What She Saw

by Barb Han

She’d be embarrassed by the fact her stomach had just announced that it was empty, but that ship had probably sailed, considering it hadn’t been all that long ago that the two of them lay naked and tangled in the sheets of her uncle’s fishing cabin. She could lie about the fact that she could eat an entire side of beef courtesy of pregnancy hormones or come clean and admit to being hungry again. At least she hoped this weird vomit-eat-nausea-eat-vomit-eat routine could be attributed to something that made sense. “Soup sounds good. And a toothbrush if you have a spare.”

  “You remember where that is?” It was more statement than question.

  There were always extras in the guest bathroom. The Kent family was prepared for just about anything. Once, when the town lost power due to flooding after one of the wettest springs on record, the Kent family hosted a barbecue to feed as many folks as possible. Their generator allowed them to open their home to the elderly and mothers with small children until the power company could sort out the issue and restore electricity. The Kents had always been good people, and she was sorry to hear they’d passed away. She couldn’t imagine seeing one without the other.

  “Yes, down the hall.” She mentally nudged herself out of the reverie. “I’ll be right back.”

  The toothbrush and toothpaste felt like gifts from heaven as she splashed cold water on her face, rinsed her mouth and then brushed. Being here in the main house with Jordan after their fling and recent news should feel stranger than it did. She chalked it up to having been there before in her teenage years and tried to forget it. She sent an update to Zach via text, noting that she’d found nothing by the creek.

  By the time she returned to the kitchen, there was a cup of tea sitting on the table. She took a seat near the fireplace and stared at the folded stack of clothes she recognized as belonging to her.

  “You left those at the cabin. I had them cleaned.” There was an edge to his voice that she recognized from their earlier conversation. Nothing about this day was going right. Sure, he’d been on her mind. And now it seemed everywhere she turned, he wasn’t far. To be fair, she was on his ranch. It wasn’t like he was stalking her.

  Of course, she was grateful for bumping into him on the property tonight. For the first time in her career when she’d come upon a possibly sketchy situation, she’d frozen.

  After her friends had been ambushed in the protest that had turned deadly last year, nothing was the same. She couldn’t rely on her body to cooperate when her stress levels skyrocketed.

  “Thanks, but I should probably—”

  “Hear me out before you finish.” He put up a hand in protest.

  She picked up her cup of tea and took a sip, already feeling more relaxed than she’d felt in longer than she could remember. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, because she’d felt pretty darn comfortable in his arms during their fling. Jordan had a way of putting her at ease, and she knew better than to get comfortable in the feeling. She nodded, hoping her cheeks weren’t flushing thinking about the amazing sex they’d had for seven days and nights that had gone by way too fast.

  “We have everything you could possibly want or need right here.” He didn’t mention that he could keep an eye on her, but she figured that had to be part of the motivation.

  “I have a home to go to, Jordan. What about that?”

  “You don’t have any pets to take care of, so you could always go home tomorrow morning.” He made a good point.

  “Why should I stay here? I have a perfectly good bed—”

  “Because I’m asking you to.” He held out his hands, palms up. “I’ll admit that I got hit with what felt like a boulder earlier, and I doubt that I reacted the best way I could’ve. I’m sorry for that.”

  “There’s no right way to find out you’re going to be a dad unexpectedly,” she offered. He was beating himself up for nothing. The news had caught them both off guard, and she hadn’t exactly been dealing with it well, either.

  “And then there’s the murder investigation...”

  “Breanna.” It was difficult to say her name without getting choked up.

  “Right. I know it’s your job to investigate, and I respect that. But you’ll go home to an empty house, and you shouldn’t be alone right now. This news hit you, too. I remember what you said about not ever wanting to be a mother.” The rim of his coffee cup suddenly became very interesting.

  “You feel responsible for this?” Of course he did. Guilt was written across the worry lines on his forehead. “Wait. Don’t answer that question. It’s obvious that you do, so I just want to remind you that it takes two people to make a baby.”

  “That part I’m aware of.” He smirked, and it was devastatingly handsome. She didn’t want it to tug at her heart, but it did. “Like it or not, we’re in this together.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.

  “I remember what happened when you tried to sleep—”

  “People have bad dreams,” she said, a little too quickly. She could feel tension in her shoulder blades, especially on the left side, which sent pain up her neck and threatened to give her a terrible stress headache.

  “That’s not how I’d describe what I saw you experience.” Great, now he was an armchair psychologist?

  “I’m okay.” Her body belied her words, trembling just thinking about the nightmares.

  * * *

  JORDAN COULD SEE Courtney’s body shaking. Hell, he wasn’t trying to upset her. “I’m probably going about this all wrong. But I’d like you to stay the night so I can make sure you’re okay. You’re in the middle of a tough investigation, and you got hit with news I know you weren’t expecting or wanting. You just started your job here at Zach’s office, and now you’re going to have to take time off at some point for maternity leave. It’s more than most could handle, but this is you, Courtney. You’re one of the strongest women I know—”

  Courtney’s face was turning redder and redder with every word he spoke. He seemed to be making a mess of things.

