Blind Passion

by Bronwyn Stuart

  “No. She will think that her big brother is irresistible and that you just couldn’t help yourself.”

  “Did you say something to her yesterday?” Sophie’s head snapped up to look him in the eye. Damn, she wished she could see his eyes. She had to know what was going on between them and he certainly wasn’t going to tell her.

  “Not really,” he said with a shrug.

  “Not really, as in?” Sophie prompted. She was going to die if she had to face his sister over the breakfast table.

  “Well she asked if I wanted her to set up the other guest room for me, you know turn down the quilt, make sure I wasn’t going to trip over and smash through the glass onto the lawn.”

  “And you told her...?”

  “No thank you,” he said politely.

  She slapped her hands onto his chest and pushed him away rolling off the bed to find her clothes.

  “Hey, what was that for?” he asked, pretending to be wounded.

  “You made her assume we were going to sleep together.”

  “We did, and I can’t make her assume anything, she is a very astute woman.”

  “You could have said ‘yes please’ and let her turn down your quilts anyway.”

  “What does it matter? We’re both adults, aren’t we? You’re not like really sixteen or something are you?” he joked, pulling the sheet up to his chin, preserving his modesty.

  Sophie threw her shoe at him. “How could you joke about this?”

  “Calm down, Sophie, what do you think she’s going to do? Ask for details? Lecture you on the evils of sex? You have noticed she is about to be mother to five kids.”

  “Argh,” she groaned. “You are impossible. You don’t understand.”

  “Well then tell me? Do you regret it?” he asked, his voice serious all of a sudden.

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “You said you were covered for birth control. You are aren’t you?”

  “I am.” She wouldn’t offer him any more info than that. She got monthly shots to prevent pregnancy even though she was no longer sexually active. Well, she hadn’t been before last night.

  “So we both agree it was incredible. We are also both consenting adults, what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t want her to think that I do this type of thing often.” And she didn’t. She was never going to see Michaela or her husband again after today but it grated that the other woman would think her a tramp when technically Brandan was only the second guy in her life she’d got naked with.

  “She won’t.” Brandan threw back the blankets and came to stand in front of her, turned slightly off centre but she didn’t correct him. “She likes you, I can tell.”

  “Do you really think so?” Sophie rested her head against his bare chest as his arms found her, circled her and squeezed her tight.

  “I know so.”

  “Brandan?” she asked tentatively.

  “Hmm,” His chest rumbled beneath her cheek

  “You’re naked.”

  “I thought that’s how you like me?”

  “When did I ever say that?”

  “You haven’t been in a hurry to find my clothes,” he pointed out.

  She had been so lost in her own nightmare she hadn’t even stopped to consider his position in all of this. This was his sister’s house. At least he wouldn’t have to look her in the eye over coffee.

  “Sorry,” Sophie muttered and went looking for his clothes while he stood naked in the middle of the room. He looked like a Greek statue, all rippling muscles and tight skin. When he lifted his arms to ruffle his hair above the bandage, she would swear he did it on purpose to show off.

  They showered quickly, dressed and went down to the courtyard where Michaela and Bruno were eating breakfast, the twins nowhere to be seen.

  “Good morning,” Michaela chimed with a smile when she saw them.

  “Morning,” Sophie replied quietly, her cheeks warming.

  Brandan sat in the chair Sophie directed him to and took the already filled coffee cup she put in his hand. Clearly he wasn’t going to help her at all. She should have put salt in it or something.

  “What have you guy’s got planned for today?” Bruno asked her.

  “Nothing really,” Sophie replied, glad that they weren’t going to pry. “I don’t know about Brandan.” She turned to him and squeezed his knee under the table in warning.

  “I have things...to do, back at the hotel,” he replied with a grin, clearly misunderstanding her nudge.

  This time it was Michaela who choked on her coffee, understanding exactly what her cheeky brother was getting at.

  She’d only meant to get them out of there, not dig herself even deeper.

  They got through an awkward breakfast and then with an equally awkward goodbye and a promise from Sophie to take care of Brandan they were in the sports car and on their way back down the coast.

  “You’re very quiet,” Brandan said after a silent hour passed.

  “You could have helped me out at breakfast.”

  “With what?” he asked, feigning innocence and squeezing her leg.

  “Very funny,” Sophie replied swatting his hand away. “I just didn’t want to stay any longer, not for you to tell her that we’re going back to the hotel to have sex like rabbits all day.”

  “Hmm, like rabbits huh?”

  “It was a figure of speech,” she said, slapping his hand when it inched higher and higher up her leg.

  “I really do have a few things to do.”

  “Sure you do. So, I can sit by the pool for a few hours?”

  “Only if you don’t wear that red bikini.”

  “What else am I supposed to wear? I don’t have anything else.” Why was he against the bikini, he hadn’t even seen it on her.

  “Wear a t-shirt over it then,” Brandan huffed.

  It dawned on her that he didn’t want anyone else to see her in it. “Why would I cover myself up? I was thinking about nude sunbathing,” she teased, feeling lighter than she had in days.

