I slowly rolled to my back and looked to the roof. The last thing I wanted was to see his face light up for another woman.
The stars weren’t as bright now through the sunroof, the moon hiding behind a layer of clouds. We might have been locked inside a car, but I could still smell the campfire flames from outside. It was distracting, and I needed that.
“Tell me about this.” He tugged at my shell bracelet, breaking me out of my thoughts. I pulled my arm up and toyed with the ends. “You’re always playing with it,” he added.
“It was my mother’s.”
“Was?” he asked.
I nodded. “She died giving birth to me. When I turned sixteen, my dad gave it to me.”
“Shit. I didn’t know.” He rolled over to face me, his warm breath barely smelling of cigarettes. I hadn’t seen him smoke all day, and secretly I knew why. He’d be angry if he knew, but I was saving his life when I threw those things out the window this morning when he’d fallen asleep on the road.
“I’m fine. It’s hard to miss someone you never met.”
“That’s how I am about my own mom,” he said, surprising me with his truth.
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “You ever wonder what she was like?”
“Mmm, yes. All the time, actually. That’s part of the reason why I jumped at the chance to drive you.” I smiled, feeling my throat close off a little. “Mom loved the beach. Especially the ones in San Diego, according to my father. By going there, I feel like I’ll be closer to her somehow.”
“Did she name you?” he asked, his voice going a little softer. Shyer, maybe. I could see the blush on his cheeks.
“Nope. That’d be my dad. I was born in the Summer. July. My father thought it’d be a nice dedication to her, I guess.” But really, I hated my name. The memories I never got to experience with a woman who had died because of me.
“Enough about me.” I shook my head, feeling my smile wobble a little. I didn’t talk about this for a reason. It was too hard. “What happened to Maya?” I asked, changing the subject—hating how I had to use his first lover as my scapegoat. “How did you guys end things?”
“She moved to California at the end of that summer. Said she couldn’t do the biker life anymore.”
I rolled back over to my side, too curious not to see his face. Loss accompanied his dark memories this time, I could see it in his eyes. I longed to comfort him but didn’t know how.
“That had to be hard.”
“It was. But not because I wanted her as my old lady. She was my best girl-friend. One of the only people who understood what it was like, besides my brothers.”
“That’s so sad.”
He shrugged again, his go-to movement when he obviously didn’t want to expand on a subject.
“After she left, did you two keep in touch?” I asked.
A nod. “Yeah. We tried. Besides my stepmom and Emily, she was the only one who called me when I was locked up.”
“And now?” I held my breath, waiting.
“And now what?”
“Are you interested in her… like that?”
“You mean, do I want to fuck her and make her my girl?”
I rolled my eyes and shoved his shoulders. “You are such a crass, dirty man.”
He laughed, then reached up and held my hand over his heart. “I don’t know what I want…” He waited a beat, then shut his eyes. “Other than to get out of Illinois. Away from the club. It’ll be good to see Maya, sure, but I’m worried if she sees me she’ll change her mind. Tell me to go. I’ll be fucked.”
My stomach tightened at his words. Niyol had been pushed aside by his family for his entire life. Abandoned and disowned, abused… He didn’t know his mom, and his own father was a monster. Sure he had Emily and Lisa, but they weren’t blood.
“She’d be an idiot to turn you away, Niyol.” He blinked, narrowing his eyes at me. I rolled mine at his shocked expression. “I’m serious.” I tightened my hold on his shirt, squeezing. “Like I’ve said before, you act all hard and tough, even mean sometimes. But there’s this underlying softness inside of you that any woman would be a fool not to notice and love.”
I winced at the L-word, knowing I’d said too much. Letting down my guard, exposing my vulnerable, aching heart, was a bad habit of mine. What I needed to do was shut my mouth and go back to sleep instead of telling him the truth that I couldn’t hide.
Niyol was a good person. He’d just never been told so before.
“You trying to make me cocky, Princess?”
For once, I was thankful for his nickname and sarcasm. “It’s amazing you can eat, seeing as how you are so full of yourself.”
He made a goofy face, squinted his eyes. The view was so silly and… so not the Niyol I’d come to know.
“Will you ever go back?” I asked, too nosy for my own good.
He frowned. “Go back to the club?”
“Yeah. There.” This was really none of my business. But for someone who talked so highly about his friends, Slade and Archer and even Flick, I couldn’t help but wonder why he was so adamant about getting away.
“I’m not welcome there anymore.”
“How do you know? Did they tell you that?”
He seemed to think about his words, eyes narrowed, lips pursed. Then finally, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his mouth, like it pained him to speak. To say what was on his mind.
“It’s complicated.”
“Because of what you did to your father.”
He nodded.
“But did they actually tell you that you weren’t allowed?” I asked again.
“No. But I got a letter before I left prison.”
“What did it say?”
He groaned. “God, you sure do ask a lot of questions.”
“I’m pretty sure I was an investigative reporter in my previous life.” I smirked. “I kind of have a knack for being nosy.”
Reaching over, Niyol tapped said nose, only to trail his knuckles down the back of my cheek. “You got a cute nose, by the way.”
