Fated Hearts

by Garrett Leigh

  “Nothing.” Devan folded his arms across his chest. “Just ignore me, okay? I’m not . . . feeling myself today.”

  Zio slid from the rock he’d been perched on and moved so fast he was a blur until he was suddenly right in front of Devan, crowding his personal space with his bewitching scent. “I upset you, didn’t I?”

  “When?”

  “When I said our bond would fade and we could be friends. You’ve been in a bad mood since then.”

  Devan was used to sampling the emotions of those around him, not having his own served up to him on a plate. “I’m not in a bad mood. I’m frustrated.”

  “With me?”

  “No. Yes. I don’t know.”

  “I didn’t mean it.”

  “Mean what?”

  Zio flinched. “When I said it would fade. It’s not going to, is it?”

  Devan let his hands follow their natural path to Zio’s hips, pulling him impossibly closer, then sliding his palms under Zio’s clothes. Skin contact calmed him and settled Zio too. “I didn’t like it when you seemed relieved by the possibility that this could all go away. That you might want to go back to your life before you met me. The human in me understands and maybe even feels the same. I don’t know. But I’m not human, and neither are you. Our bond exists, and I want it. I want you.”

  “That’s what it means,” Zio whispered, his gaze distant, as though he spoke only to himself.

  Devan gave him a moment, then brushed his lips along his jaw, barely resisting the urge to scent Zio as his teeth lengthened and venom filled his mouth. Bite him.

  “Fuck.” He pulled back, retracting his claws. “Sorry.”

  “What for?”

  Devan growled and banged his head on Zio’s shoulder, hard enough to hurt them both had they not possessed strong shifter bones. “Everything? I have no idea at this point. It feels like every breath I take makes it hurt more.”

  Helplessness tainted Zio’s emotions. The healer in Devan longed to soothe him, but no words came. What could he say? Whichever way they turned, their situation was hopeless unless they disobeyed their alphas and set a grenade beneath a war that had already killed thousands of shifters on both sides.

  “Devan.” Zio eased two fingers under Devan’s chin, pushing gently until Devan met his gaze. “I’ve said and thought a hundred times that I wish I’d never met you, but it’s not true. We might not ever get to see what this could’ve been, but it’s still everything to me. Before . . . fuck, before you, Emma was the only person I’ve ever felt understood me, but with you, it’s even more than that. I feel like, I dunno, you are me, the good parts, at least. I can’t give that up. I won’t.”

  A fluttering sensation stirred in Devan’s gut. “What are you saying?”

  Zio sucked in a breath and fixed Devan with a steely gaze. “That we have to hold on, however long it takes. Protect what we have until we can make it permanent. I have my orders and so do you, but I won’t take anymore. Devan, you will be mine.”

  Devan straightened and, with herculean effort, pushed Zio away. “Go over there and say that.”

  “What?”

  “Go,” Devan growled out. “I need to hear you say it when we’re not entangled. When you’re not as hypnotised by me as I am by you.”

  Zio backed up, moving steadily until he was as far away as Devan’s heart could take, a genuine grin warming his usual flinty features. “Which part do you need me to repeat? That you’re mine, or that I’m prepared to wait for you as long as it takes?”

  “Those parts will do, and I don’t need you to repeat it. I need you to be sure it’s what you want.”

  “I am sure, Devan. Don’t treat me like a child.”

  As if Devan ever could. “You’re a warrior, Zio. I’ve never seen you as anything else.”

  “Nothing else?”

  “Don’t be pedantic.” It was Devan’s turn to close the distance between them in a flash. He shoved Zio against a tree and wedged a knee between his thighs. “But if this is what you dragged me out here for, there was really no need. We could’ve had this conversation in the tent.”

  “No, we couldn’t,” Zio said. “We’ve been together and apart, at war and naked in bed, but we’ve never truly been alone since the bond triggered. You were right to push me away and make me say it again, but you were too late. I’ve already lived twenty-one years without you. All I needed to be sure was to be here, Devan, with you.”

  Devan wondered who had swapped Zio’s surly self for a young shifter so eloquent he was almost poetic. This is a dream; it has to be.

