Mr Right Now

by Karly Lane

  ‘We’re fine.’

  ‘I don’t think you are.’

  ‘I’m just busy … In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a bit going on around here.’

  ‘Yeah, but it’s more than that. You don’t laugh any more.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous. Only this morning I laughed when you put salt in your coffee instead of sugar,’ she pointed out.

  ‘It doesn’t count when it’s laughing at me. Seriously, Liv. Something’s going on with you.’

  ‘Nothing’s going on, I’m just tired. Once we get things up and running around here, everything will be fine.’

  ‘If it’s making you miserable, then maybe it’s not worth it.’

  ‘Have you seen the progress Dad’s been making lately? Trust me, I don’t care how tiring it is, it’s worth it.’

  She could tell by the look on her brother’s face that he wasn’t satisfied, but she truly didn’t have the energy to argue about it. ‘I’ve got to get back.’

  ‘If you want to talk about it …’ Ollie tried one last time as she headed back to the ute.

  She lifted a hand and waved without turning. There was nothing to talk about. She was committed to seeing the project through. In all honesty, she’d forgotten about the London job … well, until something reminded her about it and she allowed herself a brief moment of regret before pushing it from her mind once more. She was actually enjoying the whole process of renovation and designing educational programs. No one day was ever the same and she liked the variety of that. It was just that she was spread so thin nowadays. Every time she turned around someone was calling her name. Olivia, we need to do this … Olivia, can you get on to such and such and sort out this problem … Olivia, I need you to find out something … It never stopped. And it wasn’t as though she actually knew what she was doing. She was learning as she went, and that alone was stressful.

  Griffin did his best to help—he was happy enough to take on anything she asked his help with—but he had his own place to run and his own stresses running a business. She knew she was letting him down when it came to their relationship. She was just so damn tired. He wanted to talk about their future and start making plans, but she could never summon up the energy and always tried to change the subject. It was only a matter of time before he was over it.

  The familiar sick feeling filled her once more. She loved Griffin, but she couldn’t commit to their future right now and she knew that hurt him. It would be all right, she told herself firmly. Once the paddock-to-plate business was off the ground, everything would settle down. If she told herself that often enough, it would happen. At least she hoped so.

  ‘What are you looking for?’ Griffin asked as he watched Olivia checking under the bed and turning the room upside down.

  ‘Have you seen my good pair of jeans?’

  ‘Can’t say I have.’

  ‘I thought they must be here, since I couldn’t find them at home.’

  He eyed her from where he was sitting on the side of the bed pulling on his socks. ‘You know, it would be a lot easier if you just moved in.’ They’d been having this conversation for the last few months.

  She turned away, digging through the clothes basket. ‘You know why I can’t.’

  ‘Because your parents need you,’ he parroted. It had kind of made sense at first. But her parents had been home a while now and, from what he could tell, Bill seemed to have settled back in just fine. Her continued reluctance to move in with him was starting to ring alarm bells.

  ‘There’s too much going on at the moment,’ she said wearily.

  ‘When is there never too much going on?’ he argued.

  He saw her eyes close briefly and felt a stab of guilt as he realised her eyes were red. She’d been crying. ‘Hey. Come here,’ he said, his voice gentle as he reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. ‘What’s wrong?’

  She shook her head irritably. ‘I’m fine. It’s just a touch of hay fever.’

  Yeah, right.

  ‘I know we need to sort things out, and we will,’ she stressed, ‘but there’s so much more work involved at home than I was expecting. On top of all the paperwork and renovations, I have to bring Dad up to speed so he can run the program … I need to be there right now.’

  ‘I just don’t get how it’s that big of a deal living here instead of there. It’s not like you’d be a thousand miles away.’

  ‘It’s easier, that’s all,’ she said, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. ‘I know it’s a pain.’ She finally turned to face him. ‘It won’t be forever.’

