’d felt when he’d received that voicemail. He just needed to find a way to stoke the embers in Annabel’s heart. If enough still remained. He’d told her he’d been on a few dates, which was true, but he wanted her to know that no one had measured up to her. Not that he’d been looking. He’d always just felt as if he was hers, in a weird way.

  ‘Nope,’ Abe said easily, his focus already back on his TV show. ‘She’s got a lot of work to do at the house.’

  ‘The house?’ Aidan checked. ‘You mean her mum’s old place?’

  Abe looked over the top of his glasses at his son.

  ‘No. She bought the dream house, Harry. You two really need to talk.’

  Harry remembered them passing that house today, seeing the sold sign out front. Another cog clicked into place. She’d brushed him off when he’d spoken about it. He’d assumed it was too painful to think of. He realised now she’d been avoiding the truth.

  ‘She never said.’

  Abe’s glasses bumped up his nose, taken along for the ride by his raised brows.

  ‘I wonder why. Not exactly an open book these days, is she? It’s a bit of a shack, to be honest; she has her work cut out for her. Especially working full-time, and with Aidan. But that’s Annabel, right? She’s never shied away from anything.’

  Harry’s shoulders slumped and he headed to the kitchen to get ready for Aidan’s arrival. ‘I get it, Dad,’ he said half to himself, half to the occupant of the other room. ‘She’s amazing and I screwed up. I get it.’ He pulled out one of the board games he’d
bought, one he’d enjoyed as a kid. ‘I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m not a father. You don’t need to fill me in. I’m all up to speed on my failings.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t be such a prickly pear. I get why you left now, you know that. You think I had it all figured out when you came along?’ Abe was in the kitchen doorway now, and Harry sat down on one of the breakfast bar stools. He felt so damn tired. ‘When your mum passed, I had no clue. I regret a lot of things, son, but never you. I don’t always understand you, but I know you loved Annabel back then.’ He walked over, patting Harry’s hand as he took a seat. ‘And now, I’m betting. She hasn’t exactly been busy on the man front either, not for lack of her friends trying over the years. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a father. You didn’t know, and you can’t be mad at Annabel for that either. You’re a brand-new dad. It’s up to you now what sort of father you are.’

  ‘I’m not mad at her.’ Harry felt the need to defend Annabel even now. ‘I left you all. She did what she thought was best.’ He thought of how he might have taken the news if she had called back then. He’d been living in another country, not working at saving lives but fighting for his own. He wouldn’t have been much help, and knowing his family were so far away would have killed him harder than the cancer wanted to. He’d won that battle, and now he needed to fight for his life once more. The one he’d never wanted to leave behind in the first place. He just had even more to fight for than he’d thought, and it made him all the more determined to do it.

  Abe nodded in agreement. ‘She did, and keeping that secret cost her a lot. You know how people talk. They love a bit of dirty laundry, a juicy bit of gossip. She tarnished her own reputation a little, so as not to take any more shine off yours. She’s loyal to a fault. If you really want her back, son, you need to prove it to her. And Aidan.’

  ‘No pressure then.’

  Abe laughed, patting his hand again. ‘You can do it, Harry. I’ll help.’ Reaching his arm across, he hugged his son to him and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. ‘I’m glad you came home.’

  Harry hugged his father to him, marvelling at the change in him. Maybe time and distance, along with the truth, had healed some of their old niggles. An ointment on old wounds.

  ‘Me too, Dad,’ Harry said honestly. ‘Me too. Let’s get ready for the little guy.’

  CHAPTER THREE

  ANNABEL PARKED HER car outside Abe’s house and looked out of the window, a deep sigh leaving her as she steeled herself for this momentous event.

  ‘What’s wrong, Mummy?’ Aidan, sitting in the back seat with a pair of headphones half hanging off his ears, took off his seatbelt and wrapped his little arm around her shoulder. She could hear his favourite anime cartoons playing through the ear buds attached to his tablet. She turned and gave him her best ‘everything’s okay’ smile.

  ‘Nothing, kiddo, just a long day. You know I can’t stay tonight, right? I have a guy coming to the house to look at the back garden.’ She wanted to get it overhauled. It had been a lovely garden once, but it had got too much for the previous owner. Annabel had big plans. A patio so her station family could come for barbecues while the kids played on the play equipment she knew Aidan would love. She wanted a little vegetable patch so she and Aidan could grow their own food, something to do together. Her mother had always wanted one, and the balcony of their old flat had always had something growing, every bit of space used cleverly for home-grown fruit and vegetables. Doing it together, like she used to do with her own mum, would be family time well spent.

  Aidan was so proud of his mum for the job she did; he was a great kid. Their quality time meant a lot, and having a garden was a huge plus to the house. The landscape gardener had been kind enough to meet her after work, though the timing could have been better. Leaving Aidan with Abe and Harry was so weird; she couldn’t get her head around it. After the call today though, with Diane and baby Izzy, she figured Aidan knowing Harry might be a good thing after all.

