The Near & Far Series

by Serena Clarke

  “Please come up,” Cady said. “Have a drink with us. I think we have a few questions for you. If you don’t mind.”

  Bee nodded. “That’s why I came,” she said. She dismounted, landing lightly on the ground, and let one of the horse’s reins fall to the ground. He dropped his head and got busy nibbling the sweet lawn grass. Then Bee put a foot on the bottom porch step, and the girls watched as another piece of their story headed up the stairs toward them.

  Twenty-One

  Elva came out onto the porch, carrying a tray with another tall glass. “I thought I heard a familiar voice,” she said. “Hello, Bee.”

  “Morning, Elva,” she replied. For a moment the two women looked at each other, an unspoken conversation seeming to travel between them. Then Bee said, “I’m going to have a chat with the girls.”

  “Uh-huh.” There was understanding in Elva’s tone.

  “Yes.” Bee took the glass she held out. “Thank you.”

  “You’re very welcome. I’ll leave you to it.” She went back inside, quietly but firmly pulling the French doors closed behind her.

  Cady leaned across and filled Bee’s glass with pink lemonade, letting a few ice cubes tumble in too. She offered the plate of cookies, but Bee shook her head. Then, with the niceties taken care of, she asked the obvious question.

  “So, if you’re Shelby, I suppose there really is another Cady, too?”

  Bee nodded. “There is.”

  She didn’t offer anything more, so Cady continued. “Our mum thought Cady and Shelby were Holt’s sisters. She saw a photo of him with two women, and that was what he told her.”

  “Ah.” Bee looked awkward. “I didn’t know that. No, we weren’t sisters. Not his sisters, and not each other’s, either.”

  “So you were…” Shelby let it hang in the air.

  “We were friends, at one time. But later, we were more than friends. And then, afterwards, none of us were friends.”

  The girls looked at her as they tried to make sense of this cryptic timeline.

  “You were more than friends,” Cady said slowly. “Do you mean that you were, um…involved? All three of you?”

  “We were. Not all at the same time though. I mean, not at exactly the same time. In the same bed.” She took a sip of the lemonade, a blush showing beneath her tan. “I haven’t talked about this with anyone for a hundred years.”

  “Okay, wait,” Shelby sat forward, poised on the very edge of her seat. “What you mean is, we’re named after a threesome?”

  “Well, you don’t have to put it like that, exactly.”

  Shelby stood up. “Oh my holy God, that’s so beyond…” She paced the porch, fired with indignant energy. “How could he let her name us after his lovers?”

  “But that’s why I came to see you as soon as I could,” Bee said. “When Elva called to say you’d arrived out of the blue, and what your names were, I knew you’d find out sooner or later, if you didn’t already know. I had the feeling Holt might not volunteer it, and I wanted you to hear the story from one of us, not out there on the grapevine.”

  “No wonder everyone looked so gobsmacked yesterday when he introduced us,” Cady said. “Or do they not know the history there?”

  “No, everyone knows,” Bee said. “Unfortunately.” She looked sideways out across the lawn, where Rambler was happily grazing, oblivious to the human drama going on. “It doesn’t really reflect that well on any of us.”

  “What happened?” Cady asked.

  “Pah, I don’t want to know,” Shelby said, still riled up.

  “Shel, sit down,” Cady told her sister. “We need to know.”

  Shelby sat, grudgingly, and Cady looked at Bee. She ran her hands through her hair, the blonde gently fading into grey, and began.

  “Well. We were young. We’d grown up together. At high school, Holt was always ‘the man’—the girls loved him, and he was sporty so the guys respected him. I mean, there were always a few people ready to tear him down because of his money. But he was charming and wild and always ready for a good time.”

  Cady looked at Shelby. “Apples and trees…sounds like someone I know.”

  Shelby rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

  “Almonds and trees, I guess,” Cady corrected herself.