  “I’m not here to make things worse. At least let me feed you before you run out of here,” he said by way of compromise.

  She nodded, and he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. He finished heating dinner and set a bowl of soup on the table for her. She finished it within minutes.

  “Thank you. It was amazing,” she said. “I can’t remember the last time I was this tired. I’ll take you up on the offer to stay the night if it still stands. I’m too tired to get behind the wheel, and it has been a long day. Taking a shower and then dropping into bed sounds like heaven about now.”

  “You already know where the guest room is. Clothes are there.” He motioned toward the stack. “You need anything else, just give a shout. Someone is always around.”

  “Will do. Can I help clean up in here first?” she asked.

  “I got this.” He shook his head for emphasis.

  She picked up the folded stack and disappeared down the hallway. The freshly-made soup provided the first smile since Courtney arrived at KR. His chest puffed out with pride for giving her something to make her feel better.

  Co-parenting would require that the parents actually get along. Making progress on their complicated relationship felt good. Jordan had had the benefit of growing up with parents who’d loved each other. Although their life together as a couple hadn’t always been easy, his parents cared for their family and the community. Their reputation for generosity was one Jordan and his siblings intended to uphold. Being a Kent meant walking in big shoes, but Jordan had every intention of living up to his family name.

  Of course, he wasn’t exactly doing a stellar job of it so far. The pregnancy news had caught him off guard, tipped his world off its axis. Getting married because of a child was noble but not exactly the recipe for a happy relationship. He couldn’t even imagine growing up in a household where the parents weren’t head-over-h
eels in love with each other. Besides, Courtney seemed more opposed to the idea of marriage for a child’s sake than he did.

  Jordan had some work to do in order to gain Courtney’s trust. But then, she didn’t seem capable of trusting anyone after her upbringing and then what had happened in Dallas. He’d learned about what had happened to her and then read the story in the news following their brief fling. She’d been the lone survivor of a terrible tragedy, the kind of heartbreak that changed a person’s view on life. The fact that she’d survived when several of her team didn’t seemed to weigh heavy on her. He could imagine that came with the kind of guilt that could swallow a person whole.

  Jordan finished with the dishes and drained his coffee mug. His thoughts bounced from Breanna and her family and back to Courtney. There was no way he’d get any shut-eye with all that was rattling around in his mind. Shutting down his brain would be next to impossible. He took a shower to help clear his thoughts and then changed into clean clothes.

  There was no use fighting his urge to stay awake. He’d learned a long time ago that it was easier to go with the flow. So he settled down at the kitchen table with his laptop and a notebook. He tried to think back to who Breanna’s friends had been. He was drawing a blank. For as long as he could remember, she’d been a loner. And then there was Reggie Barstock. He had a limp on his left side, a grudge, and seemed to slip in and out of town without being seen. Jordan’s sister-in-law Chelsea was a distant relative and had inherited the Barstock family home and business. Trouble from Reggie had followed, but then Chelsea’s ex-husband had come to town and tried to scare her into getting back together with him.

  It was that incident that had brought Chelsea and Jordan’s brother Nate together. Nate was a volunteer firefighter. The two had met and then fallen in love after Nate answered a call from dispatch not long after Chelsea moved to the area. Her craft pizza place had opened downtown last year after a fire nearly took her life. Everyone had suspected Reggie Barstock, but he’d been innocent. Her ex, Travis, had been responsible.

  Barstock could stay on the suspect list. Courtney had mentioned someone who lived on the edge of town, a former truck driver. Jordan made a note to ask Zach about the guy.

  Didn’t Courtney mention something about following someone in blue shorts at The Mart? He’d ask her about that later. Although she might not speak to someone outside of law enforcement on an ongoing investigation. The fact that a murder had happened on Kent land made this personal. He figured he’d stick around this time in order to pitch in to find the murderer. He recapped the situation in his mind. A guy started out by killing small animals before moving onto larger ones, the heifers. And then he killed a woman.

  Jordan wrote down, has a problem with women. He leaned over and picked up his laptop. He opened it and powered it up. Then, he looked up “characteristics of serial killers” before skimming the results. Working for the family ranch at the Idaho location gave him flexibility with his job.

  Based on the search, he scribbled down a few key words and phrases that caught his attention. Easily bored. Lacks empathy. Remorseless. Superficially charming. Grandiose. There weren’t many but they impacted society most.

  Questions swirled, so he wrote those down, too. Could the person everyone was looking for be someone young? Someone in his early twenties? Or maybe someone who went away to school but came home for breaks? What was the tie to Jacobstown? Why did he cut off the left foot? Was he born deformed? Ridiculed? Was he injured at a young age? Teased?

  There was no doubt these same questions had been asked by his cousin Zach. There was also no doubt that Zach was working toward answers. More questions struck, so he jotted those down, too. What was the killer’s next move? Was this guy looking for some kind of a prize?

