Food for Love

by C. Fonseca

  Jess tilted her head, and her expressive eyes filled with emotion. “Then why did you kiss me? Again?”

  Lili focused on the fullness of Jess’s mouth and let out a low whistle. “I couldn’t help myself. I just couldn’t help myself,” she repeated.

  The door flew open, and Josh barrelled in. “Hey, Lili,” he said, and nodded in Jess’s direction before disappearing into the kitchen.

  “Hi, Josh. Don’t run,” Lili called out, watching the doors continue to swing backward and forward, forward and back. She turned to Jess. “Come outside and talk to me.”

  Jess’s dark eyes were wary. “Okay.”

  Lili exhaled and realised she’d been holding her breath. “Let’s find a spot in the garden where we won’t be disturbed.”

  With Jess close behind, she led the way into a sheltered corner at the back of the courtyard. It was a peaceful nook filled with plants she’d struck from her grandmother’s rose garden. Lili sat in one of a pair of old wooden chairs. She motioned for Jess to take the other.

  She wasn’t sure how to begin. Her feisty grandmother, if she were still around, would have advised Lili to trust her instincts. She picked at a loose thread at the end of her sleeve.

  “I feel the same. I couldn’t help but kiss you back,” Jess said.

  “You couldn’t?” Lili looked up.

  “I’m finding it increasingly difficult to be around you,” she said, placing her hands under her thighs, as though to keep them steady. “I know there are a lot of reasons it’s a bad idea for us. But I like you, Lili.” Jess moved to the edge of the chair and took her hand. “What if? I’ve been asking myself, what if?” She caressed Lili’s clenched fist with her thumb until Lili relaxed and allowed Jess to thread her fingers with hers. “Why didn’t you come to my room last night?”

  Lili’s gaze scanned upwards and settled on Jess’s face. “It was late.” She reached forward and gently tugged Jess’s braid, then traced a finger down the straight line of her nose, across her cheek, along the defined curve of her jaw, to the corner of her mouth. “Your door was closed. I was a coward. You have me so distracted… You have the most beautiful lips. I like you too.”

  Jess’s mouth curved into a slight smile, and her warm breath tickled Lili’s hand. Her eyes reflected Lili’s desire, with a hint of shyness and an inkling of playfulness.

  “I’m almost scared to touch you,” Lili said.

  “Shush,” Jess murmured. “I’m not, and I want your touch.” She leaned closer and lightly pressed her lips to Lili’s, then pulled away. Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “See? Nothing bad happened.” She held Lili’s face in her hands. “In fact, I’m going to kiss your beautiful mouth again.”

  Lili tilted her head to meet Jess’s lips, and the soft, sensual kiss awakened tenderness and longing. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

  “Where do we go from here?” Jess whispered.

  Opening her eyes, Lili said, “You’re doing it again.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Putting my thoughts into words.” Lili shifted back in her chair and motioned with her hand for Jess to do the same. “A little physical distance is good. We need some separation to talk.”

  “But…” Jess protested with a slight pout.

  Lili held out her hand. “No. You stay right there. I can’t think straight if you’re close.”

  “Okay, but I don’t see any advantage in thinking straight at all.” Jess raised her entire body out of her chair, using her hands, and eased herself back down to sit ramrod-straight.

  “Yeah, well.” Lili laughed at the confidence Jess conveyed.

  Jess leaned back and crossed her legs. “Okay, I’m ready to talk.”

  “At least we’ve agreed on one important fact.” Lili glanced up as a noisy flock of cockatoos flew by.

  “Yes.” Jess grinned and stared directly at her. “You like me, and I like you.”

  “We need some rules.”

  “Yes, Chef.”

  Lili raised her eyebrows. “Seriously, Jess. We do need to agree on a few things.”

  Holding up both hands in a classic gesture of compliance, Jess said, “I’m sorry, Lili. Please, go ahead.”

  Lili rotated her shoulders. “You are really good with Ru.”

  “Aruishi is totally adorable, the little minx.” Jess chuckled.

