Food for Love

by C. Fonseca

Usha’s eyes widened just as her phone sounded an alarm, and she grimaced.

  “Does that mean you have to go?” Jess asked, disappointed. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Usha, even after all these years.

  “I’m afraid so. I can’t keep my patients waiting,” she said. “I thought you would be more comfortable to meet here at the café first. But before you return to England, you must come to my home, and I can cook for you.” She smiled again.

  “Only if we can cook together, like we used to…”

  “Yes, like we used to. Anyway, we will meet again so you can tell me about your life and sporting achievements—and, when you are ready, about that terrible accident.” Usha shook her head as if to shake off the thought.

  She raised her eyebrows. After their mother died, Usha had moved into the house with Ben and Jess. She’d cooked all their favourite foods, trying to encourage them to eat. She’d held Jess when her nightmares woke her. She’d done everything for them until Jess was taken away.

  Jess sighed heavily. Usha had followed her career and knew about the accident. “I was so selfish. I failed to respond to any of the birthday cards you sent when I was at boarding school.”

  “Jessica, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Usha said. “You were just a child. None of this was your fault.”

  She was glad Usha was so forgiving and that she had the chance to have her in her life again—and correct some of her mistakes.

  Usha stood and gestured to Jess’s empty plate. “I told you: Maddie’s cinnamon scrolls are irresistible.”

  She’d eaten the entire sweet roll filled with raisins and nuts. Jess pushed away the empty plate, got up, and reached for her satchel. “Let me take care of this,” she said.

  Usha pulled Jess into a hug. “It is already taken care of.” She loosened her hold and stepped back, gazing into her eyes wistfully. “Now, promise you will visit me before you leave.”

  “I promise,” she said, and meant it.

  “Good. That is very good.”

  As she watched her walk away, Jess noticed Usha favoured her right leg. What could have caused the slight limp? Arthritis, perhaps. Or an injury. Jess frowned; there was a lot she didn’t know about Usha’s life.

  As Jess parked the Jeep into the McAllisters’ garage, she drummed her fingers absently on the steering wheel—tapping out a beat to a song playing on the radio. Ben’s four-wheel drive was a lot roomier than the Mini. She was pleased with the result of her shopping trip to Simon Emmett’s CycleMania in Geelong, and turned around to admire the item she’d carefully stowed away in the back. Simon’s sister, Haley—and that was a surprise—had rushed to serve her.

  She jumped out of the driver’s seat. If her smile was any wider, she’d resemble a clown. Thank you, Haley.

  “Hi.” Lili walked into the garage. “You’re back.”

  “Yes, hello,” she said, standing beside the rear door. “I met Usha at a coffee shop in Drysdale.”

  “Fantastic, I bet she was pleased to see you.”

  “She’s shorter than I remember.” Jess grinned. “It was wonderful to catch up with her after such a long time.” She opened the rear door and hoisted the small alloy-framed bicycle—gloss-white and lavender—out of the car and set it on the concrete floor.

  Lili circled around Jess and stopped in front of the child’s bicycle. “What is this?”

  “It’s for Aruishi.”

  “You can’t go buying her expensive gifts.” There was an undercurrent of annoyance in Lili’s voice.

  This was not how Jess had imagined Lili reacting to the gift. Not at all.

  “She mentioned she’d never had a bicycle of her own.” Surely, Lili wouldn’t object to Jess giving it to Aruishi?

  “She’s four years old.”

  “Yes, I know. It’s from CycleMania. Haley was very helpful.”

  “You went to Simon’s shop? In Geelong?” Lili’s steely blue eyes seemed to pierce through Jess.

  “Yes, Haley helped me choose the safest Australian-made bicycle for a four-year-old. I didn’t know it was her brother’s shop. It was a pleasant surprise to see her there,” Jess said.

  “I bet it was.” Lili walked around the bicycle. “Haley only works at Ailie part-time,” she said. “It’s beautiful. But you shouldn’t have.”

  “I thought I could teach her to…ride.”

  “Did you even think to ask me? Dad and I are restoring an old bike for Ru. As a Christmas present.”

