The Hacker and his Heart's Desire

by James, Rebecca;

  Again, I hesitated. “I am thrilled you’re so happy with my work, Mr. Bruder, but I don’t think I’ll have the time. My schedule is filling up.”

  “Karl, please. I assure you, I’ll make it well worth your time.” He watched me levelly with dark eyes.

  Cane had warned me off his cousin, and I frankly didn’t like the way Bruder automatically thought money solved everything, not to mention how he’d left very little physical space between us as I waited for the elevator, his big body blocking me from the rest of the hallway in a very intimidating manner.

  “It’s important that I hire someone I can trust, and as I said, I will make it worth your while,” Bruder said.

  I reached to the side and pressed the button for the elevator again just as Bruder named a very large figure—one that would go a long way in helping me meet my mother’s demands. But I trusted Cane.

  The elevator doors slid open, and I stepped on. Turning, I replied coolly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn you down. It was nice doing business with you, Mr. Bruder.” The doors closed and, a little shaken, I took a deep breath. Even without Cane’s warning, Bruder had shady written all over him, and I felt in my gut I’d done the right thing.

  So why did I feel so shitty about it? Probably all that money you’re giving up, the devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear. I could have made a down payment on a place for my mother back in Italy with that much money. Why in the hell did Bruder want me so much? People who did what I did were a dime a dozen and would certainly clamber over one another for the amount of money he was offering.

  Hungry, I walked to a nearby deli, arriving just before the clouds that had gathered all morning unloaded a torrent of icy rain, pelting the sidewalk and sending pedestrians scrambling into shops or under the nearest overhangs.

  The deli was welcoming and warm, and I ordered at the counter before taking my lunch to a table by the window and shedding my jacket. As I sat eating, I mentally went over my conversation with Bruder.

  My cell phone vibrated, and I looked at the screen.

  Dallas Spencer.

  “Hello?”

  “Tony. I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.”

  I wiped my fingers on a paper napkin. “No. I’m just grabbing a bite to eat after a business meeting. How are you?”

  “Damn. I was hoping you could meet me for lunch.”

  “Sorry,” I said.

  “That’s what I get for a last minute idea. Another time, maybe?”

  I considered. I liked Dallas well enough, but did I want to go out with him again? He’d been pretty into kissing me after our date, but I just hadn’t felt a spark.

  “I think I’m going to have to turn you down on that, Dallas,” I said. “I like you, I really do, but after our date, I realized I’m just not ready to see someone on a regular basis.”

  The rest of the conversation was a little awkward. I hated turning people down, but I knew seeing Dallas for lunch would just give him the wrong idea. I didn’t want to sleep with him, and I knew he wanted that from me.

  We disconnected, and I continued eating, staring out the window unseeingly until my phone vibrated again. Deep in my thoughts, I answered without looking at the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “I’m surprised you answered.”

  “Mom. I don’t avoid your calls.” Often. Talking to her was just so draining, and I always felt like shit afterward.

  “Oh, I’m sure you’re just so involved in your life in New York City, you can’t spare a thought for your mother.” She sounded like she’d been drinking, and I inwardly sighed. The booze made her a million times worse. “Do you know what today is, Antonio?”

  Before I could think, my mother continued, “Of course you don’t. You don’t have any thought for what you did to your father. But he was the love of my life and all I can think of. Especially today.”

  “Mom, have you had too much to drink?”

  “Of course I have! Alcohol is all I have left, but I suppose you’d like to take that away from me too. You’re selfish, Anthony. You were always trying to take your father away from me.”

  That was simply not true. If anything, she’d done her best to keep my father away from me. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she hung up. She must have been on her home phone rather than her cell because the disconnect hurt my ear. When the screen cleared on my cell phone, the date appeared, and I sat for a long moment, guilt weighing down my heart. The absence of my father had been an ache that had been with me since the day he’d died, yet the date had crept up without my noticing.

