Fallen Dom

by Lexxi James

  Kathryn flipped through the chart in a poor attempt to gather her thoughts. “Uh, he’s stable. I’m not his doctor. I’m a nurse.”

  “Oh.”

  The ring of disappointment in Chelsea’s voice was oh-so-familiar. As if Kathryn’s day couldn't get crappier, Jake’s ex had instantly relegated her to the B-team because the initials following her name were RN and not MD.

  “I was hoping to speak with someone who knew what was going on. No offense,” Chelsea said. When Kathryn stayed quiet, Chelsea picked up Jake’s lifeless hand. “Jake, please don’t leave me.”

  Stunned, Kathryn stared at her. Leave you?

  “Do you believe in second chances?” Chelsea asked, and Kathryn could only stand back with a silent nod. “I can’t lose him again. I was wrong about so many things. But I know I can make it right. I just need a chance.”

  She pulled Jake’s limp hand to her cheek, kissing his palm. It was only then that Kathryn caught the glint of Chelsea’s engagement ring.

  Kathryn dropped the chart back in the pocket at the foot of the bed, freeing her hands to wipe her eyes. About to leave, she was stopped by the doctor entering.

  “Oh, no one should be visiting now,” the doctor said to Chelsea. “I heard his fiancée was waiting, but I’m sorry, you’ll have to go for now. Nurse?”

  Reactive and mechanical, Kathryn answered in the role she’d always played. “Yes, Doctor?”

  He motioned for her to escort Chelsea out. “We’ll keep you informed,” he said to Chelsea, “but stay in the waiting room. You’ll be able to see him soon. Very soon.”

  And just like that, Kathryn had been dismissed from the main chapter of her life.

  Seeing Chelsea kiss Jake’s cheek nearly killed Kathryn. She could only release her breath with the echo of Jake’s voice. Breathe, kitten.

  Keeping up appearances, she passed the doctor, holding Chelsea’s shoulders for her own support. Obediently, she led the woman to the waiting room, holding back her own tears as Chelsea sobbed.

  “I just saw him. I shouldn’t have let him go. Why did I let him go? We’re meant for each other. Childhood sweethearts. Engaged. Our parents are still best friends. Now, everything is such a mess. He was so upset about the pregnancy . . . it was the whole reason he gave me his house. Now all I can think about is him. I just need a second chance. He has to be all right. I need him.”

  Pregnancy?

  Sniffling, Chelsea flashed the ring, more to herself. But Kathryn couldn’t help brushing the naked finger of her own hand.

  “I put it back on after I saw him,” Chelsea said as she dabbed at her eyes with the tissues. “He showed up out of the blue, and it’s like nothing had changed. He was back. I saw it all in his eyes. I love him, and I know deep down, he loves me.”

  At the door to the waiting room, Chelsea pulled Kathryn into a hug, smothering the last ounce of strength from her soul. “Please, please—give him back to me.”

  For no reason at all, Kathryn hugged her back, an automatic response she’d given a million times before when the friends and family of patients needed it. Pushing aside her own gut-wrenching feelings, she reverted to Kathryn-the-nurse, determined to lift someone else.

  Firming her own voice, Kathryn reassured Chelsea. “I will.”

  After leaving the waiting room, Kathryn took a long, lonely walk back to the ICU. Watching Jake’s chest rise and fall as air was forced in and out of his lungs, she stood next to his bed, knowing when he opened his eyes, he’d see the woman he was meant for . . . Chelsea.

  Kathryn rubbed his hand. He deserved more than what she could give him. The life he’d known before war had ripped it away. Now it was his turn for a second chance.

  He’d been gone so long that night. With Chelsea. Of course he’d stick by Kathryn. But now, it was as clear as day. He wasn’t in love with her. Just . . . indebted.

  Sleeping, he stirred, tightening his hand around hers. His grip squeezed every tear from her eyes and ache from her heart. Kathryn licked the salt from her tear-soaked lips and kissed him on the cheek.

  She’d never be ready to let go. But she could do this. For him.