  Damn. That one hit hard and fast. Since the killing happened on Kent property, Jordan had to assume the guy was somehow connected to the land or the family. The jerk was butchering livestock and then a woman under their noses. He couldn’t even think about Breanna’s murder without being slammed with anger. Even with increased security and strategically placed cameras, the guy had gotten away with murder.

  Of course, the Kent ranch was sprawled out over thousands of acres and spread into three states: Texas, Idaho and Wyoming. As far as anyone knew, this guy had only struck in Texas. He’d hit other ranches in the area. So he must be tied to the community in Jacobstown. He also seemed to have an affinity for water, specifically the creek. Jordan jotted that down, too. It seemed a case like this could use as many eyes on it as possible.

  He made a note to talk to every woman in the Kent family. It wasn’t safe for any one of them to be out alone until this jerk was safely behind bars. A Kent would be considered a prize due to the family’s status in the community. There was no way Jordan was willing to wait for something to happen to someone he loved in order to find out.

  A question burned. Why start killing now? Didn’t serial killers always have some kind of trigger? The event that sent this man spiraling might’ve happened on that date.

  But then, the holidays played a number on a lot of people’s emotions. It might be that simple. The date had more to do with leading up to Christmas.

  These were all easy questions to ask and assumptions to make. Jordan was certain his cousin would’ve thought of everything written in the notebook. Maybe this case required more out-of-the-box thinking. Dates could represent an anniversary or could be some kind of twisted code. Then again, people got depressed around the holidays. Jordan had read somewhere that depression spiked this time of year. Which also made him think this could be the anniversary of the death of something.

  The method of also killing had to have some type of meaning attached to it. The killer had used a weapon with a sharp, clean edge. A hatchet?

  With half the town pitching in to take shifts on neighborhood watch groups or volunteer at Zach’s office, there were more folks outside than usual. Zach had also said a few folks were getting out of Jacobstown for a while, saying they felt safer going to Colorado or New Mexico to ski rather than stick around town this year.

  Jordan glanced at the time. It was half past two in the morning. Zach would most likely be sleeping, so disturbing him in order to discuss the case was out of the question. Courtney was in the guest room, hopefully asleep. It was most likely the pregnancy, but he’d never seen her look so tired. His heart stirred thinking about her, but he shut it down quickly. It wouldn’t do any good remembering how soft her creamy skin was when she settled in the crook of his arm to sleep. Or how much he actually liked staying awake into ridiculous hours of the morning talking. Or how fiery hot the sex had been.

  A cold glass of milk later, and he settled down at the table again.

  A pad of paper stared back at him.

  A bloodcurdling scream got him to his feet and moving down the hall faster than a thoroughbred at Lone Star Park.

  Chapter Six

  Courtney sat up and pulled the covers up to her neck. She felt disoriented and like her head might split in two. She tried to stop her body from shaking as the bedroom door burst open. A familiar face—Jordan’s—was next to her bed barely a second later.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m good.” But she was not all right. And part of her feared she never would be again. Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead, and she realized that she must’ve screamed for him to come running in like he did.

  More sweat beaded, rolling down the side of her face, and she could feel that she’d soaked her shirt.

  Slowly, her bearings started to come back. She was at Jordan Kent’s family home. It was the middle of the night. She was sleeping in his guest room. The night terrors that had plagued her for the past year were relentless.

  “You’re safe now.” Jordan said other words meant to soothe her as the mattress dipped under his weight. He sat next to her, and she instantly felt the air cha
rge around her. Attraction replaced fear. She didn’t debate her next actions. His arms opened to her, and she embraced the invitation, burying her face in his masculine chest.

  Memories flooded her as she breathed in his all-male, uniquely Jordan scent. It was a mix of coffee and campfires, outdoorsy and spicy. She missed that smell. It would be so easy to get lost in it now and let Jordan be her strength. She was tired. Tired of being the strong one. Tired of standing alone. Tired of missing him.

  There was a baby to think about now. A child who would have a better life than Courtney had had. She took in a breath meant to fortify her but only ushered in more of Jordan’s scent. That was about as productive as trying to milk a beetle.

  Pulling on all the strength she had left, she moved away from him and hugged her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry about that. I won’t make it a habit.”

  “Promise me that anytime you need someone to lean on, you’ll call me.” There was so much honesty and purity in the words, she almost gave in. But that would mean so much more than the surface of being there for a friend. Trusting anyone wasn’t her gig. Some people weren’t made like that, and she was one of them. Growing up with an abusive father after her mother had abandoned her wasn’t an excuse, but she figured it didn’t help.

  Those weren’t the words he needed to hear based on his frown, and yet she couldn’t lie to him, either. Instead of agreeing, she took a breath. “They’re getting better. The nightmares. They’re not as vivid anymore.”

  “That’s good.” The edge returned to his voice, and she wondered if he felt the sting of rejection. She didn’t mean it that way, but if the shoe were on the other foot, she’d probably take it the same.

  “It’s just something I have to handle. You know?” She hoped he could understand, because she really wasn’t trying to be a jerk. Letting anyone else in was just hard...too hard.

  He nodded by way of response, and she appreciated the fact that he was making the effort.