All I Want is You

by Patricia Mar

  “I’d worked that out for myself. Well, you can reassure him, then, though I’ve no idea what about.”

  “If I had to take a wild guess I’d say that being so far from you is making him anxious. I guess the whole situation is destabilising him. He’s not used to having someone by his side: before he met you, he was always alone even when he had a girlfriend, you know what I mean? Now he’s totally in love with you and fully committed to your relationship, and I think his feelings are so strong that they almost scare him. It’s the first time that I’ve ever seen him jealous of someone.”

  Sara was delighted to hear it. “So at least I’m not the only jealous one in the couple! I kind of like it,” she said, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. She looked at the ceiling with a dreamy expression and said. “In fact, I really like it.”

  Alessandro felt as if he could breathe again and smiled. “To be honest, I think it was about time he felt a little jealous, it’s probably good for him. Maybe it’ll deflate that super-model ego of his!”

  “Well, right now it’s inflating my ego, that’s for sure!” replied Sara, accompanied by another thunderclap that seemed designed to highlight an undeniable truth. Daniel Gant was jealous for the first time in his life, and she – the totally average Sara De Michele – was the cause of his jealousy!

  It was proof that there’s at least some justice in the universe.

  22

  Sharks and Scandals

  She loved her days off, when she could go for long walks and do a bit of healthy shopping, as well as make her obligatory stop at the bookshop.

  Holding two bags, Sara was slowly walking home, already thinking of the relaxing time she was going to have on the sofa, maybe binging on some of the new episodes of The Big Bang Theory. She’d also bought some expensive chocolate cookies, which as far as she was concerned were the second best thing in life after Daniel.

  She’d just turned the corner of her block when she noticed a crowd of people hanging around outside her front door. She frowned, hoping that they would let her pass without any hassle. Who knew who or what they were waiting for anyway.

  As soon as she was close enough, though, she found herself suddenly surrounded by them: by the looks of things, they’d actually been waiting for her. She tried to speak, but didn’t really know what to say – she was far too taken aback.

  “Hi Sara, would you like to say something?”

  “What do you think of Delia Marquez?”

  “Are you and Daniel still a couple?”

  The crowd of strangers pushed and pulled at her, holding out their phones to record her voice and thrusting their video cameras into her face as if they were guns. They were blocking her way and the crush was actually making it hard to breathe: what were they asking her? Why were they even there? And what did it all have to do with Daniel and Delia Marquez?

  “Are you okay with Daniel and Delia being so close?”

  “Daniel and Delia spent the whole party together, did that annoy you?”

  Sara gritted her teeth. She had already had enough of all those nosy questions and was starting to worry about the absurd conclusions these journalist were jumping to. She put her bags down and faced them. “All I know is that you are harassing me. My relationship with my fiancé Daniel is stronger than ever, so please have some respect for us and stop insinuating otherwise. And now I’d be grateful if you’d let me go home.”

  “Have you seen the pictures of Delia and Daniel that were taken after the party?” an overweight man with messy hair shouted. “They’re pretty unequivocal… Are you saying that it doesn’t bother you at all?”

  She was about to ask what pictures he was referring to but realised that she was rapidly starting to get dangerously angry, so she decided to just keep quiet. The seed of doubt had already been planted though: what the hell had happened at that party? She didn’t want to show those sharks how worried she was, though, so she just smiled and tried to appear as relaxed as usual. “I trust Daniel, and that’s all I have to say.”

  She picked up her bags and proudly walked through the crowd of gossip seekers. She even said goodbye to them before slamming the building’s front door behind her and in their faces. As soon as she was inside the apartment building, though, she suddenly felt faint, and had to spend a moment leaning against the door to get her strength back. She didn’t understand what was going on. Why were those people insinuating that Daniel and Delia were having an affair?

  She rushed up the stairs, banged opened the apartment door angrily and threw her bags on the floor, unconcerned about the possibility of damaging what was inside them.

  “Hey…” said Virginia. She was sitting on a stool studying economics, but as soon as she saw the state her sister was in, she got up and went over to her. “What happened?”

  Sara threw her jacket on the sofa, sat down at her PC and turned it on.

  “I don’t know, something must have, though – they were all waiting for me outside the front door.”

  “Who was waiting for you?” asked Virginia, trying to sound less worried than she actually felt.

  “Reporters… or better, sharks, looking for fresh prey to get their teeth into.”

  “I don’t follow you.”

  “They were asking what I thought about Daniel and Delia Marquez being together!”

  “You mean the actress? The one he’s supposed to work with?”

  Sara googled ‘Daniel Gant and Delia Marquez’, and immediately dozens of pictures of the party appeared. There were both formal shots, where everybody was posing in their super elegant clothes, and candid pictures. When she saw the latter ones, Sara put her hand to her mouth in shock. “No! It can’t be true!”

  Virginia craned her neck over her sister’s shoulder until their cheeks were almost touching.

  “What a bastard!” she spat, moving even closer to the monitor as though getting closer to the screen might make it possible for her to actually grab Daniel by his collar and shake him.

  “There must be a mistake!” moaned Sara through the tears which were already streaming down her pallid face.