  Bee smiled. “Shelby, you could do worse than have his personality. He’s a lot of fun, when he wants to be, and he has a good heart.”

  Shelby harrumphed, unconvinced, so Bee continued with the story.

  “Anyway, his father expected him to go to college, then step right into the company. He worked him crazy hard all through high school—grooming him for the business, I guess. And he did go to the college Lawson chose for him, and did really great. He got top marks. But by the time he finished, and came back here, he was like a bomb waiting to go off. Lawson installed him in the business, but he only lasted a couple of months. One night, he turned up at my house, saying he was leaving for San Francisco. And I packed a bag, and went with him.” She smiled at the memory, but her eyes were sad. “I would have gone to the moon for that man. Half the girls in town would have. Most of them, probably.”

  “Were you guys a couple then?” Cady asked.

  “Kind of. We dated in high school, on and off. But we both went to college in different places, and in the summers we both worked. And when he came home, he did nothing but work at Santa Almendra. We still had a connection, I guess.”

  “What about the other Cady?”

  “Right. Well, when Holt and I got to the city, we took a room up in The Haight. It seemed like the rebellious thing to do, even though we were, like, fifteen years too late for the summer of love. There were still plenty of drugs around, of course, just fewer of the good vibes. Cady was already there, working as a waitress. She’d left town the minute school finished. She was always…on the periphery, you could say. Smart, but not in sync with the world somehow. I always liked her, though.”

  Cady had wondered what her namesake was like. She knew it was pure romanticism to imagine they might be the same in some way, connected across an ocean not just by their names and their link to Holt, but by being kindred spirits too. But Bee’s description of the other Cady resonated—not in sync with the world, somehow. Where was she now?

  Bee continued. “We all worked any jobs we could get, waiting tables, whatever. Holt was done with big business, he said. After a while Cady took a room on the same floor in the house we were sharing. It was more like a closet really, with a bed squeezed in. We slipped into trying various…things. The drug scene in the eighties was more hard-core than in the hippie era. And Cady had always adored Holt from afar. I mean, who could blame her? So when they started hooking up too…” She paused. “At the time, I was cool with it, I thought. It was just the scene. Everything took on its own momentum, somehow, and I was so stuck on him, I didn’t question it. I’ve had plenty of time to question things since then…” Her voice faded.

  By now the girls were hanging on her every word. “What happened next?” Shelby asked.

  “Cady got pregnant. It was a massive wake-up call. Massive.”

  “Wow,” Cady said. She and Shelby looked at each other. They were clearly thinking the same thing. All the scary school lectures they’d had about sexual health and alarming infections, infestations and viruses had scarred them for life, it felt like. Not to mention the huge responsibility of a baby. Ironically, now Cady’s considerations included how life might have to be without a baby.

  “Didn’t you use protection?” Shelby blurted out, not bothering to pretty up the question.

  Bee took it in her stride. “We did. We were as scared of AIDS as everyone else, and other stuff. I guess there must have been one time when they…you know, we weren’t always completely clear-headed.”

  “And the baby?” Cady asked, remembering how Holt had told them he didn’t have any other children.

  Bee looked grim. “I got a call from Holt one day at work. I remember standing in the kitchen wit
h the chefs shouting and cursing as usual, listening to him tell me that Cady had lost the baby. God knows it wasn’t really a surprise, we’d been taking all kinds of drugs up ’til then. But there were a thousand thoughts and emotions going through my head.”

  Cady struggled to think of something to say. “I’m sorry.”

  Bee shook her head. “Oh, don’t be sorry for me. I was selfish enough to feel relieved, along with everything else. But I should have taken better care of her. I knew she was more fragile than me, from the start.”

  “Was she okay?” Cady asked.