  That rusty old thing Jess had noticed in the corner of the garage, covered with cobwebs, wouldn’t be safe for Aruishi. “Oh hell. I’m sorry.”

  “No. You obviously didn’t think to ask.” She shook her head.

  Jess reached into her jacket pocket for the executor’s letter. Hopefully, this would improve Lili’s mood. She handed it to Lili.

  “What’s this?” she asked, taking the envelope from Jess’s hand. “Really, Jess, you should have talked to me first about the bike before spending your money.”

  “You’d better open the letter.”

  Lili ripped open the envelope and pulled out the document.

  Jess slowly pushed the bicycle around in circles, waiting for Lili’s reaction.

  “What have you done?”

  “What have I done?” Jess asked, knowing exactly what she’d done.

  Lili waved the paper in front of Jess’s face. “I don’t understand. You’re Ben’s sole beneficiary. You are entitled to all the money.”

  Why was Lili making it so complicated? It was really very simple. “I can explain,” she said.

  “This says the loan’s been written off—fully repaid.” Her eyebrows furrowed. Lili blinked, and then blinked again. “It was you.”

  Jess shrugged.

  “Why did you do it?” Lili asked suspiciously. “Throwing your money around like a game of Monopoly.”

  Jess backed up a couple of steps and leaned against the car. “It is what Ben would have wanted,” she said. “I’ve heard that he meant to—”

  “How could you know that? You couldn’t know that.”

  “Does it really matter?” Jess looked down at the child’s bicycle. She ran her hand over the small lavender-coloured handlebars. “I just know.”

  “I can’t let you,” Lili said.

  Although Lili’s voice was now soft and controlled, Jess heard uncertainty for the first time. She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Yes, you can. Ben was your friend. He must have cared for you very much if he agreed to be the donor. My brother was Aruishi’s biological father.” She lowered her tone. “He cared about both of you.” She sighed. “It’s what he would have wanted.” Like it or not, I am Aruishi’s aunt.

  Jess placed the new bicycle into the storage locker, next to her own bicycle, and fastened the latch. “I’ll leave it up to you. You decide whether Aruishi can have the bicycle or not,” she said. “And if you decide she can’t, I’ll take it back. No problem.” Her voice quivered. “But as far as the loan is concerned, that’s not negotiable. It’s written off.”

  Lili stared at her with her mouth half-open.

  Jess grabbed her jacket from the front seat of the Jeep and headed towards the house. But then she stopped and turned back. “Oh, just so you know. I’m going to Melbourne with some friends tonight and I probably won’t be back until late.”

  What would have been the right thing to do—according to Lili? Jess turned on her heel and took off again. “I did it for you and Aruishi,” she muttered through clenched teeth. She’d made things worse. Jess couldn’t understand why Lili was so unhappy with her.

  Lili stood rooted to the spot like a fool and took a few deep breaths. What just happened? What just happened was that she’d lost her cool. Jess had bought Ru a bike costing a few hundred bucks and written of Lili’s debt of over a hundred and fifty thousand do
llars—and she hadn’t even thanked her. Everything had happened so fast.

  Damn. She was already running late, and going back to the house to get her car keys would mean she couldn’t avoid Jess. Even looking at her right now would be too intimidating.

  You’re such a coward. She’d walk to Ailie, even though it meant making Alex wait.

  When she arrived, Alex looked up from the computer screen. “Lili, I’m glad you’re here. You wanted to know when Mac came in with the order of sea scallops. It has arrived.”

  “Good.” Lili sighed with relief. “I’m glad to be here.”

  “Prep for tonight’s menu is on track,” Alex said.

  “That’s great,” she said absently.

  “Tim and Sara are both rostered to cover the extra tables on the terrace. We’re in good shape.” Alex peered at her with concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

  Lili leaned against the wall, letting her bag fall to the floor. What could she say? She should have gone after Jess and thanked her. “I’m such an idiot.” She buried her face in her hands and rubbed her temples.

  “Now I’m worried,” Alex said. “What did you do?”

