Fated Hearts

by Garrett Leigh

  Zio was good at walking away from Devan. He was, apparently, becoming less proficient at staying away. Devan sensed his return less than an hour after he’d stormed out of the tent and braced himself for another fight.

  But as Zio approached, his emotions lacked the rage and aggression he’d left with. Devan tasted defeat and sadness that mingled with his own despair, and he closed his eyes. Gods, Zio, I wish things were different.

  Different how, he had yet to reconcile, but not this. Never this.

  Zio ghosted into the tent, his face the blank mask Devan was fighting so hard to maintain for himself. His hair was wet too and smelt of the river three miles away.

  “Did you go for a swim?”

  “Not on purpose.”

  Devan pursed his lips.

  Zio scowled. “Piss off. What do you care?”

  “As pack healer, if you can’t control yourself enough to keep from falling in the river, I care a lot.”

  “But not enough to—” Zio clamped his mouth shut and snatched a breath. “Sorry. I didn’t come back to have that fight again.”

  “I know.”

  “Of course you do.”

  “I don’t know everything you feel, though. Especially not about . . . this.”

  “Good, cos that would really piss me off considering I have zero clue how I feel about anything right now.”

  Zio had war-weary eyes, but in that moment he looked so young and confused that Devan’s resolve to never touch him again melted away. He rose up on his knees and held out his hands. “Come here.”

  “No.”

  “Come here.”

  Devan grabbed Zio’s hands and tugged him further into the tent, and then down to his level.

  Zio could’ve resisted. But he didn’t. He allowed Devan to manhandle him until they were sitting side by side on the mess of the bed they’d only shared once.

  Devan squeezed his hands. “I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I need you to know that I could’ve prevented this.”

  “Prevented it? How?”

  “That night, in the club. I knew what happened to us there wasn’t normal, but I convinced myself I’d never see you again, and then when I did . . . I don’t know. Maybe I was caught up in the bond before I realised it, or maybe I was just too arrogant to believe I couldn’t control it.”

  “You knew.” Zio spoke slowly, his words carrying no weight of accusation, but Devan shook his head.

  “I didn’t know anything for sure, and things kept changing . . . evolving. Sometimes I thought for real I’d have to do something to stop it; others I thought I was a fucking lunatic.”

  “I like it when you curse.”

  “What?”

  “When you swear. It makes me laugh.”

  “Yeah, well. I like it when you laugh, so call it even?”

  “I don’t think anyone’s winning here.”

  Devan’s arm slipped, unbidden, around Zio’s shoulders. “I was lying earlier when I said everything between us was biology. It’s not. I like you, and I wish we’d had the chance to enjoy each other without this complication.”

  Zio hummed, leaning into Devan’s embrace whether he knew it or not. “I wish you hadn’t come back. Shit, I wish I’d never met you, but I’m glad you’re staying. Thinking I’d never see you again was fucking me up.”

  “It’s going to be really hard. We can’t fool around anymore. The risk of losing control and biting each other is too great.”

  “Biting completes the bond, right? I mean, I know it does for wolves, but I wasn’t sure if it was the same for you.”

  “We don’t have to bite for a bond to solidify, sometimes the mating process is enough, but the strongest bonds are formed around both. I’d imagine your desire to bite me will be the same as if I were a wolf.”

  Arousal scented the air, instant, consuming, demanding.

  Zio shuddered. “I never knew I wanted to bite you until you left. Then it was all I could think about. Mostly. I thought about other stuff too.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like if you were thinking about biting me, or mating. What I’d say if you came back and told me you wanted to.”

  Don’t ask him, don’t ask him, don’t ask him. “Did you ever figure it out?”

  “No. I mean, I know I want all those things on a physical level, that the bond is making me want those things more than anything else, but I don’t know how I feel about the rest of it. My head . . . it’s never an easy place to be at the best of times. Right now, I feel like I’m underwater.”