  “The hell you are,” he snarled.

  “Pity you won’t be there. Who will I ask to help with my sunscreen?” She tried not to laugh but it was priceless, the way his hands fisted on his knees and the vein in his neck throbbed.

  “If you keep this up I won’t let you leave the apartment.”

  “Is that right?” She pulled the car into the parking area in front of the hotel and killed the engine. “How were you planning to keep me there?” She was playing with him and it felt great.

  “I can think of a few ways...” he said, leaning over and kissing her.

  “Brandan, people are looking.”

  “Let them look,” he replied nonchalantly, opening his door and stepping out, stretching his back and legs.

  When she walked around the front of the car to lead him to the lobby, he grabbed her and held her flush against him taking her mouth again only this time he held her possessively, anyone watching would know she was his. That she was off-limits, taken. But was she?

  Sophie put one hand to her tingling lips astonished at the depth from that one kiss. It rocked her to her core.

  When finally she pulled herself back together she took his hand and walked with him through the hotel lobby, into the elevator and up to their suite. She left him in the lounge saying she needed to change for her swim.

  “If you need a hand with your work, let me know before I go up,” she told him before she closed her bedroom door.

  “And if you need a hand with your bikini, I’ll be right here,” he called out with a laugh.

  She hadn’t even stepped away from the door when she heard her cell phone ringing from where she’d left it charging on the kitchen counter. It hadn’t rung since yesterday, the shrill sound like nails scraping a chalk board.

  Sophie threw open the door and raced over to answer it, hoping that it was the detective with good news.

  “Hello,” she answered breathlessly.

  “I
nterrupting am I?” The harsh voice on the other end of the line literally made her stop, her skin crawled at the raspy tones.

  “What do you want?” She already knew the answer.

  “I will find you,” he told her.

  “You’re free now. Why don’t you just keep running? Flee the country?”

  “You know why.”

  “Max please, I can’t change the past.” Tears spilled down her cheeks but she barely noticed as the heavy boulder of despair lodged back in her gut chasing away the light emotions from the morning. Chasing away the happiness.

  “Would you? If you could?” her ex-husband asked.

  “Of course I would,” Sophie bit out. She would have done anything to undo it all.

  “Well since you can’t, you will have to pay for what you did.”

  “And who made you judge, jury and executioner?” she cried, slamming her hand down on the breakfast bar.

  “You did, you murdering bitch.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Truth hurts does it?” Max taunted.

  “Where are you?” Sophie could hear traffic in the background and what sounded like a train horn.

  “I’m close baby,” he said, his voice one step away from insane. “Closer than you think.”

  “Where are you?” she asked again.

  Before she could wait for his reply the phone was snatched out of her hands.

  “If you hurt one hair on her head, you’ll regret it,” Brandan promised with a growl.

  “Ah, you must be the flavour of the month,” Max goaded, she could still hear his toxic ravings.

  “You must be the psychotic ex.”

  “Has she told you yet?”

  “She’s none of your business.”

  “I wonder…Does she think of me while you’re fucking her?” Max asked crudely.

  “Listen asshole. Don’t call her, don’t track her, don’t even think about her or I’ll make you regret the day you met her.”

  “I already do pal. She hasn’t told you yet. Has she?”

  “Told me what?”

  “No, Brandan, give me the phone.” This was it. It would all be over before it had even begun. She turned away when he refused, not wanting to hear Max’s next words but unable to shut it all out.

  “Better listen to the little tramp,” Max sneered.

  “Told me what?” Brandan asked again.

  “Ask her why I came after her. Ask her about the life she took away from me.” And then the line went dead. After a few seconds the beeping tone made Brandan realise he still held the phone to his ear. Sophie watched it all with a horror she’d felt so many times before.

  “Why did you answer the call?” Brandan asked her before she could say a word in her defence. Before she could come up with a lie to placate him.

  Bile rose in the back of his throat as he contemplated asking her what he really wanted to know. He knew she’d been hiding something from him but murder? She would’ve been in jail as well if she killed someone. Maybe it was an unfortunate accident, maybe he hadn’t been talking about a person but a beloved family pet? If it had been a person why wasn’t she serving time too? Unless they’d both kept it quiet? Maybe he’d been talking about the life they would have had? God, things just kept getting more confusing.

  “I didn’t know it was him.”

  “Is it true?” He had to know.

  “Is what true?” she asked, her voice cracking.

  “He said...He said you took a life from him.”

  Sophie started to sob, the sound ripped his heart in two, the bubble he’d so carefully formed popped.

  “What did he mean Sophie?” He grabbed her hand in his iron grip, scared she would run.

  “I did take a life from him,” Sophie answered quietly.

  “How can that be true?” He was nearly yelling. How could he have got it so wrong? He’d thought she was different, a damsel in distress, but clearly she wasn’t above lying to get what she wanted.

  “It is,” she admitted.

  He waited. And waited. “You aren’t going to tell me what happened? That it was some kind of accident and you’re not to blame.”