  “Yes, and sensitive and intuitive. I’d rather she didn’t know. She’s fixated on you already. If she thought there was something going on with us”—Lili gestured between them—“she’d get her hopes up.” She wouldn’t want Jess to leave. “We need to keep things platonic in front of her.”

  “Platonic? Oh, you mean just friendly.” Jess nodded. “I don’t want to hurt Aruishi. I’ll be careful.”

  It was a relief that Jess seemed to agree that Aruishi’s sense of security was paramount. “We’ll both be careful. I’d rather Mum and Dad didn’t know either.”

  “Okay.” Jess drummed her fingers on the armrest of her chair.

  “Just okay?” Lili asked. “It is different for us, because it’s not like we just met. You’re already part of our lives. I am being overly cautious. And if I were you, I’d put us in the ‘too hard’ basket.”

  “It won’t be a problem.” Jess reached for Lili’s hand. “You’re protecting your family. I can understand that.”

  Lili relaxed her shoulders. She needed to lighten up a little and not scare Jess away. “Thank you,” she said.

  Jess kissed Lili’s hand, carefully placed it back onto Lili’s thigh, and patted it lightly with her fingers. “We can take it slow… There’s a lot I’d like to learn about you.”

  Lili looked around. “I am kind of an open book, don’t you think?” The movement of Jess’s hand on Lili’s thigh increased. She grabbed it and held it tightly. “Whereas I know very little about your life.” She cleared her throat. “You were vague when I asked if anyone was waiting for you at home.”

  “No one waiting.” Jess shook her head.

  “Seriously, it’s hard to believe you’re not with anyone.”

  “Why?” she asked defensively. “If you read the British tabloids and believe what they say—just like dear old dad—I play the field and I’ve never been serious about anyone.”

  “Jess, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “They are partially correct,” Jess interjected. “When I was first on the circuit, it was easy to fall into the casual hook-up culture, but I soon got tired of it. I do date, but there is nobody of consequence.” She flashed Lili a challenging look. “How about you? Do you date much?”

  Lili shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Err…I’ve been busy with Ru and the restaurant.”

  “When was the last time you went out with someone?”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Ten months. With one of Tash’s friends.”

  Jess stared at her in amazement. “Ten months? That’s a long time.”

  “Don’t look at me like that. I told you, I’ve been busy.” Lili shrugged. “Anyway, it was a disaster, so I wasn’t in any hurry to try again.”

  This time Jess laughed, a soft throaty laugh, and her whole face lit up. “What was wrong with her? I mean you’re so…” Jess raised her chin.

  “Boring and tied down with responsibilities,” Lili said.

  “I wasn’t going to say that.”

  Lili shook her head. “No. That’s what the date thought.”

  “Well then, good riddance to her.” Jess grinned, and Lili couldn’t help but join her.

  Jess waved her hand erratically as a bee zipped around her face and circled her head. She leapt to her feet, and jumped up and down, but the bee wouldn’t budge. “Damn it, I’m allergic to bee stings.”

  Lili leaped up, took Jess’s hands and held them to her sides. “Trust me,” she said. “If you swat at a bee, t
hey’re honour-bound to sting. Hold still.”

  The little creature landed on the cap sleeve of Jess’s T-shirt. “Now what?”

  “Hold still,” Lili repeated. She leaned in close and blew hard at the bee. It fell onto the ground, and then flew off into the rose garden. Lili brushed Jess’s shoulders. “See? No damage.”

  “Only to my self-image,” Jess said. She glanced around and inched closer to Lili.

  Lili tapped her lightly on the nose, slipped her hands around Jess’s waist, and pulled her into her arms. She rested her head upon Jess’s shoulder. “I have to get back to work now.” She sighed. “Otherwise someone will come looking for me.”

  “Can I kiss you first?” Jess asked, her voice low and playful against Lili’s ear.

  “Please.”

  This time, their kiss spoke of promise and left Lili’s heart hammering in her chest. She watched Jess wind her way through the rose bushes with a spring in her step. At the courtyard gate, she turned to Lili and blew her a kiss.

