Heart of Mine

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Heart of Mine Page 8

by Lindsay Bergman


  When we finally moved apart, Alexander kept hold of my hand and softly traced my fingers with his thumb. “I’ll always care about you, dolcezza. No matter what happens between us, that will never change.”

  We spent the next few hours in the garden, dancing more than once under the stars, laughing and talking with familiar camaraderie. I deeply enjoyed the last of our time together, but throughout the night I struggled not to confuse the fond look in his eyes for love.

  Shortly after midnight, Alexander walked me to the guest room I shared with Mackenzie and kissed my hand with a gentlemanly bow. His eyes explored my face, as if memorizing every feature. He said a quiet goodbye before he reluctantly turned and walked away.

  “Hey, Alex,” I called out a moment later.

  He paused at the end of the hallway and turned to look at me.

  “Don’t forget me, okay?”

  Alexander smiled tenderly. “Never. You’re unforgettable, dolcezza.” He winked and continued on down the hall.

  I leaned against the doorway, watching long after he had disappeared from view. I sighed, my thoughts bittersweet. Tonight, it had felt like Alexander loved me. And that would have to be enough, since tonight was all I could ever have with him. Just this one, precious night.

  Chapter Eleven

  Three years later …

  We were in the final stretch of our flight. I peered out the window at the landscape flying by beneath us, admiring the waving trees and rolling emerald hills of Coradova. The sea glistened off the coastline in crashing waves of blue and white. Bursts of colorful flowers were scattered across the island, beautiful and eye-catching. A luscious Mediterranean paradise.

  I couldn't believe it had been so long since I'd last visited this lovely country. But then again, I had avoided nearly every opportunity to visit over the last three years in my pitiful attempt to avoid a certain prince. With a resigned sigh, I let my mind wander over the memories of my last visit to Coradova.

  After we’d moved, it was another six months before I saw Alexander over the holidays. We tried to go back to being friends, but it was difficult when all I wanted was to be held close in his arms. Alexander seemed to be struggling with the same issues. Sometimes he would smile or look at me in a way that made my heart pound, and we were both forced to abruptly walk away more than once. By the time our visit was over, I was worn out from the constant effort it had taken to keep my distance, and my fragile heart felt bruised.

  After that, I knew I could no longer handle being near him, so I kept coming up with excuses not to visit Coradova again, hoping that in time my heart would stop longing for him. Over the following two-and-a-half years, our friendship held on by the thin thread of phone calls and text messages alone. We hadn’t completely lost contact, but I still felt the loss of our once close friendship like a knife in the heart. I’d tried to get over him by immersing myself in the ranch, and was surprised by how quickly I fell in love with country life.

  As much as I enjoyed working the cattle and riding my favorite horse through the wide, open pastures, I couldn't seem to forget about my prince. It had been nearly three years since I’d moved away, and I was still hopelessly in love with him. I sighed heavily, feeling the familiar ache in my heart that had become a part of me over the years.

  My friendship with Alexander had fallen apart, but my friendship with Ethan had remained and grown stronger. In a way, it had replaced the one I’d lost with the prince. I could tell that Ethan was still hoping for more, but I was hesitant to cross that line and risk ruining our friendship, as I had with Alexander. I was also afraid because I’d never been able to let go of my love for the prince, even though I had tried.

  It frightened me, that irrevocable depth of love.

  “Are you ready?” Mackenzie asked, breaking into my reverie.

  “As ready as I'll ever be,” I murmured.

  Was I ready to face the love of my life again after being apart for nearly three years? Could we put the past behind us and try to at least be friends? I was afraid to know the answers.

  A driver met us in front of the airport, and as my family chattered excitedly in the backseat of the limo, I silently mulled over the reason for my return to Coradova.

  Princess Arianna was getting married.

  The princess had coincidentally met Ethan’s cousin, Bennett Deimos, at her nineteenth birthday ball—the last royal event I had attended at the palace. The two had been inseparable ever since their first date and now their wedding was just over two weeks away.

