Heart of Mine

by Lindsay Bergman

  “You look gorgeous tonight.” With a charming smile, he brought my hand up to his lips.

  Blushing, I looked away to find Alexander’s gaze fixed on us. His eyes held mine for a long moment before he started moving in our direction. Tearing my eyes away from the prince, I abruptly turned back toward Ethan and tried to remember to be polite. I might have been in love with Alexander, but Ethan was still my friend and I’d hurt him too many times already. “So Ethan, when does first semester start?”

  “In September. You’re going to that university in Montana, right?”

  I nodded, smiling sadly. “Yeah, but I wish we didn’t have to move.”

  “Me too.” Ethan softly rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand.

  I was uncomfortable with his show of affection, though I didn’t know how to inconspicuously pull my hand away without hurting his feelings. He knew that my friendship with Alexander had changed, and after I’d told him about my impending move, he’d conceded that a relationship between us would be impossible.

  “I’m going to miss you—” Ethan’s words cut off abruptly when the prince suddenly appeared beside us.

  “Pardon,” Alexander said, although he didn’t sound apologetic. Practically ignoring Ethan, he smiled so warmly at me that I couldn’t help but grin radiantly in return.

  Ethan cleared his throat and gave a respectful bow. “Your Royal Highness.”

  Alexander flicked a glance at him. I knew his well-bred manners were forcing him to be polite. “How are you enjoying the party, Ethan?” His tone was a bit brisk. The tension between them had only continued to mount over the last several months—I was lucky they could even tolerate being in the same room.

  “It’s been great so far,” Ethan replied. With a competitive gleam in his eyes, he turned his warm butterscotch gaze on me. “Maddy is always the best company.” He brought the hand he was still holding up to his mouth for another kiss, making me blush furiously in embarrassment.

  I looked over in time to see Alexander’s gaze dart to our joined hands. A crease appeared between his brow. When Ethan released me a moment later, I hid my hands behind my back. I didn’t want either of them to get the wrong impression.

  Alexander’s gaze drifted back up to mine, and his frown softened as he offered me his hand. “Maddy, may I have this dance?”

  As if I could ever say no to him. I placed my hand in his and smiled. “Yes, Alex.”

  He grinned and kissed my fingers, keeping his eyes on mine, his lips lingering longer than necessary—almost like he was trying to kiss away the memory of Ethan’s touch. Well, it was definitely working.

  With his gaze centered solely on me, Alexander said, “Please excuse us, Ethan.” Then he twirled me away without waiting for a response.

  We whirled out onto the dance floor, effortlessly keeping pace with the couples around us. Alexander held me close, our bodies not quite touching. His attention to propriety was flawless, as always.

  “You look beautiful, dolcezza.”

  “Thank you, Alex.” I smiled at him, barely even blushing this time.

  Since that night out on the lawn, he’d made a point of telling me I was beautiful nearly every time we were together.

  His answering smile was amused. “It’s cute when you blush.”

  I blushed even more, making him laugh in response. Then his expression suddenly grew serious. “I can’t believe you’re moving in two weeks. What will I do without my stunning dance partner?”

  “You’ll find a new stunning dance partner,” I muttered, frowning at the beautiful girls watching us from the crowd. “You are Prince Charming, after all.”

  At only twenty-years-old, Prince Alexander was the most desired bachelor in Coradova. Not only because he was the heir, but also because he was devastatingly handsome. He literally had his pick of any girl in the room.

  As the song drew to an end, Alexander gently clasped my chin in one hand and turned my face back to his. He waited until our eyes met, then smiled softly. “None as beautiful as you, bellissima. You have no idea how much I’m going to miss you, Maddy.”

  Though we were surrounded by hundreds of people, he was looking at me like I was the only person in the room.

  My heart melted inside my chest. “I’m going to miss you too, Alex.”

  Our eyes held for a moment longer before we moved apart and headed off the dance floor.

  “Will you take a walk with me?” Alexander offered his arm, along with a grin.

