by Erin Trejo
“They are. They’re all I have. Most times—all I need,” I say. She seems to question that. I can see the look in her eyes.
“What’s the look?” I ask her when I noticed she dropped her head. Looking at her feet in the sand before bringing her eyes back to meet mine, and says, “Do you ever think you would be able to love again, Ghost?”
I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know why she’s asking that to begin with. Her words slam into my chest. It feels like I’ve been punched.
“Hard to say—I don’t know that I have it in me. Melanie ruined me in a lot of ways. It wasn’t just her though, I pushed her. I broke her as badly as she broke me.” Before anything else can be said, Nessa wraps her hand around the back of my neck, pulling my mouth to hers. Her lips move tantalizingly slow over mine. The light touch of her makes me quiver.
“I don’t think you’re that broken, Ghost,” She whispers. My hand comes up to tangle in her hair while the other slides around her waist.
“I’m beyond broken. I’d ruin you in ways you’d never recover from,” I say in honesty. Her cheeks flush, turning a pretty shade of pink. Her eyes dance with lust but I can’t wreck her. Pressing my lips to hers once more, I slide my tongue into her mouth. Her softness tugs at me. She feels so good, but she isn’t the club type of woman. She’s better than that. I know she is. She’s like Aria. She wasn’t meant for this world, and I’ll be damned if I’m the one to drag her into it. I place small pecks on her lips before pulling back.
“We should get back,” I say, but Nessa doesn’t listen. She kisses me again, this time her free hand landing on my stomach. I let out a groan that she captures in her mouth. Her fingers trail over my skin, igniting a need inside of me. If her lips weren’t wrapped around mine, I’d be groaning right now. Nessa lets her hand travel further south, wrapping around my dick.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Nessa.” Her giggle hits me in face. She looks me in the eyes, so sure of herself in this moment.
“I can’t be hurt, Ghost. I’m like you—I was ruined.” No, I won’t take that as an answer from her. Not after the day we’ve had together. I may not know her but I can see her. She is far from being broken.
“I don’t believe you. You’re fragile, and I’m not him, Nessa. I would take all the good and suck it out of you.”
She wants to push me on this, I can see it. As much as I want to fuck her, I can’t be that guy. I can’t be the one that takes away all the goodness in her and leaves her with nothing but a hollow shell. The look in her eyes though, hell help me she wants this. It’s taking all the strength I have in me to back away from her.
Chapter 5
Nessa backed off after what I said to her. Really didn’t surprise me either. When we get back to the clubhouse, the parking lot is full as hell. I forgot that Dragon was having some of the other clubs come down to just hang out.
“Why are there so many people?” Nessa glances over at me as we walk toward the front door.
“Havin’ a party this weekend. You should stick around. It’s always fun.” Nessa shrugs and I can tell she’s still pissed about what I said to her. “Look, Nessa. I don’t know what you’re lookin’ for—” She doesn’t let me finish. She talks over me.
“Did you have fun with me today?” She asks. I narrow my eyes at her. She is full of questions.
“Yeah, I did,” I say a little unsure of where this is going. Her smile gets bigger.
“I had fun with you, too.” I’m so fucking confused right now. What the hell did I miss?
“Like I said, I don’t know what you’re lookin’ for, but I don’t think I can be the one to give it to you.” Nessa shrugs her shoulders. She doesn’t look mad and she doesn’t look happy. She’s sitting idle at a middle point that really confuses the hell out of me.
“Just hang out with me, Ghost. We had fun. Let’s just… have fun.” No woman–not a one–has ever asked me to hang out with them. No, we fucked. We fucked hard and long, but we never hung out.
“Hang out?” I ask her a little unsure of all this. Nessa nods before pulling the front door open. Noise blasts through our silence. Music pumps through the speakers. People laugh and talk, having a good time. I didn’t get a chance to respond to her before she took off toward Aria. Shaking my head, I need to get myself together. I head to Dragon’s room but find him in the hallway first.
“How’d that run go?” He asks when he sees me.
