Olly, Olly, Oxen Frey

by Paul Manchester

  “Oh dear. I was afraid you’d ask that. I don’t have any stock of wishes at the moment.” In reality, the Wish Monger had a considerable stock of happy fuzzy-wiggles and fluttering wishes hidden safely away in a magic room on her floating island. Ha! “Perhaps, if you’d let me leave –”

  “That’s just impossible, Mordette!” implored the Blue Queen. “I need your expertise here! You know more about wish magic than anyone!”

  Mordette looked at her askance, “What exactly do you need to know?”

  A crafty look slid across Asphixia’s face. “It has come to my attention that a wish may be eaten. What would happen if I swallowed a worm who had eaten all of my dark wishes?”

  It should be said that at this point, Randy – who had till now been asleep in the Queen’s pocket – in a dark wish drunken stupor – Randy woke up quite completely.

  “A worm is just a worm till the transformation. It will do you no good.” Mordette cautioned, secretly wondering if there was a way to retrieve her distant relative. “Do you know if this worm has ever consumed human blood directly?”

  Inside the pocket, Randy knew he had not.

  “I think not.” The Blue Queen personally tended to her flock of worms, and none of them had looked like the sleeping worm in her pocket. Besides, most of them had turned when last she’d looked. This new worm had to have come from the new shipment which escaped after the debacle with the boy.

  Mordette reflected back on what she’d learned of the distinction between general magic and wishes. “Well, what do we know? Frey is built from the seeds of human imagination. We know a little of the human world, but they know nothing of us. Frey and its magic grew from those seeds.

  “But wishes are different. They’re pure human desire. They’re not mere imagination. A fuzzy-wiggle pops into existence whenever a human child desperately longs for what they’re told is impossible. Fuzzy-wiggles retain their sense of self even after they become wishes. Wishes are pure energy that mutate into nearly anything once bonded with their host.”

  Mordette frowned. “But dark wishes are the result of fuzzy-wiggles fed with human blood. They don’t remember who they are. They have no moral quibbles. Their host can use the energy as they wish. A dark wish always does exactly what you want – so you have to be careful with your words. You’d know better than I.”

  “But, will a worm that has consumed dark wishes, but not blood – turn into a dark wish? Will it obey my commands?”

  “I think if that worm has never tasted human blood, that worm may still show self-control,” reflected the Wish Monger.

  “Hmmm... I suppose I’ll have to remedy that. Well, Mordette, it has been lovely to chat!”

  The Blue Queen left a trail of rocky dust on the floor behind her. Despite the illusion of youth, Mordette knew that Asphixia was not aging well. Time was not on the Queen’s side and she was becoming more desperate.

  Mordette had to escape.

  * * * *

  As the queen strode down the hallway, Randy shivered uncontrollably inside of the Queen’s pocket.

  Chapter 34

  The Prisoner

  Jack stared in shock at the prisoner on the other side of the cell. He was human. The older man returned his gaze with a curious excitement. He would have been handsome – if not for the crazy glint in his eyes. The prisoner was dressed in rags – which seemed odd next to the clean shaven face. The ragged blond hair needed a good washing. There was a glowing blue metal donut locked about his neck. It didn’t look very comfortable.

  “Welcome ta my humble abode, young ‘un.”

  “You’re human.” Jack observed.

  “Well, I try ta be.” said the man. His jaw was limited in its movement by the neck device. His mumbling lips gave a sort of ventriloquist quality to the voice.

  Now that he found himself with an adult human, all the horrors of the last week rushed upon Jack. Tears sprang uninvited to his eyes. Jenny’s disappearance, losing Finn underground, being kidnapped by horrible creatures and waking up on a wall of half-dead kids! A gigantic, reptilian blue lady! He hadn’t a clue as to where he was or how he got here! He’d never felt so alone in his life. But maybe this adult would know what was going on.

  “That Doritte creature wants to cook and eat me?!” Jack asked.

  “Yup. That be pretty much the gist o’ it. I’m sure she be rustlin’ through her cookbooks now, afore she somehow misses d’opp’rtun’ty,” quipped the man as he eyed the boy in diapers.