  He watched her disappear through the doorway after kissing him goodbye and tried to ignore the disappointment that settled heavily in his stomach. She was under a lot of strain right now. He was just going to have to be patient.

  It shouldn’t be hard for him—he was a farmer, after all, and patience was pretty much the main job criteria. But he was more than ready for them to move on with their own life and it was frustrating to have her so close and yet still so distant. He didn’t want these bloody sleepovers—he wanted her here permanently. He wanted to make this their home.

  Griff looked around the room and shook his head. It looked like a cyclone had been through the place—Cyclone Olivia. He gave a small chuckle as he picked up an armload of clothing from the bedroom floor and dumped it on the bed. No wonder she could never find anything. He would be the last person to point out anyone else’s housekeeping deficiencies, and in truth you’d never know Olivia lived here part-time by looking around the rest of the house. She never left her stuff lying about on the table or out in the lounge, but the bedroom was apparently a whole other set of rules. In here, despite the fact he’d cleaned out half his wardrobe for her and most of his drawers, she still hadn’t got around to actually unpacking the suitcase she’d brought over before her parents had even returned.

  Maybe if he started putting a few things away, she’d get the hint. It couldn’t hurt. He picked up the pile of clean T-shirts he’d just relocated from the floor and placed them in the top drawer. He tugged a pair of jeans from the bottom of the pile—most likely the ones she’d been searching for—and saw a piece of paper fall. Thinking it might be something of his, Griff picked it up and unfolded it.

  VISA APPLICATION APPROVED. The words jumped off the page at him. He frowned and felt a rush of foreboding.

  She’d been in the process of obtaining an overseas visa in order to work in the UK. It had to have been submitted before her parents came home, but the date on the letter showed it had only recently been approved. That would explain why she looked as though she’d been crying earlier. She still wanted to go.

  He sank onto the bed and stared at the paperwork in his hand, a gaping void opening in the pit of his stomach. She was miserable, he knew it. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, she couldn’t hide it from him. He knew her too well. She’d given up her chance to go overseas for everyone else and it was slowly but surely killing the spark inside her.

  Thirty

  Olivia parked the ute and threaded her fingers through the eight plastic shopping bags, lugging them out of the vehicle with a small grunt as she took their weight and closed the door with her hip. She didn’t care if it killed her, she was not making more than one trip to carry the groceries inside.

  Staggering through the back door, she dropped them to the floor with a grateful sigh. As she straightened and shook the blood flow back into her fingers, her mother poked her head into the kitchen.

  ‘Can you come into the office for a moment, darling?’

  ‘I’ll just put away the cold things,’ she said, wondering why she was being summoned, and hoping there hadn’t been a disaster that would set back the opening. It was only a few more weeks until they could welcome their first booked guests. She hurried through the unpacking and made her way down the hallway into the office.

  She stopped in the doorway, surprised to see Griff in the office with her parents.

  ‘Hi,’ she sa
id, eyeing him curiously.

  ‘Darling, we need to have a chat. It’s about that London job you were offered,’ Sue said calmly, but in the same tone Olivia remembered from childhood when she’d covered for Ollie and been caught out and was getting the We expected more of you lecture.

  Her gaze immediately flew to Griffin’s and she saw his jaw tighten, but he held her accusing glare.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ her mother asked with a shake of her head.

  ‘It wasn’t important.’

  ‘It was important. Do you think either your father or I would have asked you to oversee all this if we’d known?’

  ‘That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you,’ Olivia said dryly.

  ‘Well, you should have,’ Sue said, crossing her arms and eyeing her daughter sternly.

  ‘It doesn’t matter now. It was months ago. I’m here and we’ve got the business up and running.’

  ‘That means there’s nothing stopping you from accepting now,’ her father said gruffly.