  It was probably the most Zio had ever spoken to Devan at any one time, and every word made a sickening sense. In another world, another life, if they’d been born into different bodies, perhaps the decision to be together would’ve been easy. They’d have known each other well enough to love one another. To lie down on the forest floor and let instinct own them. But they couldn’t do that, not now, and maybe not ever.

  Zio broke the silence with a heavy sigh. “I’ve got to lead patrol tonight. I don’t think you should come.”

  “What if you need me?”

  “We have radio comms.”

  “That won’t work in wolf form.”

  “I know, but it’s all I have right now. I can’t handle the idea of you being in danger, and if the last time we saw each other is anything to go by, it’s as bad in reverse.”

  Devan couldn’t deny it. “I’ll take a radio and keep my distance, but I can’t promise I won’t kill anyone who tries to hurt you.”

  Zio sniggered. “There was me thinking it was a one-time thing.”

  “Zio?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Shut up.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Devan squeezed his phone so hard the metal case bowed. “Do you think I’d be safe from it if I sat underwater?”

  Dash’s gentle chuckle was marred by the crackly connection. “Maybe. But you’d have to come up for air eventually, and then what?”

  I’d go back down and stay there forever. Who needs air anyway?

  Dash laughed again—he didn’t need a physical connection to know what Devan was thinking. Then he sighed, humour gone as if it had never been there at all. “To be honest, I have no idea what would make this easier for you. My own bond was fulfilled before I truly knew what it was. I’ve never longed for Luca the way you will for the wolf because he has always been with me.”

  “Can you imagine how it would feel if he wasn’t? Or if he was, but you couldn’t be, like, actually with him?”

  “No, Devan. Such a thing . . . I couldn’t contemplate it. It’s unfathomable to me.”

  “You’re not really helping,” Devan grumbled before he remembered he was talking to his most respected alpha, but Dash was like that, so . . . normal it was easy to forget he was among the most powerful shifters the world had ever seen. He’s so human. A quality Devan had often admired, but today he resented it. I need guidance, not friendship. And the sense that Dash wasn’t telling him everything made him want to scream. “I don’t know how long I can do this for. When he’s close, I want him so much I don’t care about anything else, and when he’s gone, I can’t rest until he comes back.”

  “That’ll get easier.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Why don’t you know? You’re hundreds of years old. You must’ve seen this before.”

  “It’s true, I’ve seen bonds, Devan. And I can share with you, second hand, of course, the experiences of many others who’ve lived through this process, but they won’t be yours, because we are all different.”

  “So you’ve never ordered anyone else to live in the pocket of someone they’re forbidden to bond with?”

  “No, and I’ll regret to my last days that we’ve asked this of you. Devan, if you know nothing else, please believe that I’m doing all I can to end this before your bond with the wolf fades.”

  “And then what?”

  “And then you will be free, bo
th of you, to choose your path.”

  “This war has lasted decades. What makes you think you can end it before this bond fades?”

  Dash sighed. “There are many things I can’t tell you.”

  Devan closed his eyes, hopelessness washing over him. He’d called Dash for reassurance, for the soothing tone of his alpha’s voice, the comfort that was lacking in his fledgling relationship with Varian, and that had never existed between him and Luca. Dash was his sire. His father, of sorts. And until this moment, his best friend.

  But Dash’s world was far greater than Devan; his responsibilities stretched wider than Devan could ever contemplate. He can’t help me. And as he bid Dash goodbye, he realised no one could. The pain in his chest was permanent, until it wasn’t, and when it had passed, Devan would mourn its loss for the rest of his existence.

  He ended the call and resumed his stare-off with the river. The moonlight danced on the fast-flowing water, shimmering, and frost crunched on the ground. If not for the oppressive clutch of war in the air, the night might’ve been beautiful. But the unrelenting flow of the river matched the edginess grating him and didn’t occupy him for long. Restless, he sprang to his feet and scaled a nearby tree. His night vision was stronger than that of the wolves, but as he scanned the horizon, he saw nothing of the small patrol group Zio had taken out a few hours earlier. He scented the air, testing for blood. Reached out for his connections with the wolves on the ground, but nothing came back. Wherever they were, it would take Devan too long to find them if anything went wrong.