  “This whole place is a loony bin.” Including this strange guy, Jack thought. He sank to a bench on the other side of the cell. It seemed best to keep a healthy distance from this man who was staring so intently at him.

  It was a large cell – dimly lit through the barred window. Prisoners must come in all sizes judging by the large cot on the back wall below the window. The wall behind Jack was rough rock, but the window wall, door wall, and the wall opposite wall (where the man was sitting) were mortared stonework like the rest of the castle. He wondered if there was a way to escape. Adventure books always had convenient loose bits of mortar and a secret passage.

  The man now was examining his long, dirty fingernails as he casually asked, “Does the Queen know you’re here?”

  Jack sighed. “Not exactly. Hopefully, she thinks I’m still in the cage in her bedroom.”

  “Ah, ya came in by one of de Queen’s traps? She got ‘em all over the human world ya know - ta get her young ’uns. She switches the kids out wi’ changelin’s so the parents don’t know the kids are missin’!”

  Jack reflected. “Changelings? Like in the old fairy stories? My little sister, Jenny went missing about a week ago. Didn’t see any changelings of her running around. My buddy, Finn, and I fell through... maybe the day before yesterday? Not sure. We hoped we’d find her, but then we got separated.”

  “Finn, ya say?” The man was suddenly more intent.

  “I’ve gotta find them – but, I don’t even know how to start looking for them – if I could even get out of here!” Jack ran his hands through his messy hair.

  “I been in this dungeon for more years n’ I can count. Don’t get yer hopes up. But, Frey’s a strange, magic place. If ya did find yar way out, thar always be ways ta find folk.” The man tapped his nose knowingly and winked at Jack.

  “Why are you here? Does the Queen bleed you too?”

  “Nah, she be ‘fraid a’ bleedin’ me. ” The man hesitated. “She’s got other notions fer keepin’ me.” He giggled.

  “What’s your name?” Questions tumbled out on top of each other. “And where am I! I don’t understand any of this!”

  “Whoa now. One query at a time. I – uh, I got many names. You could call me James. All my names be long ago and meaningless now. Another life. Once thar be a very imagin’tive young human in yar world who met a mermaid and they travel’d back ta her world. She were a princess of sorts, and her father dinna take ta him none at first – bein’ wit’out a tail ya see, but she were an obstinate sort and bit by bit her folks got used ta de notion of a man wit’out a fish tail. After a while, her father - who were the King o’ Frey – thought a man who walked ‘bout might be useful. A man wi’ legs could travel ‘round where the merfolk couldna’ go.”

  “Frey... But, how can merpeople be rulers of land if they can’t walk?” interrupted Jack.

  “The sea-folk dinna ask ta be the rulers. The land-folk asked ‘em fer the very reason of them bein’ impartial and not tied up in land squabbles. But, the king found it was useful to have a disint’rested footed person ta look inta those squabbles up close.” The man giggled.

  “So, that’s what you did? Traveled around for the king?” asked Jack.

  “It were too much fer jes’ one soul, so a helper was brought on – a bright feller – a phooka who could transform inta any creature like he might need ta be investi
gatin’, he even possessed other magic skills when they be needed. A phooka can never put a lie inta his words - bein’ a relative of the faerie folk - and that be useful fer givin’ testimony an’ such afore the king.”

  “Where is Frey? I still don’t understand where this is?” Jack felt impatient. Stories about mermaids were all very interesting, but he was starting to suspect that the man was a couple sandwiches short of a picnic. Clearly the guy was bonkers. Jack realized he was on his own again.

  “Frey won’t be on no human map – though ‘tis o’ human construction fer good or ill. Frey’s where yer imag’native ideas go when yer not usin’ ‘em. An’ that’s how de trouble started. Dere’d never been a human here afore. Creative type humans be especially dangerous here. Ideas grow inta real things like magic beans. James were de one who thought up de frit!”

  “The frit?”

  “Notions here are pow’ful things! The ground and de trees be pure ‘mag’nation.”

  “But what are the frit?” persisted Jack.