“Good. Broke some kid’s nose. Bark has some punk pullin’ guns and shit,” I say. Dragon laughs before passing me a beer. Dragon nods to the bag. “Want me to put it up?” I shake my head.
“I got this. Be back in few.” Dragon nods before going back to his joint. Walking down the hallway, I let Nessa’s words play over in my head. Hang out with a girl that I’m not even fucking could be difficult. Why the hell would I want to anyway, with all these women running around here right now. Unlocking room 210, I head inside to our makeshift office. Walking around to the back of the desk, I open the safe, stuffing the money in it.
Blowing out a breath, I think I need a few more drinks tonight.
I–of all people–turned down pussy. Hot pussy at that. I don’t know what the hell took over me but I just couldn’t see hurting her that way. She’s too much of a good person, you can see it in her eyes.
***
Watching the party in full swing, I lean back in my chair.
Amber sits in my lap, wiggling her ass a little too much. “You look worn out, Ghost.”
“Long day. Just glad it’s over.” I hear the chair next to me squeak. I don’t look over, but then I hear her.
“I thought it was a good day,” Nessa says. Grunting, I wrap my arm around Amber’s waist.
“You can move,” I tell her. Amber huffs before climbing off my lap. I watch her stomp across the lawn before sitting next to Trick. I know I told her I’d see her later, but I’m just not in the mood now.
“You didn’t have to make her leave,” Nessa says. Glancing over, I see she has changed since earlier. She’s wearing a skin-tight tank top with her jeans. She looks as perfect as ever.
“She isn’t anything. She likes the attention is all. Trick will give it to her.” Wiggling my eyebrows, I mean that in more ways than one.
Nessa’s laughing. “I didn’t need to know all that.” Aria and Roc walk over. Aria smiles looking between us. “What are you two doing?” I just shrug and go back to nursing my beer.
“Just talking. What’s up?” Nessa says. She smiles up at her friend as Roc eyes me.
“We talked to Dragon. He said you’re welcome to stay Nessa, but he doesn’t know where to put you. All the rooms are full.” I nearly choke on my beer when Aria talks. What the hell is she staying here for?
“I’m good on a couch anywhere.” Yeah, like hell she is. I’m sure one of the guys will try to get her sweet ass into bed before the night’s over. If I was smart, I would too. I’m not, though.
“Then that’s settled. You ok, Ghost?” Aria asks. Dragging my gaze to Aria’s, I nod.
“Yep. Gettin’ fucked up and headin’ to bed.” Roc chuckles before passing me a joint.
“I think I need that,” Nessa says, before reaching over and taking the joint from between my fingers. I cock my head as I watch that girl suck that mess into her lungs. The ring of smoke she blows out takes me by surprise.
“Don’t look at me like that. We aren’t all good little girls, Ghost.” Passing me the joint back, I keep my eyes on her.
She’s right. She isn’t a good little girl. She’s the fucking best. She’s sweet as hell. She knows all the right things to say. She talks from her heart.
Jesus Christ, I am fucked up.
I’m a complete fuck up right now. I don’t know which way is up. Drunk, and high out of my mind, I wander the hallways. I can hear the party still going full blast outside, but I’m too wasted to mess with that shit.
Devil hollers down the hallway. “Ghost. Phone call!” I didn’t even
see that motherfucker get here!
“Where the hell you come from, Devil?” I ask, stumbling toward him as he laughs.
“From the pits of hell. Your way fucked up, brother,” Devil says with a laugh. Angel steps around the corner, before stopping and laughing.
“Jesus, Ghost,” She says, I give her a sly smile before pulling her into a hug.
“You’re lookin’ awful good these days, Angel.” Kissing her cheek, she pulls back laughing.
“Take the phone, dumbass.” Dragon passes me the phone before they walk away as I slowly put the receiver to my ear.
“Ghost it is.” I almost laugh at myself. I’m really a funny bastard.
“Ghost. We need to talk.” Not again. What the hell is she calling me again for?
“Why do you keep torturin’ me? You left me, Mel. Keep it that way.” Hanging the phone up, it quickly rings again. I toss the phone to the counter, not wanting to relive the past right now. She left me. She refused to come back. I don’t know what the hell she wants me to do. Nessa’s hand lands on my arm. “You look upset, Ghost.” Fire sizzles through me.