  I swallowed, mouth dry, and reached for my glass of water, wishing for the millionth time that I could go back in time and change what I had done.

  ****

  By the time I got back to the clubhouse, I’d worked myself into an emotional mess. Parking my bike in the driveway, I walked around the house and down the small side street to the warehouse, seeking out the comforting presence of my club leader.

  Inside, the place bustled between scenes. Spotting Nick, I made my way to him.

  “You look awful,” he said when he saw me.

  “I feel awful. Happen to know where Blaze is?”

  Nick jerked his head toward the office. “In there. Are you okay?”

  I smiled wanly. “Yeah.” I moved to the office door and knocked. When I heard Blaze’s faint, “Come in,” I turned the knob.

  Blaze sat at his desk piled with photos, papers, and folders. Although Nick was good at his job, Blaze refused to let him in there to organize. He was on the phone and held one finger up to let me know he’d be a minute. I closed the door and sat down in one of the two old vinyl chairs.

  “That’ll be good, Wallace. See you then.” Blaze disconnected and looked at me.

  “That the leader of the Pistons?” I asked.

  “Yeah. He’s got the rest of the money he owes us. So if you need some—”

  I shook my head, pressing my lips together.

  “Hey,” he said, rising from his chair. “Something the matter? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

  At his words, my eyes filled with tears, and I crumbled.

  “Tony?” Blaze came around his desk and crouched in front of me. “What happened?”

  “My mother called,” I said hoarsely, fighting back the sob trying to get out. Her words had hurt me more than I wished they were capable.

  Blaze laid his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “Is she all right?”

  I nodded. “We just argued. I’m sorry. Today’s the anniversary of my father’s heart attack. She called to remind me. I just needed...” I shook my head.

  Blaze didn’t know the whole story with my parents, and I didn’t want him to know. He never pressed, just offered support when I needed it.

  He cupped my cheek. “It’s okay. You can always come to me; you know that. We’re family.”

  I nodded. Blaze offered me tissues, and I blew my nose.

  “Most of the time I’m fine. I just really miss him today.” And my mother knew how to push my buttons on the subject. Every time I talked to her was a hurtful reminder of the mistake I’d made and how she would never love me as a mother should.

  “Of course you do. I miss my dad all the time. And Tim.”

  I nodded again. Blaze had never known his mother but had lost his older brother, the Hedonists’ former president, just months after their father had died of a heart attack. His aunt Shirley was his only blood relative he had left, other than her son, Elvin, who was serving two life sentences in prison for murdering two cops.

  I wiped at my eyes, and Blaze and I shared the silence for a while, his hand resting comfortingly on the back of my neck.

  Finally, I took a deep breath and stood.

  “Thanks. Sorry about that.”

  Blaze pulled me into a hug I sorely needed. “You don’t need to apologize. If I can help in any way…”

  “You have just by being here for me.” I hugged him ha
rd before backing toward the door. “Thanks for this.”

  “Anytime. You know that.”

  I wiped furiously at my eyes with the tissue before opening the door. I looked back at him. “Really. Thanks, Boss.”

  “Stop thanking me, man.” Blaze squeezed my shoulder and gave me a gentle shove out the door.

  Outside his office, I came face to face with Cane, and shit, I didn’t want him to see me looking like I did. I started to walk around him, but he grabbed my arm.

  “Hey. What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  His grip tightened. “Tell me.”

  I met his gaze, wanting more than anything to throw myself into his arms. I allowed him to tug me into the small room he used to sleep in and watched him shut the door. Eyes stinging with unshed tears, I looked around at the cot and chair that were the only furnishings in the room.

  A gentle touch to my face made me jump.

  “Tell me why you’ve been crying,” Cane said.

  I shifted my gaze. “It’s…personal. I needed to talk to Blaze.”

