Reappearance of Summmer

by D J Small

Summer sighed. “Yes, but no. Doing so would have brought up the distrust that still lingers from the twentieth and twenty-first centuries among the other Alliance leaders.”

  “And it won’t now?” Val challenged.

  Summer held up a finger. “It will, but you have evidence for your misgivings so they are completely baseless.”

  Val hadn’t told Summer how the treaty negotiations had gone, but Summer was annoyingly good at deciphering the unsaid. Val knew she had figured it out, but at the same time they couldn’t talk about it. “But it will be a hard point to sell.”

  Summer shrugged. “At this point they either do something and stop the insurgents, or they risk them spreading to other parts of the region. Honestly, those are the only choices I see for them.”

  “I’m not getting into this with you,” Val said with a smile and a shake of her head. She looked at Summer. “I miss our debates on topics like this and picking your brain.”

  Summer chuckled. “If you want more debates, all you have to do is ask, you know I enjoy them, and my brain is always available for you to pick at.”

  Val gave a skeptical hum. “Considering some of your actions these last few years, I’m not certain I want to do that.”

  Summer stared at her with her mouth partly open, and Val grimaced, knowing the slight dig hadn’t been a good idea. “That was uncalled for,” Summer stated.

  “I know, but it’s the truth.” A tense moment occurred between the two them, proving no matter how comfortable they got with each other there were still things they needed to work through. Val sighed and attempted to get them through the awkward moment. “You want to tell me about therapy?”

  Summer shook her head. “No. You want to talk about how messed up you are?”

  Val rolled her eyes. Sure, she should probably talk to someone about her repressed issues regarding Summer, but other than those she wasn’t messed up. “I’m not messed up. I just have a lot of plates spinning at once.”

  Summer grunted, and Val chuckled. Silence settled between them once she calmed down. “You want to go for a walk? It doesn’t look like you want to sleep, and since we’re both up, we might as well do something.”

  Summer smiled. “As much as I would love to go on a walk, I don’t want to put on my prosthetic or deal with my crutches.”

  “You do know there are these nifty little chairs with wheels on them,” Val teased. “I’m certain one of the agents can get me one.” She was more than certain about it, because when the Secret Service covered Summer, they were required to have a wheelchair on hand in case of an emergency evacuation.

  Summer playfully scowled at her as she thought about the suggestion. Another second went by before she smiled. “Okay.” Val got off the bed, and as she started for the door Summer said, “Don’t think too much into this.”

  Val opened the room door and gave short laugh. “I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.” She flashed Summer a smile before leaving, and it remained on her face as she walked to the door of Summer’s suite. She always enjoyed middle of the night conversations with Summer. It was the one time during the day where it was just the two of them and the solitude of night. Something about it allowed them to say anything and everything to each other, but Val knew Summer was holding back. She sighed as she opened the door.

  Agent Banner stood in the hall a few feet down from Summer’s room and Val called, “Kat, can you bring up a wheelchair for Summer? We’re going on a walk.”

  Banner gave a curt nod. “Right away, ma’am.” She lifted her wrist to speak into her sleeve mic.

  Val thanked her and closed the door. As she headed back into the bedroom, she announced, “Your chariot will be here shortly.”

