Reappearance of Summmer

by D J Small

  Jabir frowned. “What are we doing, Madam President?”

  Val got up from the couch and walked over to the liquor cabinet to get a glass of water. After taking a drink from it, she said, “All we can do is wait. It will get reviewed, and during the review process we’ll present the facts and go from there.”

  “But some of the other Alliance leaders are being pressured into saying you forced them to turn against the Iraqi leaders,” Addison pointed out.

  Val shrugged and returned to her seat on the couch. “I’m sure the conversations held with the Alliance were recorded, and we can show the records to those who need to see them.” She forced out an indignant breath. “I will not be intimidated by two men who think they know how to lead better than I do. They don’t, and I refuse to waste any more energy on it. Right now, Jabir, I want you to focus on the activity in Iraq and Kuwait and make sure the remains of those soldiers get home without a hitch.”

  Jabir stood, and so did Val. He shook her hand and said, “I will make sure they arrive without incident, ma’am.” He bid Addison goodbye, then left the Oval Office.

  “I can’t believe you’re being so ambivalent about this lawsuit,” Addison said once the office door had closed behind the Secretary of Defense. “Given the opportunity, several of the Alliance leaders would throw you under the bus with no hesitation, but you’re saying all we need to do is present the facts and all will be well? Val, what the hell?”

  Val got up and moved to her desk. “Addison, you don’t think I know several leaders in the Alliance are not happy with my relationship with Basara? He is the only one in the organization who accepts my advice and guidance. The others are too involved with trying to outdo the others. There is a problem going on in the Middle East, and none of them are prepared for it. My facts prove this, and my conversations with the Alliance prove it as well. There is enough proof that if this case does get to the U.N., then they will have no choice but to say the right decision was made at the time.”

  “Are you saying you knew the lawsuit was coming?”

  Val let out a terse laugh as she sat down in her office chair. “I didn’t know the lawsuit was coming. I knew there would be ramifications because the decision was made without Iraq being involved, but this is something different.”

  Addison shook her head and got up from the couch. “I feel like we would be more prepared for this if you weren’t running off to go babysit your ex every night.”

  Knowing Addison would have brought up her going over to Summer’s at some point during the conversation, Val rolled her eyes. “Oh, stop it, Addison. Even if I wasn’t going to Summer’s every night, we still wouldn’t have known how all of this would have played out.”

  Addison let out an annoyed breath and sat down in one of the chairs in front of Val’s desk. “How is she doing?”

  Val blew out an explosive breath and fell back against her chair. All her thoughts about Summer were a jumbled mess, and if she thought too much about them, she would get a headache.

  After last night’s events, she wasn’t able to keep Summer in the little box she had mentally created to keep herself from hoping for something that would never come. However, once she had examined their situation over the last few weeks, Val found she had been hoping for something for a long time now, but with everything being such a mess for them, she knew hope was all she would have.

  Summer may have told her she wanted her, in what capacity, Val didn’t know, but it had to mean something. Didn’t it? She sighed. “She’s doing all right. Her doctor adjusted her anxiety medication because she experienced one too many side effects from it. Once she’s on it for a month, they’re going to see how it works and if it has any interactions with her anti-depressant. They’ll see if she needs to be on something to help her sleep after the assessment, but I doubt it.”

  “Glad to hear she’s making some progress,” Addison remarked, and Val grunted quietly to herself. An adjustment to her medication wasn’t progress; knowing if therapy was actually working or not would be progress. Val exhaled a weary breath. “Hopefully this means you will stop being her bedwarmer at night and get back to actually running the country.”

  “What is your problem, Addison?” Val asked, getting fed up with the snide remarks coming from her chief of staff.

  Addison stood up and began to pace in front of the desk. “I didn’t expect you to spend weeks being distracted by Summer. It is affecting your ability to be president. I mean, it has possibly cost the country its standing with the Alliance.”

  “That is ridiculous.”

  Addison quickly retorted, “I don’t think it is. Being a lawyer, I feel like you should have expected and planned for this lawsuit. That treaty is a tenuous one, and we both know how the slightest involvement from the West could cause it to crumble.”

  “I understand the treaty quite well, Addison,” Val stated as she rose from her chair. “This is another lawsuit that will not go anywhere. I have not overreached my power, nor have I influenced the countries of the Alliance. I found information on two men who are doing nothing to stop the terrorists in their country, and I offered help, nothing else. Anything else outside of that becomes an Alliance problem, not mine.”

  Addison sighed. “Like I said earlier, I feel like this could have been handled differently.”

  “How?” Val asked throwing her hands up. “If the conversation had been held with Iraq present, they would have covered up their ties to the insurgents and blamed me for having ulterior motives, which is far from the case. Hasem and Nasir are corrupt and do not belong in positions of power.” The two of them fell silent. When Addison didn’t offer an alternate solution, Val sat down and said, “I can’t have this conversation anymore, Addison. I have work to do, and what’s been done is done. There’s nothing more to this.”

  “Okay,” Addison said softly. “I’m going to my office. Remember, you have the press conference later.”

  Val groaned. She had agreed to speak with the press about the country’s involvement in the Middle East and explain what she could, which wasn’t much. “All right, thank you.”

