Love Ignited

by Jacie Lennon

  Tears spring to my eyes as I sense the emotions rolling off of him.

  I reach across the table and lay my hand palm up, prompting him to take it and he does. The contact is steadying and unhinging, all at the same time.

  “Anyway, sorry to just let all that out.”

  “Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for talking about what’s on your mind.” My voice is hard, as I want to get across that he can always talk to me if he needs to. “It’s going to be okay. Your grams is strong, and you are too.”

  He gives a curt nod and releases my hand, picking up his fork to take a bite of salad. “Tell me about your childhood,” he says around a mouthful of lettuce.

  “There’s not much to tell. I had a normal childhood. Nothing that can compare to yours.” I shrug, and he pins me with a look.

  “This isn’t a competition, Jules. I want to know about your life. Now, any pets?”

  We pass the rest of the dinner in easy conversation, learning more about each other and falling more in like with each other. In a way, we’re on a first date, and I think we could both sense the nerves lingering in the air, sending a spark through each of us. The romantic feel of the stars brings the whole date full circle. I can feel myself falling, and the thought elates and terrifies me.

  28

  Mason

  I move in with Jules and we choose to stay at her place because she has a ton of shit we would have to move. It was easier for me to pack a few belongings and crash with her. Jules’s birthday is a few weeks away, and I find myself at the outdoor mall, wandering up and down the sidewalk, glancing at stores but not entering. Nothing looks right, and I feel frustrated. Jules’s parents are coming to visit, and she wants everything to be perfect, so she kicked me out of the apartment and told me not to come back until she let me know she was ready. I know she’s stressed out about telling her parents about the baby, but this is a little extreme. I tried to convince her to wait until right before her parents go home, but she wants it off her chest.

  A little store catches my eye. Small little pictures of constellations are hanging in the window, and it instantly transports me back to our date. I step inside the store, and a saleslady is next to me, asking if I need any help.

  “I want to look at the pictures of constellations,” I say.

  She gives me a bright smile, leading me toward a shelf that’s covered with everything about stars. I’ve never been inside this store before. I glance around, noting that its mostly hippie types milling about, and I feel totally out of my element.

  “Is there anything in particular you are looking for?” the saleslady asks, making me jump.

  I didn’t realize she was still standing there.

  “A birthday gift.”

  “For a special someone?” the saleslady asks, dancing her fingers across the shelves until she finds what she’s after. “This constellation is a story of love.”

  “Oh, I’m not sure I need something about love right now,” I say, backtracking a little.

  “You don’t love this person?” The saleslady looks at me, cocking her head.

  I feel put on the spot, and I motion toward what she’s holding. “What is it?”

  “The story of Perseus and Andromeda,” she says with a smile. “It’s so romantic, minus all the killing. Perseus finds Andromeda chained to a rock. She was left there by her parents after an oracle advised them to sacrifice her to save their kingdom. That’s sad actually.” She pauses with a frown. “Anyway, Perseus kills the sea monster, Cetus, who is coming to destroy their kingdom, and then asks for Andromeda’s hand in marriage. Honestly, I don’t know why. Her parents left her for dead. The girl shouldn’t need permission to marry him.” She stops with a smile. “So romantic, isn’t it?”

  “If that’s what you want to call it,” I say, my mind whirling with the story. “I’ll take it.”

  “Perfect.” She beams and carries the picture of the constellation to the register. “You know what I would do if I were you?”

  No.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I would dedicate a star to her … or him?” She cocks her head to the side.

  “It’s a her, and what do you mean, dedicate a star?”

  “Oh, there’s a star registry where you can purchase a star and name it after your love.”

  I nod, and for the first time since this woman started talking, I smile.

  “That’s a perfect idea,” I say.

  She smiles back at me. “All set. There’s your picture, and please do come back.” She hands the bag to me.

  I nod, walking out of the store with plans to purchase a star for my girlfriend.

  Girlfriend. That’s a word I never thought I would use.

  My phone dings with an incoming text, and I pull it out of my pocket.

  Jules: Coast is clear. You can return.

  Mason: On my way.

  I check my time and see that Jules’s parents are supposed to arrive in two hours, and I feel a knot in my gut. I want to meet her parents, but I also don’t know how they will react to the news that I knocked their daughter up.

  Walking through the door, I look around at the apartment that Jules has spent all morning cleaning. She bustles out from the bedroom and gives me a panicked look.

  “Take your shoes off,” she demands and points to my feet.

  I quickly toe both shoes off and set them beside the door before walking toward her. Wrapping my arms around her, I lightly stroke her hair and dip my head until my mouth is right by her ear.

  “It’s going to be okay. Your parents won’t disown you or anything,” I whisper.

  She gives a halfhearted chuckle against my chest that sends a vibration right down inside my pants.

  Down, boy.

  “I know,” she says, pulling her head back to look at me. “I just don’t want to see the disappointment on their faces.”

  “You can’t control how they feel, so don’t worry about it right now. Stress isn’t good for the baby.”

  “Mason Porter, have you been doing research?”

  “No. Yes. Maybe.” I give her a sheepish grin and step back.

