Heart of Mine

by Lindsay Bergman

  “There are hundreds of people on the palace staff alone and many of them love to spread gossip.” His grip on my arms tightened briefly, and I could see the hard protective glint in his eyes. “What do you think that will do to your reputation?”

  “I’m not a princess,” I whispered. “No one in Coradova will care about my reputation.”

  “I care about your reputation,” Alexander murmured. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  His concern for me touched my heart and I felt my anger begin to dissipate. For a moment, I was lost in the dark blue eyes that watched me with tender sincerity. We’d been at odds for several weeks now, and I hated the distance that had grown between us. I missed him, and I missed his friendship.

  Wanting to fix the break between us, I whispered, “I’m sorry, Alex.”

  His expression softened, and I could have sworn I saw regret in his eyes. “I’m sorry too, Maddy.” He held my gaze for a moment longer before abruptly letting go and shifting his eyes briefly to Ethan. “I shouldn’t have interrupted. Please excuse me.”

  As I watched him walk away, I felt a twinge of remorse prick my heart. Something had changed between us, and I didn’t know if we’d ever be able to get back to what we’d once had.

  Ethan and I spent the remainder of the evening together, but I was reluctant to let him try to kiss me again. For some reason, I couldn’t get Alexander’s expression out of my head. Had he been that upset because he was being over-protective, or was Alexander jealous because he was developing feelings for me? Unable to find any answers, I forced the thoughts from my head.

  It wasn’t until later that night when I realized Alexander hadn’t had any fishing gear with him.

  Chapter Seven

  On a cool October night, the Royal Family celebrated His Royal Highness, Prince Ashton’s seventeenth birthday in style by inviting three hundred guests to the palace for a grand party.

  The lavish ballroom was two stories high, in shades of soft gold and white, with parquet flooring and a diamond patterned coffered ceiling. A golden light spilled across the dance floor from the four crystal chandeliers that dangled overhead. Along the back wall, two sets of French doors opened out to the palace garden, letting in wafts of the salty sea air.

  Several songs had come and gone as I stood near the ballroom entrance, waiting for Ethan to arrive. He was over an hour late and I was struggling not to tap my foot in impatience. Normally, I would have been socializing around the room, but since it was Ethan’s first party in the palace, I wanted to be there when he arrived.

  We’d gone on several dates over the last few months, but weren’t an official couple. For reasons I didn’t want to admit, I hadn’t been able to make that final commitment.

  Dressed in a sharp black tux—and looking more appealing than anyone had a right to—Alexander sauntered over to me with his charming, debonair smile in place. A group of dolled-up girls passed by, but for once, Alexander seemed to only have eyes for me.

  “Still waiting for Ethan?” Alexander asked when he reached my side.

  I nodded, feeling unusually shy. We’d been tiptoeing around each other since he’d interrupted my near kiss with Ethan four months ago.

  Alexander held out a hand and smiled. “Would you like to dance with me while you wait?”

  I hesitated and stared at his offered hand. It’s not like I hadn’t danced with him nearly a hundred times before … but now, I didn’t know if my crazy roller coaster of feelings could handle it. To be held close in his arms, twirling around the dance floor as if we were the only two people in the room. Would dancing with Alexander be a mistake?

  A moment later, I slipped my hand into his and looked up to meet his eyes. To hell with the consequences. I’d never been one to back down. If my heart suddenly went haywire while dancing with Alexander, then I’d know for sure that I’d officially developed romantic feelings for him. And maybe then I could figure out if he was feeling it, too.

  Alexander smiled as he drew me out onto the dance floor and held me only as close as propriety dictated. Even though just our arms were touching, my skin suddenly felt alive, and sparking like a hot wire.

  While we waited for the dance to start, his gaze drifted briefly over my dress of stormy blue satin before coming to rest on my blushing face. “You look beautiful, dolcezza.”

  His compliment nearly made me melt. “Thank you, Alex.”

  Alexander flashed a crooked smile, his eyes warm and blue as the sea, and more inviting than I’d ever seen them. While I was lost in his eyes, he began to move us to the beat of the music.

