A Time of Madness

by Marti Talbott

  “Oh, I see.” Mackinzie looked once more through the trees to see if Sawney was watching her and when he wasn’t, she returned to her wash.

  Tavan smiled, picked up his carved cane, and headed for the castle. His brother, Laird Campbell, was going to be very pleased to hear this news. They both feared they would never see Mackinzie happily married.

  That started it and once more, she was so consumed with thoughts about Sawney’s kiss, she hardly knew what she was doing. She’d fallen behind in her washing and it was nearly evening when she glanced back and gasped. Sawney and his men were standing there watching her. Mackinzie rolled her eyes and went back to her work.

  “We wish to bathe,” said Sawney.

  “There is a fine place upriver for bathing,” she said without turning around.

  “We wish to bathe here. Perhaps you might finish your wash at that fine place upriver.”

  Mackinzie slowly stood up and turned around. All twelve men were covered in mud and she almost smiled, but caught herself before she insulted Paisley’s brother again. Just then, she noticed Sawney start to untie his belt.

  Horrified, Mackinzie threw the last wet plaid in her basket, picked it up and started straight for him. Sawney moved out of her way just in time, but not before she had a chance to glance at him and say, “Scunner.”

  She did not bother to look back even when she heard all of the men burst out laughing.

  FEW EVER KNOCKED ON her door and none this late in the evening. She hoped it was Paisley, but when Mackinzie opened it, Sawney was standing there.

  “I have come to ask if you will walk with me.”

  “Why?”

  He was not expecting that question and it took a moment to think of what to say. He decided just to tell her the truth. ‘Tis how it is done in my clan.”

  “Oh.”

  He expected her to ask what was done, but Mackinzie had her own way of thinking and it appeared it was going to take some getting used to. He held out his hand and she looked at it, but she didn’t take it. Instead, she stepped out and closed her door.

  Sawney clasped his hands behind his back, nodded toward the path to his left and waited for her to begin to walk. It took a moment, but she finally caught on and started down the path. Before he came, he thought of a thousand things to say, but just now, he couldn’t remember a one. They had only walked for a little while when he noticed she held her eyes down and soon he realized why. People on the path were staring at her.

  There was only one way to avoid that problem. “I prefer to walk along the ocean, do you agree?” He could see the relief in her eyes when she looked up at him and nodded. He turned them around and as they retraced their steps, he glared at those who so rudely stood staring at her. His message was clear and all of them quickly went about their business.

  Again, there was silence between them, but after they walked along the shore for a little while, he said, “Mackinzie, the MacGreagors will leave in the morning.”

  She knew they must, but she did not want to hear it and looked away. “I see.”

  He was encouraged by her reaction, but only a little. “Will you see to Paisley while we are gone?”

  “You will not take her with you?”

  “Nay, ‘tis too dangerous.” Mackinzie looked relieved. He didn’t know what to say, so he just kept walking.

  She stopped, picked up a shell, walked to the water’s edge, and rinsed the sand off. “You can hear the ocean in it.”

  “So I have heard. May I listen?”

  “Aye.” Instead of giving him the shell, she held it up to his ear. He didn’t seem to think it was positioned right and covered her hand with his so he could move it. For the first time, she looked into his eyes and did not look away. His hand was warm on hers and she liked his touch more than she thought she would.

  “How fascinating,” said he, finally letting go of her hand. He meant her, but knew she thought he was talking about the shell. He was so close, all he needed to do was take her in his arms, but he only just got her to be with him. Upsetting her now was not what he wanted. He did notice, however, that Mackinzie kept the shell instead of tossing it away.

  “Will you come back?” she asked as they began to walk again.

  “If I am able. If not, the lads will come for our families.”

  “Will you die?”

  “Not if I can prevent it.” He was encouraged even more now that she cared if he died. Nevertheless, it was not the same as consenting to be his wife. “I was hoping...”

  “I lied.”

  “What?”