  Lili’s gut twisted with guilt as she recounted the exchange from half an hour ago, hardly pausing to take a breath in the telling.

  “Stone the crows,” Alex said.

  “Yeah, well…”

  “You must be ecstatic the debt is wiped. I would have thrown my arms around her and kissed her profusely.”

  Lili shook her head. “You would.”

  “I’m sure Jess is right. Ben would have done this for you and Ru,” Alex said. “Absolutely. But you do realise that Jess didn’t have to do it.”

  “I know.” Was it insecurity or pride that had caused her to act like that with Jess? She regretted her disgraceful reaction. “I don’t know what got into me. I’ll talk to her later and apologise.” She rubbed the back of her neck.

  Alex began to speak, then hesitated. “You’ll have to wait, anyway. Haley was just here,” she said.

  “Oh? She’s not working today, is she?”

  Alex shook her head.

  “Then what was she doing here?” Lili couldn’t remember making an appointment with Haley.

  “She came to drop off some gear on her way to your place to pick up Jess. But I guess you know that, right?” Alex raised her eyebrows. “Haley and her cycling buddies are taking Jess dancing at Mother’s Attik in Prahran.”

  Lili’s mouth fell open, but she quickly swallowed the sarcastic remark that threatened to spill off her tongue. It wasn’t her concern if Jess wanted to go with Haley to the lesbian dance venue in Melbourne, was it? Then why did the thought of Jess partying with her sultry employee upset Lili so much? “Well, I hope they have a wonderful time.” She shrugged.

  “Hey, this is new.” Alex narrowed her eyes. “Are you jealous?”

  “No,” Lili snapped.

  Alex grinned. “Not that I blame you. You have this stunning single woman under your roof. And need I remind you—you’re a beautiful, awesome single woman too.”

  As though Jess’s beauty should matter. But it did seem to matter.

  Not that she would let Alex see that. “Don’t be ridiculous. Let’s get to work.”

  She gave Alex a gentle push through the office door. “And stop smirking.”

  Haley and her friends were genuine biking enthusiasts, not like some of the obsessive and overexcited fangirls who had followed Jess around everywhere during the height of her career. Only halfway to Melbourne and they’d already asked a million questions on every conceivable topic.

  “Hey, Jess. What do you do about saddle soreness? You know, so you don’t wear out your…parts.”

  “Oh, Tori, haven’t you got padded bike shorts?” Haley asked from the driver’s seat.

  “Sure, I just want to know if Jess has any secrets she wants to share with us,” Tori said.

  “Secrets. Yeah, tell us some of your secrets,” another voice called from the back seat. Jess missed who.

  Haley turned to Jess. “I’m really sorry about those three back there.”

  “Padded shorts are a must, but you need the right saddle fit. Some riders need more padding for their rear,” Jess said over her shoulder.

  “You wouldn’t want a numb bum, would you, Haley?” Tori giggled.

  Haley sent Jess a sideways glance and sighed heavily.

  The venue was something else. It was crammed with women. The music was insanely loud, and Jess got a rush of energy as soon as they hit the dance floor. She appreciated the sea of diverse faces and the anonymity of being in an unfamiliar city. Apart from a few snippets of shouted conversation, she did very little talking with her stream of dance partners, and that suited her fine. A few months ago, she would have let her hair down and partied harder—but not anymore.

  She wasn’t a big drinker, but the girls persuaded her to spin the cocktail-flavour wheel, and she obligingly drank one lethal mixture of Absolut vodka with cranberry, orange, and peach schnapps. That was enough for her. Jess left the game of chance to Haley and her friends, and for the rest of the night stuck with crisp, refreshing Coronas with a wedge of lemon. The beers and a lot of sparkling water were enough to keep her lightly buzzed.

  “I love this song. How about it, Jess? It’s my turn.” Haley gazed up at her with baby-blue eyes. She tugged at Jess’s hand and pulled her towards the dance floor.

  Why not? She appreciated Haley’s attention and enjoyed the young woman’s energetic gyrations.