“You can’t keep touchin’ me like that,” I warn her. Her eyes come to meet mine, fire blazing in them. As much as I want to take this girl right now, we’re both fucked up and not in our right minds. Aside from the fact, that she’s too good for me.
“I can do whatever I wantm” She retorts. Her hands roam up my arms, stopping on my shoulders. The look in her eyes is priceless.
“Neither one of us are thinkin’ straight, darlin’,” I say. Her fingers tighten around my shirt–my dick hardens in my jeans.
“I’m pretty sure I’m thinking just fine, Ghost.” Her hands travel down my chest–over my abs–finally stopping on my rock-hard dick.
“Give me what I want, Ghost.” The way she whispers the words in my ear, how the hell could I not?
This is a bad idea. In my right mind, I’d walk away. Thank fuck, I’m not in my right mind!
Chapter 6
Nessa’s lips are on my neck as I try to walk us back to my room, stumbling. The feelings that are shooting through me are nothing I’ve ever felt before. Her hands tangle in my hair but those lips are killer.
“I need to open the door,” Mumbling, she pulls back only slightly. The look in her eyes amuses me.
“I don’t give a shit about your room.” She’s breathless and I love every second of it. Shit, she’s making me not care about the goddamn room either.
“Everyone will see you.” I don’t give a damn if they see me or not. Nessa seems a little shyer in that fashion, or at least I thought she was. Her lips continue to torture me when I finally get the door open. I walk us into the room, kicking the door closed with the heel of my boot. Sliding my hand around Nessa’s writhing body, I unhook my jeans, shoving them to the floor.
“Goddamn woman!” Growling against her neck, she grinds against me. She feels so damn good I don’t want to stop. I know in the back of my mind I should, but I can’t. Nessa tugs at my shirt, if she had longer nails, she’d be tearing it apart.
“Get this off, Ghost!” Her demands send quivers straight to my dick. I set her down, ripping my cut off before tossing my shirt to the side. I reach for the hem of her little tank top, pulling it over her head. My eyes try to focus on those beautiful breasts in front of me but when the room spins, that’s a little hard to do.
“Get it all off, sweetheart.” Grabbing my dick in my hand, I stroke it while waiting on her to take her jeans off. The view of her stripping is causing me to lose it. I groan as I watch her. So, fucking, perfect. When Nessa is completely naked, she takes a few steps toward me, her eyes traveling over my body.
“You’re stunning, Ghost.” My eyes jerk to hers, holding there as she licks her lips.
“No one has ever said that to me before.” Nessa smiles, taking the last step toward me. Her hands run around my neck, pulling my mouth to hers. Her kiss is hot and wet, just like the girl herself.
“Fuck me, Ghost. I need it–hard.” Holy shit, that I can do. I throw Nessa on the bed roughly before sliding in between her sweet thighs.
We’re too wound up in each other to think. I slam into her soft waiting pussy, not holding anything back. I’ve missed hearing my name leave a set of sweet lips like hers.
Nessa screams out my name. It’s like music to my ears.
Gripping her hips in my hands, I squeeze a little tighter than I need to. I’m sure she will be sporting my marks tomorrow.
“You wanna be mine, sweetheart? That what you want?” I grunt. Harder and harder, I slam into her. She digs her nails into my skin, digging deep.
“Say it, Nessa!” I lean down, growling against her neck. Licking and nipping, I don’t stop my relentless torture of her pussy. “You won’t cum till you say it.” Biting down once more, she screams. I can’t think of anything better than hearing a woman scream your name.
“Yes, Ghost. Make me yours!” I speed my hips back up, throttling so deeply into her that I can barely breathe. Feeling her pussy tighten around me, I lose it first. I cum hard with Nessa joining me. It feels like heaven as I pant and gasp for air. Nessa’s little gasps are so fucking adorable, I never want her to stop. I rest my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. Running my tongue over her neck, I can taste her salty sweat.
