For Him: The Complete Series: A Dark Romance

by Marissa Farrar

  I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn’t help it. For the moment, I only wanted her to be safe, but in the long term, I wanted her to have a happy life, too.

  How was she going to do that if she was with me?

  Thoughts started creeping into my head. Catalina was a no one in the real world. She didn’t even exist. Maybe we could make that work for her. If I was able to get her some fake ID, no one would have any reason to question it, since she didn’t exist as any other person.

  She could just vanish, and my father and Torres would never be able to find her.

  I was the one holding her back.

  It would be far harder for me to become a different person.

  Catalina had said she wanted to be a real member of society—she didn’t want to have to fake everything—but it wasn’t that easy. While my father and Torres were after us, we had no choice but to masquerade as other people. Anything else could get us both killed.

  I wanted her to feel like a real member of society, however. There was so much about her life that I’d never considered before. Even though we’d grown up together, just her being a slave’s daughter, and me being the master’s son, had offered us two very different outlooks on life. I’d seen the compound as home, and while it had been home to her, it had also been her prison. I’d never considered myself to be less of a person, but she’d always thought of herself as barely a person at all. The thought broke my heart. I wished I’d done more for her growing up.

  And right now, I knew there was no possibility of her making her own way in the world. There was so much she didn’t yet know, and leaving her to fend for herself would only get her in trouble.

  My father had the sort of contacts who’d be able to provide us both with fake IDs so we’d be able to get out of the country. That would be my ideal situation, but I had two problems. The first was that asking someone to provide IDs like that—good enough to be able to travel abroad with—cost a lot of money, which I didn’t have. The second was that their loyalty was with my father, not me. If I got in touch, would the contact just pick up the phone and call Silas Cassidy and tell him exactly when and where we’d arranged to meet? One thing I knew about this kind of man was that money talked. I could possibly buy his silence, but again, I didn’t have any money, so I was going around in one big circle.

  “How long are we going to be walking?” Catalina asked after a couple of hours.

  “I’m not sure. Until we come across the next town, or an opportunity arises for us to get our hands on another car.”

  “I miss that car,” she admitted.

  “So do I, but we can’t risk getting picked up by the cops.”

  I felt safer out here than I did when we were on the road or in a motel. The chances of anyone reporting seeing us or tracking us down was far less likely out here. This was hard going on us physically, but more so for Catalina, since she wasn’t exactly a practiced hiker.

  “We need more gear,” I decided. “Better shoes for you, a couple of sleeping bags, a small tent. Then we wouldn’t need to find a motel to stay in. The cost would be more initially, but it would last us longer.”

  She glanced up at me with a smile, her eyes bright. “So, we’d be camping?”

  “Yeah, I guess we would.”

  “I always wanted to go camping. I just never imagined it would be like this.”

  “Kitty, at no point did I ever imagine my future looking like this.” I’d said it as a joke, but her expression crumpled. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  She blinked hard and glanced away. I stopped walking and caught up her hand, pulling her in toward me.

  “I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.” I hated seeing her unhappy. It was as though I could feel her emotional pain as my own.

  “Do you regret what we did?” she said eventually. Tears shimmered in her eyes.

  I lowered my forehead to hers. “No. Never.”

  “But you’ll never be able to go home either. Both of us are homeless. Neither of us have families now. You’ve put yourself in a horrible position all because of me.” Her chin trembled, little dimples appearing in the otherwise smooth skin.

  “I don’t care about any of that. We have each other. That’s all that matters.”

  “You gave up everything for me.”

  “And I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Besides, none of that meant anything. You know what life was like with my father.”

  “But you didn’t have that life anymore,” she argued. “You had your own place and a big car. You were away from him.”

  I shook my head. “Not fully, I wasn’t. He still had that hold over me, and I hated myself every day for it. You see me as being a good man, Catalina, but I haven’t been. I haven’t been at all. I lived my life seeped in guilt and sickened by what I’d become. He’d forged me into a man just like him, and I didn’t do anything to try to change that.”

  “Yes, you did. You’re here with me now.”

  I leaned in and kissed her nose. “I just wish I’d acted sooner.”

  She stood on tiptoes to kiss me properly, and then we kept going.

  The undergrowth grew thicker, the track we’d been following, which I assumed had been created by some kind of animal, fading away. Perhaps whichever creature had used the route had died and so the forest was claiming the track back as its own.

  I went to take another step, only to find myself yanked back. It was as though someone had grabbed hold of my leg, holding me in place. I let out a yell of shock, and Catalina, who had gotten a couple of paces ahead, spun around.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I—” I was turning to look back as I spoke, and the moment I saw what had hold of me, the pain hit.

  White hot, blinding agony burst up through my ankle, punching me with the shock of it.