  Cane withdrew his hand, and when I glanced at him, I thought I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. I had to have imagined it.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  My eyes ran over him. He wore a faded pair of blue jeans that fit him very well and a navy button-down shirt that made his eyes look such a deep blue in his tanned face, they took my breath away. I stepped back to put space between us. My body was so aware of his presence it thrummed.

  I nodded. “I will be. Um, this has nothing to do with why I’m upset, but your cousin offered me a job along with a ridiculous sum of money to do it. I turned him down.”

  Cane visibly relaxed. “Thank you.”

  I shrugged. “He’s a creep. I wouldn’t have taken it even if you hadn’t warned me off him.”

  Cane’s eyes shuttered. “Well, good.”

  “I just don’t understand why he was so intent on giving me the job,” I said.

  He frowned. “Karl would like nothing better than to hurt me.”

  “I have to go,” I said and quickly slipped out the door, more hurt that my working with his cousin was so abhorrent to him than I wanted him to know.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Cane

  I sat in my cousin’s elegant living area, a gorgeous view of the city lit up outside the windows. A light snow coated the balcony. Karl sat on the couch, a glass of bourbon in his hand.

  “Loosen up, Cane,” Karl said. “You’re wound up tighter than a drum. Makes it hard to enjoy my drink.”

  I drained the vodka in my glass, shook the ice, and drank again.

  “Where’s Shika?” I asked just to have something to say. I was convinced Karl instigated these long silences just to make me uncomfortable.

  “Visiting her family in Hoboken.”

  He put down his glass and, leaning forward, leveled a look at me. “You did well getting Evan into the club, even if you didn’t manage a place for Sam. Evan’s increased clients for After Hours exponentially.”

  Surprised at the unusual praise, I nodded at him and waited for the other shoe to drop. It only took seconds.

  Karl smiled—something I never trusted. “You did so well I am entrusting you with something very important. There’s a dancer that I want for After Hours.”

  My stomach lurched. “Who?” I asked, although I knew. I just knew.

  “Long blond hair. Very popular on the pole. Works three nights a week.”

  I shook my head, keeping my face empty of emotion. “I don’t know him.”

  The coffee table shook under the force of Karl’s fist hitting it. Eyes narrowed, he said low and ominously, “You must think I’m stupid. Do you, Cane?” He leaned over the table. “Do you think I’m stupid enough to think you don’t know a man who lives in the same house you do?”

  I struggled to remain calm. “He’ll never go for it.”

  “He doesn’t have to. I want you to take him.”

  My blood turned to ice.

  “What do you mean, take him?”

  “You know very well what I mean. You pretend like ignoring what we do keeps you from being complicit, but it doesn’t. You know about the drugs. You know about the weapons.” He paused. “And you know about the human cargo.”

  My guts turned to water and bile rose in my throat. I shook my head, swallowing hard. “W-what?”

  Karl laughed harshly. “Don’t play stupid. I know my father had to have let you in on it. All that work in his office. I’m not an imbecile!” His face had gone dark red and his voice had risen to a shrill shout. Did Karl actually think his father had favored me in some way? That he’d been grooming me for something?

  I shook my head again. “You’re wrong. He never told me anything. God, he never would.”

  Karl calmed enough to finish off his drink.

  “I don’t want to be involved in any of this,” I said, voice strained, the horror of what he’d said seeping into my very bones.

  “What you want is to do as I say. I know of another pretty blond boy who would do just as well in Lake Adams’ place.”

  My heart pounded in my ears. Tony. He would take Tony—of course he would. He was angry that Tony had turned down the job offer. I swallowed. I’d beg if I had to.

  “Please leave my friends out of your business.”

  “Our business, Cane. It’s our business, our world, and don’t you forget it.” He leaned back into the sofa cushions and continued to look at me with malice. “From here on out, you do as I tell you to do. If I want your pretty blond friend to work for me, you get him to do it. Understood?”

  I floundered for a moment, unsure. When it became clear what Karl was saying, though, relief flooded through me. This was a power play. Karl wasn’t planning on selling Tony or Lake on the sex market—not if he got what he wanted. In one fell swoop he’d reminded me he held all the cards, and he’d insured he’d get what he wanted.