  As our limo drove through the tall iron gates surrounding the palace, my heart started pounding frantically in my chest. Everyone would be there to greet us, including Alexander. I was scared and yet so ridiculously eager that I was a bundle of nerves. I hadn't been able to get over him, but what if he had easily gotten over me?

  All too soon, the limo pulled to a stop outside the front entrance. My family quickly climbed out, while I practically dragged myself out one forced step at a time. The head butler, Leverett, opened the grand front doors and ushered us into the foyer with a beaming smile.

  “Bienvenue!” Leverett welcomed us. “The Royal Family is awaiting your arrival in the front parlor.” He turned to lead us a short distance down the main hall, then opened the parlor door. “Your Majesties, the Kavanaugh family has arrived.”

  Standing in the back, I wrung my hands together anxiously, and took a deep breath in an effort to compose myself. My parents walked in first, then my sister, and I slowly followed. We were greeted enthusiastically with hugs and smiles as people embraced all around me. I eagerly scanned the room filled with familiar loving faces, searching for the face I was the most anxious to see. I felt him before I saw him.

  The warmth of him seeped deep into my long dormant heart, and it thudded erratically inside my chest. He was behind me, standing near the entrance to the door. Slowly, I turned around to face him.

  In the moment that our eyes met, my lopsided world suddenly seemed to settle back into place. For the first time in years my heart was whole. The rest of the people in the room seemed to disappear, and although I was vaguely aware of them, for that moment, all I could see was my prince.

  The intensity in his striking blue eyes took my breath away. Without a word, Alexander pulled me into his crushing embrace and held me so tightly that I could feel his thundering heart beneath his ribs. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face against his neck, more than happy to stay there forever.

  He sighed deeply, then pressed a tender kiss to my brow. “I’ve missed you, dolcezza.”

  “I missed you, too,” I whispered, overwhelmed with emotion.

  How had I managed to stay away from him for so long? At that moment, I realized I’d spent the last three years living without my heart. I could feel the strong, steady beat of it inside my chest, and wondered if I could go back to living without it again.

  Before I was ready to let him go, the voices of the others around us finally broke through my blissful haze. Behind me, King Mathis said with a laugh, “Let her breathe, son. We’re all anxious to welcome her home.”

  Alexander sighed softly and released me. His brilliant eyes met mine for a moment before I was joyfully embraced by the rest of his family. As happy as I was to see everyone, my thoughts were centered dominantly around Alexander.

  He looked exactly as I remembered him, though less boyish and more mature. Impressively tall, with powerful broad shoulders and golden olive-toned skin. Raven-black hair and the striking blue eyes I’d only seen in my dreams over the last few years. He was wearing khaki pants with a crisp white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the collar unbuttoned. Casually leaning one shoulder against the wall, he crossed his arms and watched me as I watched him, his eyes taking in every inch of me as mine did the same of him.

  I had taken extra care with my appearance this morning, wanting to look my best for this very moment. My brown hair was pinned back from my face in a casual half up-do, and my
makeup was a mixture of blushing pink and soft highlights. Bought specifically for the occasion, my lace dress had a sweetheart bodice and round neckline. Alexander shot me an appreciative smile as his gaze leisurely drifted back up to my face, and I blushed with pleasure.

  After all the greetings had been exchanged, everyone socialized comfortably for over an hour, laughing and sharing fond memories of past experiences. We eventually made our way to the dining room, and after a delicious casual dinner we retired back into the parlor. Ashton and Alexander were sitting in the armchairs near the fireplace, while I sat across from them on the couch between Arianna and Mackenzie. We were laughing at Ashton’s story about the time he and Alexander had gotten in trouble as children for swimming in a palace fountain when two tall, handsome men walked through the door.