  Her whisper was soft in his ear. “I’m giving you back your life. I love you, Jake.”

  Thirty-Four

  What happened? Where’s Kathryn?

  Morphine messes with the mind, but not this much. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

  The more Jake came to, the more he worried. Did something happen to her? He scanned the room, realizing he wasn’t imagining the person standing next to him.

  Chels? What’s she doing here?

  The news was on, silently broadcasting from a flat-screen TV hanging from the ceiling. Based on the captions scrolling along the bottom of the screen, today was Thursday. I’ve been here two days. A few minutes passed, and the doctor and nurses surrounding his bed explained they’d slowly inch the tube from his throat.

  And not a moment too soon. He needed to find out what had happened to Kathryn.

  Once the tube was gone, his husky voice strained to push out a semi-coherent thought. He meant to say Kathryn, but it came out differently. “Kitten.”

  Confused, the doctor and nurses looked at Chelsea, who looked back at him.

  “Sounded like you said . . . kitten,” Chelsea said, and his drugged head nodded. “You want a kitten?”

  Her laughter couldn’t irritate him more, a high-pitched mix of relief and ridicule.

  “Don’t worry,” she said, “we’ll get you a kitten as soon as you get out of here. Just relax. You’ve got a lot of recovering to do, mister.” She rubbed his arm, and his opioid-laden body was alarmingly fine with her hand on him. “And I’m going to be right here by your side.”

  He mentally repeated her words.

  Right here by my side? Did I wake up in the Twilight Zone?

  His eyes tracked her as she stood.

  “I need to go, but I’ll be back.” Her lips pressed against his as he tried backing his head further into the firm hospital pillow.

  Holy shit, this isn’t the Twilight Zone. I’ve died and gone to hell.

  With Chelsea out the door, he managed to move, grabbing the scrubs of the nearby nurse as he struggled to speak.

  “Easy. Don’t strain too hard,” she said. “Voice loss is a common side effect of the tube. It’ll come back.”

  He motioned with his hand, miming scribbling in the air.

  “You want a notepad?” the nurse asked, and he nodded with a relieved smile.

  He couldn’t quite grip the pen she brought him at first, but pushed out the large letters across the pad to write Kathryn and then Chase.

  The nurse shook her head, and he added the word nurse before it. Again, nothing.

  Nothing?

  He had another idea and flipped to a fresh sheet, where he wrote three words: Detective Scott Delaney. The nurse shrugged, finally catching on when he added the word Urgent.

  With a nod, the nurse headed out. “I’ll get a hold of him.”

  Jake had dozed off but jolted awake at the knock at the door.

  Scott let himself in. “Hey. If you’re sleeping, I can come back.”

  Jake waved him in, smiling in relief at the sight of his good friend.

  “Damn, man. Once a hero, always a hero, huh?” Scott rolled the nurse’s stool over next to the bed and sat down. “Don’t worry. That son of a bitch will be behind bars for a long time. Hey, they said your voice will take a few days to return, so now I can give you all the shit I want without all the pesky back talk.”

  Still clutching the notepad, Jake flipped back to the first sheet and tapped the pen to the page, pointing at the word Kathryn.

  “What about her?”

  Desperate, he added okay with a question mark.

  Scott nodded with a curious lift of his shoulders. “Yeah, I think so. She was here.”

  Jake’s frantic scribbling resulted in a string of all caps. FIND HER.

  “Okay, okay. No need to yel
l.” Scott hurried out the door, then ducked his head back in. “Glad to see you’re better than ever, barking orders like I work for you.”

  They exchanged a grin before Scott headed out for good.

  With the important stuff out of the way, Jake drafted another note. Satisfied as he reread it, he rang for the nurse. Cheerfully, she entered. “Hey there. How can I make your day brighter?”

  Jake handed her the folded piece of paper, studying her as she looked it over. The kittens stamped across her scrubs made him smile.