  The incriminating picture showed Daniel from behind as he leaned in towards Delia’s perfectly accoutred head. It really looked like they were kissing.

  Could it be it possible? Was Daniel really kissing another woman?

  Her heart was pounding so madly that it felt as though it might explode at any minute. She felt a lump in her throat and couldn’t breathe properly any more. She stood up abruptly, not knowing what to do.

  Virginia was dumbfounded and couldn’t take her eyes from the screen. “I don’t get it. I’m sure he loves you, so why is he kissing another woman? Is it some publicity thing?”

  Sara was sobbing so hard she was unable to reply. Virginia turned around, and when she saw her crying she went to hug her. “He’s a bastard, but I’m sure that there’s an explanation for all this.”

  “I trusted him.”

  “He seemed honest.”

  “We’re about to get married! And he knows how serious marriage is for me!” cried Sara desperately while she clung onto her sister. “He said he loved me! Why is he doing this to me?”

  Virginia was caressing her hair and trying to comfort her. “Look, let’s be rational about this picture: you can’t really see their lips, so maybe it’s just a question of perspective and they’re not actually kissing each other.”

  “But that’s what the article makes out they’re doing, though!”

  “Exactly: that’s what it makes out but it doesn’t actually say it in so many words… So maybe…”

  Sara let go of Virginia and went back to observing that awful picture. She felt as though she could barely breathe, as a million memories of them together – happy and in love – raced through her mind. What the hell was happening? Why did she have to go through all this now that she was finally feeling certain about their love and their relationship? Who was the real Daniel Gant? Was he the man she thought she knew or the
stranger who let the paparazzi take pictures of him kissing an actress he’d only just met?

  And what about all the times he had declared his love for her? What did all those words mean now? Had they ever meant anything at all?

  “I don’t understand. I thought we were in love… Did I miss something? Maybe I did something wrong…”

  “Hey, cut it out!” said Virginia, taking her sister by her shoulders and looking her in the eyes. “Now take a deep breath and let’s think about it. You know Daniel better than anyone else. Do you really think it’s likely that he cheated on you like that? Do you think he wanted to damage your relationship on purpose? I honestly have never seen anyone more in love than Daniel. His eyes just shine when he looks at you and he really seems happy and at peace. Don’t get me wrong: I would quite happily kill him right now because he’s making you cry, but I don’t think he actually cheated on you. I just think you need to talk to him as soon as possible.”

  “I can’t talk to him right now, or I’ll make things even worse. Don’t you remember the time when I saw that photoshoot in Thailand on a magazine and I bought up all the copies I could get my hands on? That time I acted impulsively and I didn’t think things through properly, and do you remember how that ended? We broke up! I don’t want it to happen again… Virginia, what will I do if I lose him?”

  “You haven’t lost him, Sara… Sure, take some time to think about it, by all means, but at some point you need to talk to him. This is important, and it’s something everybody’s going to find out about eventually. And what’s more, those journalists will be back, and you need to know what to tell them.”

  “You’re right. But I can’t talk to him now, I can hardly even breathe at the moment,” Sara said, throwing herself onto the sofa and staring at the ceiling. “I think that he really is in love with me too, though. I mustn’t forget that. I have to believe what he says, even if that picture contradicts him. I must give him a chance to explain what really happened,” she went on, covering her eyes with one hand. “But I just feel so awful…”

  Virginia was very sorry for her sister. She went to fetch the shopping bags that Sara had abandoned on the floor and started emptying them.

  “Do you think it’s over? Is he tired of me? Is he planning to dump me?” asked Sara, tearfully.

  Her sister looked at her. “I think love happens when hearts and souls match perfectly,” she said, trying to restore Sara’s certainties and confidence. “You were meant for each other, and you’re the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen. I am sure that he will never leave you.”

  Sara tried to smile at her and decided to switch the computer off to make that picture disappear for a while, and then she went to her bedroom without adding anything else.

  As the hours went by, Sara’s mood swung between feeling wounded, angry and wanting to shout at him, offend, insult, assault and hit him to release all the tension she had accumulated and feeling desperately sorry and also hopeful that it would all turn out to be a misunderstanding. She really hoped that there was a good explanation for what she’d seen – something that would allow her to knock down the wall she’d had to build so quickly in an attempt to defend herself.

  It had taken her so long to manage to trust him, and now that she had finally been feeling safe, something had happened and made her stumble again. Suddenly all the doubts she’d had in the previous months were back, and they were strong enough to ruin everything between them.

  Sara didn’t want to react irrationally and impulsively, but she was struggling to control the emotions that were devouring her. What if Daniel didn’t want to be with her any more? What if he really had kissed Delia Marquez?

  She got even angrier at the idea that she’d had to find it all out from a bunch of perfect strangers instead of from Daniel himself.

  While she was still pondering all the possibilities, her mobile phone suddenly rang, startling her.

  It was Daniel.

  She took a deep breath and then answered the call.

  “Hey, babe!”

  Babe?

  “Hi Daniel.” Okay, what was she supposed to say now? How was she supposed to behave? Her tongue was stuck to her palate and she felt as though she couldn’t even speak properly.