  “She was pretty run down, I guess. None of us had been eating right, and the drugs… Anyway, she got an infection, and she ended up staying in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Emotionally, she wasn’t okay, not really.” She frowned, her face showing the weight of what they’d all gone through. “When she was well enough, she came home to Santa Almendra. Holt and I came back after that too, but she wouldn’t talk about it, and she wouldn’t see us. He and I could hardly look at each other, either. And that was that. We don’t really talk, even now, but Elva told me he was away for the day, so…”

  There was silence on the porch as the girls got to grips with everything she’d told them. It was a million miles from the beautiful, carefree sisters they’d expected to hear about, and hopefully meet. All these years later, and the repercussions of their youthful rebellion and misjudgments were still weighing her down.

  “Where is she?” Cady asked. “The other Cady.”

  “She’s around. After a while she did meet someone else, from out of town, but that marriage ended. I don’t know all the details. But now, it’s better to leave her alone. She wouldn’t thank you for bringing it up, believe me. She never did come quite right afterwards.”

  That made sense. But Cady still wanted to see her. She felt huge sympathy for the unusual, damaged girl who’d gone through so much—now a middle-aged woman, but with the same heart, surely.

  Shelby had a question. “How did Holt feel about all of it?”

  “Terrible, of course, like me. Probably worse, because he’d come from such high expectations. He had to deal with his parents, who were old-school, straight as an arrow. They had no idea what was going on in San Francisco. It just about killed his mom. Mine wasn’t exactly thrilled either.” She paused, the emotion of the memories playing out on her face. “And you know…even if he wasn’t exactly ready for fatherhood, that was his baby too.”

  “He should have kept it in his pants,” Shelby retorted, making Cady burst out with shocked laughter.

  “Shelby!” she said, trying to stifle her inappropriate laughing. Only her sister would leap in with such a blunt comment.

  But Bee shrugged, a rueful smile on her face too. “That’s okay. I could have said no. But we were so crazy about him, and Cady was determined. I mean, even now, he’s hot, if you ask me. He has some kind of Clooney-ish cowboy thing going on, right?”

  “Classic silver fox,” Cady said, and Shelby had to agree.

  “I can see him in you both,” Bee said. “Something around the eyes, and the mouth too. And all this time, after Cady lost the baby, we thought he’d never had children—until you showed up. So really, he’s lucky.” She smiled fully at them, clearly pleased by what she considered his good fortune. “What happens now?”

  Cady and Shelby looked at each other. Neither of them had any idea.

  “I don’t know,” Cady said. “We’re just taking it day by day at the moment. I suppose we’ll talk to him when he comes home.”

  Bee stood up. “Well, okay. I guess I’ll leave you to chew on all that. I’m sorry to throw such startling info at you.”

  “No, thanks for coming. It can’t have been easy.”

  “Yes, thank you.” Shelby had regained her manners.

  “That’s okay,” Bee said, putting her hat back on. “It was so nice to meet you. I’ll see you again, I hope.”

  She went down the steps and clicked a couple of times to Rambler, who trotted obligingly over and waited for her to gather up the reins. With an easy movement, she swung herself into the saddle. Then she looked back up at them.

  “It was such a long time ago. We were young, and we were making a point. You know—being our own people, not playing by their rules. Whoever ‘they’ were. I know it didn’t end well, especially for Cady, but in the moment, we were living exactly as we wanted to. So please—don’t think badly of him.”

  Without seeming to move, she turned Rambler, and he almost immediately broke into a canter. Cady raised her hand goodbye, impressed, but they were already heading around the corner of the house.

  She turned to Shelby. “She still loves him.”

  Shelby nodded. “Yep. You can see it a mile away.”

  “Do you think he knows?”

  “I doubt it. But I hardly think he deserves it. Doesn’t it bother you that we’re named after that set-up?” She shuddered dramatically. “I need a shower.”

  Cady frowned. “I don’t know. You heard what she said. They were all just doing their thing.”

  “Yeah, I know who was doing his thing.” Shelby scrunched up her nose.

  “Settle, petal,” Cady told her. “It’s not like you’ve lived a blemish-free life so far.”

