The Enemy Trap

by Maren Moore

  "That's it, baby, push." I encourage her. Wiping the damp hair from her forehead, I offer the only support that I can.

  "You're doing great Sophia, just keep taking those deep breaths, and we're going to push on a contraction."

  She nods.

  "You're Super Woman, St. James." I tell her.

  "Doesn't feel like it right now."

  She gives me a small grin before resting her head on the pillow.

  "I think with two more good, strong pushes, baby will be here." Dr. Martin says, "Dad, would you like to come see?"

  I feel the color drain from my face. Do people do that? Watch their kids come out. My stomach churns at the thought.

  "No, that's okay I think I'll just stay up here with Sophia." I mutter.

  Dr. Martin laughs, "Most dads opt out, but I like to offer the option just in case it’s something you are interested in. Birth is a beautiful process."

  "I agree, but I would hate to end up on the floor and miss the birth of my girl."

  "Hayes Davis....are you squeamish?" Sophia asks me. Another contraction hits moments later, and she's back to her death grip.

  "Another strong push, Sophia, I think this will be it."

  She groans, then lets out a yell that sounds so much like a fucking warrior cry going into battle, and pushes even harder this time.

  Seconds later, a shrill cry fills the air, and I glance down and see Dr. Martin holding my girl, who's come out of her mother with strong, loud lungs. I wouldn't expect anything less from Rook.

  People tell you about moments in their life that change them. You hear your friends, family and acquaintances talk about it,, but you never really understand what they mean until you see it for yourself.

  The second I lay eyes on my daughter, my life changes right in front of my eyes. I know then that no moment that comes after will compare to seeing her take her first breath. It's like all of the things in my life led me right here, to be her dad.

  Sophia sobs next to me, deep sobs that I feel in my core.

  "We did it, St. James. You fucking did it. Look at her. God, look at her," I bring my lips to her head and kiss her as my own tears fall and fuck, I don't give a shit. There's nothing more beautiful than the birth of your child.

  "Dad, would you like to do the honor?" Dr. Martin holds out the sterile scissors to me, and a piece of my her lifeline to Sophia to me.

  The room before me sways, but I push the queasiness the fuck away, because this moment is more important. I use the clamps and cut the long cord that connects Rook to her mother, and the nurses bring her to Sophia, placing Rook on her chest.

  Skin to skin, my beautiful fiancé cries and kisses her daughter, and fuck, I know in that moment, my life is complete. These girls are my world.

  "What should we name her?" Sophia asks, staring at her with starry, teary eyes.

  "She'll always be my Rookie, but what about Ava Maria...the same boat that brought us together?"

  Sophia nods through more tears.

  "Ava Maria Rook Davis, welcome to the world my girl."

  Hours pass, and mostly we're allowed the luxury of bonding together uninterrupted. Right now, Rook is swaddled in the most fucking adorable pink blanket with little hockey sticks and pucks on it, with a ridiculously large pink bow on her head. She looks like a baby doll, a real life angel. The little button of her nose, her small little lips that pucker in her sleep.

  I've never in my life been happier than I am at this moment.

  Sophia is finally getting some rest after breastfeeding for the first time, and I've spent the past hour watching them both sleep. To say I'm in shock and complete awe of her is an understatement. She is amazing in every sense of the world. She gave me my girl, and did it like a true champ. Ava's barely three hours old and she's already got me wrapped around her little finger, literally and figuratively. She's been clutching onto my finger with her tiny little fist for thirty minutes, and I'm scared to move an inch or take a deep breath in fear of her letting go.

  Anything and everything I had imagined being a father would be like didn't even touch what it feels like to hold her in my arms. The real thing surpasses expectation tenfold. Our families will be here soon, and then our bubble of quiet as we get to know each other will be interrupted. So I'm soaking in these moments, drinking them all in while I have the chance to.