  ‘Listen, Granddad has someone living with him at the moment. Remember the photos of his son that you see around the house?’

  Aidan nodded at her slowly, his eyes wide. ‘He came home from far away? Really?’

  ‘He did, so he’s going to be there tonight. That okay?’ She brushed his fringe away from his little face, the freckles across his nose matching her own. ‘He’s nice, and he works with me now, so you might be seeing him around for a bit.’

  ‘Because Uncle Tom is getting me some cousins?’

  Aidan had always loved being around people. He’d asked for a baby brother or sister for the last three Christmases. She was hoping that once the house was done she could get him a pet, stop the awkward questions. Tom and Lloyd having babies around would be great too, and she was looking forward to babysitting for them. She’d loved being a mum to Aidan right from the start, even though it was hard and lonely at times.

  She felt the old feelings of resentment towards Harry creep into her thoughts, and she pushed them away. The last thing she wanted was for Aidan to pick up on any tension, and she found that the anger wasn’t as strong as before. It helped that he’d told her he had only been on a couple of dates, but was that true? She had always wondered whether he had met someone over there. It had been a long time, and he was a hot single man. She could see what a catch he would have been over there, single and available. Was it really just a few dates?

  ‘That’s right, so Harry has come to work with me now, in Tom’s job.’

  Aidan gave her a little side look. ‘Is he your best friend? Where has he been? What does he look like? Does he have a girlfriend? Is he staying forever?’

  Annabel laughed, getting out of the car and opening Aidan’s door. ‘Wow, what’s with all the questions today? Let’s get you inside, I’m going to be late at this rate. I won’t be too long, and I’m on a day off soon. We can do something. Cinema, maybe?’

  Aidan nodded distractedly, already running through the flowerbeds to Abe’s front door.

  ‘Hey, wait up!’

  The door opened just as he reached it, and Aidan crashed straight into Harry’s legs.

  ‘Hey, hello!’ Harry caught him and righted him on his feet. ‘You must be Aidan. I’m Harry.’

  Annabel saw the shake in Harry’s hand as he held it out to her son. Their son. Aidan stood frozen for a long minute before putting his hand into Harry’s. Annabel felt as if she was going to pass out, but she held it together. Aidan turned and beamed at her. She tried not to catch Harry’s eye, but they met anyway. She had half expected to see anger there, or fear, but all she saw was his happiness. He mouthed ‘Thank you’ to her, but she didn’t respond. She felt as though she was rooted to the spot.

  ‘Aidan, be good, okay? I’ll be back soon.’

  ‘Bye, Mum. Granddad, I’m here!’ He was off indoors, leaving the pair of them standing at opposite ends of the path.

  ‘Thanks for bringing him. Do you want some supper saving? I think we went a little overboard on the food.’

  She opened her mouth to say no, but stopped herself. She needed to get on with him. She needed to squash down her feelings from the past, all of them. Good and bad.

  ‘You know what, that would actually be great. I haven’t eaten since lunch. I won’t be more than a couple of hours.’

  Harry nodded, his lopsided grin making him look like the boy she’d once known. ‘Great. See you soon.’ She was about to open her car door when he called out to her, ‘Annie?’

  She turned, leaning against her car door to face him. In the faded daylight, he was framed by the light coming from inside the house. She squashed down the feelings of attraction that stirred within her.

  Why does he have to be so darned cute? I’m pretty sure that there should be some kind of rule for this kind of thing. Once someone stomps on your heart, they should suddenly lose all charm for the person who was lef
t. He had to come back all put together and hot. Why can’t he be fat, or balding? An extra chin or two wouldn’t go amiss.

  ‘Will you meet me tomorrow? We’re both off shift.’

  The fact that he now knew her timetable should have irked her, but they were working partners now, needing to be on the same shifts while his probationary period was ongoing. Annabel was torn over it. Did she want him to stay after? Would he want to stay after? It was exhausting trying to work out how she felt, to guess what the future might hold. So she did what she did best. She protected her heart.

  ‘I have a bit of a full day, Harry; you know what time off is like. I have a ton of stuff to do—’

  ‘At the dream house?’ He said it softly. Not an accusation, a soft question. Annabel felt her whole body deflate. She leaned against her car for a moment, steadying herself.

  ‘I don’t want to fight, Harry.’

  ‘You said you would listen to me. I just want to talk.’

  He was heading down the path towards her before she could react, pulling the door shut behind him. He stopped right in front of her. The proximity of him made her heart flutter in her chest. She could just reach out and touch him, right now. Her hands tingled with the urge to touch her fingers to his chest. She used to love to run her fingers through his hair before pulling his mouth down to hers. She crossed her arms for lack of anything else to do with them. In the same moment, he shifted from one foot to the other and pushed his hands into his back pockets.

  Was he feeling it too? It felt like a lot more than muscle memory.

  She ached to bridge the gap between them, but it wasn’t her who had put it there in the first place.

  ‘I don’t want to fight either. You asked me to come home, remember?’