“For what?” I swallowed, stroking a hand over the back of her head.
“For freaking out just now.” She sighed, dropping her voice to a whisper. “And for this morning. What happened between—”
“Stop.” I touched her lips with my finger, failing to ignore the spark. “I didn’t tell you no. If anyone needs to say sorry, it’s me.”
“But it was wrong. I know you love Maya. I mean, you’re driving cross-country for her.”
“She and I aren’t together like that.” Hadn’t been like that but for one night, really. If anything, Maya was my escape, a friend. A woman who’d been there for me through a lot of my shit. That was all.
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t expect you to.” I squeezed my eyes shut, exhaling. “I’m not in a place for a relationship anyway.”
“Yeah.” She laughed a little. “Same. We’re both kinda messed-up right now, so I guess this trip feels a little like fate. Two lost people, coming together to find a little light at the end of our dark tunnels.”
“My whole life’s been dark. No light for me.” But I’d like to think I could find myself a flashlight along the way.
As much as I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but agree about the fate part of her analogy. This kind of did feel like we were meant to take this trip together, even though fate had always fucked me over in the past. What made it any different now?
I wasn’t supposed to be happy, not with a good girl like Summer. If anything, I was supposed to be a miserable shit, who lived a miserable world, with miserable people, who never found anything good. It was hell to think such shitty thoughts, but when you grew up the way I did, optimism wasn’t reality. It was a dream.
“Hey, Niyol?” Her eyes were rimmed red when I lowered my chin to look at her again. More tears had slipped out of the corners, and I brushed them away with my thumbs. I hated seeing women cry.
“Can we be friends now?” Her bottom lip quivered.
Christ, this woman… Was she trying to rip out my heart?
I pulled her into another hug, inhaling her hair as I stroked the long strands. “Yeah, Summer. We can be friends.” But anything other wasn’t possible.
After soaking my shirt with her tears, I leaned over and kissed her temple—a natural reaction. A friend’s reaction.
“Let’s get you back to the campsite. We’ll both shower in the morning.”
She nodded and laid her head on my shoulder.
As we stepped outside, though, an uneasy feeling washed over me. I stiffened, my arm tightening around her back. My knife damn near burned a hole in my pocket but reaching for it would likely freak out Summer.
It felt like we were being watched. It was a feeling I’d had every moment of my life.
I looked left, then right, eyes narrowing.
Summer must’ve caught on.
“Everything okay?” she asked as I flashed my phone screen around the woods.
Other than something scurrying up a tree, I couldn’t see a thing.
“Yep.” I clicked it off, hurrying her through the wooded trail, hoping my paranoia was caused by my lack of sleep.
Within minutes, we were back at the site, the fire still blazing hot. Summer seemed to have relaxed a little, but I was a livewire, unable to shake away the feeling that someone was out there. Someone was watching. Someone was hunting us.
“You thirsty? I got us a couple bottles of water.” I cleared my throat and grabbed one from my bag, hoping she didn’t see my shaking hands when I handed it over.
“Thank you.” I watched as she sat on the bumper of her car, bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she opened the lid. Seconds later, she guzzled it half down.
If I hadn’t been such an ass to her during that fucking game, none of this would’ve happened. I shook my head, vowing—a-fucking-gain—to knock off the attitude.
“God, I’m so itchy.” She squirmed, reaching behind her back, under her shirt.
“You want me to look?” I stood in front of her, frowning. “Could be poison ivy or something.”
She nodded, then gulped the rest of her water back, wetness dribbling over her chin.
More movement rustled the trees to my right, and a huge gust of wind pushed through the site. Instinct had me reaching into my pockets, though my knife was in my boot. Yet nothing popped out, other than something small and furry. Black and white. A damn raccoon.
I gritted my teeth and wondered why I was so fucking worried. Was it because of Summer? This new need to protect her? Nobody knew where we were, as far as I knew—other than Lisa and Emily. There again, you should never underestimate the RDs. Especially ones who might be looking for vengeance.
Most of the time, my instincts were right, which was why the decision I made was the right one.
“Thinking we should sleep in the backseat of your truck tonight.” Lock the doors too. Every noise, every gust of wind, every snap of the fire would be fucking with my head if we slept outside. If anything, I should’ve packed us up and left, found a hotel nearby, but freaking her out any more than she already was could end badly. And being on the road at night? We’d be like sitting ducks if there was a rogue out there.
“Because of the animals?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I lied. “And it feels like rain too.”
Summer didn’t argue. Instead, we worked side-by-side to push the seats down in the back of her Rover. It’d be hell to sleep so close to her, but it’d be worth it at the same time. Even though she said she’d stay up and keep watch, too, I knew she wouldn’t make it. And I didn’t want her to have to, either.
Once the doors were locked, and my knife was tucked behind me out of sight, Summer lay face down next to me.
“Let me see that back now.” There wasn’t much I could do for her if she’d gotten into something. If she had, we’d grab meds tomorrow at the ranger station on our way out.
She yanked her arms out of my sweatshirt and tugged it up and over her shoulders. The material bunched around her neck. I almost told her to take it all off, so I could see better, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea.