  Mackinzie drew in a forgotten breath. “The horse is not mine.”

  He smiled, “I knew you were lying.”

  “How?”

  “You are not very good at it.”

  At last, she curled her lips into a smile. “I have had little practice.”

  “I am happy to hear that. For my sake, see that you do not practice.” He hadn’t meant to, but judging by the look on her face, he thought he had confused her. He was wrong.

  “You are not angry?”

  “How could I be? I have lied a time or two myself.”

  “Do you lie well?”

  He could not help but chuckle. “Very well, but I give you my pledge, I will never lie to you.”

  “Why?”

  In some ways, Mackinzie was still a little girl. Paisley said she was much wiser in the ways of the world than Mackinzie was willing to let on, but just now, he was not so sure. Still, he just promised not to lie to her and he meant to keep that promise. With so little time left before he had to leave, the truth was his best choice. “Because a husband should never lie to his wife.” Just as he feared, she stopped and stared into his eyes. “Does that frighten you?” he asked.

  She said nothing and instead let her eyes drift down to the middle of his chest. Part of her wanted to run, but there was a part that wanted to stay. What she really wanted was for him to hold her and let her feel his touch again. Then perhaps she would not be frightened at all.

  “Mackinzie, I have been too bold and I did not mean to be.”

  She ignored his words in favor of deciding if she were brave enough to touch him. So many times, she spent her days touching things, but never once had she intentionally touched a man. At length, she decided he would allow it. Slowly, she raised her hand and put the back her fingers against the middle of his neck.

  Mackinzie quickly looked up to see if he was disturbed by it and when he did not seem to be, she turned her hand over and gently touched the side of his face. His beard was soft, his skin was smooth and it was enough. She took her hand away and began to walk again.

  For the first time in his life, Sawney felt a depth of love for a woman he did not know he possessed. He desperately wanted to hold her and wash away all her years of sadness. Yet the way she touched him, as if to explore his very being, cautioned him to take more time. Time was something he had little of and although he thought of himself as strong, he wondered if he truly had the strength to leave her. She needed him and he needed her even more.

  For a time, Sawney considered taking all the MacGreagors back with him included Mackinzie, but suppose he lost the war. No, they were safer living out their lives with the Campbells.

  “Well fancy that?” Sawney said after glancing back.

  “What”

  “My sister walks with Lenox.”

  “You are surprised?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You are not?”

  Mackinzie’s smile was glowing. She knew something he did not know and she was very pleased.

  So the truth is out, Sawney thought, she did not know many things, but she knew people and she would make a very good MacGreagor mistress. He saw the end of a tree branch sticking out of the mud, but she did not and he grabbed her arm just in time to keep her from falling. He felt her tense a little, so as soon as she had her balance again, he let go.

  “You need new shoes,” said he.

  “Aye, but I must a
sk Laird Campbell for them.”

  “You find that troubling?”

  She wasn’t certain how she should answer and decided not to.

  “Does he deny you shoes?”

  “Nay.” It occurred to her she finally had someone to ask and just blurted it out, “Why must I always ask him? Why can I not just go to the shoemaker?”

  Sawney clasped his hands behind his back and explained, “Would that it were so simple. A laird has many things to do before shoes can be made. First, he must know how many others are in need and if the shoemaker has enough leather. If the shoemaker does not, he must tell the lads to butcher a cow, preferably one of the older ones. But before that, the laird must tell the hunters to stop hunting so the meat will not be wasted.”

  It all made sense to her finally. In fact, a lot of things were making more sense to her. “Oh.”

  “Shall I ask Laird Campbell on your behalf?” When she nodded, he smiled. “Perhaps I shall ask for two pair just in case the MacGreagor shoemaker is no more, or is out of leather when...when we get home.”

  “You wish to take me with you?”

  “I do. Are you willing?”

  It was a big decision. While she had not been happy with the Campbells, she might not be any happier with the MacGreagors. She loved Paisley, she might even love Sawney, but did she have the courage to face a new life in a part of the world she knew little about?