  “That’s sweet,” she says, squeezing my arm and making me look at her.

  I have an odd sensation in my chest. I feel warm and comfortable with Jules right now. Something I don’t think I’ve ever felt with a woman before.

  When the knock comes on the door, Jules turns to me with panic in her eyes, and I automatically reach for her hand. Bringing it up to my lips, I softly kiss it and then turn to go open the door.

  “Hi, come in,” I say with a smile even though I don’t feel that confident that this meeting will go well.

  This is completely new territory for me. On two counts. One, I’ve never met a girl’s parents before, and two, I’ve never met them and then had to tell them their daughter is pregnant, all in the same day.

  “You must be Mason,” Mrs. Fairchild says as she steps through the door. “Please call me Karen.”

  She leans forward to wrap her arms around me, and I awkwardly hug her back, feeling Mr. Fairchild’s eyes on me the entire time. Once Karen moves on to fawn over her daughter, Mr. Fairchild—or David, as he introduces himself—gives me a firm handshake and an even firmer look.

  “Mom, Dad, come have a seat,” Jules says, clearing her throat.

  David walks toward his daughter where his demeanor becomes entirely more open and loving as he wraps her in a hug. I watch the scene, a foreign one, with a pang of sadness for my childhood.

  Once they’re seated on the couch, Jules walks to my side, and we sit on the opposite love seat. An ironic name for the chair, if I do say so myself.

  Jules and I agreed that just getting it over with was the best course of action; otherwise, she would worry about it until it was done.

  I see her clasping and unclasping her hands in her lap, and I grab one.

  “David, Karen,” I say, looking at each of them and then clearing my throat. I have an intense u
rge to pull my hand back from Jules and wipe the sweat off, but I can feel hers is just as sweaty. “Jules and I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  I pause, waiting for Jules to fill in after me but she doesn’t. She’s opening and closing her mouth, looking for all the world like a gasping fish.

  “Yes?” Karen prompts, raising her eyebrows. “What is it?”

  “Mom, Dad, Mason and I … well, we wanted to tell you—”

  “Out with it, young lady,” David says.

  “I’m pregnant.” Jules takes a deep breath, and I feel her hand twitch, almost like she wants to bring it up and stuff the words back in her mouth.

  We both stare at her parents. I feel like I’m a teenager, sitting here with a girlfriend, instead of the twenty-seven-year-old that I am. I’m not used to this, to answering to someone else.

  “Excuse me?” Karen says, her face draining of all color.

  David jumps up and starts to pace.

  “David, will you please sit down?” Karen snaps.

  He stares at her before stalking to the door and walking out, the bang of it crashing behind him, making us all flinch. Jules bursts into tears beside me, and I release her hand to wrap an arm around her shoulders while glaring toward the door her dad just slammed.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” Jules says between her tears.

  I clench her tighter to me. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jules. Remember, you can’t control anyone’s reactions,” I whisper to her.

  She nods, letting me know she heard me.

  “I’m assuming the child is yours?” Karen raises an eyebrow to me.

  I sit a little straighter. “Yes, ma’am.” I nod curtly and then focus my attention back on Jules.

  “Well, I can’t say that I’m thrilled with the news,” Karen says.

  I throw up a hand. “We’ve had time to come to terms with the news, and we are happy about it,” I say, my protective instincts on high alert right now.

  I thought Jules was being dramatic with her fear of telling her parents, but I can see now that there was merit to her anxiety. Karen and David are taking the news a lot harder than my dad did.

  “How far along are you?” Karen asks softly, understanding that emotions are riding high right now.

  “A little over eleven weeks,” Jules says, sniffing.

  Karen stands up and walks over to us, drawing Jules into a hug. “Oh, baby, I just wanted you to find yourself before having to give yourself away,” she says, and Jules nods.

  I feel my stomach clench again, wishing I had my mother to let me know everything was going to be okay.

  “Are you two getting married?” she asks, and I raise my eyebrows.

  “Mom, we haven’t even talked about it,” Jules says, wiping under both eyes as she darts a look toward me.

  I don’t meet her gaze.

  “You should.” Karen gives me an appraising look and then turns away to walk back to her seat on the couch, effectively drawing the line between us and her again.

  I ache for Jules and know how she feels to want acceptance and love. We made a mistake, yes, but it’s not like we’re young. We are both adults and financially stable. I’m getting angrier the longer we sit here with Karen’s judgmental stare and David’s absence.

  Jules squeezes my hand in a silent plea for me not to make the situation worse. I’m sure she can feel the anger and tension rolling off of me in waves. David finally opens the door and walks back in, a frown causing his forehead to crease.

  “You’ve always been so steady, Jules. You’ve been someone we could count on, and we didn’t have to worry about you. Why—how—why did this happen? You barely know him and this isn’t what we wanted for you.” David sinks onto the couch beside Karen and reaches up to rub his temples.

  “I know,” Jules whispers. “But we are trying and working on our relationship. We are doing the best we can.”

  After Jules says that, everyone is quiet, lost in their thoughts.