  “The Blue Queen be a frit. But, she dinna used ta exist! See, we traveled ‘bout on missions fer de King, and in de ev’nin’, James liked ta draw and make up stories – just ta pass de time innocent like. James be partic’lar good at makin’ up a good tale. But, one of James’ idees took root quicker than anythin’ and next thing ya’ know we got de frit under de mountains like dey always been der! Tee hee! Not ev’n de frit knew dey be jes’ born.”

  “So, I’m not clear – are you James or not?” interrupted Jack.

  “I used ta be James... perhaps. And I might be James now, but my memory be a bit shakey.”

  “Okay – so back to the frit, what is the frit?” Jack was feeling irritated with the strange man’s tittering.

  “A civil’zation o’ blue giants what sudd’nly appear’d under the North Mountains. Most-wise dey dinna bother us none, but one of ‘em decided she dinna much like livin’ underground!”

  “The Blue Queen.” Jack said.

  “Yessiree, the Blue Queen herself. She’d dabbled in magic and poisoned the waters in the Bay of mer’Rin ta get rid of the merfolk. But, she daren’t get rid o’ James as folks here nat’rally know’d their maker. If James were ta die, all the frits might disappear. He’s ta only human ta think o’ ‘em. James can’t die without mebbe dyin’ herself! Though she been hankerin’ ta try James’ blood on her worms... see if her creator’s blood might be something special powerful. But she’s afeared ta. So she keeps James here in her dungeon where she can keep an eye on him. She did her best ta get rid of folks ‘twould be close ta him. Ha!”

  “Okay...” Jack tried to assimilate all the new information.

  “Ohh hoo! But, I’m not him! An’ she don’t know! Tee hee!” Then he scratched his head. “Or maybe I am and I canna remember! Yoo hoo!”

  “What’s that blue collar around your neck?” asked Jack.

  The prisoner pulled at metal ring.

  “Annoyin’ ‘s what it is! I can’t do no magic with dis ‘round me neck! Irr’tatin’! James is good wi’ wishes! James can do ‘mazin’ things wi’ wishes. Ooooh hooo! James is magic! Yessiree he is! But can’t do no magic with dis here collar!”

  Jack interrupted the wild laugh. The man was clearly crazy. “But, how -”

  There was a sound in the corridor and the wild looking man jumped to his feet and ran to put his ear to the door.

  He hissed out “Hush! Not ‘nother word! ‘Tis the Queen. Hide!”

  Jack jumped up and after a quick look rolled under the big bed beneath the window and tried to not breathe in the accumulation of dust and ick. It smelled bad. The stone was cold against his bare body. He was amazed the cloth diaper with its one safety pin had stayed together as well as it had.

  It smelled seriously bad under the cot. Boy Scout latrine bad (Jack had once joined the Scouts for a long uncomfortable weekend).

  Meanwhile, James – or whoever he was – threw himself back on his bench in time as the large bronze lock rattled with the sound of a key.

  The vast door swung inward and Jack could see the big clawed feet, tail, and gauzy fabric of the Queen’s robes.

  “My dear James. You’re looking well.”

  Jack could hear the smile in her voice. It was nauseatingly sweet - like the last piece of chocolate after you’ve eaten the entire box.

  “I be honored by yer visit my good Queen.” said the man’s voice in an unexpected monotone.

  “Dear James, it is always our pleasure.” wheedled the sibilant voice of the Queen. “We need a little favor from you.”

  “Whate’er you desire me queen,” responded the glazed voice of the prisoner.

  Jack heard a sound of a knife being unsheathed, and a moment later squealed a quick gasp from the man.

  “Oh, don’t be such a baby in front of your Queen! We only took a small piece of you,” she chided. “It’s a special occasion, Daddy. We figured it had to be you. We neeeed it for an experiment.”

  The man was making some high moaning sounds while the Queen rustled around in her pocket.

  “Come here my fat little worm. We’ve some nice delicious blood for you. A bit of flesh too!” There was a squeak when she apparently grabbed what she was seeking. “Come now, We just need you to open up and try a tiny taste. Here comes the little birdie! Right towards your mouth!”

  Jack heard the Queen let loose with a hiss and a curse.

  “Oh, little wormsie-poo... Don’t you want to be part of our glorious changes to the world when you become a big wish? We need you to open up!!”