  Ava sighs in her sleep and I pull out my phone to snap a few photos and send them over to Kyle, who immediately responds that he will be by later to visit. He's still hesitant about Sophia, but I think it's just his nature. He'll get over it, because I'd get rid of him before I ever thought of hurting Sophia in any way.

  Life was going to be different from here on out, but it was different in the way that I’m no longer the same man as I once was. Now, my family comes first. Before hockey, appearances, magazines—any of that bullshit that I once thought I needed. My girls have filled in a spot in my life that I never even knew was missing.

  My life is only now just beginning.

  Twenty-Two

  Sophia

  I'm floating on a cloud of bliss. Pure, unblemished bliss. My daughter completes my life in ways I never imagined, and seeing Hayes handle her with the utmost care?

  A feeling I never expected to feel hits me square in the chest and disarms me in every possible way.

  Two days ago, we were discharged from the hospital and able to come home. Ever since we walked across the threshold, Hayes has gone above and beyond to make sure I'm comfortable. Surprisingly, I'm not in as much pain as I thought I would be. Women's bodies are incredible and able to do things that are mind blowing. My body has responded well to childbirth, and now I feel like a million bucks. I can move around easily, and I have little to no pain.

  What is much more challenging is breastfeeding.

  Ava is latching like a pro, but I'm not creating enough milk to feed her to where she is full. So, being Hayes...he ordered at least twenty different supplements, cookies, pills, you name it, in order to help me produce more.

  It's just another thoughtful gesture that proves how perfect he is.

  "Hey, Soph," he calls from Ava’s room. I can hear worry laced in his voice, so I walk a little faster. Although I know he's a wonderful father and handles most situations like a pro, he's still a man.

  A man who freaks out over everything.

  Like last night when Ava had the hiccups and he was so worried he insisted that he stay up and make sure she was breathing as she slept. And he did, until I found him passed out in the glider right next to her crib, his hand still on the wood like he could feel her move in the middle of the night.

  It sent me into a bout of tears, but I'm still blaming that on the hormones, not the fact that he's the most adorably over-protective father on the planet. If she cries, he all but trips over his feet to get to her.

  It's cute.

  And makes me want to climb him like a tree, and I'm also blaming that on the hormones.

  "Everything okay?" I ask when I walk into her room.

  He's got her on the changing table, and his head is cocked to the side.

  "Yeah, I was just wondering, once this falls off, will her belly button...you know, be like a normal belly button?"

  "This is what you called me in here for?" I laugh, bumping his shoulder.

  "I'm concerned. She's perfect, with or without this thing, but a dad's gotta know."

  The concern on his face is so cute, I have to bite my lip to hold back the laugh that I am so close to letting escape. This man.

  "Hayes, she's fine and will have a perfectly normal belly button."

  He visibly relaxes, "Phew. Was worried there for a second, Rook, but don't worry, Daddy will love you, always. Even if you have a weird belly button." He talks to her, grinning as he rubs his thumb over sweet cheeks.

  That's it.

  Ovaries. Exploding.

  I sigh, placing my head on his arm and watching the two of them together.

  "Alright, quit hoggi
ng the baby, mister. Let me get her ready for bed, and you and I are in need of some QT time."

  I'm teasing, but the way that his eyes darken shows me that he is missing our intimacy as much as I am. Too bad. Per doctor's orders, I'm out of commission for at least another four weeks.

  "Okay, I'm just going to lay across the bed for five minutes. In case she cries."

  I laugh, "Hayes. I've got this. Go rest."

  Finally, he grudgingly transfers her into my arms and drops a chaste, quick kiss to my lips before wandering out of her room down the hall into our room. I go through our nighttime routine, giving her a bath with lavender wash and lotion, changing her into a fresh pair of pajamas, cuddling her to my chest all the while and taking in every single moment.

  I feel like being a mother is what I've always been meant to be.

  After a few minutes of rocking her and singing her the same lullabies my mother sang me as a child, she drifts off to sleep. I make sure to swaddle her tight and place her in her crib. Monitor in hand, I make my way down the hall and find Hayes passed out face first in the bed.