  Chapter 20

  Usha dished another spoon of curry onto Jess’s plate. “Eat up. Think how much you will miss my cooking when you return.” She winked at Jess. “I know, I know. London is full of good Indian restaurants. Those British-Indian chefs think they can reproduce the best quality and authentic spiciness, but nothing beats home cooking.”

  Jess nodded and scooped up palak paneer with a piece of freshly made roti and popped it in her mouth. She took a sip of water to wash down the spicy spinach and cheese “It’s hot. Definitely better than anything I’ve eaten in London.”

  “You flatter me, Jess.” Usha’s grin widened. “I’m glad you like it.”

  “I only speak the truth.”

  “You are also very sweet.” Usha helped herself to a piece of roti and offered more to Jess.

  “Enough, please. I’ve eaten much more than usual.” Jess shook her head and pushed her empty plate away.

  “Good. I am happy.” Usha sipped her chardonnay. “Thank you for bringing this very palatable wine.”

  “It was Lili’s recommendation.”

  “Ah, the lovely Lili. You can tell her I enjoyed it.”

  “I will,” Jess said. “She hoped it would go with whatever you were cooking.”

  “Very nicely. I am a creature of habit and still prepare the dishes I enjoyed in my childhood. The clinic is busy, so unfortunately it is not often I make a proper meal for myself.” Usha shrugged. “Now, tell me, how is it with Lili?”

  Jess nearly choked on her wine and dabbed a napkin to her mouth.

  Usha looked alarmed. “Are you okay, Jess?”

  She coughed. “Yes, I am. The wine went down the wrong way. Things are very satisfactory. I have a spacious comfortable room, a beautiful bathroom with a huge bath, and panoramic views of the farm and ocean. I couldn’t ask for more.”

  “That’s good. What about Ben’s friend, who is renting the beach house? If you decide to stay on for longer, can you move into the house?” Her forehead creased. “I imagine you cannot remain indefinitely at Lili’s home.”

  “Nathan has a month before he and his girlfriend travel to South America. I don’t want to upset their plans. I won’t make any decision about the house until they leave.”

  “That seems fair. Is Lili comfortable with your living arrangements?” Usha eyed Jess with an inscrutable expression. “Two beautiful, single women under one roof. That must be difficult for you both?”

  Jess rubbed at her forehead. “I enjoy Lili’s company,” she said. “And, of course, Aruishi. And Scott and Helen. They have all been very good to me.”

  “That is not what I meant, Jessica.” Usha smiled and turned towards the window. “The weather here is getting warmer. Late spring, early summer is the best time on the Peninsula. But you must be missing the cold in England. I only spent two weeks at a conference in Oxford, but it was enough. Don’t get me wrong: I loved being at the university, but it was dark so early, and grey every day. The wind ruined three umbrellas while I was there—turned them inside out.”

  Jess laughed, relieved Usha had veered away from the subject of Lili. “I love spring and summer in England. The parks and bike trails near my flat are lovely in the warmer seasons. Everything is so green and fresh. But I don’t miss the English winters. My cycling team travels to milder climates in the cooler months to train, in the south of France, Spain, or Italy.”

  “You are lucky. I too have been fortunate to travel in southern Europe on more than one occasion. I can imagine you cycling past those castles and along those windy roads like in the Tour de France. How wonderful,” Usha said. “It hasn’t been very long since the crash. How is your recovery and rehabilitation progressing?”

  Jess automatically pressed between her sternum and clavicle. “Good.” She straightened in her chair. “The last set of tests showed no long-term effects from the concussion. I had a clean nondisplaced fracture of the clavicle. They don’t usually operate, but without surgery, I would have been in a sling and immobilised for six weeks until it had healed.”

  “So you had surgery?”

  Jess nodded. “My surgeon used titanium nails to put the clavicle together. Surgery was considered an aggressive choice, but it meant I could start rehabilitation on a stationary bicycle two weeks after my knee surgery.”

