Dealing with Blue

by Stacia Leigh

  “What?” She gawked and then slapped his shoulder hard. “You’re real mature.” She scoffed.

  “Hey, I’m a guy. You flashed me, and I’m never gonna forget it. Truth.” He smiled. She didn’t.

  Too much too soon? She was his type, but somehow the way he’d said it sounded all wrong. The right words escaped him once again. He’d simply meant there were no barriers. He liked everything about her. Her eyes, her laugh, her boobs, those legs, and yeah, she was smart, but he didn’t necessarily want to picture her brain at night. That would be weird. He shrugged helplessly. “You know what? Forget what I said. I like you, onion layers and all, and I want to make us a real thing.”

  “What about getting my driver’s license?”

  “What about Bozeman?”

  “J.J., I’ve got problems at home.” She held up her hand. “Things I can’t talk about.”

  “Then you can’t drive my truck anymore, plain and simple.” He crossed his arms over his chest smugly. Take that, Suzy Blue. “I don’t want you leaving, so I’m not going to make it easy.”

  “I’ll talk to Will, then. He said he’d—”

  “Will’s a drunk.”

  “So that’s how you talk about your friends?” She threw her hands on her hips.

  “He’s my best friend. I’d bleed for the guy, and he knows it. But it doesn’t mean I’d let the people I care about ride with him.”

  Suzy turned away to face the water’s edge. “I’d be doing the driving, not him,” she said quietly.

  “Nope,” J.J. said, and she spun around pinning him with a glare. He shook his head. “Not going to happen. I’ll talk to Will about it, too.”

  “Charlie will let me, then.” She pointed her finger at him. “I’ve got a long list of people. You can’t stop me.”

  “You’ve been talking to that chuckhole?” J.J.’s head felt like it was going to pop off. He’d told the scrawny “rock star” how Suzy was his girl. He hadn’t thought too much about Charlie making doe eyes at her in class, but then who knew how many times Up Chuck had been at the bakery when J.J. wasn’t there? What had Charlie been saying to her while he leaned on the glass counter? Did he go out of his way to touch her palm when he paid for his pecan sandies?

  J.J. suddenly wanted to kill the dirty hobgob.

  “Hey, don’t you call him that. Charlie’s a very nice person.” Suzy’s lips compressed into thin lines.

  Hot steam slithered up the back of his head, hearing her defend Up Chuck’s honor. The guy had no style, no personality, and most likely, no tattoo. J.J. never did get a straight answer about the ink. He slapped a palm onto his forehead and groaned.

  Oh, God. So this was jealousy? And all over a skinny creeper, for crying out loud. Suzy’d really done it to him.

  “You think everyone’s a nice person,” he said. “But I’m here to tell you Up Chuck has ulterior motives.”

  “And you don’t?” she jeered. “You want to say we’re having a ‘real’ relationship, so you can make Gemma jealous and still paw at me, and what do I get? Nothing! I get used, abused, and tossed aside with no license because you won’t let me drive your truck. Pretty ulterior if you ask me.”

  “Truck, truck, truck! What about me? Don’t you care about me?”

  “Why? You’re a control freak, and who needs that? I don’t!” Suzy pushed at his chest and ducked under the chrome side mirror, fists swinging. She stomped up the rut through the packed grass, then turned to yell, “Go back to Gemma where you belong!” She flung her arms out wide. “This deal’s over. Over! You hear me?” She dropped her arms as if they’d turned into fence posts and marched up the slope toward the main road.

  “Wait, Suzy. I’m sorry!” J.J. chased her, his boots skidding in the packed dirt, and grabbed at her elbow. He swung her around to face him. “You’re tearing me up inside. Look at me. I’m a mess.” He dropped his chin and shook his head. When he looked back up, Suzy’s eyes were sparking, and he swallowed hard. “You’ve got me shaking over my best pal and that gob, Up Chuck. Don’t leave.” J.J. wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. Tighter. “I don’t want you to go to Montana. Please…just stay.”

  “Staying here with you means staying with my mom,” she murmured into his shoulder.

