What Life Could Mean to You
Page 26
In other ways, also, marriage is entered into with inappropriate aims. Some people marry for the sake of economic security; they marry because they pity someone; or they marry to secure a servant. There is no place for such jokes in marriage. .I have even known cases where people have married to increase their difficulties. A young man, perhaps, is in difficulties about his examinations or his future career. He feels that he may very easily fail, and if he fails he wishes to be able to excuse himself. He takes on the additional task of marriage, therefore, in order to have an alibi.
I am sure we should not try to depreciate or diminish this problem but to set it on a higher level. In all the reliefs I have heard proposed, it is always the women really who bear the disadvantage.
There is no question but that men in our culture already have an easier time. This is a mistake in our common approach. It cannot be overcome by a personal revolt. Especially in marriage itself a personal revolt would disturb the social relationship and the interest of the partner. It can only be overcome by recognizing and changing the whole attitude of our culture. A pupil of mine, Professor Rasey of Detroit, made an examination and found that forty-two per cent. of the girls she questioned would like to have been boys; this means that they were disappointed with their own sex. Can it be easy to solve the problems of love and marriage while half of mankind is disappointed and discouraged, does not agree with its position and objects to the greater freedom of the other half? Can it be easy to solve them if women are always expecting to be slighted and believe themselves to be only sexual objects for men, or believe it is natural for men to be polygamous and unfaithful?
From all we have said we can draw a simple, obvious and helpful conclusion. Human beings are neither polygamous nor monogamous.
The fact that we live on this planet, in association with human beings equal to ourselves, and divided into two sexes, and the fact that we must solve the three problems of life which our circumstances set us in a sufficient way, will help us to see that the fullest and highest development of the individual in those and marriage can best be secured by monogamy.
The end.
Table of Contents
I. THE MEANING OF LIFE
II. MIND AND BODY
III. FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY AND SUPERIORITY
IV. EARLY MEMORIES
V. DREAMS
VI. FAMILY INFLUENCES
VII. SCHOOL INFLUENCES
VIII. ADOLESCENCE
IX. CRIME AND ITS PREVENTION
X. OCCUPATION
XI. MAN AND FELLOW MAN
XII. LOVE AND MARRIAGE