Reappearance of Summmer

by D J Small

  Summer had half a mind to jump across the table and beat the old woman with her own cane, but after drawing in a deep breath, she gripped the arms of her chair tightly and said, “Mrs. Russell, expanding to assist veterans and their families will not take away from the core aspects of the foundation. In fact, many of them are the hungry, homeless, and neglected elements of this country. The fact that our government does the bare minimum to help them is appalling, and I will not let it continue.”

  She took a moment to reel in her emotion then added, “And this is not the White House’s idea, it is mine. It would serve you well to get on board, or perhaps we should start talking about your retirement.”

  The room fell silent, but Philomena sputtered, aghast by the threat on her position. “Matthew, your father would not allow his grandchild to speak to me this way. I would recommend getting your daughter under control, or perhaps you can’t since you’ve let her run amok these last few years.”

  That was the final straw. Summer stood from her chair and placed her hands on top of the conference table before leaning forward. Her intense gaze met the old woman’s eyes. “I am the chairman of this board. Not my father, not my mother, but me. I would have held a vote to get you off the board the moment I was appointed, but you have been a part of this foundation a long time, Mrs. Russell. Do not jeopardize it with your haughty attitude.” Summer stood up straight and looked around the table and at the holo-screen her parents’ video feed was on, waiting for someone to say something. When the silence continued, she said, “Let us proceed. We are now going to vote on the foundation opening offices in Washington D.C.”

  The vote didn’t take long, and ten minutes later Summer shook hands with the members of the board who supported her proposal to bring the foundation to Washington. Philomena was not among them. Howard came up to Summer and gave her a quick hug as he chuckled, “Not only did you put the old bird in her place, but you also got your D.C. offices. How does it feel?”

  Summer shook her head and chuckled. “I am quite surprised to be honest.” It was the truth. She had won by one vote, and what shocked her even more was that it had come from her mom.

  Howard squeezed her shoulder and smiled. “You made a compelling argument, one even your mother couldn’t say no to.” He glanced at his watch. “I have to get going. I’ve got a meeting in New Manhattan, so I’ve got a rail to catch. I will call you when you get back from California about location hunting.”

  Summer nodded and said, “Okay. Thank you, Howard.”

  The two of them walked out of the conference room, and after Summer had bid Howard a final goodbye, Nina came up to her and said, “The press are here, and they are quite anxious to hear your announcement.”

  Summer’s chest constricted, and she tried to breathe her way through the panic that had begun to take hold of her. The press conference was a necessary evil, however, Summer couldn’t do it. The thought of being under the press’s scrutiny, beneath those bright lights, sent her in downward spiral to a terrible place. Summer felt the signs of a coming panic attack and quickly said to Nina, “Show me to the nearest bathroom. Now.”

  The two of them went down a side hall and entered the ladies’ room. Summer walked over to the row of sinks and gripped the edge of the counter. “Go stall them. Tell them I’m on an important call.”

  “Okay, but are you all right? You don’t—”

  “Stall the press, Nina.” Summer snapped as she continued to focus on her breathing while staring down at the white porcelain basin in front of her.

  “Okay,” Nina said with a small sigh.

  Summer heard the bathroom door open then close, and she dropped her chin to her chest, letting her eyes slip close. She kept telling herself this would be a quick ten-minute press conference, and once it was done she could go back to passing such duties off to someone else. As she let go of the edge of the counter, Summer grunted. Addressing the press would last longer than ten minutes. This would be her first press conference in two years, and after her latest stint in the White House, the reporters were going to bombard her with questions.

  Summer turned on the faucet and splashed cool water on her face. It helped lower her anxiety a bit, but not by much. She was in the middle of drying her face off with a paper towel when her phone started to go off. Summer groaned and pulled the device out of her pocket. After ordering it to answer the call she said, “Hello?”

  “Summer, I thought I would call and congratulate you on getting your D.C. offices,” her mother said.

  Summer gave a brief, sarcastic chuckle and remarked, “This is all your doing. Why did you change your vote? You were adamantly against the D.C. offices.” A thought came to her. “Did you do it just to see me fail? Because I won’t, no matter what you and dad think.”

  “No, I didn’t change my vote because I thought you would fail. I—” She stopped, and the line fell silent for a few seconds. Summer heard her mother sigh before she continued. “After seeing how passionate you were about helping the veterans and wanting to do more, I couldn’t vote against that. Your father and I have always wanted you to be involved with the foundation, and it seems you have found something that not only interests you, but also enriches it.”

  In truth, the veterans program wasn’t about Summer finding something that interested her. Her motivation for creating it was purely personal. If she weren’t well off, Summer could have easily been one of the many veterans she wanted to help. From losing a limb to the psychological fallout she dealt with, Summer felt tremendously for her fellow veterans and wanted to help them, even if she couldn’t help herself. “This program means a lot to me so thank you, mom,” Summer said, hoping her true emotions were conveyed through her tone.