  “I just woke up… God, I wish you were here right now! Luckily I’m coming back tomorrow – I can’t wait to see you!”

  He was talking as if nothing had happened. He was telling her that he had missed her, that he wished they were in bed together. So what was Delia Marquez for him? A spare tyre for emergencies? Well, her lips had enough rubber in them, that was for certain…

  “I went for a walk, and I got ambushed by a pack of aliens.”

  “Aliens?! What do you mean?”

  “Well, in reality they were reporters, but they might as well have been aliens for all I care,” she said, more sarcastically than she’d intended.

  Daniel knew her, so she knew how he would reply to that. “Journalists? What did they want from you?” His voice sounded alarmed – maybe he was starting to figure out what was going on.

  “They wanted to know what I thought about your affair with Delia Marquez. So tell me Daniel, what should I think about it?”

  He went silent. Oh come on, that’s way too easy, she thought.

  “Sara, I hope you’re not going to start believing what reporters tell you,” he said, sounding offended. He was the offended one now? What about her?

  “No, I don’t believe them, but I do believe the picture I saw on the internet.”

  “What picture?”

  “The one where you are leaning towards that woman and her fake boobs to kiss her.”

  Daniel burst out laughing and Sara clenched her jaw so hard that she almost lost a filling. “You think that it’s funny?”

  “Well, yeah, considering that I haven’t kissed anyone, especially not Delia Marquez.”

  “How could they take that picture then? Also the article said that you were quite close to her.”

  “I have no idea of when this picture was taken, I haven’t seen it. All I know is that I’ve never kissed her. Maybe it’s been photoshopped, or maybe the photographer was just good at choosing an ambiguous angle.”

  “Well, this photographer must be a genius. I hope the trashy magazine he works for gives him a raise because he definitely deserves one.”

  “Can you actually see our lips touching?”

  “Daniel, don’t push your luck.”

  “I’m being serious: can you actually see them touching? Because I swear I didn’t kiss her. I love you, do you really think I’d do something so stupid and revolting, and in front of a gang of photographers? Do you think I’d be able to disrespect you that much?” He was sounding really angry now, and what he was saying did make sense.

  “No, but…”

  “But what? I love you, I’ve proved that to you in a million ways already. And I’m about to marry you because I want to spend every single day of my life with you. All I’m asking you to do is to trust me, but you still don’t.”

  “Hey, hold on, don’t try and turn the tables on me: I do trust you, and I told the journalists to piss off. But then I saw a pretty clear photo and I couldn’t help but wondering what had really happened at that party. I’m human after all, I have feelings, and seeing that picture hurt.”

  “Ok, let’s just calm down a bit…” He was silent for a few moments and then resumed talking. “I’ll make an official announcement that the photo and all the rest are just a fabrication. Please believe me when I say that I would never cheat on you. I’m crazy about you, I don’t care about anyone else. I am really sorry that you think I’d let a Delia Marquez ruin our relationship.”

  “Daniel, I didn’t mean… I don’t know what I meant,” Sara had to admit. Suddenly she was feeling sorry and didn’t want to fight any more. “I just… I saw that picture and I was desperate at the idea that you didn’t want to be with me any more, that you were tired of me…”

  “
That’s crazy…”

  “No, it’s not crazy. I might be living a dream come true with you, but I’m still insecure. You’re still Prince Charming, and I’m still Cinderella, the totally normal girl that for God alone knows what reason you chose. This is a fairy tale, and I’m scared at the idea that I’m eventually going to come to the words ‘the end’. I can usually control my fears, but they are always there, ready to come jumping out whenever something’s wrong. We’re just so different, and that scares me a lot.”

  “Are we really back to this? I thought we’d dealt with all these doubts already.”

  “I never talk to you about these things because I don’t want to worry you. But I know that you’re worried about our relationship coming to an end too. We’re both afraid, and whenever there’s a misunderstanding, that makes things difficult.”

  “Sara, I’m not afraid…”

  “You’re a liar. Why did you ask Alessandro to come and check that Giovanni wasn’t harassing me if you’re not worried? What did you think your cousin would do? Seduce me? And that I would I let him?” said Sara more loudly. She didn’t want to argue, but she wasn’t able to stop herself from telling him what was on her mind. The truth was that they both tried to repress their emotions way too often, and that meant that it was really easy for them to upset one another.

  “Did Alessandro tell you that?”

  “He didn’t need to, I worked it out for myself. I know that Giovanni annoyed you by entering your territory without your permission. What I don’t get is how you can think that your cousin has the power to change things between us just by doing or saying something. You’re telling me that my reaction is absurd, but you were just as jealous as I was when I saw that damn picture.”

  “Ok, you’re right, damn it. I’d like to kick his arse. He didn’t have to show himself naked to you, flirt with you in front of me or watch you while you were working. And it’s not fair that he got to spend time with you while I had to be here, on the other side of the planet. I was envious and jealous, you’re right. Guilty as charged.”

  “I don’t care about deciding who’s guilty. We’re both insecure, and that’s not ok.”