  “You’re not funny,” Summer shouted back, but Val still laughed.

  ~~~

  Summer laughed as Val continued to tell the story. “So, I go through the motions of getting ready to join them for prayer and I mess up a part of the ceremony, and in true Valarie Hawkins fashion, I swear.” A burst of uninhibited laughter came from her. “And not a small utterance mind you, but a full blown ‘shit’ in a Buddhist monastery. I was mortified.”

  Summer held onto her stomach as she tried not to double over with laughter. Their walk around the golf course had been entertaining and enjoyable, and not once did the underlying tension between them ruin their time together. The two of them had spent the time telling each other funny stories from the last few years and making idle conversation. They came to a stop by the lake, and Summer remarked, “You and that damn mouth of yours.”

  “It sort of just slipped out, and what’s funny is, when it was all over the head monk told me about the time he dropped a f-bomb during meal time and told me it was no big deal.” Val set the brake on the wheelchair before sitting down. “I told him everything is huge deal when you’re the president of a freaking country.”

  Summer chuckled. “You’re human, Val. Shit happens.”

  “Says the woman who was in the military, where swearing is encouraged,” Val said as she chuckled with Summer.

  They fell into a peaceful silence. For the first time in a long while, Summer felt content and was in no rush to leave the safe space she and Val were in. She sighed. “I’ve missed this.”

  “What?”

  Summer smiled at her and said, “Our midnight excursions and talks.”

  Val chuckled as she teased, “What, you couldn’t get anyone to take my place?”

  The smile on Summer’s face dropped. “I never wanted to replace you,” she admitted softly. “I just wanted to forget.” The admission brought with it all the things she wanted to say to Val, and thinking she would never have the courage or opportunity to say them again, Summer began to share the thoughts she kept closely guarded. “Val, I’m sorry for how I handled everything after the crash, and I’m sorry for the way I treated you and for the things I said, but I fell into a hole I couldn’t get out of it.”

  “Summer, you don’t have to do this right now. We can talk about it when you’re more stable,” Val said, and her eyes shone with compassion under the lampposts lighting the path.

  Summer nodded, but continued. “To be honest, if you hadn’t forced me to come back, I don’t think I would have gotten the help I needed.” She smiled at Val. “The main reason why I wanted to start the mental health initiative was to cover up the fact I was getting help.”

  Val let out an incredulous breath. “If you had told me that, I would have been more agreeable. Hell, I would have given you anything if it meant you were seeking help.”

  The two of them shared a brief laugh and Summer shook her head. “As nice as it is to hear you say that, you telling me no forced me to do something I probably wouldn’t have done if you had said yes.” She sighed and stared at the lake. “It changed the reason why I wanted to get help too. Originally, I wasn’t doing it for myself.”

  “Who were you doing it for?”

  Summer released a soft breath and turned her head to look at Val. “Who do you think?”

  “Me?”

  “Yep,” Summer replied before looking back at the lake. “Not only did I want you back, but I also wanted to go back to my life. When you told me no, it put everything in my court. In a way, I didn’t have your support, so I had to decide if it was still worth doing if I didn’t get you back. In the end, I decided it was, because I had become a shell of myself and didn’t want to be that person anymore. At some point, it would have eventually killed me.” She sighed. “I just want to be myself again.”

  Summer fell silent as thoughts of her actions for the last two years went through her mind. The comfort she felt in Val’s presence eased some of her guilt and pain, and allowed her to continue the conversation. “I’ve realized some things about myself, and a lot of what I’ve done and said has been terrible. It makes me hate myself. I belittled and insulted everyone I love, I took out my anger and frustration on people who only wanted to help, I cut myself off, and I used liquor to numb the pain and suffering I w
as going through.”

  Summer bit the inside of her lip as she waited for the strong wave of guilt that came over her to pass. After releasing a deep breath, she added, “I think what I put you through is what makes me feel the guiltiest, but at the same time I’m pissed at you for putting up with it. I said things to you I would never have said before the crash, and you just took it, when before, you would have divorced me and told me to go fuck myself.”

  “What the hell was I supposed to do, Summer?” Val asked, releasing a soft, but sharp, breath. “Beat you into submission? Remember, I was dealing with my own shit about your crash. Leaving you was never an option.”

  Summer nodded. “I know.” She gave Val a wry smile. “Even if you had beat me into submission or left me, I doubt it would have worked. The pit I was in was so deep I don’t think even you could have reached me.” Where Summer’s thoughts went to next had her biting the inside of her lip. She didn’t know what purpose it would serve in telling Val, but she was being brutally honest with her at the moment and decided to go with it. “I was in it so deep, I thought about killing myself more times than I want to admit.”

  “Summer…” Val said softly before taking hold of her hand.

  Summer drew in several deep breaths to push down the lump of intense emotions that was blocking her throat, but it didn’t stop the tears from forming in her eyes. The subject was a hard one, but Val’s compassion helped her to continue.

  She cleared her throat and said, “I wrote you a letter one time. I had it all planned out. I had a bottle of pills on one side of the paper and a bottle of alcohol on the other. It was supposed to be short, but in the end, it ended up being almost twenty pages long. I apologized for leaving and divorcing you. I explained everything going on with me then I apologized for taking my shit out on you, and I admitted to being a terrible wife and apologized for not giving you children.”

  “Summer—”

  “No, I need to get this out now or I’ll never tell you.” She drew in an unsteady breath. “There was so much I had to say to you, and it turns out getting it all out on paper saved me. Not by much, but I didn’t want to kill myself anymore. I just wanted to be numb. I turned to alcohol, and that’s how I got to where I am.”

  A tense silence covered them as they processed what she said. Summer hadn’t meant to be this honest with Val, but it seemed their conversation and possibly where they were, had given her the right atmosphere to bare her soul. “I don’t know what to say,” Val said a short while later.

  Summer’s mouth formed a slight smile. “I don’t expect you to say anything.” She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. “I think we should head back in. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

  Val nodded in agreement and stood up from the bench. Their walk back to the hotel was silent, and they remained quiet as they went into Summer’s suite. Summer was getting settled under the blanket when Val walked into the bedroom and made her way over to the bed.