  Growling, he dropped to the ground. The radio Michael had presented him with the morning after his return fell from his back pocket. In four days, it had yet to make a sound. The temptation to kick it into the water was strong, but fear that he might miss something won out, and so he stayed by the water, straining every sense, every nerve. Zio, where are you?

  A wolf approached from behind. Devan reached out but found nothing but the shifter’s identity. Devan had healed most wolves in the border force by now in one way or another, but not the quietest of Zio’s closest companions. Not Michael. “Everything okay?”

  Michael sat on a rock a few feet from where Devan paced. “I think so. They’ll be back soon, I think.”

  “How can you tell?”

  Michael glanced at the sky. “It’s nearly dawn. If there’s been no fighting, Danielo will want his breakfast.”

  Devan snorted. “That’s your barometer for the safety of your pack mates?”

  “If I’m wrong, I’ll give you the extra bacon he sneaks on my plate.”

  “That’s cute.”

  “I try.”

  The conversation lapsed, but Devan was used to that with Michael. Despite the close-knit pack, Michael was somewhat of a lone wolf. He didn’t say much or ask for much in return.

  “Are you going to complete your bond?”

  Devan sighed. Scratch that. Maybe Michael was as annoying as everyone else seemed to be right now. “Why are you asking me that?”

  “Because Zio’s my brother.”

  “So ask him.”

  “He’s never here.”

  “And there’s your answer.”

  Michael ticked an eyebrow up. “Where? Come on, man. Zio doesn’t tell us shit. I know it’s your business, but we can’t watch him get hurt. It’s not fair.”

  Devan sucked in a shaky breath. “Believe me, hurting him is the last thing on my mind.”

  “So why not complete the bond and get it over with? I know it’s weird that you’re from different packs . . . clans, whatever you call it where you’re from, but it doesn’t really matter, does it?”

  “Not to me, and maybe not to Zio, I have no idea where he is on that, but it’s bigger than the two of us. I was loaned to you as a healer, not a fighter. Peace between my clan and the southern wolf packs depends on that.”

  “So don’t fight.”

  “Impossible if I thought someone was threatening my mate—you know what happened when the bond triggered. And regardless, it’s about perception. I’m Shadow Clan, Michael. If I pick a side, it would start a war far bigger than this.”

  “I thought Danielo was being dramatic when he said that.”

  “Danielo? Dramatic? No.”

  Michael huffed out a grunt. “So you really do have to wait it out and hope it fades without killing you?”

  “Now you’re being dramatic.”

  “Not really. Unrequited bonds can kill a wolf.”

  “What?”

  “It’s rare,” Michael said. “And more common in hereditary shifters than those changed by the bite, but it happens. It killed my father’s cousin. When I was a kid, my mum used to say he’d died of a broken heart.”

  Devan absorbed Michael’s words and matched them with Luca’s. “We cannot separate you from the wolf while the bond remains unfulfilled. The risk to him is too great.”

  No.

  That can’t be true.

  But one look at Michael’s earnest face told Devan that it was. Fulfilling the bond risked the lives of every soul Zio cared about, but ignoring it could cost him his own life. “Does he know?”

  “Zio?”

  “Yes. Does he know he’s at risk?”

  Michael slowly shook his head. “I don’t think so. He’s never been interested in pack history, he doesn’t pay attention to conversations that don’t directly affect him, and I don’t think Varian wants him to know.”

  Comprehension dawned in Devan’s bond-clouded brain. “That’s why you came to find me, isn’t it? Because Varian ordered you not to tell him?”

  Michael locked his gaze with Devan’s. “Yes. And I get why Zio worrying he’s going to drop dead at any moment isn’t going to do him any favours, but you need to know how dangerous this is for him. Fuck the rest of the world, Devan. Don’t let politics kill my brother.”