I only had so much control.
Bare skin, covered in tiny bumps, met my stare in the dome light. “It looks like you’ve been bit by something.”
She groaned, squirming. “I’m so damn itchy.” My heart started racing as she reached around to unclasp her bra. “I don’t want anything to touch it.”
Holding my breath, I glanced up to study her profile, exhaling heavily through my nose. Her eyes were shut, face pinched. She looked uncomfortable as shit.
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling guilty. Something I wasn’t used to. Letting her lay on the ground earlier, even over the sleeping bag, probably hadn’t been a good idea.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I can put some water on it. See if that helps.”
“Okay.”
I reached for another bottle of water, wishing I’d have thought of bug spray, even ice. Using a spare shirt of mine, I poured the warm water over it, soaking the bottom. Holding my breath once more, I worked the wetness over her back. In the spots where she wasn’t bitten, her skin was smooth and warm. Intoxicating to touch. Next to my darkness, her pale skin shone bright in the light. I was tainted compared to her. Dirty, even.
Pleasure and fear combined inside me as I continued to clean her. Bits of mud washed away, which probably hadn’t helped with her itching. My gaze flickered to her face again. Her lips were parted, breathing unsteady—whether from me or the itching, I didn’t know. If I hadn’t been freaked out about what might happen afterward, I’d have bent over and kissed each mark until I had her moaning beneath me in pleasure. No matter how hard I’d fought this connection we’d developed, Summer had wedged herself under my skin. And I was ninety-nine-percent sure I liked her there.
“Are you done?” she whispered when I paused, my hand frozen in the air above her back.
My fingers shook when I set my han
d on my knee, and I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me.
Blonde hair hung over the top of my hoodie, covering part of her face now. Unable to help myself, I reached down and tucked it over the other side, my fingers trembling even more. She shivered at my touch, and tiny goosebumps erupted over her skin.
Touching her like that reminded me of the time when I was thirteen and first had my hands on a woman’s naked body. Even though I never actually fucked her, it still terrified me.
No matter, I continued to run my hands through the length of her hair, that same flowery smell I was already hooked on hitting my nose deep—making my gut go tight.
“Hmm,” she moaned, her body soft, compliant. The sound causing me to shut my eyes.
How the fuck could I feel this way for a woman I’d only really known for three days?
God, I was nothing but a bastard who thought with his dick. That had to be it. Summer was the first woman I’d been alone with in two years. The first woman I’d touched, kissed…
Her skin was a softness my hands hadn’t known in a long, long time.
Reopening my eyes, I greedily moved the tips of my fingers down her back, around her bites, letting myself savor the maze between.
She shivered. “That feels nice.”
Her words were my last straw. The reason I lowered my forehead to her cheek and whispered, “I’m so damn sorry.”
She froze. “For what?”
“Everything.” I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled back before I dropped a kiss to her shoulder.
Slowly, she slipped her arms back into my sweatshirt, pulled her bra off underneath, then rolled over onto her side, facing me. “You have no reason to be sorry.”
I settled down next to her, mirroring her position. The edge of the folded-down seats dug into my ribs, but I didn’t care.
“I’ve been a dick.” Temptation had me settling my hand along the curve of her waist, while desire and the need to be closer had me pressing my forehead to hers.
“It’s okay.” She shivered. “I haven’t exactly been a sweetheart either.”
“Hmm.” Little did she know that everything she’d done and said within the past three days was a sucker-punch to my heart—the best and worst kind.
“You need to sleep.” She reached over, touched my hand.
No matter how tired I was, sleeping wasn’t an option. Not only was I freaked out about whoever could be outside, but being this close to her, her hot breath grazing my lips, made me feel like the universe was at my fingertips and she was the bright sun circling me. The little bit of goodness I’d been searching for. The goodness that Maya had given me once, only it was two times more powerful with Summer.
“I don’t want to do it anymore.” I stroked her cheek, holding her gaze.
“Do what?”
“Fight with you.”
“Then we won’t.” She leaned back a bit, saying the words so fast, I had to wonder if she even knew what she was agreeing to.
I knew, though. I also knew that if I didn’t argue, things would get worse between us in other ways. Being away from the RDs and going to stay with Maya was what I needed. The right thing to do. But Summer? She was proving to be the thing I suddenly wanted more than anything else.
“And about this morning…” She sucked her bottom lip in, eyes skimming over my face. “I just wanted to make you feel better. You had that dream, and I had a dream, and we were both broken and—”
“You had a dream too?”
It couldn’t have been any worse than mine. Pops finding me, tying me up, knifing the dragon tat off my back… It was the way of the RDs. You leave, turn your back on the club for good, you lose everything, including the permanent ink on your skin. I’d seen it done before. Too many times. I’d gotten out of it because of my prison sentence, my quick escape out of town. And if Flick really was the leader now, he wasn’t as set in Pops’ ways.
But it could still happen.
“Yeah, but it was nothing.” She shrugged it off, messing with her bracelet again. Her eyes were distant as she stared over my shoulder. I reached out and touched her hand.
“You okay?”
She blinked, refocusing on my face with a small smile. “I’m tired.”