  She nodded. “You got it. I’ll make sure the staff knows to keep her out.” She checked his saline bag and vitals, then flipped through his chart. “Looks like you’ve declined pain meds for a while. You should really stay ahead of the pain.” Too late. “Need a little something to take the edge off?” Even pain addicts have their limits. His slight nod was all she needed. With a wink, she said, “I’ll be right back.”

  With a deep sigh of relief, he laid back. At least he could rest easy knowing when he woke up, Chels wouldn’t be pawing him.

  Thirty-Five

  The knock at Kathryn’s door was demanding. She confirmed her suspicions through the peephole and stayed quiet.

  “Open up, Kathryn. I traced your cell signal here.”

  Dammit. Shouldn’t you be chasing bad guys?

  After opening the door a cautious crack, she felt like an idiot and pulled it wide open. “Hi, Detective,” she said, greeting him with a wary smile. His hopeful expression didn’t go unnoticed, and she finally relented. “Come in.”

  “Should I be offended by the warm welcome?”

  Not ready to talk, she was embarrassed when her eyes filled with tears.

  He gently touched her elbow. “Hey, Kathryn, what is it?”

  She made her way to the couch and he followed, sitting on a chair with assurance in his eyes.

  “Jake’s all right. He’s out of the woods.”

  Shaking her head, she took a moment to let the tears pour out. He waited until she was ready to talk.

  “It’s not that.” She tugged a few tissues free from the box, dabbing her cheeks and taking a breath into them. “Did you know Jake was engaged?”

  Delaney’s face dropped. “What? No. I’ve known the guy for two years. I’m a detective. If he was engaged or even on the verge of it, I’d know. He’s never mentioned a woman in his life until you.”

  “No,” she said, trying to explain. “Before his last deployment, he had a fiancée. He had . . . a whole life.”

  Delaney sighed. “I don’t understand.”

  “Did he tell you who I was?” she asked, and Delaney shook his head. “I’m the nurse who saved his life. He’s with me because he thinks he owes me. But he doesn’t.”

  Kathryn dropped her gaze, staring at her hands twisting the tissues in her lap.

  “I saw his fiancée. She’s still in love with him. And if I wasn’t in the way, he’d . . .” She sniffed into the tissues. “If I’m out of the picture, he’ll finally get the life that he was cheated out of. And he deserves it. He’s been through hell. He’s owed his life back. I have the power to make that happen. And I will.”

  Thirty-Six

  Twelve days later

  The longer Kathryn stayed away, the more she fell apart.

  Jake was fine. She knew at least that much. And Art was going to prison, with or without her testimony. There was no chance he’d enjoy freedom anytime soon. If he’d pulled this in another state, he’d be looking at the death penalty. And the notebook he was so desperate to get? She couldn’t touch it. That a few scribbles could nearly cost Jake his life was too much.

  Committed to moving past this all as quickly as possible, she perused the reservist job assignments. At least it kept her away from her phone. She’d shut it off when Jake’s texts started rolling in. And voice mails. And emails. Followed by everybody and their mother getting in on giving her advice.

  I’m off the grid.

  Well, except for the internet.

  Frustrated, she skimmed through the reservist openings. The countries were blurring together. For nearly two weeks now, she’d moped around her condo in the worst sort of funk. Nothing would kick her into high gear like getting back into the action. At least, her mind could focus on something other than Jake.

  Nursing. Her first love.

  Overseas. Far away from sitting around in sweats and crying with her best friends Ben and Jerry. But if she was doing this, it had to be in a country she hadn’t been to yet.

  In between saving lives, I can see the sights.

  The list of endless countries needing nurses trailed on and on.

  Afghanistan. Another listing in Afghanistan. Turkey. The UAE. Several countries in Asia. Even Italy. God, it’s like the need for nurses tripled since I left.

  A knock at the door pulled her from her laptop. Same old knock. But this time, the face in the peephole brightened her day.

  There was no use pretending. She was glad to see Delaney for more than one reason. She needed news, especially before saying good-bye to Colorado.

