It terrified me how much my life had come to revolve around her. She was it for me. If I were to ever lose her, I’d lose my soul too. I wasn’t sure if I could survive it. I know for damn sure I didn’t want to have to find out either.
I loved her with an all-consuming passion. It was that simple.
~***~
Chapter 15
Being wrong is acceptable, but staying wrong is totally unacceptable.
~Jack D. Schwager~
Eagle
January 3rd, 1999
This had been a fucking hard day. We’d had to bury one of our own. Audrey had passed away at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Standing at the graveside service brought home the fact that life was incredibly fragile and none of us knew when our day would be called to leave this world. All any of us knew for sure is that one day it would happen.
I was sitting at our regular table drinking a beer. The mood was bittersweet. People were telling stories about Audrey. Laughter could be heard but, underneath it all, there was sorrow. Bane and Kenzie came walking out of the dining room. Each was holding a plate of food. As they sat down at the table, I studied the look on their faces.
While both wore an expression that mimicked the majority of everyone in the room, sorrow, they both appeared relaxed, happy. I looked at Kenzie’s face and she was smiling softly at whatever Bane was telling her. Her expression was caring, almost loving. Bane’s was, well, his was nothing short of complete and total devotion for the woman in front of him. The love he felt for her beamed from him so bright, it almost hurt to look at him. He’d fallen for Kenzie and fallen hard. He wasn’t afraid to show it either.
I watched as Kenzie reached up and wiped something off the corner of his lips. He grabbed her finger, stuck it into his mouth and sucked on it. I watched as both became focused on only each other. While it still hurt to see them this way, I realized that ever since I had figured out that losing her was on me, that my feelings were different.
Did I still want her? Hell, yes. Did I deserve her? Hell, no. Plus, I had to face something, even though I still knew Kenzie and I would have been good together and even though I had felt the strongest chemistry with her than I have with any woman, I hadn’t been in love with her. I’m sure if we’d had the chance, love would have happened as fast as the instant connection I felt for her. However, we hadn’t had the chance. Yes, I had all these emotions for her, however, they weren’t on the level that Bane’s were now.
Bane loved her, she was his. If she didn’t love him now, I believed she would one day. I had to let this go. Let her go. I needed to talk to him. I don’t think I could ever forgive him for what he did, still I had to try to make things better. Because Dog was right, this was affecting more than just the three of us. It was affecting my Brothers in the club.
~*~
January 4th, 1999
It was around ten a.m. Hoss had called off work for the day. The weather was just too nasty. I didn’t know if Bane was here or not, but I decided it was time to talk with him. I’d decided that two hours ago. I had been holding my damn phone and staring at it since then. I dreaded this. I wasn’t sure how I’d react. I knew I needed to keep my cool and not lose my shit, I just wasn’t sure if I would be able to. I took a deep breath and let it out. I had to quit stalling. It was time. I let my fingers race across the keys and sent my initial text to Bane.
He answered almost immediately. At each query, he responded fast. There. I had done it. Maybe now I would get my answers and somewhat clear the air between us at the same time. I didn’t feel we would ever be friends again, I was just hoping we could exist in the MC without as much conflict.
I swallowed hard. Now if I could just get through the next hour or so without killing Bane or him killing me, maybe everything would eventually all work out.
~*~
Bane
Kenzie didn’t have to work today, so I’d woken her up earlier and made slow, sweet love to her. Things were starting to get better between us. I could feel it. I’d thought after I heard her tell Eagle that she sometimes wished she had chosen him that she would change her mind about us and cut me loose. She hadn’t. Instead, it was like she finally decided she had to let Eagle go and concentrate on us.
Once both of us were putting our all into the relationship, things started falling into place. I’d seen her looking at me with care and a couple times, I swear it looked like love. I was still holding out hope for that. I sure wasn’t going to do anything that would rock the boat. I needed this woman in my life too damn much. I’d never realized that a man could feel this much emotion for a woman.
She made me strong. She made me weak. She made me laugh and, at times, she made me cry. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke up and she was the last thing I thought of before I went to sleep.
My life would be perfect if I still had Eagle as my best friend. I knew that would never happen again so I’d take what I did have and be more than content with it. Kenzie made me happier than I’d ever been in my life.
The demon was finally quieting down some. I rarely heard him anymore. I thanked God for that too. There had been a couple times in my life I had thought he would win. I’d come close one time to giving up and leaving this world.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text. I picked it up fast so it wouldn’t wake up Kenz. I’d worn her out earlier. I smiled at the thought and my damn dick started hardening as I remembered what we had done.
I drew in a sharp breath when I saw who it was from.
Eagle: Need to talk to you.
I swallowed. Nerves hit me hard.
Me: When.
Eagle: As soon as you can. You at the Clubhouse?
My hands shook as I typed my response.
Me: No. I can be there in thirty minutes.
Eagle: See you then.
I had no clue what he wanted to talk about, but I was scared as fuck that today I was going to lose the woman that was currently draped over my body. Ever since I had come to realize that I loved Kenzie, I’d had a deep-rooted fear that something would happen to take her away from me. I couldn’t lose her. I just couldn’t. If I had to walk away from the club, I’d do so. I needed her more than I needed it.