  I nodded, smiling with pleasure as I tucked my hand through his elbow. He led me through the crowd, passing various young noblewomen who glared at me with envy. For once, I was floating on a cloud because he’d barely even glanced at any of them.

  Whenever we were together lately, Alexander had been giving me his undivided attention. I didn’t know if it was because I was leaving soon, or his feelings had grown as strong as mine—but no matter what had caused the change, I had enjoyed every single minute of it.

  We passed through the French doors leading out into the exotic palace garden. There were bright flowers everywhere, with twinkling lights in the bushes and trees that added to the romantic ambience. Several couples were walking along the gravel pathways or sitting on benches, more focused on each other than the scenery.

  We were silent as we walked farther into the garden. Alexander eventually stopped next to the lilacs blossoming in various shades of purple. My favorite flower. I peeked at him, wondering if he had picked this spot for that very reason, and caught his eyes on my face.

  Alexander watched me for a long, quiet moment. I wondered what he was thinking—and not for the first time. Ever since last summer, he would sometimes watch me with blue eyes so intense that it felt like he could see through to my soul. Then he would smile and make a joke to lighten the mood, though I always felt like there was something more he had wanted to say.

  He frowned suddenly, irritation flashing in his eyes.

  “What’s wrong, Alex?”

  He sighed and looked out across the garden. “My father had another one of his talks with me this morning.”

  “About making sacrifices?” I verified.

  Alexander nodded briskly. “He went on about my duty to the crown for nearly two hours.” He lapsed into a brief tirade, pacing across the pathway in obvious agitation as he explained the various comments his father had made. When he was finished, he turned to face me with a solemn expression.

  “I’m sorry it’s been so tough for you lately,” I said gently, reaching for his hand.

  A small smile tugged at his lips. “Thanks for always listening to me complain about this stuff, dolcezza.” He looked down at our joined hands for a long moment and traced his thumb over my knuckles. “You’re the only person I can ever confide in.” He grimaced slightly. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

  When he looked back up at me, the pain in his eyes nearly broke my heart.

  “Oh, Alex …” I heard the sound of music drifting softly along the wind and latched on to the opportunity for a distraction. “Hey, you like this song, right? Will you dance with me again?”

  Alexander smiled and silently drew me into his arms for another dance. He held me closer than he had in the ballroom, so close that I could feel his heartbeat thundering in sync with mine. We kept dancing even after the music had ended, but when the next familiar song started playing Alexander paused.

  It was our song. The Last Waltz.

  The first song we had danced to when I was seven-years-old, attending my first royal event in the palace. It was a lovely classical song, perfect for a slow waltz and uncoordinated dancers like myself. It had become our song by simple coincidence. During my first few years in Coradova, The Last Waltz had always seemed to play while we were dancing together, and after the fifth time, Alexander had joked that it was meant to be our song. From then on, it was.

  With the familiar melody swirling around us, I watched as Alexander’s eyes changed into a dark, smoldering blue.
My heart rate picked up speed.

  “Dolcezza ...” He hesitated, his expression torn. His body trembled as if he were fighting for control. We’d been dancing around this moment for weeks now—it was only inevitable that we would fall over the edge.

  Longing for him swept through me, strong enough that I was certain he could see it on my face. Without thinking, I moved infinitesimally closer and prayed that he would kiss me.

  His hold on me tightened as he gazed directly into my eyes. “Screw the consequences,” Alexander muttered suddenly and lowered his head.

  He brushed his lips softly against mine at first, just the mere whisper of a kiss. I melted into him with a sigh, reveling in his warmth and every long-awaited touch. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer. Whispering my name, Alexander pulled me snug against him and deepened the kiss.

  It was better than I ever could have imagined.

  The sensations swirling through me were overpowering, and my heart was pounding so fiercely that I thought it might beat right out of my chest. When Alexander tried to move back, I held him firmly in place.

  “No, not yet,” I murmured against his lips, not ready to let him go. I had waited over a year for this moment, for our first kiss.

