#CassiNova

by Lori G. Matthews

  “In my defense, we started way ’fore the sun wen’ down.” Her eyelashes dusted her cheeks.

  “I’m busting on you. I love you.”

  “I love you too. Mmhmm. I might sleep for days.”

  Sam hitched the blanket over their shoulders. “It’s okay, I’ll take care of you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sam stared down at a sleeping Alex. The clock read six thirty a.m. She hadn’t gone to sleep at all, content to hold and snuggle her girlfriend all night. An hour ago, she’d crawled out of bed and jumped in the shower to rinse off.

  So here she lay, staring at the woman she loved, waiting patiently for her to wake up. Well, maybe not so patiently, because Sam kept gently touching Alex, pushing wild hair from her face, running a hand lightly down a toned forearm.

  Soon one open, green eye stared back.

  “Are you awake?” Sam whispered.

  “No,” Alex whispered back with a soft smile.

  Sam snuggled closer. “I think you are.” Taking a finger, she traced the smile on those lips.

  “It’s early. What are you doing up?”

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “You mean at all?” Now the other eye opened too.

  “Yeah. I’m too juiced. You got me juiced.”

  “Oh, I got you juiced all right.”

  Sam giggled and kissed her lightly on the lips.

  “I’ll be right back.” Alex disentangled herself and padded to the bathroom.

  “Nice ass,” Sam called after her. The shower turned on and she waited patiently for a proper good morning kiss.

  It didn’t take long. Within minutes, Alex crawled back into bed with the fresh, clean smell of soap clinging to her skin. She gave Sam a proper good morning kiss while her hand wandered to other places. Specifically, the place between Sam’s legs.

  Sam moaned, still amazed at how quickly Alex could get her aroused. “I almost forgot mornings are your favorite time.”

  Alex’s teeth gripped the waistband of Sam’s shorts and pulled them down. “Oh shit.” This would never get old.

  * * *

  An hour later, they both basked in the afterglow of sexual satisfaction. As Sam lay on Alex’s chest, her phone buzzed with a calendar reminder.

  “Oh crap. I forgot about that.”

  “What’d you forget?”

  “I was supposed to hike with Jade and Emma this morning. I wouldn’t have made the plans if I’d known it was gonna be now now time.”

  Alex laughed and squeezed her. “Henceforth, it shall always be known as now now.”

  “Should I blow them off?”

  “No, don’t blow off your friends. I’m still wiped. I’ll sleep. You go walk, then come back here, and I’ll tire you out the rest of the day.”

  Sam gave her a quick peck on the lips. “All right. I’m gonna go shower.”

  * * *

  When Sam parked in the lot at Brush Canyon, Jade and Emma were already there, both half-heartedly stretching in tank tops and yoga pants.

  “About fucking time,” Jade called.

  Sam bounced over. “I’m not even gonna charge you a dollar today!” She gave a big hug and kiss to each.

  Jade brightened. “Is it free-fuck day? Did I miss the memo?” After studying Sam’s body language, her eyes narrowed. “Wait a second.” She tapped a finger to her chin. “E, you know what we have here? We have a sexually satisfied Samantha Cassidy. I can smell her from a mile away. And I think I really can smell you. Did you take a shower?”

  “Of course, I showered. Twice, actually.” Sam took a quick whiff, suddenly unsure. She’d had a lot of sex.

  “Oh my God!” Emma yelled. “You had sex!” Her voice echoed around the canyon.

  Jade whacked her arm. “Jesus Christ, keep it down.”

  “Sorry.” Grabbing Sam’s hands, she gushed, “I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks, E.” Sam shook their clasped hands.

  Jade stuck her head between them. “Listen, bring it in.”

  Sam and Emma brought it in close, wrapping their arms around each other.

  “Close your eyes,” Jade said. “Let’s observe a moment of silence…for Sam’s cherry. I’m thinking it got popped in a major way.”

  Sam playfully pushed Jade. “You make it sound like I was a virgin, for God’s sake.”

  Jade grinned. “Bet you felt like one when she got a hold of you.”

  Sam felt warmth bloom in her cheeks as she thought about last night.