  “I won’t lie to you,” Sophie admitted, her next words a whisper but holding all the force of a freight train at full speed. “I killed my baby.”

  “What?” There was no way she could kill a child? Was there? It wasn’t like he really knew her.

  While he was considering his next question, she tore free of his slack grip. Her footsteps slapped the marble, the elevator dinged and then the doors closed.

  “SOPHIE?!” he roared, but she was already gone.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The elevator doors opened on the ground floor and Sophie ran through the lobby, past a confused concierge, past the people waiting for valet outside and past the tourists on the street. She could barely see where she was going for the tears in her eyes. She just had to be alone.

  Why did Max have to tell him? Why had she confirmed it? She could have just told him it was Max’s idea of a bad joke. She could have lied. She should have lied. Would he have believed her though? He’d been quick enough to believe Max.

  No. Not after last night. He deserved nothing less than the truth from her, but what truth? She had hoped that no-one would ever know the sordid details but leave it to Max to turn another person against her.

  She sat down heavily on the sand a few meters back from the gently lapping waves and let her mind wander to the time she’d been happy, when they’d both been happy.

  When Max had first started talking about having children they were still newlyweds. Sophie told him repeatedly she wasn’t ready. They couldn’t afford it. She was building a career. He didn’t listen...

  “Let’s just wait a few more years,” she’d said to him one day while they were sitting on the couch in their Adelaide home watching the television.

  “Wait for what?” Max asked. “We’re not getting any younger.”

  “I’m only twenty-one.” Sophie had laughed his comment off. Since when was early twenties old?

  “Still, what’s the harm?” His hands had wandered to the buttons on her jeans as though he wanted to start trying right away.

  “We barely have a house. We have no savings. What would we offer a child?” She’d pushed his hands away and stood up.

  “The same thing that most couples do, a loving home, two parents. We could get a dog? Build a picket fence.”

  “That’s not enough and I don’t see that a dog would help. We’re never home.”

  “It is enough and you’ll be home after the baby comes.”

  That was the first of many arguments. About four months later she missed a period, and then the next month another. When the pregnancy test came back positive Sophie just about fainted. They’d been using protection. Max had asked her after they first married not to take the pill since it heightened your chances of cancer and she’d agreed, so blind and in love and touched he worried for her health and wellbeing. She couldn’t remember that a condom had broken, Max hadn’t said anything. The fantasy world she’d created tumbled down when she checked the rest of the condoms in his bedside drawer, finding small holes pricked into the centre of each one, a sewing pin resting neatly alongside. She’d bolted to the bathroom and vomited.

  By the time she had control of her heaving stomach she went back and sat on the bed, the pregnancy test in her hand, the pin in the other.

  Max found her like that when he came home from work. He jumped up and down excitedly when he saw the positive test.

  “You did this to me,” Sophie accused quietly.

  “It takes two to tango, baby,” he crowed.

  “How many pins does it take to get me pregnant?”

  He didn’t answer. She still remembered the obstinate look in his eyes when she asked him how long he had been sabotaging their birth control.

  The answer? From their wedding night.

  Max had been trying to knock her up si
nce the day he promised to love, honour and cherish her. To never lie to her, to always protect her no matter what.

  To Sophie it was the ultimate betrayal. Instead of being given the choice to have children, the man who proposed to love her had robbed her of that decision and made it for her. For them both.

  As the months rolled by and the morning sickness became all day sickness, instead of growing to love the life inside of her, Sophie only resented the baby more and more. Max booked all of her obstetric appointments and made sure she went to them. He had tears in his eyes the first time they saw the baby’s heartbeat. He tried to make her quit her job but that was the only choice she had left and she wasn’t going to give it up.

  Not one day did she truly feel happy about the pregnancy, until the first time the baby kicked. At first it had been nothing more than a flutter. After a few days a more pronounced nudge near her hip. A few weeks after that her unborn child had got the hiccups. It was almost like she could feel a heartbeat inside of her still flat tummy.

  She didn’t tell Max about the kicking or the hiccups. It was a private treasure and she’d wanted to keep all to herself. She hadn’t let Max anywhere near her since discovering the pregnancy and he’d been only too happy ‘not to hurt the baby’. With every kick and tumble, Sophie grew more aware of the miracle of having a child growing inside of you and a bit less of the deceitful way the baby had come about. Her heart started to melt towards her husband until she was almost ready to forgive him.

  About a week after the twenty-one week ultrasound to determine birth defects and the sex, Sophie woke with terrible cramps early in the morning. As the day progressed the cramps got stronger and then the bleeding started. She was rushed by ambulance to the hospital but it was too late. Her little girl had died. And a large piece of her heart with it.

  “I am really sorry, Sophie, your placenta came away from your uterus and the baby couldn’t get oxygen or blood anymore,” her obstetrician had told her, his eyes filled with tears over her loss.

  “No,” she sobbed, grabbing him by the collar of his stark white coat, pulling hard. “I felt her, she was kicking, she was rolling around yesterday.”