  Cracking the door open ever so slowly, she playfully peered through it. “Hey, Detective.” Then she flung it wide for him to enter. “Just kidding. Come in.”

  When Delaney didn’t bother going farther than a step in, she said, “I know I shouldn’t ask, but how’s Jake?”

  “Jake? Uh, he’s actually the reason I’m here. Listen, we have a situation, and I need your help.”

  Alarm creased her brow. “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s hard to explain. But we need to go. Now.”

  She looked down at the pink flannel pajamas she was wearing. Not exactly ready for prime time. “Sure, just let me change.”

  Delaney shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. You can grab your purse, and a jacket if you like, but we’ve got to go.”

  She grabbed her purse and her longest coat, fashion forward in an ensemble that screamed bag lady as she followed him to his car. He opened the passenger side door, letting her close it herself as he raced around to the driver’s side.

  Seconds later, they were heading toward the freeway.

  “Look,” she said, “you’re freaking me the fuck out, pardon my French. What the hell’s going on?”

  “Please, Kathryn. This is hard for me too. Just . . . let me do what I need to do.”

  “Do I need an attorney?”

  “No.”

  “For the love of God, Detective, throw me a bone?”

  Delaney gave her an apologetic look. “I can’t. I wish I could. Please don’t worry. Just sit back. We’ll be there soon.”

  After twenty minutes of simmering, Kathryn’s freak-out boiled over. As they rolled through the massive gates of Jake’s compound, she turned to Delaney. “Is something wrong with Jake?”

  The detective stayed silent as he drove up the winding drive to the front of the house. He fiddled with his cell, and a garage door opened.

  They got out together.

  She was on his heels, racing through the corridor. At the foreboding door with the metal access panel, they stopped, and the detective just stood there.

  “What are we waiting for?” she asked.

  He gave her an embarrassed shrug. “I don’t actually know.”

  Behind that door, Jake could be hurt. Or just needing her help. Shoving Delaney aside, she pressed her palm to the panel, not knowing what else to do.

  Surprising even her, the door unlocked. She couldn’t wait for it to open all the way before squeezing in.

  “Jake?” Whirling around to the detective, she caught him closing the door but remaining on the other side. “What are you doing?”

  “Repaying a debt.” Raising his voice, Delaney shouted, “We’re even.”

  The door shut.

  “There you are,” an irritated voice boomed from the top of the stairs.

  She looked up. Despite the scold in his glare, Jake looked better than ever. Gorgeous and brooding, he was the man
she’d never stop loving.

  “You know,” he said as he stalked down the stairs, “after being shot, surviving surgery, and coming back from the clutches of death for a second time, how is it possible that Nurse Kathryn Chase was nowhere around?”

  His last step toward her was daunting. She took a small step back. Pocketing his hands, with his dark gaze bearing down on her, he waited for an answer.

  But she didn’t have one. Fumbling for words, she had to look away. Seeing those hazel eyes again burned her tears free.

  “You were in good hands,” she choked out. “The last thing you needed was a washed-up nurse.”

  Jake stepped closer. “I see. You stayed away to avoid my exposure to second-rate health care. Of course. Makes sense.” Each word was ripe with sarcasm. “Who does that? Leaves someone on death’s door without a care in the world?”

  The tsunami of tears was coming. She had no other options.

  Run.

  Kathryn raced for the door and opened it, but his large hand slammed it shut.

  She didn’t move. His body was too close. Too hot.

  Her forehead fell on the cold steel in front of her. “Let me go, Jake.”

  “Okay.” The word was soft but pained. “Answer one question, and you can take whatever car you want. Was it a lie?”

  “What?” she asked, avoiding the only question that would set her free.

  “All of it. Everything you said. Letting me think you were in love with me.”

  She suffered silently, unable to speak. It seemed to bring him closer.

  His low growl poured over her. “Answer me.”

  She sobbed through her words. “Jake, you don’t owe me anything. You deserve a second chance.”

  His stern voice softened. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean Chelsea. She still loves you. You can have your old life back, pick up where you left off. I won’t be in your way.”