  The first young man had dark olive-toned skin, black hair and butterscotch eyes. His gaze immediately found Arianna, who smiled widely. I had yet to meet him, but knew from pictures that he was Arianna’s fiancé, Bennett Deimos, Earl of Touraine. The other young man was tall too, with a lighter olive-toned complexion. He was handsome, with short black hair and light brown eyes that were warm and familiar. He shot me a lazy crooked smile as I rose from the couch.

  “Hey, Ethan.” I grinned and moved toward him. Clumsy as always, I tripped over my own feet and practically fell into his arms.

  Ethan laughed as he pulled me close for a hug. “Hey, Maddy. Welcome back,” he murmured into my hair.

  He loosened his hold after another moment, and I smiled up at him with genuine delight. I had seen him more than once over the past few years, but our last visit had been over five months ago.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” I said.

  “With you here in the palace, nothing could have kept me away.” Ethan grinned and brought one of my hands up to his mouth.

  Alexander loudly cleared his throat, drawing my attention. He had moved to stand right beside us, and I could practically feel the hostility coming off of him in waves. His blue eyes burned with jealousy before he carefully masked his expression.

  Releasing my hand, Ethan turned toward the prince and gave an overly formal bow. “Bonsoir, Your Royal Highness.”

  “Hello, Ethan.” Alexander’s gaze flickered to mine for a moment, and his lips pressed into a line as he turned back to frown at my friend.

  I sighed at the animosity between them. They had never particularly gotten along, but right now they seemed like two over-protective alpha males. I was worried that if they couldn’t be civil, the next few weeks would be a complicated nightmare. Ignoring them, I focused my attention on a beaming Arianna.

  “Maddy, this is Bennett,” Arianna proudly introduced.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Maddy,” Bennett said warmly, reaching out to kiss my hand. “I’ve heard a great deal about you from both Arianna and Ethan.”

  “Only good things, I hope,” I said, shooting a narrowed glance at Arianna. I knew how much she loved to share stories from my mischief-making childhood. The princess winked at me knowingly. “It’s great to finally meet you, Bennett. You’re a lucky man to have snagged this beauty, but watch out because she bites.”

  Bennett laughed and grinned down at the princess. “Thanks for the warning.”

  Arianna shot him a cheeky smile, her eyes filled with adoration. After a few minutes of polite conversation, they excused themselves so that Bennett could meet the rest of my family. It was nice to see my best friend so happy and in love.

  Pushing aside a sudden twinge of envy, I caught sight of the two pairs of eyes that were watching me. One was a dark butterscotch, and the other blue as the sea. I smiled nervously at them, and was grateful when Ethan drew me into conversation a moment later.

  We talked for a little while, catching up on all we had missed over the last few months. At one point Ethan’s eyes flickered toward the prince, who had been silently glaring at us during our conversation, before returning to my face.

  Ethan touched my arm and leaned down to murmur in my ear. “I think I’ve pushed his patience enough for one night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Ethan kissed my cheek and inclined his head toward Alexander in farewell. He paused mid-stride to look back at me over his shoulder, his eyes smoldering for a moment, causing a sudden flutter of nerves in my stomach. Smiling widely, Ethan winked and walked away.

  I looked anxiously at Alexander, worried that Ethan’s flirting had upset him. I could tell that his control was slipping, so I pulled him out into the hallway to speak in private.

  “Alex, you look ready to tear Ethan apart.”

  His dark expression was fierce and protective, and he practically snarled in response. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

  My lips twitched. Even before our first kiss, Alexander had always been protective of me, particularly when any cute guy looked at me with interest.

  “You’ve never liked the way that anyone looks at me,” I said wryly.

  Alexander frowned good-naturedly. “That’s true.”

  “Besides,” I said softly, “he’s not the person I’ve wanted to see for the last three years.”

  His warm gaze met mine. “And who is that?”

  “Queen Gabriella,” I teased with a smile.

  Alexander smirked knowingly and raised a dark eyebrow.

  “Ashton,” I teased again.

  “No, not Ashton,” Alexander said firmly. He moved closer, almost touching me, and my heart rate accelerated. He brushed the hair back from my face and gently cupped my cheek.