  “Don’t thank me,” Cassandra commented with a small chuckle. “You had a compelling case.” She sighed. “I will let you get to your press conference, but your father and I are proud of you, and we’re excited to see where you take this program.”

  “Thanks,” Summer said with a small smile. After telling Summer goodbye, Cassandra ended the call, and Summer stared at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. There was one thing she could do to help her get through the press conference, but Summer didn’t know if she could go through with it. Not only did it make her feel vulnerable, but she also felt guilty for even thinking about it. She expelled a heavy breath. “Mobile, call Addison Connors.” She hated herself for what she was about to do.

  The line rang a few times, then Addison answered, “Good afternoon, Colonel. What can I help you with?”

  The professional tone made Summer smirk. “I need to speak with Val.”

  The line went eerily quiet, and Summer was almost about to see if the call was still connected, but then Addison asked, “What do you need to speak with her about?”

  Summer drew in a deep breath and released it through her nose. The question was a loaded one, but it was also none of Addison’s business. “Addison, I need to talk to her, please.” It was as close to begging as Summer would get.

  Addison huffed in annoyance. “Give me a moment.”

  Summer chewed on the inside of her lip as she waited. The longer time dragged on, the closer she got to ending the call. Somewhere around the three-minute mark, Summer opened her mouth to instruct the phone to end the call, but then the soft sound of Val’s voice came through the speaker. “Hello, Colonel Hawkins. My chief of staff tells me you would like to speak with me.”

  The officious tone and the formal greeting threw Summer, but hearing Val’s voice had a soothing effect on her. She drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. “What’s with the formality?”

  “You started with the formalities,” Val bit back, and Summer held her bottom lip between her teeth as she started to believe that making the call had been a mistake. She shook her head and tried to get rid of the doubt and apprehension her self-loathing had created. There was a reason why she had called Val. “Summer, I am in the middle of an important meeting. What do you wan
t?”

  Summer let out a deep sigh, and with some reluctance she asked in a low voice, “Can you do the thing?”

  “What thing?” Val said, sounding more than confused.

  Summer released another long breath. It was bad enough she had a hard time asking for this, but having to explain to Val what she needed was more than humiliating. After a brief internal battle on if she should continue with the call, Summer gave an aggravated growl. “You know, the thing.”

  “Summer, I have no idea what you’re—” She came to an abrupt stop. “Oh. That thing.”

  Summer scowled at her reflection. Having to rely on Val to get her through this mental block irritated her.

  “Okay, but before I do the thing, I have a question to ask you.”

  “I knew I shouldn’t have done this,” Summer muttered.

  “But you did,” Val retorted with some sarcasm. “You called me because I am the only person who can give you the assurance you need. This also means there is no one else you trust to get this from.”

  The frown on Summer’s face grew more severe. To have her ex-wife call her out on a weakness that would probably damn her for the rest of her life was more than insulting. “What’s your question?” Summer forced out through gritted teeth.

  The line grew quiet, and with it came a mounting tension that made Summer’s heart pound inside her chest. A plethora of possible questions ran wild in her mind. After a long minute, Val asked in a faint voice, “Do you miss me? At all?”

  Summer’s eyes slammed closed. The question hit a place that she kept guarded at all times, forcing her to confront the one thing she stayed away from when she had control of her thoughts. For the first time in two years, and for an infinitesimal moment, Summer released the walls she kept her feelings and emotions hidden behind. “I miss you all the time,” she whispered. “But I can’t love you, Val. Not like you need me to.”

  A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek. The admission cost Summer a great deal emotionally, and she knew she would spend the rest of the day in a state where she felt like an outsider watching the world pass her by.

  Before she could start to disassociate Val said, “You are more than your family, Summer, nor are you an entitled brat. You have a life outside of them, and you are your own person. You have done more than the foundation will ever do.” She paused for a second. “Whatever you’re about to face, I know you will face it with strength and determination. Two things I have always, and will always, admire about you. You can do this, Summer, and if you can’t believe in yourself, know that I believe in you enough for the both of us.” Val didn’t say anything further, and thinking she was done, Summer moved to end the call manually, but before she could, Val continued to speak, her voice strained with emotion. “You are more than the demons that torment you, and I know you will defeat them one day, because that is who you are.”

  The new addition to the declaration took Summer by surprise, but at the same time the words were something she needed to hear. She drew in a deep breath through her nose and murmured, “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Val returned just as softly. The two of them remained on the line for a brief second, then Val quickly said, “I miss you too.”

  The call ended, and Summer looked at her at her reflection in the mirror. The emotions Val had stirred in her were too much, and though she needed to feel them as much as she needed Val, Summer knew she wasn’t ready to face them outside of this moment. She drew in a deep breath and reconstructed the walls she felt safe behind. As she slowly released it, Summer wiped her face and straightened the suit jacket she wore. Looking as presentable as possible, Summer left the bathroom.

  When she walked out, she found Nina leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door. She pushed off it and asked, “Are you okay?”