  She didn’t answer and he did not ask again. Instead, he changed the subject. “Perhaps we should go back. I’ve shoes to request.” Mackinzie did not say she would not go with him, but she didn’t joyfully fly into his arms either. He tried to read the expressions on her face as they turned around and walked back toward the village, but she looked away so he could not see. Lenox and Paisley caught up with them in time to relieve their awkward silence.

  Lenox stuck out his lower lip and said, “Laird MacGreagor, Paisley threatened to kill me again.”

  Sawney chuckled, “I am surprised she let you live this long.”

  Paisley ignored them both, looped her arm through Mackinzie’s and began to walk with her. “I would not truly kill him, ’tis but a game we have played since we were children. He tells me I am too willful and I threaten to kill him. I am not willful, save where he is concerned.”

  “Why does he say you are willful?” Mackinzie asked.

  “My dear, I have much to tell you about MacGreagor lads. They are...”

  Sawney and Lenox let the women walk away and in a little while Sawney asked, “You fancy my sister still?”

  Lenox leaned down and picked up a seashell, “Why do you think I never married?”

  “I have wondered about that. You are a good lad, better than most, but I worry Paisley is not yet ready to choose another husband. Did she tell you about Chisholm?”

  “Aye, ‘tis a pity he killed himself before I got a hold of him.”

  “I feel the same. Promise you will give Paisley time to recover, she has cried very little.”

  Lenox tossed the shell away and watched the waves hit the rocks. “She will not cry. She reviled him in the end and is happy to be shed of him. Nevertheless, I promise to wait for a time. I was a timid lad when she married, but I’ll not lose her again.”

  Sawney only had to see the determined look on his friend’s face to believe him. He watched Paisley and Mackinzie part ways in the courtyard and then watched Mackinzie walk around to the back of the castle. He waited outside for her to come back, but she didn’t. He finally knocked on her door again, but if she was there, she did not answer.

  CHAPTER XIII

  WHEN MORNING CAME, Sawney was sick at heart. He was certain leaving Mackinzie was the hardest thing he would ever be forced to do, harder even than fighting to gain back the MacGreagor land. While he helped the men ready the horses, he often looked for her, but she did not come. The MacGreagor women came to say goodbye, as did several Campbells, but not Mackinzie.

  Keter and Blare kissed their wives and children, Daniel hugged little Flora for several moments, made Senga promise not to marry until he returned and ruffed five-year-old Logan’s hair.

  Sawney waited until Lenox said his goodbye and then hugged a tearful Paisley. He mounted his horse, nodded to Laird Campbell, and turned to go. There was still one place Mackinzie might be and he held out hope. As soon as they rounded the bend and he saw her atop the hill, his heart began to race.

  He rode his horse up the hill, swung down and quickly took her in his arms. It was a moment he waited too long for and he was not about to let it escape him now. To his surprise, she did not pull away and instead, she laid her head against his chest.

  At last, Mackinzie let herself feel the joy and the comfort of being in his warm, strong arms. She felt him stroke the back of her hair and drew in the wonder of something she never guessed would be so pleasing.

  With his eyes closed, he kept her in his arms, hoping she could feel how much he loved her. When she tilted her head back to look into his eyes, he softly said, “I will come back for you.” His kiss was long and passionate, but too soon, he took hold of her shoulders and stood her back before he lost all resolve.

  She watched him swing up on his horse, ride down the hill, and join the rest of the MacGreagor warriors in the meadow. He paused for just a moment to look back and then he disappeared into the forest.

  He was gone just as suddenly as he came. Mackinzie could not seem to look away, hoping beyond hope that he would come back. He had been a part of her life for such a short time, yet he changed everything about her world and now she had an unfamiliar ache in her heart that she feared would never heal.