  I barely noticed the other dancers. Alexander’s warm gaze was absolutely hypnotic. If it hadn’t been instinctual, I would have forgotten how to breathe.

  With his eyes locked on mine, Alexander spun us around the dance floor until it felt like we were swept up in a tornado of yearning so thick that it was nearly tangible. Spinning and spinning … lost in the moment. Lost in each other.

  When the song ended, we moved to stand at the edge of the dance floor. Still holding my hand in his, Alexander stared down at me in a heated silence. Did he feel it, too? Could he see the longing that was pulsing through me?

  As the next song began, Alexander gestured toward the dance floor. “Would you like another dance?” Hope stirred within my heart at his offer. Normally, Alexander spread his dance card out among the various women attending the party. The fact that he was offering me another dance spoke volumes.

  “Hey, Maddy,” Ethan announced suddenly from behind my shoulder.

  Alexander immediately let go of my hand, breaking the connection I could have sworn was growing between us.

  Struggling to hide my disappointment, I turned to face Ethan. “Hey. I’m glad you made it.”

  “Sorry I’m so late.” Ethan’s gaze flickered over to Alexander as he lowered into a formal bow. “Your Royal Highness.”

  “Ethan.” Alexander acknowledged him with a slight nod.

  An awkward silence settled over us. No one seemed to know what to say. As we watched the various couples making their way onto the dance floor, the tension continued to mount.

  Finally, Ethan spoke. “Would you like to dance, Maddy?”

  “Oh, um … Alex just asked me, actually …” I stole a glance at Alexander, waiting to see what he would do.

  He briefly met my gaze. Emotion flickered in his eyes, but I couldn’t place it. When he looked away, my disappointment deepened.

  With an air of nonchalance, Alexander said, “I’ve already stolen her for one dance. This one’s all yours, Ethan.”

  Feeling crushed, I forced a smile for Ethan, but refused to look at Alexander, unwilling to let him see the hurt his words had caused. I guess every emotion I’d felt during our dance had all been one-sided.

  “Let’s dance, Maddy.” Ethan took my hand and led me away.

  From the center of the dance floor, I peeked over his shoulder to meet Alexander’s gaze. He watched me for a long moment before shifting his attention to a spot across the room. When I caught sight of him next, it was with a leggy blond hanging from his arm as they sauntered through the doors leading out into the garden.

  The pain in my chest was nearly overwhelming. I’d never known my heart could feel so … devastated. I spent the next few hours with Ethan, talking and laughing, and repeatedly twirling around the dance floor. I always enjoyed my time with him, but I couldn’t seem to stop my thoughts from wandering to Alexander.

  In the hallway outside the ballroom, Ethan quietly commented, “You seem distracted tonight.”

  My eyes darted to his face as a chagrined blush heated my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I don’t mean to be.”

  “It’s because of Alexander, isn’t it?”

  I bit my lip, wanting to deny it, but unwilling to lie to him. Instead, I shrugged my shoulders helplessly.

  Ethan sighed and crossed his arms. “I should have seen this coming. You’ve always said that Alexander was like your big b
rother, but lately, things have seemed … different.”

  Mortified that he’d been able to see the changes, I apologized again. “I’m sorry, Ethan. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Do you love him?”

  His question gave me pause. I searched my heart for an honest answer. “I don’t know what I feel for him. But it’s—it’s not what it used to be.”

  “He’s not just your friend anymore.” Ethan sighed again and sent me a rueful look. “I get it, Maddy. You’re confused.”

  “You have no idea,” I admitted in a harsh whisper.

  “If you need me to step back, I will. I’m not—I don’t want to date someone who might be in love with someone else.”

  I looked up into soft brown eyes filled with dejection. “I don’t want to do that to you, either. The truth is, I don’t know what I want right now.”

  Wandering through the crowds a half-hour later, I noticed that Ashton’s friends kept snickering and shooting admiring looks my way. I rolled my eyes and ignored them as I walked past their group. Ethan had left the party after offering to give me time to sort through my feelings. Now, I wandered aimlessly around the ballroom, trying to figure out what—or who—I really wanted.