  But it wasn’t. The primal, desperate urge to bite Zio, to claim him, reignited stronger than ever. He pushed up against Zio, his desires clear.

  Zio moaned and pushed back, hips canting to meet Devan, hard and demanding.

  Devan bared his teeth, and only the alpha commands seared on his soul stopped him from following through. He groaned and rubbed his cheek against Zio’s. “If we’re going to hold on, we need to hold off.”

  “We could do it in secret,” Zio whispered, gaze now hazy with instincts he couldn’t control. “No one would know.”

  Devan chuckled. “They would. Your squad is young, but any shifter, wolf or otherwise, that’s been around bonds, would know we’d completed it in a heartbeat. They’d smell it on us, sense the shift in our behaviour, our reactions to certain things. Besides, it’s too dangerous while you’re fighting. I’ve already killed for you . . . If we were properly bonded? I’d burn the world down.”

  “Gods.” Zio shuddered. “I believe you because I’ve seen it, and my wolf liked it . . . it felt right, you know? But it scared me too. You were so different that day.”

  Devan eased away from Zio’s body, every instinct he possessed screaming at him to do the opposite. “I was different that day, and I haven’t been the same since. Even without . . . us, being in my animal skin was something I needed to do, and not being able to do it now is driving me slowly mad. Have you ever been in a situation where you can’t shift for weeks at a time? Months? Years?”

  Comprehension dawned in Zio’s dark gaze. “That’s what’s bothering you?”

  “I think so. I didn’t realise it until I said it, and gods, there’s other things going on too, but . . . yeah. I miss running free.”

  “Then do it.”

  “I can’t. It’s part of the agreement my alphas have with the southern packs—that I don’t fight, shift, or do anything to bring my clan into the war.”

  “Surely that means you can’t shift to fight. Not that you can’t shift at all.”

  Devan sifted through his jumbled memories of the conversation he’d had with Luca in a place that had seemed like the end of the world. “…barring self-defence, you do not fight again, nor do you complete your bond with their soldier.” He hadn’t outright forbidden Devan to shift— But Varian did, remember? “I can’t do it.”

  “You can.” A low growl punctuated Zio’s words. “We’re nowhere near the fighting—we’re nowhere near anything. We can shift and run for miles without anyone knowing. And I’ll tell Varian the truth when we get back—that you had to shift for your own well-being. He’s not a monster, either. If it doesn’t put the pack at risk, he’ll understand.”

  “But—”

  “No, Devan. You take care of everyone else; let me take care of this for you. Shift. Run. Be your truth, even if it’s just for a moment.”

  Devan couldn’t remember a time when Zio asking anything of him wasn’t so compelling he felt weak at the knees. Combined with the impatient beast demanding release, he stood no chance. He closed his eyes and summoned the power that would set him free. Bones lengthened and snapped. Senses came to life.

  He shifted.

  Zio’s wolf was fast, but Devan’s tiger was faster. The white cat zipped through the trees, bounding from fallen trunks and rocks as Zio raced to keep up. Wind and rain. Paws on the frosty ground. The aroma of damp earth merged with unmistakable scents of two excited shifters
. Zio drank it all in, howling with delight in the rare moments he got close enough to Devan to nip his flank.

  It was almost like running with his brothers, save the heady aura that kept pace with them, never to be outrun.

  A few miles in, Devan slowed and jerked his head forwards, message clear: show me the way.

  Zio shoulder-barged him on his way past. Gladly.

  More miles disappeared as Zio led Devan through forests and open countryside. They climbed north into territory that hadn’t seen a southern wolf in centuries. Stride by stride, the shackles of war and responsibility slipped away. With Devan a heartbeat behind, for the first time in forever, Zio tasted freedom. He ran on and on and on, until a familiar landmark came into view.

  He skidded to a stop and dropped his head to let the bag he carried around his neck fall to the ground. Then he shifted back to his human form and turned to face Devan.

  Blue eyes gazed back at him, wide and gleaming in Devan’s black-and-white face.