  “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

  Val got into the bed and cuddled up to the Summer. “Shush. I’m the president, and you can’t tell me what to do.”

  Summer got comfortable in the embrace Val held her in and muttered. “Dictator.”

  Val chuckled, and it wasn’t long before Summer felt sleep coming over her. She didn’t know if it was because of their conversation from earlier, or an effect of being in Val’s arms, but Summer felt an incredible calmness inside of her, and it allowed sleep to come more easily than it typically did.

  Chapter Twenty

  Val took a drink from her glass and remarked, “Sending troops to help the Alliance has caused my approval rating to tank.” After another drink of wine, she pointed out, “My rating has never been this low and I supported the bill that moved a lot of money from the military to the public education system.”

  “You do like to take money from the military,” Summer quipped with a grin as she rinsed off the plate in her hand.

  Val released an indignant breath. “The military has an overinflated budget and could stand to lose a couple hundred million or so.” She moved over to where the wine bottle sat on the counter and poured some more into her glass. “My dad keeps saying I shouldn’t have gotten the country involved in this mess.”

  Summer put the plates into the dishwasher then turned to look at Val, a smirk playing on her lips as she dried her hands with a dishtowel. “You don’t want my opinion on this, Val.”

  Val rolled her eyes and took a long drink of her wine. She was supposed to be helping Summer clean the kitchen, but then they started talking about the Alliance, and it had turned into her venting about her latest approval rating and how her order to send troops to help the Alliance had effected it.

  The decision had been made after the Alliance had gone over the information she gave them about Hasem and Nasir. At first, it had caused outrage, and the leaders accused her of spying, but Val told them the information was public knowledge. The financial records, which she did not give them, were another story.

  Once she had given them everything, Val had recommended Hasem and Nasir be removed from power while offering military support. The Alliance had deliberated for several days, then contacted her saying it would be their operation but they would welcome the support. The troops had been deployed earlier in the week, but her decision to involve the U.S. in something that was essentially Alliance business had not gone over well with members of Congress and the American public.

  Val set her glass down on the counter. “You’re right, I don’t.” She scowled. “You always side with my fucking dad, even in this, but you hate it when he interferes with my administration.” The more Val thought about it the more annoyed she got. “Oh, and let’s not forget the other times you have sided with him.” She let out an irritated breath. “You two agreed on our last name, and how can I forget the fact you sided with him on almost everything during my campaign.”

  Summer crossed her arms and smiled. “It’s not my fault great minds think alike.”

  Val picked up her glass and muttered, “You should have married him since you agree with him so much.”

  Summer moved closer to her and took her wine glass. “Perhaps I should have. He wouldn’t have let me divorce him.”

  Val’s lips parted slightly as she stared at Summer, who rinsed out her wine glass and got a glass of water for herself. She exhaled a short breath and shook her head. “We can’t joke about that.”

  Summer grimaced. “Sorry.”

  “No, you don’t have to apologize; I’m just not there yet.” She sighed. There was a slight possibility she had drunk too much wine. Val wasn’t drunk, but she was feeling the effects of it and it meant she was more emotional than usual. She smiled and asked, “How was therapy?”

  Summer shrugged, and Val drew in a deep breath and exhaled it through her nose. Anytime she asked Summer about therapy the conversation never went anywhere. “Okay, I see we’re still not talking about it, how about the governors’ dinner? How is that coming along?”

  Summer grunted and said, “There is a reason why I hate dealing with these things.” She smiled. “So, Nina is handling most of it while I get ready for fundraising season for the foundation.”

  Val chuckled and commented, “You sound completely thrilled about that. I still don’t know why you volunteered to plan the dinner. We both knew you were going to pass it off.”

  Summer gestured towards her and countered, “We also know I’m not the kind of person who can plan a state dinner, and I volunteered to help so you could focus on the problem in the Middle East.” She grinned and added. “Another reason why I agreed is because your mother was the only other option you had, and I do not need to point out the obvious there.”

  “No, you do not, and I can’t argue your point,” Val remarked with a small huff.

  Summer chuckled. “Why are you being so combative tonight?”

  Val shrugged. “Probably stress from dealing with the Alliance.” Her eyebrows furrowe
d when Summer pursed her lips. “What?”

  Summer shook her head and said, “Oh, nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s probably inappropriate of me to ask.”

  The statement further intrigued Val. “Now that you’ve said that, I really want to know what the hell you’re thinking.”

  Summer picked up her glass of water and shook her head. “Nope. It’s none of my business, and it’s inappropriate, Valarie.” Val studied Summer, her eyes squinting a bit as she tried to figure out what was going on in her ex-wife’s head. Summer snapped her fingers. “Tomorrow at one, you and Nina are meeting with the florist about center pieces. I told her what flowers to get, but I thought your input would be nice to have. I also switched it up a bit because I feel everything has been the same the last few events.”

  Val grinned. “I can’t do it. The House is voting on the new tax bill, and I have meetings with a few representatives.” The grin on her face grew. “You’ll have to go instead.”

  Summer rolled her eyes and walked out of the kitchen. Val followed her and the two of them went out on the balcony after Summer grabbed a medium sized chestnut box that had her initials engraved on the lid in gold. Val couldn’t stop the fond smile from forming on her face as she sat down in the lounge chair and watched Summer.

  She opened the lid of the box and took out a silver-plated cigar torch, which also bore her initials, then retrieved the matching cigar guillotine. Val couldn’t help but to get sentimental over the items. When she had seen the humidor sitting on the coffee table a few weeks ago, she actually cried a bit. Val had bought the set for her a year after they got married. It was an update to the one she had originally gotten Summer when they celebrated their first anniversary as a couple.

  Summer lifted up the top section of the humidor and pulled out a perfectly crafted cigar. “You want one?” she asked as she held it up.

  Val couldn’t say no to the offer. She nodded, but said, “Can you prepare it for me?”

  Summer grinned and shook her head as she picked up the cutter.