“Nuh, uh. No subject changes.” I grabbed his hand, pulling it down, but that was a mistake because, soon, he interlaced our fingers together, holding me still.
I swallowed hard, blinking in surprise, but I made no move to pull away.
Against my palm, I savored the touch of his rough callouses, wondering, again, how they might feel against my naked flesh. If he was trying to truly distract me, it was working, because suddenly, looking him in the eyes, feeling his simple, yet intimate hold, I lost every single word inside my very frazzled brain.
“What are you thinking about?” Niyol searched my face, his voice cracking a little.
“I-I don’t know.”
“Summer…” He leaned on his elbow to look down at me, eyes filled with warm curiosity, and a softness he was starting to share more than not. Strong cheekbones met wide brown eyes, two lips I imagined kissing all night, though I knew that ship had sailed. Still, I took in all of his features, greedy for every inch I could devour with my gaze—in lust with the scruff on his chin and the small tattoo that ran down the side of his neck. “Tell me.”
I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and averted my gaze. “I’m tired.”
“Look at me,” he ordered less than five seconds later. His voice cracked again, desperation clinging to those three simple words.
Pulling my lower lip between my teeth, I did as he asked, clinging to the top of the sleeping bag, begging for a shield that could hide whatever emotion I might have been exposing.
His eyebrows furrowed. “Tell me what you’re thinking about.”
“I don’t know, I told you.”
“I don’t believe you.”
A finger touched my cheek, holding me in place, the sensation sending tiny bolts through my body. I shivered as he moved his hand down my neck only to stop when it settled over my heart. He continued to search my face, like he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. A sig
n from God to back away? To move closer?
“What are you thinking about?” I turned the question back on him, needing to know the secrets behind his eyes first. The dark coiled emotion hidden in those muddy pools called to me.
A crackle of lightning sparked through the air outside of my Rover. I jumped, automatically leaning closer to him. Droplets of rain hit the glass just seconds later, peppering across the metal roof. The loud boom of thunder that followed had me letting go of his hand and wrapping my arm around his waist. He mirrored my position, squeezing me close and murmuring soft words I couldn’t make out.
In the end, though, it was the look on his face that had my breath catching. What it meant most of all.
Desire.
Need.
Something more.
“Please,” I swallowed. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” My composure was slipping, my heart racing in my chest. The thunderous beat was surely louder than the ones outside.
The air grew thicker, stifling. The unspoken words clung to us like millions of electric molecules.
“How ’bout I show you instead?”
That’s when he did the last thing I expected him to do.
He kissed me.
Seventeen
Niyol
My mind and body weren’t my own. Summer looked so damn sad and beautiful. I couldn’t handle it, hated even thinking that I might be the reason for that pain in her eyes.
But then she moaned against my lips, parting her own, accepting me. Taking me.
The taste of marshmallow invaded my tongue, and I knew right then, this was where I wanted to be—where I was meant to be.
Needing her closer, I laid down on my side, both hands cupping her neck as I sampled every inch of her mouth. The windows fogged up, humidity blanketing the space. Sweat crept down the back of my neck, but I still shuddered, craving her skin against mine.
Summer’s legs wrapped around me, drawing me closer as I moved to lay on top of her. I groaned, unable to stop the sound when she rolled her hips upward. It was just like this morning, but deeper, closer, needier. Desperate. I was so fucking desperate. For her.
Something different flickered between us now, and as I pulled my mouth back, dropping kisses to her neck, tasting her sweet and salty skin, I realized how much I didn’t want this to end.
Her and me, this thing we had, this connection? It was everything.
My hands roamed over her thighs, rubbing up and down, until they landed at the edge of her shorts. I lifted the sweatshirt up to her neck, urging it off. No hesitation, she lifted it over her head, blonde hair pooling around her like wings.
I groaned at the sight of her, naked, exposed, and moved lower, kissing the undersides of her creamy breasts, then sucking slowly on one, pink nipple. Right then and there, I looked into her blue eyes and finally lost the rest of my control.
I lost me.
“Sit up,” I grumbled, pulling back just enough so I could watch her.
Eyes wide, she did as I asked, biting down on her lip. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
So trusting, so fucking sweet… I’d never had a woman look at me the way Summer did. And I fucking loved it.
At the thought, I lost even more of my control. “Take off your shorts. I want to see every inch of you.”
She paused, something in her holding her back. I touched her face with both of my hands to keep her with me, to tell her that this wasn’t a mistake. If she craved me even half as much as I did her, then I wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t. I’d be the one dealing with the backlash later, not her.
“I’ll make you feel good, Summer. Will you let me?”
She finally nodded, trembling at the same time. My fingers tightened on my lap as I sat up on my knees, mirroring her position. The rain fell harder, blocking us from the world outside. Possessiveness struck me with a slap to the heart, and I touched one hand to the curve of her waist to curb the sensation.
“What is this?” The question was whispered, her eyes alight, confused, but needy.
I reached up and touched the window to my left, tracing through the steam with messy letters. B. E. A. U. T. I. F. U. L. I spelled out. That’s what this was between us.