  “Compared to that I have!”

  “Well, there’s still time.” She gave her sister a poke in the middle, and had her hand slapped away. She laughed. “Two words: Kyle Baxter.”

  Shelby glared at her. “I don’t believe in sharing.”

  “I guess you never know what you might do, until you’re in the moment.” She thought of Reid. So easily, he’d cut through her orderly row of what-ifs and better-nots, leaving her burning up for him. Despite the teasing, he was the one holding back, when it came to it. If he’d only pushed a little more, her last reserve would’ve fallen around her feet. As would other things…like the lacy briefs she made sure to wear every day he was around, just as a precaution. It wasn’t like they’d be getting an outing—or an offing, more accurately.

  Who knew? If it came to it, in a certain time and place, would she do the same as the other Cady and Shelby? The new Cady was—or was supposed to be—way more bold than the home version. Except, like her sister, she did not feel inclined to share this man. She’d left him with Jennifer, and there he’d have to stay.

  In the meantime, there was another man’s story to figure out.

  Twenty-Two

  By the time Holt came home that evening, Shelby was ready for a confrontation. Cady had tried to damp down her outrage, but as usual, Shelby on a roll was unstoppable. She had no interest in thinking about it from both sides, or remembering it was a long time ago, or giving him a chance to sit down before she charged. And the truth was, Cady wanted to know all the same things Shelby did. So when he got out of the truck and came across the lawn, Shelby was waiting on the porch, and Cady stood back to let her fire away.

  He paused by a pile of drying poop that Rambler had left behind. None of them had noticed it while they were talking that afternoon, but now he stopped and tipped his hat back, obviously wondering who had deposited it there.

  “Bee came to see us today,” Shelby said from the top of the porch steps.

  He looked up, surprised, and possibly nervous too. “Really? I haven’t seen her for…a long time.”

  Shelby nodded. “She told us about everything that happened in San Francisco. With you and her and the other Cady.”

  Now he went from surprised-nervous to taken aback. “Everything?”

  “Yes. Unless there’s something you’d like to add?” She sounded like a parent confronting a teenager sneaking home after curfew.

  “No, I doubt that.”

  He came up the steps and spun his hat onto a chair, then ran his fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair. Cady wasn’t surprised that Bee was still harboring feelings for him. He had a presence that demanded attention, an effortless charisma that must have carried him through life with a definite adva
ntage. Clooney-ish, maybe. Attractive, definitely. Trustworthy? Yet to be proven.

  “We have a few questions,” she said, stating the obvious. “You can probably imagine.”

  “I can,” he said. He sat down, looking remarkably fresh after the day’s travelling. He was probably used to it, Cady thought.

  Shelby plunged in, her voice already half an octave higher. “You told Mum they were your sisters in the photo. How could you let her name us after your ménage à trois? It’s so…gross.”

  He folded his arms against her onslaught and pressed his lips together. “First of all, it wasn’t that.” He ignored her huff of disagreement. “And I didn’t know what she’d named you until it was too late. I couldn’t write back and say, you need to change your babies’ names, and here’s why.”

  Cady spoke up. “Why did you tell her they were your sisters in the first place?”

  He sighed and leaned forward, his arms on his knees. “She asked me out of the blue, and it was the first thing that came into my head. Stupid, I know. But she was adamant she’d never visit, so I thought I was safe. And honestly, I just wanted to keep her good opinion of me. Confessing the truth about them would not have helped.”

  “That’s true,” Shelby said. “But it doesn’t justify the lie.”

  “Mind you, that’s a small thing compared to the lie Mum was telling,” Cady pointed out to her. “He had no idea what the real deal was.”

  He shrugged. “I found that out soon enough.”

  “No, the real real deal,” Shelby said.

  “Real real deal? What do you mean?”

  There was a pause while the girls realized that he might not know the full story behind Anne’s London trips after all. “Oh, you must be joking,” Shelby said to the universe in general.