“Liar.” I frowned, touching her chin. “Tell me about your dream.”
“It really was nothing. Just stuff to do with my ex.”
My jaw clenched. I had no right to be jealous, but something in me was. Something very stupid and new.
“He hurt you?” I asked.
“Not physically, no.”
I shut my eyes, breathing her in as comfort. If any man so much as laid a finger on her, I’d kill them.
“Back to the point of this whole conversation.” She leaned back, touching my shoulder with her own. I reopened my eyes, already missing her warmth. “Me doing what I did to you this morning? It was unacceptable.”
I couldn’t stop myself from grinning back at her. The rat bastard in me thought what she’d done was perfectly acceptable. Phenomenal, really.
“Don’t look at me like that.” She rolled her eyes, dropping her head to the side. “Besides, I don’t really want anything like that in my life right now.”
“Why’re you bringing it up then?” I was just as much to blame, seeing how I didn’t try to stop her.
“Because I want you to know that it won’t happen again, it was a mistake.”
It was a mistake in her world, but I didn’t want it to be. I wanted her to want me, fight for me, as much as I suddenly did her. Even if all we had together was this trip.
“And you can trust me to drive you without having to worry about me… seducing you, by the way.”
“Seducing me?” I laughed. She was fucking cute if she thought what she’d done was just seduction. Her mouth on my cock was a top-fucking-notch memory, one I’d take with me everywhere now.
It didn’t matter what she said, or how many times she tried to play it off as nothing, because there was no way in hell I could stop thinking about it. And the longer I lay there with her, her flowery scent invading me, the more I realized that my guilt over wanting to be with her was lessening. And without that guilt, resisting anything else she offered me would become impossible.
Sixteen
Summer
“Tell me about Maya.”
I knew things were getting dangerous between us, the sensation in the air stifling, like pins prickling my skin. Regardless of how much I wanted to curl into Niyol’s side, tell him to ignore any last doubt he might have had and be with me, even if only for the night, I couldn’t. He’d hate himself if he did.
I wasn’t dumb. I knew he was likely going to San Diego not only to get away from his old life, but to see if he could rehash something with this Maya woman. He might claim not to want her like that, but he wouldn’t know until he saw her. And the last thing I needed was to become someone’s second choice, someone’s fling.
Surprisingly, he leaned back like I did—relaxed, staring at the roof when he answered. “I met Maya when I was nineteen. Her uncle’s Flick, actually.” There was no emotion on his face as he spoke, but I could hear the genuine adoration in his words at the same time. Awe, really.
“And who’s Flick again?” I asked, ignoring the lump in my throat.
“The club VP, now president. Apparently he took over after Pops went to prison.”
I nodded as he continued, having no idea what the role of a VP or president was. Motorcycle clubs were something of a conundrum to me, like Niyol was. All I knew was what was portrayed of them in movies and TV shows: they often broke the law, but rarely got caught.
“One summer, Maya and her mom moved into Flick’s place. They’d been running from Maya’s crazy-ass dad, who was the VP of some club out in Arizona.” His dark brows furrowed in thought. “Anyways, I rode over with Flick on my bike to help them move in. The rest is history, I guess.”
All too easily I could imagine Niyol on a motorcycle. The thought had
my tummy fluttering with excitement. Dressed in one of those black leather vests, long hair blowing around his face… It was a hazardous thought to have, mainly because I could effortlessly envision being the girl on the back of his bike, hands tightly wrapped around his muscular torso.
“Come on, there’s more to it than that.” Though I meant to sound playful, I was barely holding it together. I was a fool to think I would ever be someone he could fall for, but my stupid heart just wasn’t getting the memo like my brain. Besides that, if Niyol was looking for romance at all, he probably wouldn’t choose it with me.
He grinned at me, adding a wink. “Well, she did remind me of an anime character when I saw her. All big, hazel eyes, porcelain-like skin. Cute as hell and dressed like a badass in leather pants and shit.”
“Oh. Is she, um, Native American like you are?”
“Nah, half Chinese, half white.”
My lumpy throat burned even more with unwelcomed jealousy. “I bet she’s stunning.”
I felt him shrug against my shoulder. “The two of us would sneak away together when I came by on the weekends after that. We’d talk and shit. Archer would always get mad, telling me bros before hos, but Slade wasn’t even a brother yet, just seventeen. He was too busy putting his nose in a book to notice where I was half the time back then.” He paused. “Maya was actually the first girl I’d ever really been friends with. She was fun. Listened to my shit. Made me laugh, too.”
“Bet you lost your virginity before you even knew what virginity meant.” I nudged his thigh with my knee.
He groaned. “You make me sound like a fucking slut.”
“Were you?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“No. Maya was my first.”
For some reason, that hurt me a little more, though I didn’t have any right to feel that way. God, why was I asking?
He blew out a slow breath. “Most of that summer was spent surrounded by crazy-ass bikers. If anything, she was like a sister to me, least at first. Then the night before she was set to leave, we got a little too drunk on moonshine and started messing around. She wanted to do it and I thought she was cool.”
Her Wild Ride: An addictive, steamy biker MC romance suspense novel Page 12