  Looking into his eyes, I was momentarily lost in his intense blue gaze. “You,” I whispered breathlessly. “I’ve wanted to see you, Alex.”

  He smiled, slow and dazzling. His thumb softly stroked my cheekbone as his eyes explored my face, re-memorizing every feature. His other hand circled around my waist and gently pulled me closer. My stomach filled with butterflies as Alexander slowly lowered his head. I held my breath, eagerly waiting for him to kiss me. He paused, his lips an inch away from mine when the door suddenly burst open behind us.

  I jerked away from Alexander, my face burning in embarrassment. Ashton and Mackenzie stood in the open doorway, watching us uncertainly. Mackenzie looked at me with concerned brown eyes, and I smiled to let her know that everything was all right.

  Perceptible as always, Ashton quickly assessed the situation. “Sorry to interrupt.” His gaze rested briefly on Alexander before turning to me. “It’s late, and I was showing Kenzie to her room. You must be exhausted too, Maddy. Would you like to come with us?” Ashton looked meaningfully at me.

  I knew he was offering me the chance to escape, if needed. He had always been very intuitive and protective of both Mackenzie and me. He was a brother to us as much as a friend.

  “I’ll take her,” Alexander said before I could answer, staring at his brother. Their eyes held for a long moment, then Ashton smiled and nodded in acquiescence.

  “Goodnight then,” Ashton said. “It’s great to have you back home, Maddy. See you tomorrow.”

  I wished them both a good night before they turned and strolled leisurely down the hallway. After they disappeared, Alexander offered me his arm. I accepted with a smile. He led me up the staircase and through the hallways to the guest quarters. I entered the sitting area to my guest bedroom and quickly took in the surrounding decor.

  Golden floral print walls, hardwood floors and pops of soft pink accents held an elegant and feminine touch. The cozy furniture was arranged around the stone fireplace, resting on a French Victorian floral rug. A porcelain vase holding a pink and cream bouquet filled the room with the scent of roses.

  I turned back toward Alexander.

  He was standing at the threshold, watching me with warm blue eyes. He smiled tenderly, then took my hand and brought it to his mouth, brushing a feather-light kiss against my knuckles. “Welcome home, dolcezza.”

  I melted. “Thank you, Alex. I’m happy to be home.”

  Ale
xander studied my face in that intense and serious way of his—as if he were looking straight through to my soul—then he smiled crookedly and tugged on a strand of my hair. Once again, I felt like a special moment had been lost.

  “Goodnight, Maddy.” Alexander kissed my fingers once more, then released my hand and stepped back into the hall. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Goodnight, Alex.”

  I tried not to feel too disappointed as I watched him walk away. Maybe it was for the best. After the near kiss in the hallway, I was certain that Alexander still desired me, but I didn’t know where we stood. Did he want to be with me, or was that political complication still in the way? Until I knew for sure, I refused to do anything that might jeopardize our renewed friendship. After seeing him for the first time in nearly three years, I was willing to do whatever it took to keep him in my life ... even if it was only as a friend.

  Chapter Twelve

  The morning had been a flurry of activity as final preparations were put together for Arianna’s birthday ball later tonight. I hadn’t seen Alexander all day, and my thoughts were a jumbled mess as I tried to figure out where our relationship stood. Desperate for a distraction, I had even tried to convince my personal maid, Charlotte, to let me help tidy up the guest bedrooms. But she had refused, scandalized. It was early evening as I dressed slowly for the party, taking meticulous care with my appearance.

  When I reached the downstairs wearing a strapless black evening gown and my hair in long curls, I heard familiar male voices coming from the study. I headed that way and walked confidently into the room.

  It was purely masculine. Dark woods and leathers, wall paneling and seemingly endless rows of shelves holding various valuables from Cuban cigars to proudly displayed elegant swords. The guys were grouped around the rustic stone fireplace, lounging casually on the dark leather furniture.

 

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