  “They really got you back on the bike quickly. You’ve made a remarkable recovery. In some areas, sports medicine has pushed general medicine to consider the way we treat musculoskeletal injury and pain management. Your physiotherapy degree must be an advantage in your own rehabilitation.”

  “Knowing the process was helpful, but I had to put my trust in others. The team’s practitioners supervised an intense programme, and I’m now cycling more than three hundred kilometres a week”.

  “Oh my gosh. I don’t know how you do it.” Usha stacked the empty dishes into a neat pile. “But, it is in your blood.” She stood and Jess helped her carry the dishes and leftovers into the compact kitchen. “Go and sit down and relax. I will clean up and join you.”

  “I’d like to help; after all, you did the cooking,” Jess said, placing the dishes on the benchtop.

  “I don’t need help. I have a dishwasher. It will only take me five minutes to put away the food and stack the dishes in the machine.” She gently pushed Jess out of the kitchen towards the living room.

  Usha’s house was cosy and modestly sized, with a postage-stamp garden, but inside, it was spacious and filled with light. An earthy hint of sandalwood and patchouli, mixed with the lingering zest of spices, tickled Jess’s nose. She wandered around the living room that was decorated with richly dyed textiles and furniture. Brass floor lamps, a boldly coloured rug, patterned throws, and embroidered mirror cushions that reflected Usha’s heritage blended surprisingly well in the Edwardian-era timber cottage.

  The overflowing bookcase was dotted with framed photographs. Jess picked up a wooden surround holding the same picture of Usha and her mother in front of a huge ocean liner that she’d found at Ben’s shack. She ran her finger over a photograph of herself, standing between her mother and Ben, taken at a Wylie Primary sports day. Jess held a gold ribbon and grinned like a Cheshire cat. Even at ten, she was already the same height as her mother. Ben, with his dark fringe across one eye, towered over them both.

  Just as she replaced the frame onto the bookcase, her phone buzzed with an incoming text. She dashed across the room and plucked it out of her messenger bag.

  Chopin by Candlelight, Melbourne Arts Centre. Sunday evening. Early dinner? A glass of sparkling?

  With a huge grin, Jess typed her reply, her fingers flying over the screen.

  Yes, to all the above. Yes. x

  She stared at the screen before tucking the phone back into her bag and taking a seat on the red sofa. Usha entered the room, balancing a tray of sliced fruit, a bowl of pale-orange cubes
, a teapot, and two tea glasses.

  “Help yourself to some mango and watermelon. And try this pumpkin and semolina halwa.” Usha picked up a piece and popped it into her mouth. She poured the tea. “Cardamom. Very good for digestion.”

  “Thank you. I don’t think I could eat another thing. But I will take some tea,” Jess said, accepting the glass.

  Usha settled into her armchair. “The halwa is made by one of my patients, Mrs Trivedi. Bless her.” Usha pushed the plate along the wooden inlaid table towards her. “Go on, just one piece. At least we have a good Indian supermarket in Geelong now. We can get everything we need to make such delicacies without taking a trip to Melbourne.”

  Jess helped herself to the smallest piece and took a tentative bite. “Hmm…I do like the texture and the coconut.”

  “It’s very tempting. Keep it away from me.” Usha chuckled. “I am glad to see a smile on your face. I was worried all the talk about the accident would be distressing. You must miss everything, everybody?”

  Jess finished chewing the halwa and sipped her hot tea. “No, I’m fine, Usha. I’ve had to accept that I won’t be able to race for some time, but meanwhile I am enjoying cycling to build strength without the pressure of competition or the press.” She gave Usha a warm smile. “Coming back here, has allowed me to reconnect with you. And I’ve made new friends.”

  “Ah…yes. This is good. Lili and her sweet daughter bring a smile to your face.” Usha cleared her throat. “Call me a meddling aunt, but I saw the way Lili kept her eyes on you at the fundraiser.”

  “Lili is a very good-natured human being. Generous and kind.” Jess looked down at her lap. “She’s—”

  “Yes, I know. Generous and kind,” Usha repeated.