  Summer fixed the collar of the red silk button-up she had on underneath the jacket and replied, “No, I’m not, but I have to do this.” She blew out a breath. “Let’s go.”

  She and Nina headed for the conference room the press was waiting in. The entire time, her heart hammered in her chest, but instead of thinking about her climbing anxiety she replayed Val’s voice in her head, repeating the belief she had in her. Val believed in her, and that was all that mattered. Despite everything they had gone through, Val still believed in her.

  Chapter Eleven

  Summer’s left leg bounced erratically as the town car took her, Nina, and Ryan to Andrews Air Force base. The nervous tic had been present for most of their ride. At this point, Summer didn’t know if it was intentional or not, but she wanted it to stop and she wanted Nina to quit sending concerned glances her way. Though she hadn’t turned away from the window since the ride began, Summer was keenly aware of the glances and prolonged stares her assistant sent her way because she could see Nina’s reflection in the window. There had also been a couple of times where Ryan had cleared his throat and Summer caught him shaking his head out the corner of her eye. A part of her wished she had taken a separate car, and the other side of her mind desperately wanted the sedatives she had taken moments ago to kick in and put her out of her misery.

  The medication wouldn’t take effect for another twenty minutes, but Summer hoped for a miracle. Her anxiety about the impending flight was building to a breaking point, and the chance of her having an anxiety attack grew with each passing second. Having another attack around Val would be the worst thing imaginable, but with this being the first flight she had taken in two years where she wasn’t the only person on board made her anxiety worse and increased Summer’s chances of having an attack. Anytime she had to fly, Summer took chartered flights because they offered her privacy she couldn’t get on commercial ones, and she could pass out and not have people stare at her or be bothered by the flight staff while sedated.

  The fact she couldn’t fly without sedation both saddened and angered Summer, but it was another thing she just had to accept after her crash. She missed being a pilot, and still held great affection for being in an aircraft and flying, but the moment she stepped onto a plane without being medicated, a full-blown anxiety attack happened. It took medication for her to recover from it. Summer exhaled slowly through her nose and gave her head a shake. It would probably be another hundred years before she would be able to get onto a plane without an attack happening.

  “What are you looking at?” Summer snapped when she felt Nina’s eyes on her for what felt like the millionth time.

  “Are…you all right?” Nina asked with some hesitation.

  Summer released a slow breath through her nose. “At some point you will learn to stop asking me that question.” Who knew if she would ever be okay. Pressing her lips together, Summer drew in another breath while her leg continued to bounce. The tic seemed to have gotten worse, if that were possible. The thought of cutting it off flashed through her mind, and Summer mentally rolled her eyes. The things she thought about while on the verge of a mental breakdown were ridiculous.

  “Never ask the colonel if she’s all right,” Ryan said with a grin. “She will make sure you never ask again.” He pointed at the scar that created a notch in his eyebrow. “See this? Got this when I asked if she was all right on our second day together. The colonel threw a glass at me, and a shard got me.”

  “Oh, that is such bullshit,” Summer exclaimed as she narrowed her eyes at Ryan. “You got that from a bar fight. I’ll pull up the article if I need to.” Ryan smiled at her, while Nina laughed. Summer appreciated the distraction he had given her, but it would take a more than that to keep her from thinking about the flight with Val.

  “When are my parents getting to California?” Summer asked, hoping the subject would distract her and lessen the intensity of her bouncing leg.

  “They will be getting in late tonight,” Nina replied before moving onto Summer’s schedule. “I didn’t schedule you for any meetings tonight, per your request, but tomorrow your first one is early and it’s with the governo
r.” Summer turned her head away from the window and tilted her head a bit when she heard Nina snort softly. Her assistant shook her head. “I apologize, Colonel, but I had a conversation with your mother earlier about her wanting to be at your meeting with the governor. I told her if you wanted her to be present, you would have invited her.”

  Summer and Ryan chuckled. With one comment Nina had made an enemy of Summer’s mother and she didn’t even know it yet. To some degree it was possible this was Summer’s fault, since she told Nina to not let her mother walk over her, but it would be something she would deal with later. As she calmed down Summer commented, “I’m certain that response went over well.”

  “The conversation did come to an abrupt end once I said that,” Nina remarked with a small smirk. “Which reminds me, you have to call her when we land.”

  Summer scowled and turned her head to gaze out the window, but not taking in the passing scenery. Her leg continued to bounce despite the momentary distraction, and the closer they got to the base, the worse her anxiety got. Summer focused on her breathing, which took tremendous effort.

  They got to Andrews Air Force Base, and as they went through the security check Summer’s nervous tic had advanced to her chewing on the inside of her lip. She glanced at her watch as the town car rolled though the security checkpoint. It would be another ten minutes of wrestling with her anxiety before the sedatives kicked in. She hoped she wouldn’t have an attack before then.

  The car reached Air Force One, which sat on the tarmac waiting for departure. There were a few other cars in the vicinity, along with the press. “I’m going to go speak with Secret Service about security and coverage, Colonel,” Ryan said before he got out of the car.