  J.J. pulled back to search her face. Peaches and cream with brilliant, aqua-blue eyes, his new favorite color. They weren’t sparking with murder anymore. Only with confusion…about him. And he felt the same. Never once had he been this strung out. He’d told Gemma he wasn’t jealous because he’d trusted her, and she’d said, It’s not about trust. Don’t you get it? Man, she’d been right. It was the thought of wrecking his heart and losing someone important, someone like Suzy. The thought made him go nuts.

  “Talk to me, Suzy. I’m serious about you. Tell me what’s going on at home with your mom. Tell me your favorite color. What kind of car do you want? Are you a dog person or do you like cats? I want us to get to know each other. Have fun, hold hands. All of it.” He tucked the coppery strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t care if we party hard, get loud and crazy, or if we snuggle up on the couch and whisper mushy things to each other.”

  “You’re going back to Gemma,” she said with an air of certainty.

  “No, I’m not.” He shook his head.

  “I’m convenient, remember?”

  Did he really say that to her? He looked at the toe of his dusty boot. He ought to kick that thing between his own denim pockets. He was a horrible boyfriend. No wonder Gemma broke up with him, which turned out to be a good thing. But seriously, how could he make Suzy see how much he’d changed? He was a good person, too. So why couldn’t she see the good in him, like she did everyone else?

  Man, he was moping.

  “I don’t know why I said that,” he said earnestly.

  “I do.” Suzy laughed without any humor and pulled away from him. “Because I live right behind you, duh. I am convenient.”

  “No.” J.J. snagged her hand and held it. “I’ve always thought you were stunning. I wish Mrs. Norton would have changed our seating arrangement earlier. I can’t think of being with anyone else but you. Give me a chance. I won’t renege on our deal. You can still drive my truck, okay? But I’m going to work hard to make you want to stay here…with me. I’m going to show you how good we are together.”

  “How’re you going to do that Mr. James Jefferson?” Suzy said.

  “I knew I shouldn’t have told you my name.” He smiled and tugged her hand. She stepped forward willingly, so he turned to walk past his truck, guiding her behind him. “C’mon, I want to show you something.”

  “I’m not skinny dipping,” she said.

  “Man, you’re tough.” He laughed. He hadn’t even thought of it. She acted like Little Miss Priss on the outside, but inside, Wild Suzy Blue ran full throttle. His heart tripped with every beat, and his skin tingled, the wind toying with his goosebumps. He sipped at the air, inflating his heart to triple size, until he nearly floated away on the spring breeze, but thank the still blue sky, Suzy wound her fingers through his. It warmed him and anchored his boot heels on the rocky path.

  With each step, he pulled her closer to the dense fir trees and big leaf maples, closer to the grove of red dogwoods lining the shore, closer to the dank shade and the cool lake.

  Closer.

  * * *

  Suzy allowed J.J. to pull her down the trail into the dark trees. Low hanging branches blocked the light with crisscrossing sprigs of leaves and needles and skeins of moss. It was both eerie and—

  “It’s cold.” Suzy shivered and looked back. The truck got smaller, and the sky quickly disappeared under the heavy foliage. Her heart flip-flopped in her chest, not knowing whether it should beat along casually or anticipate a swift action out of nowhere. How was she supposed to feel?

  Dark…where would all this lead to?

  Light…J.J. wants to be with me.

  Shame…I’m cohabiting with vermin.

  Buzzed…
he said I’m beautiful.

  Guilt…he doesn’t really know me.

  Curious…what if?

  He lured her past a thicket of salmonberries farther into the dark trees. She tugged to pull her hand free, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

  “It’s not far.” J.J. murmured over his shoulder.

  He radiated cool, yet she thawed out next to him. With each date, each touch, each word, her reserve had melted, slowly, like sap on a summer day. But they’d been pretending all this time, and it’d been safe. Now what? What if she let her guard down, and he decided he didn’t like her after all? Her heart could only take so much. Her dad was gone; she couldn’t even call him, and though her mom was right there, sharing the same nine-hundred square feet of space, Marsha was unreachable. If Suzy didn’t keep herself protected, she’d break into a thousand pieces. Then, who would she be?

  She should run back now. Run to the road, creep on home, climb in her window, and hide under her comfortable quilt. Hide from Mr. Ten Below because he was bad news.