  Zio combed his fingers through soft fur. “I’m gonna walk the rest of the way. Come with me?”

  Devan tilted his head sideways, absorbing Zio’s touch, then a shimmer took him away.

  He returned, very human and very naked.

  Zio smirked, noting that the cold air had no effect on Devan’s body either. “Ready?”

  Devan shrugged. “Of course.”

  Zio shouldered his bag and grabbed Devan’s hand, tugging him over the rocky terrain until they came to a sheltered path on the hillside.

  “I hear water,” Devan said. “Is there a spring nearby?”

  “You’ll see.”

  Moments later, the pathway opened out again, revealing the gentle waterfall that tumbled down the hill. It was no Niagara Falls, but for northern England, it was glorious.

  Devan stretched his arm under the spray, cupping crystal clear water in his hand. He brought it to his face and took a sip. “This water is magic.”

  “I know. Emma brought me here a long time ago.”

  “Did she use it in her work?”

  “I don’t know. She talked a lot about stuff like that, but I didn’t always listen.”

  “Why not?”

  Zio shrugged and joined Devan by the water. “I didn’t know how much it mattered.”

  “But you do now?”

  “Of course I do. Without it, everyone I care about would’ve died three times over.”

  Devan hummed and dripped water down Zio’s back. “I never realised how exhausting it was to use my gifts twenty-four seven. Some days I feel almost human.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Zio stepped closer to Devan, his shoulder catching the spray from the fall. The water was shockingly cold, and he gasped.

  Devan smirked. “See? Magic.”

  Zio caught a palmful of water and tipped it down Devan’s chest. A tiny shudder passed through Devan, and Zio felt it in every bone. “Magic enough to let us forget anything else exists while we’re here?”

  “Maybe.”

  Devan dropped his hands to Zio’s hips and pulled him flush against him. Desire flared. Zio gasped again, but this time it was heat, not frigid cold, and his cock rose to meet Devan’s.

  They hadn’t been truly intimate for weeks. A few near misses had barely scratched the surface, dampened down by circumstance and responsibility. But as Devan brushed his lips along Zio’s jaw, ties that bound them to the rest of the world faded to black. Wants and needs roared to life. The alpha orders forbidding Zio from bonding to his mate dulled to a distant hum.

  “Zio.” Devan’s whisper broke through. “We can’t fuck—I can’t control myself—but we can do this, we can just be . . . for a little while, please?”

  As if Zio could refuse him. He tugged Devan under the spray in the hope that perhaps the cool water would gift them perspective, then he kissed Devan, kissed him and kissed him and kissed him, and for as long as they stood under the waterfall, war was forgotten.

  They were alone.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Devan reached the brow of the hill and scented the air. Zio was ahead of him, but their return journey held none of the promise of before. As darkness fell, so did Devan’s mood, and lead laced his every step. He wanted to chase after Zio, but the reality that doing so would bring them closer to the last place on earth Devan wanted to be kept him dragging his heels.

  Eventually, Zio noticed his slow pace and doubled back. He nosed Devan and whined.

  Devan shook his head and shifted into his human form. “Sorry. I don’t want to go.”

  Zio whined again, then shifted back too, brown eyes hooded and sad. “I don’t want to go either, and I wish something had changed while we were out here.”

  “Something between us?”

  “Maybe. I kind of wish we’d fucked, bitten, and bonded so it was done and we couldn’t take it back—”

  “Zio—”

  “Yeah, yeah. I know all the bollocks that comes with it. We’ve been over it a thousand times, and I’m sick to fucking death of it. I just—fuck, I don’t know. I wanted to make you happy, for a little while, at least. I’m sorry if I’ve made it worse.”

  “You haven’t made it worse. I’ve had the best day.”

  “Really?” Zio’s expression brightened enough to lift Devan’s flagging spirits.

  Devan smiled. “Of course. You think rolling around in the sun with you isn’t my idea of a good time? It was magical.”

  And it was. If the world ended tonight, the sensation of the winter sun on his back while Zio’s lips were fused to his would be seared on Devan’s soul forever.