  I was barely aware of Catalina nearby, her cry of horror as she caught sight of the metal teeth of the animal trap piercing my jeans and into the flesh beneath. It must have been meant for something big—a bear, most likely, as a small trap would have only gotten my boot, and so would have protected my leg and foot underneath. The boot had saved some of my leg, but not all of it, and I was hideously aware of how many of those biting teeth were now clamped into my ankle and shin.

  My mind revolved, and the world grew faint at the edges. Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out.

  To keep myself in check, I did what I’d done most of my life and brought my fingers to my thigh and started to tap. My hand shook as though I was suffering from some kind of wasting disease, and I hissed the numbers out from between clenched teeth.

  “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...”

  “Oh, God,” Catalina dropped to a crouch beside me, her hands fluttering around the trap like a pair of giant, flesh-colored moths around an outside lamp. “What do I do? What do I do?” Panic heightened her tone.

  The shock and pain weren’t allowing me to think properly. How the hell did you open one of these things? I’d never been a hunter and had never handled one before.

  She took hold of both sides of the trap and tried to pull it open, her face straining under the effort. It slipped from her hands and jerked back against my foot, and a fresh avalanche of pain swept through me. The blood drained from my face, and the world grew faint around me again

  “Don’t touch it!” I managed to gasp.

  She jerked her hands away. “I’m sorry!”

  I was panting hard, trying to hold myself together. Maybe it would be better if I did just pass out and let Catalina get on with trying to free me, without her worrying about hurting me. But I didn’t even know if she was strong enough to open the trap on her own, and I didn’t want to pass out and leave her to deal with this fucking mess alone.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay. Let me think.”

  My entire body trembled with the pain, my legs barely holding me upright. Realizing
I wasn’t going to be walking away from this anytime soon, I carefully dropped my backside down onto the ground, nauseated as a fresh wave of agony twisted me in its grip at the movement. I put both hands over my face, silently screaming into my palms. I didn’t want Catalina to see how much pain I was in, knowing this was frightening her, but I couldn’t help it.

  “What do I do, Angel? I don’t know what to do.”

  “My mouth is dry. Can you get some water out of my bag?”

  She nodded and hurried to where I’d dropped my pack. She pulled it open and took out the bottle of water. Undoing the lid, she handed it to me, still frantic, but at least a little calmer now she had something to do. My hands were shaking too badly to hold the bottle, so she placed it to my lips and tipped water slowly into my mouth. I noted her hands were trembling, too.

  The trap was solid metal and insanely heavy. Even if I’d wanted to attempt to walk with it still attached, I didn’t think I’d be able to. I’d literally have needed to drag the thing along behind me. Besides, it also looked as though it had been chained to something, but the amount of foliage—tree roots, ground creeping ivy, and leaves—hid much of the structure, only the hideous metal clamps showing from the undergrowth.

  I glanced up at Catalina. Tears streamed down her pretty face.

  “Don’t cry, Kitty. Don’t cry.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not crying for myself. I hate seeing you in pain.”

  “I know. But it’ll be all right. We’ll work this out.”

  She sniffed and nodded, pulling herself together. She put the lid back on the water and carefully started pulling the ivy away from the trap, giving us a better view of what we were dealing with.

  “There must be some way of opening this thing,” she said. “What if it had caught a bear, and a hunter shot the bear? He’d need to get the trap back, right?”

  I nodded. “Right.” I certainly hoped a bear wasn’t about to come along any time soon. I’d be screwed.

  “So, there must be some way of opening it. A hunter wouldn’t want to have to wrestle the bear’s leg out of the trap before he could take his prize home.”

  She was right. I’d never wanted my phone so much in my life. Having Google at my fingertips at that point would have been extremely useful—if we could even get service all the way out here.

  “Look for a catch or a spring or something,” I told her.

  Catalina got to work, clearing away more of the foliage, checking around the base of the trap. I could barely bring myself to look. Blood soaked through the blue of my jeans, and the metal mouth looked like it had crunched halfway through my calf. I had the hideous idea that she’d open the jaws, and the bottom half of my leg would drop off. I was being overdramatic, but right now I wasn’t thinking clearly.

  “What about these springs?” she said. “Will they do something?”

  I studied the long springs she was pointing to. “Yeah, maybe. Can you push them together, like compress them?”

  She placed her palms either side of my foot and gritted her teeth. With a growl, she pushed the springs inward. They compressed a little, and I felt the teeth of the trap loosen a fraction.

  “That’s it! It’s working!”

  But she gave a wail of frustration and sat back on her haunches, panting. “It’s too stiff. I can’t get them to go in any farther.”

  “Try again. You’re doing great.”

  She did, getting back into position and squeezing the springs together again. She fell back again with a sob. “It’s not working. I’m not strong enough.”

  “Okay. Let’s think again.”

  We both sat, staring at the trap as though we’d suddenly find the instructions written across the metal.

  Catalina pursed her lips. “What about if we turn the trap on its side? Then I can use my body weight and the ground to compress the spring.”