  “Look, it’s jammed here today, so let’s keep it quiet,” Jade said. “Don’t need some asshole with a cell phone recording anything.”

  Sam nodded. “Agreed.”

  “Okay,” Emma said. “Maybe we need code words.”

  Jade’s lip curled. “Since when did you develop such a boner for code words?”

  “I don’t have a boner. It’s so we can speak freely.” Emma lowered her voice. “You know, instead of sex, we say something else. It’s gotta be a verb though. A verb and a noun.” Emma’s face scrunched up in thought. “Like talk. Talk will be the word for sex.”

  Jade raised her eyes to the heavens but nodded in agreement.

  Sam concurred. “Got it.”

  Emma continued to whisper. “And we can’t say orgasm, so we need another word for that too.”

  “I can’t wait to hear this one,” Jade said.

  “What are we gonna call it?” Sam asked.

  “How about embolism?”

  “Embolism? Where did you get that?” Jade asked.

  “I watched Grey’s Anatomy last night. Some dude on the show died from one.”

  “Great. We have talking and embolisms. Fan-fucking-tastic.”

  “And we can’t say Alex,” Emma said, “because people might know her.”

  “What do you want to call her?” Sam enjoyed this game. She’d enjoy a root canal right now, she was so sky high on love and lust.

  Emma put a finger to her lips. “Well, I’m not sure, but something similar, because we don’t want to confuse her with someone else.”

  “Who else would we confuse her with?” Sam asked.

  “I don’t know. What if we say Lex something? Like Lex Luthor.”

  “Lex Luthor was in Superman,” Sam said quietly, still grinning like the village idiot. “I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be having sex with him.”

  “Ah, but we’re not saying sex, we’re saying talk.” Emma winked.

  “Right,” Sam said with a return wink. And a point.

  Jade cleared her throat. “Okay, shall we walk?”

  Emma took the initiative, speaking loudly so all could hear. “So, Sam, how was your weekend?”

  Sam inhaled some good old-fashioned LA smog into her lungs. “My weekend, so far, has been spectacular.”

  “Really? What happened?” Emma asked with all the wrong intonation.

  “Well, Lex and I talked. And talked. And talked. We talked all night long. For like eight hours straight.” Sam continued walking, but soon realized she was alone and glanced behind her.

  Jade and Emma stood several yards away, staring at her with their mouths hanging open. They quickly caught up.

  Jade grabbed Sam’s arm. “You talked, for eight hours? Straight?”

  Sam nodded, still grinning stupidly. “It was a really good talk.”

  Jade was incredulous. “Eight hours straight?”

  “Yep.”

  “Did someone talk more than the other?” Emma asked.

  Sam pursed her lips. “No, it was a pretty equal conversation. Although once I had three orga—uh, embolisms in a row. Like one right after the other. So I guess I dominated the conversation for a bit.”

  “Three embolisms in a row?” Jade cocked an eyebrow. “You’re lucky to be alive.”

  “Who talked first?” Emma asked.

  “I did. On the stairs. After we fell over the dog bed. We almost talked on the dog bed.”

  “Thank God for small favors,” Jade said.
r />   “Why on the stairs?” Emma asked.

  “Couldn’t make it to the bedr—ah, normal, um, talking room.”

  “Why not?”

  “The conversation was too…charged. We needed to finish the talk…right away.”

  “Did you both talk on the stairs?” Jade asked.

  “No, Lex made it to the talking room. After she fell. Taking her shor—taking her shoes off.”

  “How many things did you fall over?”

  Sam counted on her fingers. “Well, we fell down once outside in the yard. We fell over the lounge chair on the patio, then the dog bed, and I think we might’ve fallen on the stairs. And she fell taking her…shoes off. We were pretty excited to talk.”

  “Sounds like you lost a few motor skills along the way.”

  “So your first talk. What did it feel like?” Emma asked.

  “It was amazing, I literally felt the earth move. I swear there was shaking, like the stairs shook.”

  “Oh, we had a small tremor last night. Maybe that’s what you felt,” Jade said.

  “Really?”