Dressed in nothing but her panties, Summer grinned shyly as she lifted her own fingers to write something herself. S. E. X. Y.
I chuckled, lightness breaking through the terse emotions flaring through me. Then when she slowly turned her head to look back at me, with a smile so sweet on her lips, I couldn’t help but say the words this time.
“Closer.” I pressed my nose into her hair and inhaled.
“Anything.” She did just that, bringing her naked chest against my shirt.
I could barely catch my breath as I wrapped my hands around her lower back, the chill of her skin the perfect counter to my hot hands. She shivered even more as I rubbed my palms over her bumpy shoulders, a circular motion of lust and comfort.
“Tell me to stop. That you don’t want me like this.” I breathed out the words in between kisses to her cheek, her chin, her neck.
She pulled her head back, blinking up at me. “I can’t tell you to stop. Not when I need you.”
The man in me who craved this woman cheered, and I pressed her hand to my chest as she rose on her knees even higher.
Slowly, she urged me onto my back. Then she straddled me like she’d done this morning. Hands frantic, she pulled my shirt up and over my head this time. I tossed it somewhere in the front seat, growling when she lowered her lips to my chest, then my nipples. She sucked on one, drawing circles around my stomach with her fingertips. But then she went lower—moving beneath the waistline of my pants. Her hot breath against my skin had me grinding my hips. I groaned, tossing my head back. She wrapped her tiny hand around my cock and stroked it up and down, pre-come already spilling from the head.
“Fuck.” That felt good. This woman knew exactly what she was doing.
I rolled her back over and grabbed her hands, raising them above her head. Our breathing matched, chests rising and falling in sync.
“You’re good at that, Princess.”
She whimpered as I bit down on her shoulder blade, hard enough to leave a tiny mark, but not hard enough to hurt. God, I wanted to claim this woman—every inch of her—even though she never would be mine to claim.
“Don’t move. Let me make you feel good.” I sucked her bottom lip between my teeth, causing a low hum to sound in her chest.
When she whimpered out a soft, Yes, please, I continued to kiss and touch, moving down her gorgeous body, landing at the top of her panties. They were black, cotton, simple. Perfect. I nibbled on her hip, using my other hand to start the process of pulling them down—and down they went with the wiggle of her thighs and the fling of her foot.
“I’ve wanted to taste you since the second we first met.” I nuzzled my nose against the soft patch of hair covering her pussy.
“Niyol,” she whispered my name like a prayer, arching against my mouth.
I shut my eyes, losing myself as I parted the lips of her pussy, and licked her warm clit with one long stroke.
She shuddered. “Yes, that…” Then arched her back even higher—giving me just enough room to get my hands beneath her bare ass. My face was sweating, beads of it dripped down my temples, but I didn’t care. Nothing else mattered.
Positioning myself deeper between her thighs, I sent out a silent prayer, asking for a little help, because foreplay was about as foreign to me as sex was these days. I’d only ever went down on one woman, and I’d been nineteen, though blowjobs were an almost day-to-day occurrence for me during my time at the club. Now the thought of anyone else’s mouth around my cock besides Summer’s made my chest throb.
Fuck was I in trouble.
As I covered her clit with my lips, she hissed, moving her hands from over her head. I let it happen this time, watching her under the dome light, using the sensation of her fingers digging into my scalp to calm me. Settle me.
I sucked and pulled and licked like my fucking life depended on it.
“Niyol, yes. Like that. Don’t stop.”
My cock ached with the need to fill her. But I would not—could not—let that happen yet. So, I dug the pads of my fingertips into her skin instead, pulling one hand away to plunge a finger inside of her. She cried out even more, the sound wild and feral like the animals that probably surrounded us. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted her screaming.
She arched even more, her knees squeezing my head. And soon she was coming hard against my lips, calling out my name on a long, shivering moan.
That was the exact moment I lost a piece of myself to her. One I should have done anything and everything to try and get back but didn’t.
Probably never would.
Eighteen
Summer
Thunder clapped in the distance, the sound sinister as it echoed off the mountains from outside the car. Niyol was still asleep, hair strewn over his face in a sexy, tousled way I was beginning to adore. With an arm thrown over his eyes, he looked younger, softer, and nothing like the broken man I’d come to know.
Shirtless, he was a sight to behold—all layered muscles that set my pulse racing when I stared too long. I studied the tattoos that lined his stomach and chest even more this time. Most were of the script variety, except for the tail of a red animal that drew my attention to the top of his left shoulder. Without even looking at his back, I already knew it was a dragon.
Unable to help myself, I reached out and lightly traced what I could see, wondering if it would forever be a reminder of a past he no longer wanted to embody. Could he have it removed? Did he want to have it removed? I knew so little about him. His wants and needs, other than starting over. Making a new life. A life I was suddenly hoping to be a part of somehow.
I wasn’t stupid enough to think that a bout of amazing foreplay and an all-night cuddle-fest meant more than it did. But the romance-loving, girlie part inside of me was hardcore, attempting to take the reins and steer me in that direction.
Her Wild Ride: An addictive, steamy biker MC romance suspense novel Page 13