  Tears began to form in her eyes and she quickly brushed them away. She had not cried in years and she wasn’t about to start now. Even so, if ever she felt like crying it was now. How was she ever going to force herself to refuse Sawney? Slowly, she turned around to watch the ocean, half expecting the stallion to come and comfort her. He did not and with a heavy heart, Mackinzie finally went home.

  THE NEXT DAY, PAISLEY came to see Mackinzie. They walked and talked, about Lenox mostly. Mackinzie did not say much, but she admitted missing Sawney, which pleased Paisley very much. Gavina and Jennet wanted to get to know Mackinzie too and with three women and two children standing around her, it was too much. Mackinzie soon retreated to the top of her hill.

  There was a change in the Campbells as well. Word spread quickly that a laird has asked for her hand and some saw her in a whole new light. That pleased Tavan very much. Sawney seemed to be the kind of man who was willing and able to settle the matter if any dared hurt her again.

  WEARING THE BLUE COLORS of the Campbells, Sawney and the MacGreagor men rode hard, rested the horses when they needed to and rode hard again. He considered tempting the Macfarlane to fight with him but decided against it. If what Bryce said was true, he would not need them.

  He could not get Mackinzie off his mind and on the second night, Keter asked what troubled him most. He might as well tell them, Sawney decided. It would be hard enough for Mackinzie in his world if the clan did not understand her ways. Once he told the men the worst of it, they agreed something more made her hide from the clan, although none dared guess what it was.

  Sawney was relieved after sharing her story and finished with, “Therefore, I ask you to help me see to her.”

  Blare frowned. “I have heard it is the duty of the third in command to see to the mistress. Seeing to Mackinzie, being that she is most bonny lass I have ever seen...save for my wife, ‘Twill be drudgery. Yet I shall manage somehow...if I must.”

  All the men laughed.

  THE WOMAN HER BROTHER loved had become as elusive as a red fox and Paisley did not know what to make of it. Mackinzie was seen doing her usual wash and not seen again the rest of each day, nor would she answer her door at night. At her wits end, Paisley finally when to the river, sat on a rock and asked Tavan what to do.

  Tavan chuckled. “Aye, well she is upset to be sure. Your brother asked her to li
ve with the MacGreagors once his war is over.”

  “Does leaving this place upset her?”

  “Perhaps, but my guess is she fears something else far more.”

  “What? Do tell me. My brother loves her so and so do I.”

  “She fears he will not truly come back for her.”

  “Oh, I see.” Paisley folded her arms and tried to think what she could do. “I cannot promise he will not die, but if he is alive he will come back for her.”

  “I believe he will too.”

  “What can I do to convince her?”

  “I do not know. Hope can be miserable to someone like Mackinzie. A thousand hopes cannot be pleased unless the first is fulfilled. I dare not imagine what it will do to her if he does not come back.”

  “Nor can I.”

  “For now, all we can do is wait for them both.”

  It was on the morning of the fourth day that they spotted two Kennedy warriors riding toward them. News was what they needed most and Sawney was happy to see his old friends. He was even happier when Eachann and Thomas shared their wine.

  “We hoped we would find you,” said Eachann as he took back the flask Sawney handed him. “Laird Davidson has gone completely daft.” Eachann turned his head to the side and spit on the ground.

  Sawney found his gesture amusing. “So I have heard. You must tell me all of it, but first, will the Kennedy’s fight with us?”

  “Aye, provided you are willing to take back the bone.”

  “The bone?”

  “The one Neasan brought from the sea.” Eachann’s grin grew wide. “We stole it and the Davidsons helped. I hear tell Bearcha told Neasan it was his own self who ordered the bone gone. He drinks heavily and believes it.”

  All laughed, but then Sawney got serious. “Bearcha sides with us? We hoped it was so.”

  “He is the only lad Neasan trusts of late and Bearcha betrays him more often than any other. We have spies in the woods known only to a few, Bearcha tells Grant and Grant tells us what is happening, so we can tell the other clans.”