  There was a slight gagging and a sucking sound from a small creature as something was stuffed in its mouth.

  “There, that wasn’t so bad now was it? We want you to grow up big and strong, now don’t we?” The Blue Queen laughed. A white finger fell on the stone and bounced under the bed and hit Jack on the face. He stifled a scream.

  “Wasteful! That finger was a little dirty, but we would’ve eaten it!” A moment passed and Jack held his breath. “Ten-second-rule says we could... but, shouldn’t spoil our appetite. Daddy should eat it! It’s his after all.” Jack could hear her laugh as if she’d just shared an intimate joke. “Now, we’ve a most delicious little boy upstairs to help our worm get big and fat. It will be such a treat. And we’re going to have the most sumptuous feast in the castle tomorrow night. Too bad you can’t attend, James.”

  Jack was exhausted, freaked out, and numb. The giant feet disappeared and the great door shut tight.

  The Queen’s voice echoed in the corridor beyond it. “Oh, guardy-poo! We need to get some oil on that door! Our prisoners shouldn’t have to listen to that horrible screeching...” Her voice receded.

  Jack inched his way out from under the cot, stood, and tried to brush the dirt off his mostly naked body. At the moment the grungy white diaper was the least of his worries.

  On the bench, the man rocked silently back and forth holding his bloody hand to his chest and sobbing in silent heaves.

  “We need to get out of here.” Jack was trying to keep his wits, but what does one say to a guy who just had his finger chopped off. “Should I get your finger for you? It fell under the bed.”

  The man still rocked silently. He looked at Jack with the blank expression of a man with no wits left.

  Jack got back down on his knees and looked under the bed. Beyond the finger, there was a hole in the rock floor. Not a big hole. Maybe eighteen inches round? And above the hole he realized that there was a corresponding hole in the cot - with a lid. He realized it wasn’t a bed. It was a latrine for very big creatures. That’s why it smelled so bad under there. It was a good thing he hadn’t rolled all the way to the back. He’d have stuck his feet or worse in the hole!

  But, now he saw a small dark shape climbing out of the pit.

  Yick! It was some disgusting creature that lives in the
latrine!

  “Pssst” it whispered. “Jack!”

  “Bilbe!” Jack smiled in relief.

  “We’re here ta rescue ye,” announced Bilbe.

  A hushed squeaky voice hissed from down the hole. “Bil! Is that Jack?”

  “We found him alright!” He whispered back down the hole. Lil! Stay there! We’ll be right down.”

  “Will I fit?” hesitated Jack.

  “Ah, sure ya’ll fit. If ya kin stand the smell, ya’ll fit. An’ it’s jest a little ways. There be an air vent a wee bit down.”

  “But my friend won’t fit! He’s too big and I can’t leave him here.” He took a peek back towards the prisoner who was rocking back and forth on his bench and unaware of anything but his pain.

  Bilbe or Bil(?) lowered his voice. “This be the only way yer gonna get out o’ here. We asked the rodent.”

  Jack looked back at the prisoner. He decided to not be squeamish. He grabbed the pale finger and placed the detached digit beside the man on the bench.

  “Here! Maybe we can fix it? I don’t know, but I’ll be back for you. I promise!”

  With that he ran back to the cot, tightened his diaper pin and crawled underneath. With Bilbe’s guidance, he nervously dropped his legs into the slimy hole and squeezed his body into the enveloping stench of the dungeon sewer system.

  Chapter 35

  Changeling

  Hearts

  Millie agreed to meet Not-Finn and Not-Jack after school at three o’clock on Friday at Edgewater Park – which was across the river from downtown Mount Vernon. She wanted someplace public, but a good distance from home. None of them wanted Not-Jenny there.

  Seven year old Not-Jenny couldn’t go far without Mrs. Saunders stepping in. Not-Jenny found this extremely frustrating and for some reason was spending a lot of time by herself in the cellar.

  The boys were sitting on the edge of the outdoor stage when Millie got there. There was a metal roof above to keep rain off of performers, but it wasn’t a problem today. It was a perfect day with bright blue sky and white puffy clouds. But the boys sat in the shade. She’d noticed that they avoided the sun whenever they could.