  Instead of pulling free and hot-footing it out of there, she gazed at his tan hand wrapped around hers. Her eyes traveled up his wrist to forearm to elbow to full bicep. His rounded shoulder hid under a thin, rusty-red t-shirt, and his back advertised long, sleek muscles. His sunglasses hung there, at his neck, which wasn’t thick or fuzzy, but smooth and nice. Then…that hair. It was brown and gold, a mass of rumpled curls, like he washed it in the salty Pacific, and let it air dry. In one word, he was exhilarating.

  Suzy made an effort not to sigh and ended up stumbling over a tree root. Klutz! She tried to pull away, but J.J. gripped her hand to steady her.

  “Shhh.” He half turned, smiling with those devilish, green eyes and a finger to his lips. “Be quiet.”

  What was she doing here? They were worlds apart. He was freedom, a breath of fresh air, wild, and good looking. Better question, what was he doing with her? She was Miss Safety Pants, stuck in a dump with big problems. She needed out, to flee. But he wanted her to stay. How could she stay with her mom? Suzy’s nerves quivered at the thought; she couldn’t do it. Besides, once J.J. found out about the wall of garbage, he’d clutch that crazy hair of his and beg for Gemma to save him.

  He stopped at a giant tree surrounded by budding out salal bushes.

  Suzy glanced around, expecting to see some grassy bed tucked away where he’d planned on a grope session. But there were only trees, shrubs, the muddy trail, and the rim of the lake. She frowned. No love nest cozily tucked away? Why’d he drag her down here then? Part of her wanted more, wanting what she didn’t want.

  “Listen. Hear that?” he whispered, looking down at her and slowly dragging a branch down with one hand. He peered inside. “Look.”

  Suzy stepped closer to J.J., and her hand dropped when he let it go. His touch wasn’t gone for long, though. He draped his arm around her back and tucked her into his side—definitely the touchy-feely type, which was kind of nice.

  “Look,” he said.

  Down in the branches sat a little, woven nest with three baby birds huddled together. Their beady, black eyes and yellow beaks bobbed back and forth, cautious and curious.

  “There’s four of ‘em. Cute, aren’t they?” he said softly into Suzy’s temple. She nodded; they were precious, like this moment. She turned to capture the look on his face. His cheeks were tinged with color from the spring air, and his expression was soft and nurturing.

  “I only see three,” she said quietly.

  “What? There were four eggs a couple days ago. Maybe they’re sitting on the other one.” J.J.’s eyes searched over the birds and the nest. He closed the branch gently, peered around the shrubs, and then dropped his gaze to the dirt next to his boots. He clutched his hair. “Man…sucks. I wonder what happened.”

  “You never know.” Suzy shrugged. “Maybe the egg never hatched.” He looked like a big, mother hen, worrying over his chicks. Where did Mr. Cool go? Should she reach out to him? Rub his back, whisper a there-there in his ear, comfort him somehow? Were they really going out, or was J.J.’s “let’s make this a real thing” some kind of post-kiss diversion? Was he playing her?

  “I hope nothing got it.” He looked down the path and hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “My fishing hole is down the trail a ways by the diving rock. When I was here a couple days ago, I watched a pair of dark-eyed juncos fly in and out, guarding their nest.” He nodded his chin. “You wanna keep walking? I can show you where the rainbows bite.”

  Suzy narrowed her eyes at him. The way he said “rainbows” with his brow quirked…was that supposed to mean something? Was he really talking about fishing? Or was it code for something else? Part of her wanted to explore those rainbows with him, but the stronger, pushier part told her she was way out of her league with this guy. She didn’t know when he was serious or when he was joking around. One more reason why they wouldn’t work out.

  “I’m cold. I think we should head back.” Suzy hugged herself. “Plus, I left my fleece in your truck, and I really think it’s going to rain.”

  “I’m not going to ravage you in the shrubs, geez.” J.J. laughed and pushed his hands into his front pockets. He glanced at his feet, then at her in a sort of bashful way. “Okay…not unless you want me to. I just want to spend time with you. That’s it.” His eyes were set to stun again, radiating a brilliant green.

  Dazzling. Time to buck up your personal fortress, Suz.