“Kenz,” I murmured softly as I ran my hand up and down her arm.
“Hmm,” she moaned.
“Babe, I need to run to the Clubhouse for a little while, then I’ll be back.”
She ran the hand that was on my chest down my abdomen and encountered my throbbing dick. Her hand lazily started stroking him up and down. I groaned and thrust upward. She leaned her head closer to my chest and licked my nipple then bit it. My entire body jerked. Christ. This woman turned me inside out.
She pushed herself up on her arms. My eyes automatically went to her full tits that were hanging close to my mouth. I licked my lips seeing them sway as she moved. She cast me a naughty grin, scooted forward a little and dropped a nipple against my lips. There was no way I was turning her down. I opened my mouth wide and sucked her inside. We both groaned this time.
I laved my tongue around the tender flesh. God, I loved the feel of her skin inside my mouth. She slowly started pulling her breast out and I raked my teeth down it until I had her nipple between them. I bit down, stopping her movement. I flicked by my tongue hard over and over on the tip. She whimpered as her body moved restlessly against mine.
“Oh god, oh god, Bane,” she moaned.
I released her and she greedily put her other breast into my hot warmth. I repeated my actions. I licked, sucked, tugged and bit. Her body was writhing against mine seeking relief.
“I need you, I need you,” she cried out.
I let go of her tit and got a condom off the nightstand. She pushed up until she was kneeling beside me, grabbed the condom from me and frantically tore it open. She reached down, grabbed my cock and rolled the condom down over my length. In mere seconds, she swung her leg over me, held my rod up, then dropped down on me taking all of me inside her.
“Christ,” I gasped as pleasure coursed through me.
She planted her hands on my chest and started riding me. I looked down my body and watched as her pussy dragged up the length of my cock before slamming down on me, swallowing me whole before starting all over. I reached up and clasped her hips in my hands. Now with each downward move she made, I slammed her down harder while thrusting upward into her with as much force as I could.
My grunts were echoed by the sweet little noises she made each time I bottomed out in her.
“Fuck, Kenz. You feel so damn good, baby. I swear I can’t get enough of you.”
With each stroke I made, my eyes stayed glued to where our bodies were joined. I couldn’t get enough of watching her take me inside her hot heat. She flung her head back and her glorious red locks caressed my thighs. She ran her hands up to her breasts and started plucking her nipples.
“Holy fuck, babe. That’s fucking hot as hell watching you play with your tits,” I managed to groan out.
Our speed picked up, I was lifting her and pulling her down on my cock as hard as I could.
“Kenzie,” I moaned, “babe, rub your clit for me. I want to see you rub your clit. Open those pussy lips and let me watch you stroke yourself.”
Her breath hitched, her head came forward and she stared into my eyes. She lowered her hands down her body and I was helpless to do anything but watch her fingers glide over her smooth skin. With one hand, she used her fingers and parted her plump pussy lips letting me see her outer sweet spot, with the other, she ran two digits down the center of her mound across where she had herself stretched open until her fingers found her clit.
“Rub yourself,” I said hoarsely.
She did, moaning as she caressed herself.
“Push your fingers lower and get some of your sweet juices on them, then taste yourself,” I ground out.
I watched her push her fingers further back and felt them against my dick, she split her forefinger and middle finger open and pushed them back until my rod was encased by not only her pussy but her fingers.
“Fuuuuuccckkk,” I cried out at the pleasure.
“Taste yourself, do it now,” I ordered.
She pulled her fingers off my cock and I almost told her to put them back, only I wanted to watch her taste herself more. She stuck both fingers in her mouth and sucked.
I growled at the sight. She was so damn sexy. She tore her fingers out of her mouth and stuck them back between her legs until once again my cock was enveloped by her. Then she pulled them away, leaned forward and offered her fingers to me. I opened my mouth and greedily sucked on her digits.
Her breath hitched as she felt my tongue ravenously licking off the savory flavor from her fingers.
“Jesus, you taste so fucking good,” I said huskily. “Need you to rub your clit, Kenz. I’m about ready to blow.”
She thrust her fingers back over her clit and started flicking it hard. Watching her caused my balls to pull tight against my body. I was so close I wasn’t sure I could hold out until she came. She was making little mewling sounds that were driving me insane.
Knowing I wasn’t gonna last much longer, I flipped her over, raised one of her legs up high canting her hips, thrust my fingers on her clit and started stroking hard and fast with both my fingers and my cock.
It didn’t take but four thrusts and Kenzie’s pussy locked down tight on my dick and she screamed.
“Baaaaaannnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee.”
Hearing her call my name was all I needed, cum started pouring out of me filling the condom as I plunged over and over into her, keeping her orgasm going and mine too. Finally, my cock emptied itself and I let go of Kenzie’s leg which she let slide down the side of my body.