  Addison gave Val a slight nod and left the Oval.

  Val let her head fall back against the chair. Maybe there was some truth to what Addison had said. Splitting her focus between her presidential duties and helping Summer probably had caused her to handle the Iraq situation sloppily, but the situation in the Middle East had been sloppy to begin with.

  Val would continue to stand behind her actions, but she started to wonder if she should mend some of the damage between her and the Alliance. She blew out an exaggerated breath and reached for the phone, calling Addison’s office so she could set up a meeting with the Alliance to discuss this lawsuit.

  ~~~

  “You’re awfully quiet today.”

  Summer bit the inside of her lip and nodded.

  “It’s never a good thing when you’re quiet.” Kareem added with a small chuckle. Summer smirked, but didn’t comment on the joke. As predicted, her actions from last night plagued her today, and she didn’t know what any of it meant. “Is this a side effect of your medications?”

  Summer shrugged. “Possibly. I’m not sure.”

  “Have you experienced any of the side effects? We lowered your anxiety medication because of the nausea, fatigue, and the headaches. Anything new?”

  Summer shook her head.

  Kareem sighed. “What’s the matter, Summer? You’re never this quiet. I’m tempted to place you on a psychiatric hold.” Summer glared at him, and Kareem chuckled. “Okay, now you’re acting more like yourself. What’s going on?”

  Summer stared at him, uncertain whether she could actually talk to him or not. Then again, she’d been coming to see Kareem for four months now, and though they had barely made any headway on her issues, he still tried to help her as much as he could.

  Coming to a decision, Summer decided to test him with this. “Val and I were in bed last night, and I told her I wanted her,
but I don’t know if I meant it sexually or romantically.” She sighed. “I still feel like I’m no good for her. I mean, shit, we’ve been working at this forever and I’m still as unstable as ever. Just medicated better.”

  “I told you we will work at whatever pace is comfortable for you for however long you want,” Kareem reassured her. “How long have you and Val been sleeping together?”

  Summer rolled her eyes. “We’re not sleeping together like you think. She has been coming to my apartment and making sure my nightmares don’t get the best of me for the last month.”

  Kareem nodded in understanding. “How’d that start?”

  “Ryan.” She got up from the couch and began to pace in the open area behind it. “He was worried about me one night because I was stuck in one of my nightmares, and he couldn’t get me out of it. Val was the only person he could think of who could come over quickly.” She stopped pacing and scowled at Kareem. “This was after you had me stop taking the sleeping pills.”

  “Oh, I see. Blame me for you and your ex sleeping together.”

  Summer chuckled a little.

  “If I am understanding this correctly, you told Val you wanted her, but don’t know what it means because you believe you’re no good for her? Why do you believe this?”

  Summer glanced at him then blew out a long breath. “As I said, I’m only medicated better, and that’s only been for a month or so. I haven’t dealt with any of my shit, which means I’m still a time bomb, and an asshole who can say some pretty fucked up shit to Val if my mood goes wrong.” She stopped walking and looked at Kareem. “She doesn’t deserve that. Val is the sweetest person I have ever known. She deserves to be with someone who doesn’t throw her flaws and shortcomings at her just because they can’t deal with their own shit.”

  “You still love her?”

  Summer laughed. The question was a stupid one. “Of course I love her. Val is the one for me, but I am not the one for her.” She went to go run her hand through her hair, but stopped short when she remembered she had put it into a French braid this morning.

  Kareem hummed, then tilted his head. “Is it possible sleeping with her might be causing the confusion?”

  Summer nodded. She had wondered the same thing over the last few weeks. “It’s likely.” She sighed and went back to the couch, dropping down onto it. “I’m screwing this all up. We haven’t made any progress, and here I am derailing everything.”

  “Derailing? I never said it was derailing anything,” Kareem pointed out.

  “You didn’t, but it’s what I think.” She bit her bottom lip and stared down at the carpet. What she wanted to say next didn’t sit too well with her, but it was the truth. “I think it may be distracting me.”

  “Oh.” Kareem sighed. “If you think she is distracting you from addressing your problems, then might I suggest you distance yourself from her?”

  Summer scoffed. “I don’t think I can do that. It took a tremendous amount of self-loathing and crossing a line with Val to make me leave her the first time. It won’t happen again.” She sat back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling.

  “What do you plan to do when I tell you she’s a hindrance to your therapy, and that you’ll need to distance yourself from her?”

  Summer continued to stare at the ceiling. “I’ll quit therapy, and probably run away.”

  “We have definitely got to work on your coping mechanisms,” Kareem said, and the annoyed tone he spoke in made Summer laugh.

  She brought her head down, and as she calmed down she said, “You can’t help me develop good coping mechanisms if we never talk about anything.”

  Kareem sat up in his chair and moved closer to the edge of it. “Does this mean you actually want to talk about what’s going on with you, and perhaps develop some non-destructive processes to help you?”

  “In the four months we have been working together, what makes you think I’m going to change all of sudden?” Summer asked, wondering if he had discovered some new technique to get her to open up.

  Kareem tossed his legal pad onto the coffee table and rested he forearms on his thighs, clasping his hands between his knees. “You don’t want to do this anymore, I can hear it in your voice. You’re tired and fed up of running away when things don’t go your way, but you know no other alternative.” He drew in a breath and released it. “And to be honest, it is the root of all your problems.”

  Summer’s left eyebrow went up. “How so?”

  Kareem sat back in his chair and placed the ankle of his left leg on his right knee. “Instead of tackling your PTSD and depression, you took it out on those who love and care about you, ultimately running away from your life. The longer you allowed it to go untreated, the worse your condition got, bringing with it anxiety. Again, you didn’t do anything to seek help, and you didn’t develop healthy ways of coping with your mental health and trauma. Which resulted in you self-medicating with booze, sex, and self-hatred.” He sighed. “Eventually, Summer, there will be nowhere for you to run, and your troubles will catch up with you.”

  The blunt assessment hit Summer harder than any punch she had ever taken. There was no denying Kareem was right, and the fact he was able to pinpoint everything so precisely almost made her want to hit him for being this accurate. Summer released a long breath. “What the fuck am I supposed do, then?”

  Kareem gave her a small smile. “We start at the beginning, and we’ll work through it together; help you learn your triggers and find ways for you to work through them in a more positive manner.”

  Summer stood up and met his gaze. “Sounds like a ton of shit.”

  “It probably is,” Kareem said with a slight shrug. “But what’s the harm in trying?”

  A soft sigh slipped past Summer’s lips. “I’ll see you in a few days.” She began to make her way out of Kareem’s office, and he didn’t bother to call after her. This wasn’t the first time one of their sessions had ended with her walking out on him. Summer needed to think, and she needed to do it without his voice in her head.