  “No. Did Lex enjoy when you talked to her? I mean, she has a body built for talking. All hard and lean and shit. Must’ve felt amazing. For talking.”

  “Can I just tell you, I’ve never talked with a body like that before. It was glorious. Those biceps! And she has a six pack.” Sam hesitated as two women walked past staring. “Of Pepsi. I put my lips all over…those cans. And her ass…assets. Went over those assets with a fine-tooth comb.”

  “So, how would you rate Lex’s performance as a talker?” Jade asked.

  “Off the charts. Best talk I’ve ever had, without question. Incredibly skillful talker. I want her to talk to me all the time now.”

  Jade shook her head. “Damn, just when I thought I didn’t need panty liners anymore.”

  “And we talked all over the house too. We talked in every room.”

  “Every room?” Jade asked.

  Sam nodded.

  “You talked. In every room,” Jade reiterated.

  Sam nodded again. “We had pizza and a talk in the kitchen, on the floor. And don’t even ask me about the laundry room.”

  “I’m asking.”

  “She put me on the washer. To talk. And then she turned it on.”

  “You weren’t in it, were you?” Emma asked, confused.

  “No, I was on top of it.”

  “Why would you turn it, ooh…vibrations. I get it.” She winked and shot an imaginary finger gun at Sam.

  Jade’s brow creased. “Since you were in the laundry room, did you talk dirty? I mean talk about dirty laundry?”

  “No. We didn’t do that.”

  Jade lowered her voice. “I dated someone once who was into talking dirty. Damn, she was crude. I felt like I needed a thesaurus by the bed to keep up. There’s only so many words to describe your vagina.”

  “Cooch, hooch, cooter, snatch, box,” Emma ticked off.

  “Box?” Sam asked.

  “All those words are such a turn on, E. Where were you when I needed you? Oh, baby, I need you in my snatch, like right now. Get in my box, please, but after you remove my Amazon order.”

  Emma’s eyes were glued to her phone. “Pooter, beaver, snapper…”

  Sam’s eyes widened. “Snapper? Yikes.”

  “Flossie,” Emma continued.

  “Flossie? Who the hell says flossie?” Jade asked.

  “My mom actually called it that when I was young,” Emma said. “She would ask if I washed my flossie.”

  “Did she tell you to floss your teeth, too? I bet that was confusing.”

  Emma flipped Jade the bird and turned her attention back to Sam. “Well, it sounds like you had a lot of fun talking.”

  “I’m telling you. It was a hot fucking talk.”

  “The time she talked to you three times in row. How did that happen exactly?” Jade asked.

  “Well, she talked to me the first time, and I was extremely satisfied with the talk, and I was recovering, from such a great talk. She kinda stayed in the same talking position, and talked slower and softer, because you know, sometimes after you talk, you’re a little sore, from talking so much.”

  “I lost track of who’s talking to who,” Emma said. “There’s a shit ton of talking going on here!” The ping of a text distracted her. She read it, then held her phone at arm’s length and took a selfie. “Logan’s taking me to dinner tonight. It’s our two-year-three-month-five-day anniversary.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Jade mumbled. “So, Sam, your triple play. Let’s have it, the big embolism. The big E.”

  Sam continued. “The big E was awesome.” She put a hand to her throat. “It was truly a big E.”

  Emma finished texting. “What did you say?”

  “What?”

  Emma pulled her shorts down a smidge. “Jesus, I may have gained a couple of pounds, but that’s kinda harsh.”

  “Huh?” Sam asked.

  “I don’t know. You said E.”

  “When?”

  “You called me big.”

  “What?” Jade asked.

  Emma lost it. “Who the fuck is E?”

  “You’re fucking E!” Jade shouted back at her.

  A horrified Sam grabbed them each by an arm. “Oh my God. Bring it in.” Sam nodded hello to a woman who jogged by, a woman Sam recognized. She oversaw new development for one of the networks. “Calm down. You’re attracting attention.”

  Emma’s eyes bugged out of her head. “I only gained two pounds. I don’t appreciate being called the big E.”

  “Mother of fucking God, the big E is not you,” Jade said.

  Sam regretted making it free fuck day, because she’d be rolling in it right now.