  He chuckled, then gathered me closer into his arms and kissed me with a passion that matched mine and nearly sent me into a tailspin. When I finally loosened my grip, Alexander shot me an amused smile and took a step back, keeping hold of my hand. Our gazes locked, searing emotion burning just beneath the surface.

  Feeling emboldened by his passionate kiss and the warm look in his eyes, I took a chance and confessed what was in my heart. “I’m in love with you, Alex.”

  But Alexander froze instead of declaring his own love.

  I was mortified by his sudden withdrawal, and my face burned as I waited impatiently for his reply.

  “Madison ...” Alexander hesitated, his eyes wary. Then he let go of my hand and took a step back. I watched as his face settled into an expressionless mask that I recognized all too well.

  It was the blank mask he used to hide his emotions, usually whenever he wore the invisible crown of his birthright. I was one of the few people Alexander allowed to see past that mask, to the heart of the person underneath, and I hated that he was using it on me right now. The distance that was suddenly between us hurt almost as much as his rejection.

  “Stop looking at me like that, Alexander,” I snapped. “Don’t shut me out and pretend like you don’t care when we both know that you do. You might not be in love with me, but I know you care about me.”

  Emotion flickered in his eyes as his distant façade cracked. “Of course I care about you, Madison. Don’t be ridiculous,” he muttered, roughly loosening his bowtie and collar with a frustrated sigh. “That’s the problem. I care too much and I’m afraid of hurting you.”

  I blinked at him. “How can caring too much hurt me?”

  “Because I care much more than I should, and it’s not nearly enough,” he said cryptically, with a stubborn set to his jaw.

  “What does that mean?” I demanded, but Alexander shook his head and refused to explain further. “Alexander—”

  “Maddy,” he interrupted, his voice filled with warning. “We can’t do this. I shouldn't have kissed you. I care about you, but it’s just not enough. This was a mistake.”

  I stiffened and felt an indignant fury sweep through me. My words were hard and clipped. “I’m just a mistake?”

  Alexander winced. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then what did you mean, Alexander?” My anger mingled with heartache, making the pain of his rejection much more acute. “You just kissed me and then told me I was a mistake because I’m not good enough for you.”

  “Madison, I never said that.” He frowned, then cursed in Italian and dragged a hand through his black hair, all the while glaring daggers at me.

  As a prince, Alexander had spent his life learning how to control his emotions. It was rare for him to completely lose his temper. I recognized the warning signs of his growing anger and should have known better than to bait him when he was this upset, but my bruised heart wouldn’t listen to reason.

  “Then why else would it be a mistake to kiss me?” I demanded, stepping closer. “I know you feel something for me.”

  “Maddy, don’t,” Alexander warned, but I ignored him.

  I crossed the last few inches that were separating us and searched his face for some sign of his true feelings. He was very carefully hiding behind his mask. Alexander stared at me with his arms crossed and blue eyes blazing, and though I could sense the whirlwind of emotion beneath the surface, I saw no sign of his usual warmth.

  I’d thought he felt something special for me, but a sudden twinge of uncertainty pierced my chest. “Alex, please tell me I’m not like all the other girls you’ve kissed behind the hedges,” I whispered, feeling my chest tighten at the thought.

  Alexander grimaced, but didn’t bother to deny it. “Maddy,” he said, his voice ragged. He reached out a hand as if to touch me, then paused. Indecision flashed in his eyes. A second later, he dropped his hand. The regret on his face was unmistakable.

  I guess I really was just like all the other girls he’d kissed, I thought sadly. Only a conquest. A single tear slipped down my cheek. Alexander saw it before I could wipe it away.

  With a curse, he yanked me into his arms and crushed me against his chest. “Dolcezza, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know you don’t understand, but I can’t—” His words cut off when we heard the sound of footsteps mere seconds before a girl spoke from behind us.

  “There you are, mon chéri.”