  I wrinkled my nose. Turning it would also mean moving my leg, and I knew that was going to hurt.

  Stop being a fucking pussy, Angelo. My father’s voice in my head.

  “Okay. Let’s do it.”

  I gritted my teeth and took hold of the sides of the trap. With a roar, I lifted the heavy chunk of metal and flipped it onto its side, angling my body at the same time. Waves of pain swept over me, and I lowered my head, sucking in a lungful of air. I took a moment to let it fade before opening my eyes and refocusing.

  Catalina got into position, using both hands to drive down on the spring. I clenched my fists into the dirt, my blunt nails digging grooves in the ground. She gave that same growl and pushed.

  I didn’t dare believe it was working, but gradually the jaws of the trap loosened.

  “Keep going,” I encouraged her, my teeth gritted against the pain. I didn’t want her to see and stop. “You’re doing great.”

  When it felt like it was loose enough, I reached in and hooked my fingers across both sides of the jaw and pulled. There was a moment of resistance, but finally something gave, and the teeth pried open, releasing my limb.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Present Day

  ANGEL GAVE A SHOUT of relief as he dragged his leg out of the trap and fell backward on the ground.

  I released the pressure on the spring and joined him, collapsing onto the uneven forest floor, breathing hard and giving in to my shock. Angel had always seemed so invincible to me. I hadn’t even considered what I would do if something happened to him. I didn’t think I’d be able to go on. The world was a scary enough place as it was. How could I possibly navigate it without him by my side?

  His hand found mine, and I realized the shakes that had taken over my body were even worse than his.

  “It’s okay, Catalina. I’m free. It’s okay.”

  I sucked in a breath and nodded. “I know. I was just so frightened.”

  He squeezed my fingers. “Hey, do you know what?” His face was still pale. “I was pretty fucking scared, too, for a moment, but it’ll be all right now.”

  I smiled back at him. He was always trying to make me feel better, even when he was the one in pain.

  Getting to my knees, I took a closer look at his leg. The metal teeth had pierced the material of his jeans and gone into the skin beneath. He was bleeding, and it didn’t look like it was stopping any time soon.

  I grabbed his bag and fished out the first aid kit he’d used to patch up my feet. “This thing is coming in handy, huh?” I said.

  He gave me a tight smile. “Who’d have thought it.”

  I rolled up the leg of his jeans, exposing his shin and calf beneath. There were dents in his flesh where the trap had gotten him, and cuts and blood where they’d pierced the skin. His leg was a mass of red, black, and purple. I winced at the sight. It wasn’t pretty, and I bet it hurt like hell.

  I opened the first aid kit and found an antiseptic wipe. Carefully, I wiped down the areas that had gotten cut, and then I patched him up with some Band-Aids. They seemed woefully inefficient considering the state of his leg, but they were all we had.

  I looked up at him. His face was still white, making his eyes and the shadow of his beard appearing even darker. I hated seeing him like this.

  “Do you think you can walk?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I’m going to have to.”

  The teeth of the trap were rusted from being in the forest for so long, out in the elements. I didn’t know what sort of diseases it might carry, but he needed to get it looked at and get whatever injections he might need to stop it from getting infected.

  “You need a hospital.”

  He shook his head vehemently. “No, no hospital.”

  “Angelo, don’t be stupid. You’re bleeding. You’re in pain. The trap might have broken a bone, or you could end up with an infection. We can’t just ignore it.”

  “I’m not saying we ignore it. We’ll get to a pharmacy. I’ll clean the wound and bandage it up.”

  “Get to a pharmacy? How? We’re in the middle of nowhere. We don’t have a car, and you c
an barely walk. How the hell do you think we’re going to get you to a pharmacy?”

  “If we go to a hospital, they’re going to want details. They’ll want insurance numbers and names. We can’t risk it.”

  “That doesn’t matter right now. Hiding doesn’t matter. It won’t matter if your father and Torres turn up if you end up with blood poisoning and die.”

  “Yes, it will. Because if I’m dead, they won’t turn up, and then you’ll be free.”

  Fury surged up inside me and, without thinking, I reached out and shoved him in the chest. “Don’t you dare say that to me, Angelo Cassidy! Don’t you dare! Don’t show me a life outside of the compound, and the possibility of a future without Elliot Torres in it, and then turn around and say I’d be better off without you.”

  He held up his hands in defense, and I immediately regretted shoving him, especially when he was already hurt. “Catalina. It’s okay. I’m not going to die. It’s just badly bruised. I’ll be okay.”

  I was crying again, but I was angry with myself for the tears. I discovered I was angry at everything. I was angry at the bear trap for putting us in this position, with the hunters for putting it there, with Angelo’s father for selling me to another man, and Torres for being the one to buy me. The rage surprised me. I had always accepted things so readily before, not rallying against them, and just going along with what everyone’s plans were for me. I’d never given any thought to the possibility that things could be different.