  How would Lili dance? she wondered. Would she ever have time to go clubbing? What would it take for her to let loose, have some fun? There was something freeing about moving in a crowd of people you didn’t know, amongst hot, writhing, sexy bodies. What would Lili be like in one of these places—exasperating, strong-willed, intense Lili? She was angry at Jess, and all Jess had tried to do was make life easier for her and Aruishi. Lili is so obstinate.

  Haley’s arms wound around Jess’s waist, pulling her close. She seemed out for a good time; she was uncomplicated, and Jess could handle that right now. With a slick dance move, Haley sent Jess into a spin, then grabbed her determinedly around the waist and locked her lips with Jess’s.

  After a few moments, Jess ended the kiss and removed herself from Haley’s grasp. “Cheeky,” she said with a laugh.

  In the early hours of the morning, four of them piled back into the car. Tori remained behind, having hooked up with a woman from the club. They stopped to pick up a drive-through breakfast on the outskirts of the city. Haley and her friends feasted on bacon-and-egg burgers and French fries in the car, while Jess chose the largest takeaway coffee she could buy. It was black and strong, and tasted like it had been brewing for half a day. She looked over her shoulder. “Looks like Bec and Claire have crashed,” she told Haley. “I now have the solemn task of keeping you alert.”

  Haley laughed. “I’m wide awake and stone-cold sober,” she said. “It was a full-time job keeping you safe from all those women.”

  “Terrific job.” She prodded Haley’s thigh. “Much appreciated.”

  In Geelong, they coaxed the dozing pair out of the car and into their flat, arriving at the farm around five a.m.

  Jess reached into the back seat for her jacket and then turned back to Haley. “Thanks, that was—”

  Before she could catch a breath, Haley snaked her arm around Jess’s neck and pressed their lips together. Jess didn’t have a moment to react before Haley slipped her tongue into her mouth.

  Jess placed her hand lightly on Haley’s shoulder. “That was unexpected,” she said. In truth, it was not at all unexpected. Haley had stuck close by Jess all evening and kissed her, playfully, more than once. She was clearly interested in more than dancing.

  Perhaps Jess shouldn’t keep resisting when pretty, interested women presented them
selves to her? She drew Haley closer. “I like it,” she whispered in her ear before her lips found Haley’s once again, and their mouths found an easy rhythm.

  A harsh light illuminated the car’s interior, and they sprung immediately apart. Jess squinted into the darkness. “Lili?”

  “I don’t see anyone,” Haley said. “It must be a sensor light.” She attempted to pull Jess back. “Hey,” she said dreamily.

  Jess extracted herself from Haley’s grip and edged closer to the door. “I think someone turned a light on.” She hoped Lili hadn’t seen them. Not that it should matter. But somehow it did.

  “You’re so sexy, Jess.” Haley let out a deep sigh.

  Jess forced a smile. “Thank you for tonight.”

  “Yeah, it was a good one. And it doesn’t have to end.”

  “Haley.” Jess reached for her hands. “I really enjoyed myself, but I need to call it a night. You are a great dancer, and your friends Tori, Bec, and Claire are a hoot.”

  “They’re the best. I had a great time too.” Haley gave her a small smile. “Another time?”

  “Yes,” she said. But she knew she didn’t sound entirely convincing. “Another time.” She waited until Haley met her gaze. “I’m dealing with a multitude of changes in my life right now.”

  Haley gripped Jess’s forearm. “I’m sorry, Jess. I wasn’t thinking. With losing Ben, and everything else.”

  “Thank you. No need to apologise,” Jess said, stifling a yawn. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Are you sure you’ll be okay to drive home?”

  Haley gave her a cheeky grin. “I could say no. Then what would you do?”

  Jess raised an eyebrow.

  “Just kidding. I’m fine. Which is a good thing, really.” Haley looked down at her watch. “In five hours, I have to meet up with my brother for a sixty-kilometre loop around the Peninsula.”

  Jess had the door open and was half way out of the car. “Lucky you.”

  “Hey, Jess?” Haley called.

  “Yes?”

  “Maybe, you’d like to come riding sometime?” Haley hesitated. “With our bike group. It would mean a lot to have you along.”