  The cool fall breeze blew in through an open set of French doors, making the long skirt of my pink dress billow around my calves. The boys whistled appreciatively and when I frowned at them I saw a tall red-head elbow Ashton. Their laughter drowned out whatever he said to the prince.

  “No way! She’s like my sister,” Ashton exclaimed, red-faced.

  I ventured out into the garden, feeling a twinge of empathy. Since I’d turned seventeen three months ago, my friends at school kept asking if I was in love with one of the princes. I repeatedly explained that Alexander and Ashton were like my brothers—although that was no longer exactly true of Alexander.

  I took a deep inhale of the fresh air, loving the mixed scent of salty sea and rose petals. Alexander had disappeared out into the garden a while ago, so I wandered down a random path in search of him. I moved quickly down the patio steps and over the glazed decorative tiles set in a lively mosaic. Wandering down a gravel pathway, I passed by clay pots brimming with greenery and vibrant flowers, the succulents a tranquil palette of cool pastels. Surrounded by this beautiful exotic garden, I felt relaxed and peaceful, and slowed to a leisurely stroll.

  As I walked deeper into the garden I realized that someone was following me. I glanced over my shoulder, expecting to see Alexander, but was surprised to meet the brown eyes of the tall red-head instead.

  “Hello, Maddy,” he said with a smile. “I’m William. I saw you inside the ballroom.” He drew closer, and looked at me with such intensity that it made me nervous. “You’re very pretty. Ashton says you’re like his sister, but what about Alexander?”

  I didn’t like what he was suggesting and frowned at him indignantly. “They’re both very protective of me so you need to be careful.”

  William stopped in front of me, standing way too close, and glanced over his shoulder. We were next to a three-tiered fountain with trickling water, centered amidst a simple layout of clipped hedges. William was blocking my way down the pathway and turned back to me with a wicked grin. There wasn’t another person in sight.

  “Well, they’re not here now,” William drawled. “If you don’t have a thing for royalty, then why don’t you give me a kiss?”

  “No, thank you. I’m not interested.” I took a step back and tried to appear arrogant instead of afraid, but William wasn’t deterred.

  “Oh, come on. Just one kiss.” He grabbed my arm, holding me in place. Between his tight grip and the tall hedges at my back I couldn’t move away.

  “No,” I said sternly, beginning to panic. “Don’t touch me!”

  “It’s just a kiss, Maddy,” William said, lowering his head toward me. I struggled to get away and shoved against his chest with my free hand. William flew back, tripping over a bench and landing in the bushes.

  I stared in shock for a moment before I caught sight of the angry prince stalking toward him. Alexander reached down to grab William by the jacket and roughly hauled him to his feet. William was tall, but Alexander was taller. The prince towered a good four inches above him and his livid expression was quite frightening.

  “You need to leave right now,” Alexander warned. “And don’t ever touch her again.” William nodded briskly and fled back down the pathway without a second glance.

  The prince crossed over to me in a heartbeat and quickly scanned me for harm, his blue eyes blazing with concern. “Are you all right, Maddy? Did he hurt you?”

  “I’m fine, Alex. He just scared me.”

  Alexander sighed in relief, then yanked me into his arms and crushed me against his chest. I clung to him, savoring his closeness, and the safety I felt in the circle of his arms. His grip was fierce, with one hand on my back and the other resting against the back of my head, holding me to him. Closing my eyes on a sigh, I snuggled deeper into him and accidentally brushed my nose along the skin of his throat.

  His body tensed, arms tightening around me as he inhaled sharply. He eased me back so he could look down into my face. Our eyes met. With only inches separating us, Alexander continued to hold me as he searched my eyes, his gaze intense. My every breath was heavy, and thick with longing.

  With his eyes still locked on mine, Alexander leaned in closer. My lungs seized, breath caught in anticipation. For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me—until he abruptly pulled away and released me as if he’d been burned.