  I feel relief when my phone rings, and I retreat down the hallway to take the call. The air in the room with Jules and her parents is stifling, and I’m glad for some space to breathe. I look down to see Dad is calling. I immediately know that something is wrong and that I’m not going to like what he has to say.

  29

  Jules

  Mason’s footsteps sound in the hallway, and when I see his face, I immediately go to him.

  “What’s wrong?” I put a hand on his chest, right over his heartbeat, feeling it go a million miles a minute.

  “Dad called and said Grams is worse. The doctors aren’t saying much, but he doesn’t know if she will pull through this time.”

  The look on his face breaks my heart. Here I am, bemoaning the fact that my parents weren’t all smiles after hearing the news of my one-night-stand love child, and Mason’s hero, the one person who has stood by him through everything, is dying in a hospital right now.

  “Come on. I’ll drive,” I tell him as I run to my room and grab my coat.

  Passing Mom and Dad on the way out, I yell for them to make themselves at home, and then we are gone, headed toward the hospital in a daze, the silence deafening in the car. I reach over to grab his hand with mine, but he pulls away, not even trying to brush it off as an accident.

  The blatant denial of my affection sends a pang of fear right to my gut. I want to comfort him and help him through hard times. I’m realizing that we could make a go of this if we both put in the effort. For all of our rocky start, we have blossomed into something more, something strangely beautiful. But if he doesn’t let me comfort him in his time of emotional need, where does that leave us? I know I sound selfish with these thoughts, but I can’t help but think them. Especially with everything up in the air like it is.

  We reach the hospital, and Mason is out of the car, not even looking back to see if I’m coming. I watch him walk toward the doors in the rearview mirror, contemplating if I should even follow him in or just leave. In the end, I decide to go in. Even if he thinks he doesn’t need someone right now, he’s wrong. Dead wrong. He needs me.

  “Grams?” Mason’s voice breaks as he leans over her, his hand sliding under hers to hold it in a firm grip.

  I stand slightly away as Nick has his hand on his son’s shoulder. I feel like an outsider. Like I shouldn’t be in the room, infringing on this moment. The minutes turn to hours as I sit on the couch, wishing there were something I could do, but I can only sit there and watch Mason retreat further into himself at the realization that Grams probably isn’t going to come out of this.

  Nurses come and go, solemn looks on their faces. Nick disappears for a while, and all through it, Mason holds Grams’s hand, never letting go, never taking his eyes off her. Nothing else exists right now but him and the only woman he’s ever loved.

  Standing up, I stretch, hoping to catch Mason’s eye but he never looks my way. I walk to the door and peek out. Nick is nowhere in sight.

  “Mase?” I whisper, and he doesn’t move. Walking to him, I lay my hand on his shoulder, and I feel it tense for just a moment. “Hey, I’m going to walk for a while. Do you need anything?”

  A shake of his head dismisses me, and I sigh, stepping out from the room and quietly shutting the door.

  I walk the halls for a little bit, trying to keep my blood circulating after being squished into a small hospital couch against the wall for several hours. I pull my phone out to call Hanna, wanting to talk to someone about everything that has been going on lately.

  “Hey, Han,” I say once she picks up.

  “Jules? Is something wrong? You didn’t scream my name into the phone,” Hanna says, her voice sounding worried through the speaker.

  “I’m at the hospital,” I tell her.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Mason’s Grams isn’t doing well. He’s in there with her right now, and I feel like I’m intruding.” I stop and lean my back against the wall behind me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, Jules. I�
��ll tell Ez. I’m sure he and the guys will want to drop by.”

  “Yeah, that’s good,” I say, nodding my head even though she can’t see me. “He’s not talking to me. Maybe they can help him through this.”

  “Aren’t your parents here to visit?” Hanna asks.

  I feel the emotions from the day wash over me again. I see the disappointment on their faces and feel the new tension in the air between us. Tension I’ve never felt before. I’ve always been their pride and joy. Straight As throughout school, graduating top of my class. I’ve never done drugs. I didn’t drink until I was twenty-one. They’ve never had to look at me, so upset about my choices, and I don’t like it.

  “Yes, Mason and I told them the news, and they didn’t take it very well.”

  “Oh, Jules, I’m sorry.” Hanna’s sympathetic tone makes me feel even worse.

  “It’s okay. Just a lot to handle right now.”

  “You want to stay with me tonight?”

  “No, I need to get back to my parents. Wish me luck,” I say with a small laugh.

  “Good luck, Jules. Let me know if you need anything,” Hanna says before ending the call.

  I lay my head back against the wall and close my eyes. I let my hand drift to my belly, imagining the child growing there.

  Is it a boy or a girl? Will it have Mason’s smile? My eyes?

  I feel so disconnected from Mason right now, and I don’t want to bring a child into that. I want a stable environment and a happy home. We have a while to go before that is achieved.

  Mason

  The next few days pass with me spending every waking moment at the hospital, holding Grams’s hand, reading to her, talking to her. Jules’s parents leave, and I hardly see anyone. The guys stop by every once in a while to make sure I’m eating and bathing, but other than that, I’m left alone, except for Jules’s constant presence in the corner of the room.