  ‘It’s too late,’ she said with as flippant a tone as she could muster. It was way too late; it had been a once-in-a-lifetime-had-to-be-in-the-right-place-at-the-right-time kind of offer. She swallowed over the tiniest bit of resentment. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but her own, and she had no reason to be upset with anyone in this room, but her eyes fell on Griff, who was looking far too attractive for a double-crossing dobber. What the hell had he been thinking, telling on her like a primary school tittle-tattle?

  ‘Well, that’s the thing.’ Mr Dibber-Dobber himself spoke up now, leaning forward to hit a button on the computer, before leaning back as the sound of an incoming Skype call echoed around the room. Before she could open her mouth to ask what was going on, Marco popped up on the screen and she found herself gaping like a sideshow-alley clown, as she looked around at the faces in the room and wondered what the hell was going on.

  ‘Great to see you again, Olivia,’ Marco said, and Griff tugged her arm to bring her closer to the desk. Gingerly, she took a seat in front of the screen and tried to get her scrambled thoughts back into alignment.

  ‘Good to see you again too,’ she managed to croak.

  ‘I had an interesting chat with your family earlier today and they explained what’s been going on. It sounds like you’ve been busy.’

  ‘It’s been a lot of hard work.’ This was very weird.

  ‘Griffin and your parents have been telling me about the business. I’m impressed. Shows you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for in our company. But I won’t hold you up any longer than necessary: the London job is still yours if you want it, Olivia. We’ve had a relieving position in there, but it hasn’t worked out.’

  Olivia knew she needed to say something but for the life of her she couldn’t manage a single word. ‘I don’t think I can,’ she finally stammered, struggling to process what was happening. The London job was still open?

  ‘Yes, you can,’ her mother said firmly. ‘Your father and I will manage just fine from here on in, and Griffin said he’ll lend a hand if we need it.’

  Olivia looked across at Griff, standing arms folded, legs braced as he nodded to confirm what her mother had just said. ‘You want me to take it?’ she asked sceptically.

  ‘I do.’

  He was being supportive. He was doing exactly what she’d been hoping for, and yet now that he was, it only made her own doubts surface. Which was completely ridiculous, considering she’d only turned the job down because she thought she’d be abandoning everyone, and here they were packing her bags for her.

  ‘Get out there and see the world while you have the chance,’ her father said in his usual pragmatic way. ‘Life’s short, kid. Make the most of it.’

  Olivia blinked back tears, surprised by the sudden emotion.

  ‘I’ll give you some time to think it over,’ Marco cut in from the background. Olivia had momentarily forgotten he was still there.

  ‘She doesn’t need more time,’ her father informed him matter-of-factly. ‘She’ll take it.’

  ‘Olivia?’ Marco asked with an amused expression. This was clearly the first time he’d conducted a job interview quite like this one.

  Olivia found herself giving a jerky nod, before finding her voice. ‘Yes. I’d like the job.’

  She vaguely heard Marco rattling off something about getting the paperwork underway and that he’d be back in touch soon, before his camera turned off and the screen went dark.

  Her mother hugged her quickly before pulling back, holding her arms to look at her intently. ‘You made the right decision. You should be taking any opportunity that comes your way. That’s how we raised you,’ she reminded her sternly. ‘We love that you sacrificed all that for us, but we would never have wanted you to give up something so important.’ She smiled gently before turning away and following her husband out of the room, leaving Griff and Olivia alone.

  ‘I know you hate surprises,’ Griff started, ‘but you’re too stubborn to negotiate with.’

  ‘So ambushing me was the obvious choice?’

  ‘If that’s what it takes.’

  ‘You had no right to tell them.’

  ‘I had to, Liv. You’re miserable here.’

  ‘I’d have got over it,’ she said tightly as a combination of emotions battled inside her—anger, betrayal, fear and excitement, all completely overwhelming.

  ‘We did it for you, Liv. We all love you and want to see you happy again.’

  ‘I am happy.’

  ‘I don’t think you are. I think deep down you resent us a little bit—all of us.’