  Averting his eyes, Alexander cleared his throat and asked brusquely, “What were you doing out here by yourself? And where’s Ethan?”

  Caught up in my disappointment, it took a minute to find my voice. “He left already. I was out here looking for you.” I noticed that Alexander’s hair was unusually disheveled. “What were you doing out here?”

  The tips of his ears turned red and he cleared his throat again, looking away abruptly. But not before I saw his gaze pause on the hedges behind us.

  A surge of jealousy shot through me and my teeth snapped together. “Were you kissing another girl behind the hedges?”

  He shifted uncomfortably and scowled at me. “Come on, little trouble maker,” Alexander muttered, tucking my hand through his arm and leading me down the pathway. He shot an irritated glare at me. “I’d better not catch you out here with anyone else. I’m getting tired of walking in on you kissing a bunch of guys.”

  “It was only two guys,” I said defensively, and snatched my hand back from his grasp. “And you’re being over-protective for nothing. I’ve never kissed anyone—not even Ethan.”

  We were almost to the doors when Alexander stopped and turned to look at me. “Ethan hasn’t you kissed yet?” His expression was arrogantly pleased. “You’ve been dating him for months. What’s he waiting for—an invitation?”

  I bristled slightly. “That’s personal.” Although Ethan was more than eager to take that next step, I’d been reluctant, and had asked him to take it slow—but I didn’t want Alexander to know that.

  Studying my face, Alexander asked, “Why are you even dating him if he’s too afraid to kiss you?”

  “He’s not afraid to kiss me.” I scowled and stabbed a finger at his chest. “Stop making him sound like a wimp.”

  “Then what’s his problem?” Alexander smirked, looking like he was enjoying this particular conversation way too much.

  I crossed my arms and leveled a haughty look at him. “That’s none of your business, Alexander.”

  “Whatever you say, Maddy.” Hiding a smile, Alexander slipped his hands into his pockets and regarded me soberly. “But I still don’t understand why you’d want to date him if he can’t man-up and kiss you.”

  “There’s more to a relationship than kissing.”

  Alexander grinned seductively. “But kissing is the best part.” The heat in his eyes made my stomach flutter—until I remembered the long string of
girls he’d snuck out into the garden over the years.

  My scowl deepened as I muttered, “Yeah, and you’re a real kissing expert, Prince Charming.”

  “You sound a little jealous, Maddy.”

  “I’m not jealous!” I ignored his teasing smirk and searched for an excuse for my obvious irritation. “I’m just mad because you ruined our first kiss by the pond. Now Ethan’s always weird around you.”

  Alexander’s grin widened. “Is that Ethan’s problem? Is he worried you’ll compare him to me? Your … Prince Charming?”

  Before I could respond to his ridiculous assumption, a gorgeous girl with curly black hair sauntered by, with her eyes centered on Alexander in admiration. The dazzling smile he sent her in return made my heart churn painfully.

  As the girl continued on into the garden, I whispered, “You’re not my Prince Charming. All guys are nothing but frogs.” In a huff, I tried to shove past him but tripped over my heels instead.

  Alexander caught me before I could fall on my face, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist. I braced my hands against his chest to push him away, but couldn’t seem to stop my fingers from curling around the lapels of his black tux in a firm grip. All too aware of how closely he was holding me again, I looked up into his face, feeling breathless.

  His intense blue eyes met mine, blazing with emotion. “You’re wrong, you know. Not all of us are frogs, dolcezza.”

  My heart fluttered at the sound of my nickname on his lips—and the warm look in his eyes.

  Still holding me close, Alexander’s smoldering gaze drifted down to my mouth. I could feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath my palm and my own pulse quickened in response.

  My words were a ragged whisper. “Alex, what’s happening to us?”

  His grip on me tightened as he tore his eyes away from my mouth and looked up to meet my gaze. He stared into my eyes for a long, breathless moment before he slowly released me and took a careful step back. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I don’t know. But I’m sorry. ” He turned away without waiting for a response.