  I poke him gently with my foot to make sure he's still breathing, and sure enough he snores so loudly that I'm sure he's woken up Ava.

  "You crazy man." I sigh, pulling his shoes off and putting them to the side of the bed. "So exhausted you pass out with shoes on."

  He grumbles in his sleep but still remains as dead asleep as a log.

  I take the moments of silence and some of my first moments alone as a mother, and take a long, hot bath. My muscles and body are still somewhat sore from birth and recovery. I spend so long in the bath, staring at Ava on the monitor, that I've turned pruny. She's soundly sleeping, much like her daddy in the other room. I can hear his deep snores through the bathroom door. I want to try and get a few hours of sleep before Ava wakes up to feed, so I get out, even though the warm water is still like heaven to my muscles, and dry off. I throw on an old t-shirt of Hayes' to get into bed.

  "Hayes, wake up." I say softly in his ear.

  His eyes snap open and he jumps up, completely disoriented. "I'm coming, Ava." His voice is rough and full of sleep.

  I giggle, "Woah, calm down, Ava's fine big guy."

  How a six-foot-four, manmade of pure lethal muscle can be so wrapped around this little girl's finger blows my mind. When it comes to her, he's completely soft.

  He drags his hand down his face, trying to wake up, "I'm sorry, baby, I must've passed out. Did you get her to sleep?"

  I nod, "Yep, all tucked in and asleep." I show him the monitor that's focused on her bed, showing him her sleeping soundly.

  "Maybe I should go check on her? Just to make sure everything is okay." He starts to get up from the bed, but I push him back down by his shoulders and straddle his lap.

  "No, let her sleep. Opening the door might wake her. She'll let us know when she needs to eat or be changed." I put my finger under his chin and drag his eyes from the monitor to mine, "You are the best daddy, Hayes. It makes me so happy to see how attentive and careful you are with her. But you have to take care of yourself too. That means sleeping, in your bed, for more than an hour at a time before you're up and checking on her, or sleeping next to her bed. She is okay."

  "I'm just worried that something will happen if I'm not there."

  "I know, and it's a legitimate fear, but we have to know that, as her parents, we're doing the best that we can, and we're making sure she is protected and safe."

  He thinks about what I'm saying before he speaks. His face relaxing, "You're right. Maybe I'll go to the gym or something. Just to get out of the house, hang with the guys."

  "Go, babe, you deserve it. She and I will have a girl’s day and relax here at the house. Mani's and crappy reality television. Or hey, even better, I'll put on a horror movie and get her started early."

  He gives me a look that says he doesn't find me at all amusing and I throw my head back and laugh, "See. Overprotective. We'll be fine. Tomorrow, I'm kicking you out for the whole day. It's done."

  "Fine, but I'm going to FaceTime you and see both of your faces because I love you both so fucking much."

  "I know, and we love you, babe. Let's get some sleep?"

  He nods, "I can't wait until Dr. Martin clears you and I can have my way with you, because, St. James, being a mother, makes you that much hotter. I think we should have more....starting now."

  "Okay, Casanova. Sleep, then we'll talk about more baby making. ‘Kay?"

  A wide grin tugs at the corner of his lips, "Fine."

  Twenty-Three

  Hayes

  I'm turning into a complete pussy. I might as well walk right up to Sophia St. James and hand her my man card, wrapped in a frilly pink bow.

  And I don't even care. Not in the least.

  Excitement has replaced my nerves, with my fears taking a back burner. Sure, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but with Sophia by my side, I have no doubt that we’re going to kick this parenting thing’s ass.

  Not to mention, my daughter has me so far wrapped around her finger, there’s no chance I’m resurfacing anytime soon. She’s so perfect and so beautiful that it takes my breath away.

  When Sophia told me she was kicking me out for the day, last week, I felt panic, pure fucking panic at the thought of leaving either of them for even a short amount of time. Part of me thought, “Not ready! Not even close.” But she was right—I needed fresh air and a moment to breathe. Even if I was going to obsess over them the entire time.