  “Well, who is it?” Emma demanded.

  Placing her mouth next to Emma’s ear, Sam softly explained, “Remember, our code word for orgasm was embolism. The big E.”

  Realization dawned. “Oh. Well, why didn’t you say so?”

  Jade glared. “We thought we did.”

  “Well, I was distracted.” Emma huffed. “Why don’t we just say talk? It’s much easier.” She smoothed down her tank top and they all continued walking. “So, continue, Sam.”

  “Well, I never imagined I could talk three times. I’ve never had multiple talks before. Ever.”

  “What was the talking technique on that third one?” Jade asked.

  Sam waited for a group of chatty teenagers to pass. “Well, the third talk was more, on the inside. She found an interesting…spot. A spot I didn’t know worked.” Sam raised her eyebrows.

  Jade positioned herself in front of Sam, walking backward as Sam walked forward. “She found the spot?”

  Sam nodded, and her eyes glossed over. The third one had been a good one.

  “Holy fuck.” Jade hitched at her crotch. “Remind me not to wear cotton underwear on these hikes.” She fell back in line. “I was with this chick once who swore she could find ‘the spot.’ She must have rooted around down there for hours. Finally, I was like, ‘get the fuck on with it.’ She must have used a whole tube of KY Jelly. I mean, you only stay moist for so long, am I right?”

  “Ouch,” Emma said.

  “Ouch is an understatement. It was like pulling out a dry tampon. Fucking ouch is right.”

  Emma waited for the next group of joggers to go by before asking, “Sam, did you use any, uh, appliances?”

  Jade jumped right in to add, “Well, we already covered the washing machine. What else were you hoping for, the microwave? Or maybe the hand mixer?”

  Now it was Sam’s turn to say, “Ouch.”

  “No, not that kind of appliance.” Emma shifted closer. “Don’t you guys use, you know, tools?”

  Jade put her face in front of Emma’s. “You mean like hammers, or screwdrivers?”

  “Ouch,” Sam mumbled again. This was getting more painful by the minute.

  “No. I didn’t mean those kinds of tools.” Emma’s hands cir
cled her hips. “Like, you buckle it on.”

  “Like a belt?” Jade asked with feigned innocence.

  Sam flashed back to the button episode. “Thank God she didn’t have a belt on. I could barely operate a button I was so…talkative.”

  “No, no, like a harness thingy.” Emma’s frustration mounted as she struggled to think of the correct word. “Like…” Her hands made wider circles around her body.

  “A harness thingy? You mean so you can hang from the ceiling? Damn, E, I’d like to be a fly on the wall in your bedroom,” Jade said with fake appreciation. “What do you do up there, swinging around in your harness? Is it like, catch me if you can? Do you bang into things? Are you attached to the ceiling fan? Spinning slowly around, while Logan stands on a step stool hoping to get lucky, trying to time it just right. Figuring when to go all in, like double-dutch jump rope?”

  Sam and Emma ignored Jade’s rambling.

  “E, do you mean a strap-on?” Sam asked.

  “Right. I couldn’t think of the name.”

  Jade put an arm around Emma. “We need to go shopping. I know a place on Sunset. We’re gonna set you up with some appliances and power tools.”

  They strolled along in silence for a minute. “I’ve never talked all night,” Emma said. “I mean, I might have talked three times tops in one night. And it wasn’t like your triple play.”

  “Me neither.” Jade took out her phone.

  “Who you calling?” Sam asked.

  “Calynn.” Jade put the phone to her ear. “Voice mail.” She waited for the greeting to finish, then said, “Babe, we gotta talk more,” before disconnecting the call. “So if you finally…talked, that means certain things were said.”

  “Yes.”

  “Who caved?”

  “She said it first.”

  Emma’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Are we still talking about talking?”

  “How did she say it?” Jade asked, ignoring Emma.

  “Oh, it was so romantic. She Notting Hill’ed me.”

  Emma stopped walking. “Is that some new position for…talking? Cause that’s a new one to me. It’s not like twerking, is it?”

  Jade groaned. “We’re not talking about talking anymore.”

  “What are we talking about now?”