“You taste perfect.” Her body shivers as my dick twitches inside of her. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had.
“I wanna keep you, Nessa,” Whispering against her neck, I know it’s just the amount of alcohol in my system making me talk out of my ass. Not like that’s any different than my sober talk.
“You’re drunk,” She says. She’s right. I am.
“So, what? I still want you.” Nessa giggles under me. I roll over, pulling out of her. Dropping onto my side, I look over at her as her hair falls around her.
“I suppose you’ll be spendin’ the night here.” Nessa looks almost embarrassed. She starts to move away but I pull her back to me.
“I didn’t say to leave, darlin’.” Hooking my arm around her waist, I drag her body closer to mine. “In fact, I don’t think I’m done with you yet.” I mumble, kissing her softly, she melts into me. It’s an amazing feeling to have, but it brings back so many memories of Melanie, that I can barely stand it. Opening my eyes, I make myself realize that she is the complete opposite of Mel. She’s better. She’s nothing like her. I’ll never be able to move on if I keep comparing every girl to her. Nessa is different. There is nothing about her that should remind me of Mel.
***
Over a month has gone by without another word from Melanie. I don’t know how I feel about that either. I should be happy, but I don’t know if I am.
It tugs at something inside of me. Something that wants to rekindle the past. I know it’s wrong. I know my heart doesn’t belong to her anymore.
Is that how it will always be, though? Will the thoughts of her eat me alive?
I glance around the area where we’re meeting these new assholes. Devil passes me a cigarette–I gladly take it. “What’s got you in a pissy mood?”
“I’m not pissy.” Ignoring him, I light it up.
“You are pissy. Thought you and Nessa were good?” Devil says as he leans against the brick wall next to me, crossing his arms over his chest.
“We are. It’s just—Melanie kept callin’, man. I never waited to hear what she wanted.” I’m unsure what that means to me. Did I really want to hear what she had to say? I don’t fucking know what I want anymore.
“Have you called her parents? Maybe they know.” He asks. Shaking my head, I don’t know that I want to.
“That’s just it, brother. I just don’t fuckin’ know if I should get messed up in that shit.” Devil nods, clearly understanding what I mean. If anyone would, it would be him.
“I hear you, Ghost. She hasn’t called in a few weeks though, right?” Blowing out a ring of smoke, I nod.
“Been more than a few weeks. Maybe she worke
d her shit out.” Shrugging, maybe she did.
It doesn’t stop the nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, though. That shit stays there like a fucking reminder of all the bad shit I’ve done.
I let my mind wander. I don’t know what she would need with me unless she’s gotten herself into shit. Why me though? Why would she think that I would help her now after she bailed? She always had that attitude about her, so that wouldn’t surprise me.
Devil slaps a hand across my chest. “Here they come.” I stick the cigarette between my lips, shoving off the wall. Following behind Devil to meet these new little pricks, wasn’t high on my to do list today. I guess being the goddamn VP makes it my problem, though.
Devil looks at the men that stand in front of us. “Who are you?”
They don’t look like much. They look like your typical street gang. That never means anything, though.
We get all kinds of little fucks coming to us wanting to run with the big guys. Most of them get snuffed out pretty quick.
“I’m Tony. You must be Devil, and Ghost.” Nodding once, I move to stand in front of Devil.
“We don’t deal with anyone aside from you. If you don’t show up to the drops, you don’t collect shit. You don’t have payment, you don’t get shit. You fuck me over, I’ll kill your whole family. Gimme’ your wallet,” I say holding my hand out. I glare at the man in front of me.
He smiles while looking around as if I’m joking.
“You want to play games motherfucker, you find another club.” Staring him down, he reaches for his pocket, pulling the wallet free. He places it in my hand with a shaky hand. Flipping it open, I take his license before throwing his wallet back at him.
“Where’s the cash?” Tony nods to the guy behind him, he steps forward with a bag.
“Do I need to count it, or are we all on the same page here?” I ask, not in the mood for this shit at all. Tony’s eyes widen, giving me my answer.Pulling the knife from the back of my jeans, I grab Tony, and hold it to his throat.