  “Listen, J.J.” Suzy gently stroked her temple. How to put this lightly? She shook her head. “I don’t think we’re—”

  “Yes, we are.” J.J. reached out and took her hand away from her face. “Give me a chance. You’ll see. I’m a good guy. I’ll prove it to you.”

  “How?”

  “Go out with me tomorrow night. I’ll show you my good side. I’m a perfect gentleman.” He grinned, emitting such confidence that there was no doubt he believed it.

  She studied the toes of her wild shoes and the idiom, a leopard can’t change its spots came to mind. But she wanted to change hers. She wanted to kick these flats off and run around barefoot, heart full and free. She studied J.J. as he leaned in her direction, waiting almost anxiously for her to answer. Go out with me…

  Of all the times she and J.J.’d pretended together, she’d always asked, “What if?” Now the question was, “Why not?” A single night with the good-looking Mr. Cool, what could go wrong? The cons: he’d go back to Gemma, break Suzy’s heart in the process, and make a fool out of her. The pros: Suzy could kiss those lips again, no worries, and if the ember between them could be fanned into something bigger, maybe they could run away together and fly like a pair of juncos. Suzy shivered as a cool breeze rustled the leaves around her. She picked tendrils of hair off her face as she studied him.

  “Please,” he said and pressed a hand against his red t-shirt, his green eyes glinting, even in the shadows. “Gimme a chance. Let me show you.”

  His whiskered jaw was another pro, along with his fine cheek bones and his straight nose. His eyes sparkled with good humor and affection. His dark brows perked up on his forehead nearly hidden under his wild hair that looked like he ran his fingers through it a thousand and one times a day. Mr. Cool was hot.

  A chance. Why not? Her heart swelled.

  “Okay,” she said and smiled up at J.J., who bent down as if he might kiss her. But a loud crack of thunder reverberated in the darkening sky, and they jumped apart. Her heart slammed in her chest at the adrenaline rush, and as soon as she thought it, it happened. The clouds burst open and threw down sheets of cold water. “It’s raining!” Suzy laughed at saying the obvious.

  “This is unreal! Let’s get out of here,” J.J. hollered over the drumming.

  She lifted her face up to the sudden downpour, nature’s more serious spring shower. It was a sign of new beginnings, and her arms broke out in a wave of goosebumps.

  “My work shirt…” Suzy pinched the soggy hem and peeled i
t away from her skin. “It’s totally soaked!”

  J.J. slicked water off his face and glanced at her wet t-shirt. “Didn’t I say? You’re driving me crazy!”

  She giggled and darted down the muddy path toward the silver truck. It grew bigger and bigger as she raced past the trees, splashing through the puddles in front of J.J. like a runaway deer.

  Exhilarating!

  Chapter 14: The Cliffs

  Buzz! Suzy’s cell phone hummed against the green laminate countertop next to the bathroom sink. She drug the comb through her hair one last time and then pushed her makeup bag aside to see what J.J. had to say now.

  JJ: What are you wearing?

  He was so bad. He’d been texting her all day, every hour of her shift at the Butterhorn. She didn’t text at work and told him so, but it didn’t stop him. When she’d hung up her apron six hours later and checked her phone, there blinked a stockpile of messages.

  JJ: Did your shirt dry in time for work? Hope so.

  JJ: Was Chuckles there? Don’t answer that.

  JJ: Wait. Was he?

  JJ: You drive me crazy!

  JJ: When are you done?

  JJ: I’m hungry. Bring your man a cream puff?

  JJ: Done yet? Lol.

  She put a cream puff on her tab, waved goodbye to the Butter Me Up crew, including the regulars, and with a smile, pushed open the jingling door to bump straight into J.J. out front.

  “I’m not stalking you, I swear.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. The sun rays reflected brilliantly in his hair and in the smattering of unshaved whiskers along his jaw. “I’m here for my sweet treat, and…” His dark eyebrows lifted behind his brown shades. “…to walk my cream puff home.”

  “Why didn’t you pick me up in your truck? Now you have to walk all the way back.”

  “Didn’t feel like it. Besides, it’s not the same without you behind the wheel.” He nudged her with his elbow.