We were both dragging in deep gasps of air. I knew I was going to be late meeting Eagle and I didn’t fucking care. What had just happened between us had been out of this world. I wouldn’t have traded this time with her for anything. Slowly, I eased out of Kenzie and as I straightened up on my knees I saw that the condom had a small tear in it close to the tip, sperm was leaking out of it.
“Fuck, Kenzie,” I whispered in shock.
“What?”
“The condom tore a little.”
Her eyes widened and she dropped her gaze to where my hand was still holding the condom on my dick. She sucked in her breath when she saw my jizz on the outside of the rubber. Her eyes came back to mine and she swallowed hard.
“I think we’re safe. You know I just got off my period a few days ago.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re okay.”
I released a deep breath of relief. Kenzie couldn’t take birth control pills, they bothered her. She’d tried an IUD and it wouldn’t ever stay in place right. Our only form of birth control was me wearing condoms.
I didn’t want a kid and she wasn’t ready for one. We’d talked about this. I got up and walked to the bathroom, disposed of the faulty condom by flushing it down the toilet, cleaned myself up and walked back into the bedroom.
“Babe, I’m already late. I need to get to the Clubhouse,” I said as I grabbed my clothes and started dressing.
“Okay,’ she murmured as she got up to go to the bathroom.
I heard her pee then a screech came from the bathroom.
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe I left the door open and let you listen to me pee.”
I started laughing. Damn, this woman.
Then I heard the toilet flush. The water in the faucet came on, then shut off. As I was tying my boots, Kenzie walked out naked, blushing from head to toe. My eyes swept her body and damned if my cock didn’t start twitching. I stood up and Kenz looked at my jeans that were starting to tighten.
“I don’t know how the fuck you get me this hard so fast,” I muttered to her.
She smiled her wicked little smile, strutted up to me, stood on her tiptoes, wrapped her fingers in my hair, tugged my head downward and kissed the ever-living fuck out of me. By the time she pulled back, all I wanted to do was strip and get her ass back into bed. She lowered herself back on her feet, reached out with one hand and started stroking my cock through my jeans.
I groaned.
“You’re a witch. A tempting, teasing little witch,” I hissed out as pleasure raced through me.
Her laugh was low, seductive. She was a siren whose music was drawing me to her. With one last stroke, she turned and headed back to the bathroom. She paused before she entered, looked back over her shoulder and purred, “Think of me while you’re gone.”
I groaned again as I watched her heart shaped ass swing back and forth as she sashayed into the bathroom. I heard the water in the shower go on and I was torn. My ass didn’t want to leave the naked woman who was about to get into the shower. My cock sure didn’t want to leave. He wanted to go let her sit on him while she bounced on him in the shower.
If I hadn’t already said I would be there, it would have taken an army to get me out of this room. However, Eagle asked me to come. I’d already done enough damage to our friendship. I didn’t need to expound upon that further by not showing up.
“Woman, when I get back be prepared to be fucked senseless,” I called out.
Her voice rang back to me, “Promise, promises.”
“You got that right,” I hollered as I walked out of the bedroom door smiling. “That was a fucking promise.”
~***~
Chapter 16
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their favor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
~King Solomon~
Eagle
January 4th, 1999
I was in the Great Room drinking a beer and waiting on Bane. I’d hoped he would get here so we could have our conversation in this room, however, the Great Room was starting to fill up. I glanced at my phone again to check the time. He was late. I decided to cut hi
m some slack. He was having to drive in from Springdale. I was trying to decide where we could go talk when Bane walked into the room. He looked around, saw me and started striding in my direction.
“What’s up?” he spoke quietly.
“Wanna talk,” I murmured back.
He glanced around as I did and saw others gazing at us.
“Here?”
“No, we need to go somewhere else.”
He nodded.
“Do you want to go to the movie room or one of the unused bedrooms upstairs?” he asked, still keeping his voice low.
“Let’s go upstairs to one of the rooms.”
He lifted his chin and started walking toward the hallway. I got up and followed him. I know others were curious, yet, this wasn’t anyone’s business but ours. I followed him to one of the rooms not being used that was a good distance away from everyone else’s.
I walked into the room after him then I closed the door behind me. Thinking it would probably be a good idea not to be standing, I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against the door. Bane looked at me but stayed standing.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” I began as I studied my hands that were dangling off my upraised knees, “I’ve come to realize I can’t hold you accountable for everything that has gone on with Kenzie.”
I watched as Bane sank down onto the corner of the bed. The look on his face was one of shock.
“I can see that surprises you.”
“Yeah, you could say that. What’s made you come to that conclusion?” he inquired as he leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands between his legs.
I sighed.
“Up until a week ago, Bane, I blamed you for all of it. A week ago I guess you could say I had an epiphany. I realized that I never really gave Kenzie the chance to answer my question that night. Not that it was really a question, it was more like an ugly, vulgar sneer directed at her. I’d seen her squirming all over you, kissing you, and I saw red.”
I lifted one of my hands and dragged it down my face then put it back on my knee. I released a deep breath and continued.
Bane (Angel's Rebellion MC: #7) Page 14