  Zio retrieved his bag from the ground and opened it. He pulled out clothes and handed them to Devan. “Fuck it. Let’s walk.”

  “As humans?”

  “Yeah. Why not?”

  “Because we won’t get back until dawn.”

  “So? There’s a hundred shifters in that camp now. No one will miss us.”

  Devan didn’t believe for one minute that Zio wasn’t fretting about getting back to his brothers. He wanted Zio all to himself until the end of time, but life was never going to be that way, and Devan didn’t want it to be. Biology had brought them together. Mutual respect and an ever-growing love would keep them together. “They’re already missing us. We have to get back, but before we go, can I kiss you again—”

  Zio’s lips cut him off, fierce and demanding before he drew back and shook Devan slightly. “Never ask me for anything that’s already yours.”

  “Mine?”

  “Yours.”

  Devan’s smile widened. There was much to be despondent about, but he couldn’t deny the kick he got out of witnessing the effect their potential bond had on Zio. To see him turn from fearsome, to gentle, to territorial, all in the blink of an eye. Perhaps one day, Zio would utter those words and they’d take root, mean something more than wishful longing. “We need to go.”

  Zio licked his lips. “I know.”

  It would’ve been so easy to let the heat between them rise again, but Devan fought it, searched hard for the alpha orders keeping them apart, and allowed the hold that shifter lore had over both of them to win out. He kissed Zio one more time. Twice. Three times. Then he shoved the clothes back in the bag and shifted.

  He towered over human Zio and propelled him forwards, ignoring Zio’s indignant grumble. Let’s go.

  They reached the outskirts of the camp far quicker than either of them wanted to. A mile out, they shifted back and dressed in the dark.

  Zio pulled his combat trousers on and scented Devan’s throat. “I can smell that you’ve shifted. Do you think anyone else will notice?”

  “Probably not. I don’t think anyone else is as attuned to how I smell as you are.”

  Zio smirked, but his expression sobered a split second later. “Varian will know.”

  “Maybe.” Devan stamped into his shoes and plucked twigs from his hair. “But he didn’t outright order me not to shift ag
ain, so I haven’t defied him. Besides, I didn’t shift to fight his war, and we stayed in safe territory, so it should be fine.”

  “Should be,” Zio deadpanned. “Awesome. And it’s not Varian’s war. It belongs to every wolf that doesn’t want to be ruled by despotic southern wankers, thank you very much.”

  “Every shifter. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not a wolf.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  “Glad we’ve cleared that up.” Dressed, Devan snagged Zio’s bag and slung it over his back. He jerked his head in the direction of the camp, then blinked hard as a wave of dizziness hit him. It was fleeting, gone in a flash, but in the time it took to pass, Zio had moved.

  “What just happened?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.” Zio gripped Devan’s face. “What happened?”

  “Nothing. I’m tired, that’s all. Let’s roll.”

  Zio frowned.

  Devan nudged him. “Seriously. I’m fine. Healing just does weird things to me sometimes. You must’ve seen it in Emma.”

  It was a low blow, but it worked. Zio’s face settled into his trademark scowl, and they set off for home.

  They hiked down the hill and into the forest. Devan revelled in Zio’s scent all over him and couldn’t help stopping every few minutes to bury his face in Zio’s neck. Their time together was running out, but he clung to it anyway. Who knew when they’d find more precious moments like these?

  The scent of woodsmoke reached them, and it was Zio’s turn to trail to a stop. He spun around and backed Devan against a tree. He didn’t speak. Didn’t have to. Just breathed Devan in.

  Devan ran gentle fingers up the nape of Zio’s neck and wove them into his wild hair. Zio smelt the same as he always did—of the earth he could bend to his will, of hope and promise, of blood and war. Zio was life and death, like Devan, but so very different it was hard to see how they fit together.

  But they did fit together, flesh upon flesh, bone to bone. Even their breaths came as one.

  Devan nosed the spot on Zio’s neck he’d dreamed of biting a thousand times over. His teeth ached and venom pooled in his mouth. He wondered if the instincts flooding him would ever fade, if long after he’d bitten Zio and made him his own, the soul-deep craving for him would remain.