  ~~~

  The clock on Val’s desk read eight o’clock when she glanced it. She sighed and set down the pen in her hand. The meeting with the Alliance was scheduled for first thing in the morning, and she wanted to prepare for it, but she also needed to call Summer. The conversation with Addison had run through her mind for most of the day, and Val had reluctantly come to the conclusion that Summer’s was distracting her.

  Losing her focus during this critical time was not a good thing, and she needed to stop the sleepovers at Summer’s and get back to focusing on the country. This meant she had to cancel their evening together, but making the call was a challenge for Val. It felt like she was abandoning Summer, even though that wasn’t the truth. She needed to focus on the situation in the Middle East, and once it was over, she could go back to being the support Summer needed. Val sighed again. It felt so much like abandonment.

  Biting the bullet, Val made the call. The line rang a half-dozen times before going to voicemail. Once the beep sounded, Val said, “Hey, Summer, I’m calling to let you know I won’t be over tonight. I have some work to do, and it’s going to take up my night. I hope you have a good night and call me if you need me. Bye.”

  Val ended the call, and for a split second she wondered if something had happened to Summer, but then she remembered Ryan would have called her if something did. Her mind then ventured to dangerous territory that caused her jealousy to flare to life, and Val shook her head to get rid of the thoughts. There were probably a number of reasons why Summer didn’t answer. Val drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Thinking about what Summer could be doing was the opposite of what she was trying to do. Going back to work, Val pushed Summer from her mind even though she wanted to be with her.

  ~~~

  Summer stared at her cell phone as the screen illuminated and displayed “private caller” on it. There was only one person who would be calling her from a private number. She brou
ght the cigar to her lips and took a slow pull off of it as she focused on the city in front of her. As she exhaled a stream of smoke, her phone chimed telling her there was a new message. Summer pressed her lips together and picked up the device. After listening to the message Val had left and placing the phone on silent, Summer set it down on the small table next to the lounge chair.

  She wasn’t ignoring Val exactly, but she needed some time to herself to figure things out, and Val would distract her from it. The main thing she needed to figure out was if Val was more important than regaining her mental stability and managing her various mental illnesses. Summer sighed and took another hit off the cigar. The question was a big one, and she didn’t like the answer because damn was it brutal.

  Exhaling a stream of smoke, Summer put the massive thought on the back burner, deciding to deal with the more palatable topics she needed to think about because they were equally as important as the Val one. She stared at the city and listened to the jazz music filtering out of the open balcony door. Tonight, she would lose herself in her thoughts, cigar, and music, then tomorrow she would have answers for the hard questions that ate at her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Val tapped her fingers against her thigh as she rode the elevator down to the underground level of the White House. Something had happened in Iraq and she had been called to the Situation Room to be briefed on it. There were various theories bouncing around her head, because after the meeting with the Alliance last week she didn’t know if they would still be taking Nasir and Hasem out of power.

  She had already contacted several ambassadors at United Nations to let them know there might be a coup that would threaten the Alliance and peace in the region, but assured them the situation was being monitored and she would report back to them if things escalated. She hoped they didn’t.

  The elevator came to a stop, and as soon as the doors glided open, Val rushed off the lift, heading for the large conference room. The moment she walked into the Situation Room, she took in the scene before her. Several Alliance leaders were on the large holo-screen, and members of the NSC sat around the table. “Fill me in,” Val demanded as she made her way up to her seat at the head of the table.