  She didn’t want that to be true, but she was ashamed to realise he might actually be right. ‘You wanted me to move in with you!’ she said, feeling helpless.

  ‘Yeah, I did. But I don’t want you choosing me as some second-best option. That’s no way to start a life together. If I’m not your first choice, then I’d rather be no choice at all.’

  ‘So you’re breaking up with me?’ she gaped at him, her stomach dropping. God, this was so hard.

  ‘I’m not breaking up with you. I’m letting you go.’

  ‘There’s a difference?’ she asked and felt hot tears begin to well in her eyes.

  ‘I’m not going anywhere, Liv,’ he said, reaching out to wipe away the tears, ‘but you need to.’

  He was releasing her from all responsibility and she had been given everyone’s blessing to go. So why did she feel this reluctance?

  Griff stepped closer and tilted her chin up slightly. ‘It’ll be okay,’ he said softly.

  She wanted to believe him, but as she searched his eyes she wasn’t so sure.

  ‘I’ve got to get back. I’ll see you later,’ he said, gently kissing her lips before turning and walking out of the room.

  Olivia sank into the chair and stared at the black screen. London. Was she really going to do this? Slowly a small, hesitant bubble of excitement raised its head. Could she do this? Apparently, she could. A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she thought back to the crazy intervention her family had just staged. Marco must think they were all mad. Olivia straightened in her seat and rolled her tight shoulders. She could do this. They were right—she had to. But as she listened to the sounds of farm life going on outside the window and heard the clatter and clink of her mother pottering about in the kitchen, a small trickle of tears made a path down her face. She wiped at them with her fingertips and took a deep shaky breath. It was harder than she’d expected to follow your dreams when you had to leave a part of yourself behind in order to do it.

  ‘Are you sure you know what you’re doing?’ Ollie asked as they unloaded her bags from the back of his ute at the airport.

  ‘Please don’t do this,’ she said sadly. While everyone else was determined to put on a happy face, Ollie, true to form, refused to cover up his disapproval.

  ‘I just don’t think you’ve thought this through.’

  ‘Sometimes opportunities come up and yo
u just have to grab them,’ she parroted. It was the same phrase she’d been using for the last three weeks. She was weary. Heartbroken and bone-tired. This decision had been one of the toughest she’d had to make and her heart was heavy when it should be leaping with excitement. Maybe at some point she’d allow herself to feel the joy, but right now all she felt was miserable. It didn’t help at all that she knew deep down that she had to do this. If she let this opportunity pass, she’d always have regrets and maybe this would be the unspoken bone of contention that could possibly come back one day to bite Griff an her. It was hard, and painful, but she was trying her best to think of it not as a break-up, but just as a pause. Somehow, though, that didn’t ease her sadness.

  ‘The timing is never going to be right—there’s always going to be something that potentially gets in the way.’ Olivia let out a long sigh. ‘What if I’m destined to do more with my life and I’ve just been too scared to try? Maybe this is the push I needed. Look at Hadley. She took her chance and ran with it. I’ve always been too afraid.’

  ‘You’re not Hadley, Liv. You’re you. You have to stop trying to be someone you’re not.’

  ‘I’m not trying to be Hadley.’ She tried for a calmer tone. ‘I’m just pointing out that maybe it’s time I took a chance and tried something new.’

  ‘Speaking of Hadley, have you two sorted things out?’

  ‘There’s nothing to sort out. Hadley’s dealing with things in her own way as usual and has shut out everyone, including me because I was the one who brought it to her attention that her husband was cheating on her. Which is completely unfair and the reason I didn’t want to tell her in the first place,’ she said pointedly.

  ‘You had to tell her, Liv.’

  Liv sighed and closed her eyes briefly. ‘I know, but Griff forced my hand, something he seems to be doing a lot of lately,’ she added dryly. ‘I wanted to do it when the time was right.’

  ‘There was never going to be a right time.’

  ‘No,’ she said, looking at her brother, ‘and it’s the same with this job.’