  So, I got out. Went to the gym, met the guys from the team for lunch. They showered Ava with ridiculous gifts, and then I was ready to come home. That was long enough away from them.

  That was my first outing, and I’ve only left them here twice since in the four weeks that we’ve been home together.

  Generally, I go to the rink and skate with the guys, but as soon as I’m gone, I want to be home with my girls. I’m not looking forward to the season starting. I don’t know how I’ll handle being away from them for any extended period of time. I’m not going to, that’s how. I’ll figure it out, and I’ll make it work.

  After a long, grueling workout, I’m pulling up at the house, finally.

  God, I can’t wait to kiss Soph and hold my girls.

  “Baby, I’m home,” I call softly, throwing my keys into the basket by the front door and toeing off my Nikes.

  Silence greets me, so I figure they must be taking a nap. Not that I blame her— uninterrupted sleep is few and far between now, and she should be taking every second she can and sneaking in a nap.

  Plus, that means I get more time with Ava and can hog her all to myself. I grin.

  I walk into the kitchen in search of something to eat, and Sophia's sitting at the kitchen table with a look I don't think I'll ever forget. Hurt, anger. Silent tears rest on her cheeks and she doesn't speak when our eyes connect across the room.

  Holy shit, what happened?

  "Sophia, is it Ave? Are you okay? Where is she?” I rush over to her and she puts up her hand to stop me.

  What the fuck is going on? I ask myself.

  She’s cold and aloof, and now she doesn’t want me near her?

  “Ava is fine. I'm fine." Her voice is broken, and fuck, something inside of me cracks.

  I don't understand, everything was fine when I left for the gym this morning.

  "What happened? Tell me what's going on; you're scaring the fuck out of me."

  Her eyes drop down to the object on the table, and only then do I notice that there's something in the middle of the kitchen table.

  Red and lacy…it looks like lingerie. Nothing like something she would wear.

  "Your puck bunny dropped this off this morning after a short visit."

  "The fuck? Why the fuck was someone at my house uninvited?” I ask, trying to close the distance between us, but she looks like she might actually murder me if I step another inch towards her. I'm lost. I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

  �
��Becca? Beth? Sorry, I couldn't really focus on her name when she busted past me into the house."

  "What?" Rage fills my veins at the thought of someone coming into my house, someone fucking touching Sophia. Someone threatening my daughter’s safety? Hell no.

  Calm down, Davis.

  "Tell me what happened, Sophia."

  Her eyes narrow before she speaks, "The other night when you said you were at the rink, putting extra hours in, were you really with her?"

  “What!? Fuck no, I was on the ice skating, running drills. Why would I ever be with another woman who wasn’t you or Ava?”

  She shrugs then gestures to the underwear on my table. The red stark against the cream-colored table.

  It dawns on me after a moment that she's talking about the girl from before we were together, the same one Kyle’s been telling me has been contacting him, saying it’s urgent she speaks with me. She’s been hanging on like a bad fucking dream. Kyle's threatened her with a restraining order, but it just seems to make her want me more. The fact that I'm unobtainable and want her to leave me the fuck alone, and the fact that I didn’t want to bother Sophia with this drama during her birth or our time with Ava afterward.

  Apparently, Ava’s birth in the tabloids is making her seek me out again. Desperate for attention.

  "She said she was dropping by to see you after your night together the other night. Wanted to leave this," she glances at the underwear, "for you. Said to tell you that she misses you and can't wait to see you."

  "What the fuck. Sophia, list-"

  She cuts me off by standing from the chair abruptly, the legs scraping against the hardwood. "Do not, Hayes. I don't want to hear it. You know, after the past couple of weeks, I really thought that this was going to work. I really thought that somehow in this crazy situation that we were going to be alright. You had me completely fooled. Utterly. The ring, the doting father, all of it. Was it all a lie?”

  Tears stream down her cheeks, and a part of me dies. I’m causing those tears, but if she’d just listen then I could explain.