  Alexander tensed, and I jumped out of his embrace as if I’d been electrocuted. The girl moving toward us was stunning, with golden hair and a crimson dress that showed off her long legs. She was more woman than girl, really, with a flirtatious smile and seductive hazel eyes that were fixed on Alexander. I recognized her at once.

  Marie Delacroix. The gorgeous and curvy future Duchess that every guy in Coradova drooled over. I was more than aware that Alexander had dated different girls since he’d turned sixteen, but I’d never seen him with Marie. By the intimate way she touched his arm and the flush I could see on his face, I knew something was going on between them.

  Suddenly, all the pieces clicked together. Alexander had kissed me, but it was clear that I was nothing special compared to the stunning young noblewoman plastered to his side. It was no wonder kissing me had been such a mistake.

  “You promised me a dance, Alexander,” Marie purred, trailing her fingers down his arm suggestively.

  He must have recognized the betrayal on my face because he pulled out of Marie’s grasp. “We need a minute, Marie.” Before I could protest, Alexander grabbed my elbow and steered me a few feet away. “It’s not what you think, Maddy.”

  “Isn’t it?” I snapped, tugging my arm loose. “You kissed me, but then realized it was a mistake because I’m not good enough for a prince. Not like the gorgeous Lady Marie Delacroix.”

  “Stop saying that,” Alexander growled. His temper was threatening to explode. He towered over me with controlled fury radiating from his body. “This has nothing to do with you being good enough for me. You don’t understand—”

  We were interrupted yet again, but this time by the youngest prince of Coradova. “Pardon.” Ashton was standing on the pathway beside Marie, his expression apologetic. His gaze flickered over me, intuitively recognizing the situation he had walked in on, before coming to rest on his brother. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” He strolled closer, surreptitiously moving between us before coming to a stop at my side. “Lord Rousseau has arrived and Father wanted you to greet him. I’m sorry if this is bad timing.”

  Alexander glowered at Ashton. His voice was clipped with impatience. “I’ll be there soon. I need a minute alone with Maddy.”

  “That’s not necessary, Your Highness,” I interrupted. “There’
s nothing left for us to say. Please excuse me.” I brushed past them and refused to look at Marie as I stormed down the pathway. I didn’t get far.

  A hand firmly gripped my elbow and spun me around. I looked up into Alexander’s dark blue gaze. Drawn up to his full height, he was incredibly tall, and the powerful frame of his body was intimidating.

  Undaunted, I glared back with a defiant tilt of my chin. “Let me go, Alex.”

  “Not until we're done with our conversation.” His tone was commanding and the look he sent me brooked no argument. As a prince, he was used to getting his way. Unfortunately for Alexander, I was one of the few people in Coradova who would ever dare to defy him.

  “We are done,” I replied.

  Alexander’s retort was muffled by the sudden ruckus coming from behind the nearby trees. Preceded by snorts of laughter, a group of young men wandered into view. Their eyes flickered over us and one of them even had the audacity to shoot me a come-hither smile. Did he not recognize the angry prince towering over me?

  Alexander stiffened. His expression darkened as he took a protective step closer to me. They seemed deterred by the prince’s scowl and wisely continued on their way.

  The look Alexander turned back on me was fierce. “You are not going to wander through this garden all alone.”

  “I can take care of myself, Alexander.”

  “Don’t you remember what happened with William? What are you going to do if you get cornered by a bunch of overeager boys who want to steal more than just a kiss?”

  “I doubt it will hurt worse than the kiss you just stole before telling me that I was a mistake!” My voice was thick with bitterness and Alexander frowned at me in response.

  Anger raged in his eyes as he struggled to control his temper, then his mask suddenly slammed down into place. He called out to his brother, “Ashton, will you take Maddy back to the ballroom? I don’t want her to get into trouble.” He shot me a dark look, then handed me off to Ashton.

  The youngest prince tucked my hand through his arm and carefully held me in place when I would have been more than happy to bolt. “Of course, Alex,” Ashton said with a nod, before murmuring to me, “Let’s go, Maddy.”