  Zio knew something had changed the moment he got back. After a long—and boring—night on patrol, he’d braced himself to face Devan’s inevitable absence. The trail of his scent as he’d left the camp in response to Zio’s return. The empty tent. And the gnawing hunger in his gut he could never sate.

  But as he led his team out of the woods, a fire burnt bright in the centre of the camp, tended to by Michael, while Devan cooked sizzling bacon and stirred a vat of scrambled eggs.

  “The fuck is going on here?” he murmured. “Michael’s never lit a fire in his life.”

  Danielo bounded past him. “Who cares? I’m starving.”

  “Of course you are.” Zio rolled his eyes, but that didn’t stop the guilt he felt for keeping his team out long after sunrise. Patrol had been uneventful, like it had been ever since Devan had shifted and apparently scared every enemy unit away, but unsatisfied by the quiet, Zio had circled back again and again, checking and rechecking until the collective rumble of the wolves behind him had convinced him to come home.

  Diligent or avoiding Devan? It was hard to tell once the pull between them reignited, Devan’s close proximity, though he’d yet to glance Zio’s way, bringing Zio to life.

  Zio took an unconscious step forward. Stopped. Stepped back. Michael noticed his struggle and nudged Devan. Blue eyes found Zio’s. Devan set his spatula down and shouldered through hungry wolves to get to Zio.

  He stopped a foot away, hands twitching at his sides. “Morning.”

  “Morning.” Zio kicked at a stone. “What’s all this?”

  “Thought you might be hungry.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ve been out all night. Come. Eat.”

  “Thanks, but I’m going to crash.”

  “Uh-huh. After breakfast. Come.”

  Devan’s tone shot heat straight to Zio’s groin. Warmth pooled in his belly, and his treacherous feet reclaimed the step he’d retreated. “I need to sleep.”

  But his protest was weak, rooted in nothing. Devan took his hand and tugged him to the fire, and Zio was powerless to resist.

  He sat beside Danielo as Michael
and Devan served breakfast to the returning patrol and then handed out leftovers to the rest of the camp. They’d cooked enough for an army far bigger than Zio had, and even when he was full, the food kept coming.

  Danielo was like a pig in shit, but Zio’s appetite—though he was hungrier than he cared to admit—was far smaller. At Devan’s third attempt to refill his plate, he pushed him away. “Stop. You’re going to kill me.”

  Devan flinched.

  Zio’s overfull stomach turned over. “I didn’t mean it literally. I’ve just had enough, okay?”

  Devan shook himself. “Of course. Sorry. You want to go to bed?”

  “Please—” Gods, stop talking. Zio cringed and tried again. “Yeah. I’m knackered.”

  He stood and backed up, expecting Devan to stay put. But Devan ditched the plate he’d been brandishing and darted to his side. “Come on then.”

  “You’re coming with me?”

  “Yup. Unless you’d rather I slept with Danielo and—”

  “What? Fuck no.”

  Devan stopped walking. “I can, you know. I mean, not sleep with Danielo, but swap tents or try and not be around when you need to sleep. I can’t go far . . . I can’t be away from you like that, but if it’s easier for you if I’m not here, I can make that happen.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Go anywhere.” Zio gave in to the urge to grab Devan’s hands. “I know it’ll probably make things worse, but I’m so fucking tired, I can’t deal with you not being close. It hurts that we can’t . . . be what we want, but I just need . . . fuck, I don’t know what I need.”

  Devan’s gaze pierced Zio’s soul as he read Zio, tasted his every emotion, and for once Zio didn’t mind that his heart was no longer private. That it had belonged to Devan long before either of them had known it. If their connection saved him having to explain the riot currently occupying his entire being, he could dig it.

  He closed his eyes. Please.

  Devan cupped Zio’s face with a warm, grounding palm. “Of course. Let’s go.”

  Hand in hand they drifted to their tent. Far from the chaos Zio had left it in the previous evening, Devan had apparently been busy. Michael too, if the scent lingering in the air was anything to go by.