  But I had to make sure. “And if I convince Tony, you’ll leave them out of…everything else? I have your word?”

  Karl’s lips curled upward. “We’re family. You shouldn’t even have to ask. You’ll bring Tony around tomorrow?”

  I nodded, fully aware of how pleased he was at having gotten the best of me. My pride stung, but I’d protected Lake and Tony from a fate worse than death.

  Karl stood. “I need to go to the nursery.”

  That was definitely my cue to leave.

  ****

  “Tony, are you awake?”

  As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realized Hung wasn’t in his bed. I walked into the room and quietly closed the door.

  On the single bed closest to the door, Tony lay curled on his stomach, sleep pants dragged low on his hips. My eyes lingered on his round ass before I tentatively rested my hand on his bare back. He immediately jerked awake and rolled over.

  Looking up at me with his sleepy eyes, blond curls tussled, he couldn’t have appeared more inviting. At that moment I knew I would protect him at any cost.

  “What the hell?” Tony’s voice was hoarse from sleep. “Cane? Is something the matter?” He scooted back to lean against the headboard and switched on the bedside lamp.

  My eyes roamed over his bare chest, lingering on the tight muscles of his abdomen before jerking back up to his face. If he’d noticed, he didn’t show it. I sat down on the edge of the bed.

  “I need to talk to you about something important.”

  “Now?” Tony squinted at the digital clock on the nightstand. “It’s nearly two a.m.” He kept his voice low, undoubtedly not wanting to wake the others through the paper thin walls.

  “I need you to call Karl tomorrow and agree to work for him,” I said.

  Tony’s mouth dropped open, and I had the sudden urge to run my thumb along his full bottom lip. I imagined him taking it into his mouth. His sharp reply jerked me to attention.

  “What the hell are you talking about? You told me I’d done
the right thing by turning him down.”

  “I know what I said, but I’ve changed my mind. I need you to take the job.”

  Tony’s mouth firmed and he crossed his arms over his chest, drawing my eyes to his small, brown nipples. God, I had to get myself together.

  Tony shook his head. “Uh-uh. You don’t get to come in here and tell me what to do. You’re crazy if you think you can play with me like this.”

  Frustrated, I ran my fingers through my hair, messing it up. “I’m not playing. This is important.”

  Tony made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Whatever. It always is with you. The fact is, you warned me off your cousin and telling him no felt right to me. No way am I going to tell him I’ve changed my mind just because you waltz in here and tell me it’s important.”

  I wanted to grab Tony and shake some sense into him, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself how crazy I had to look to him, appearing in his room in the middle of the night and doing a complete about face from what we’d agreed to just hours earlier.

  “I can’t get into the reasons behind it. I just need you to trust me.”

  “Sorry, but that’s not gonna fly,” Tony said irritably.

  “Tony,” I hissed, anger getting the best of me. “I’m not fucking kidding!”

  “I can see you’re not, but if you want my cooperation, you have to tell me the truth. I figured out a long time ago you weren’t the half-witted sack of muscle you pretend to be.”

  I’d dropped my guard around him lately. Probably around everyone.

  “Spill, Cane. I’m not doing anything unless I have all the facts.”

  I sighed, warring with myself. When Tony scooted toward the wall, making room for me on the bed, I reluctantly stretched out beside him. Tony rolled to face me, head propped on his hand. The position was intimate and felt too good, and in the small circle of light from the lamp in the quiet bedroom, alone with him, it wasn’t as difficult as I’d thought it would be to open my mouth and begin.

  “My parents died in a house fire when I was two. I was raised by my Uncle Floyd, my father’s brother. He was great.” I smiled, remembering. Tony’s eyes were riveted to me. If he’d been a dog, his ears would have been perked up. “He had a ranch in Montana and raised wild ponies. I was so happy back then.”