The Near & Far Series

by Serena Clarke

  “I see…me.” She’d never done this before, but if it was game on, she’d give it a go. Let new Cady have a run at things for a change.

  “Tell me more.”

  “I see…my bare legs stretched out in front of me.” She stopped, holding back, leaving him to ask again.

  “What else?”

  Her tongue slid out to moisten her lips. “I see pajama shorts. And a silky camisole top. You know what they look like.”

  “Oh, I remember,” he said. “I remember that night.”

  It gave her a thrill to know she’d had an effect on him that night too. With the sound of his voice on the line, she held the image of him in her imagination. The way he’d looked down at her, his eyes dark, while she stood with the cold metal of the bus at her back and the hot attraction of his body tempting her in front.

  “Do you have anything else to tell me?” he said now.

  “Do you want me to tell you something else?” she asked, teasing, loving the feeling of power that was growing in her mind along with the arousal in her body. Oh, the old Cady would never have done this. She never had a chance, poor thing.

  “Tell me how you feel,” he said, his voice low.

  “Feel, or feel?” she asked, deliberately obtuse, wanting him to feel as frustrated as she had in so many moments since they’d met. She had no idea why he was suddenly laying this on the line, but right now she didn’t care. All she knew was what she wanted, wanted, wanted. She still couldn’t have it—have him—alone in this room. But letting her desire loose, the unraveling of everything she’d held back, was its own pleasure.

  He laughed softly. “Either one. Or both. Or all, if there are more.”

  “Hmmmm.” She drew it out, the charge in her body growing as she thought about exactly how she was feeling. “I feel…compelled. Wanting.” She slipped her hand under the camisole top, onto her belly, letting her fingers run across to her waist and then up to the valley between her breasts.

  “And?” he asked, his tone gravelly.

  With his voice in her ear, every inch of her skin was craving touch. As her fingertips travelled her body, she imagined they were his, and that all she had to do was reach up and he’d be there. With her eyes closed, the illusion was almost believable. As her hand moved down again, the pounding in her heart was matched by an insistent pulse between her legs, and her hips lifted of their own accord. This new, apparently shameless, version of herself had utterly possessed the old Cady, just as he had utterly occupied her mind. She took a shaky breath in, and the sound was loud enough that she knew he’d hear it. “And…I feel...heated. On the verge.”

  She was aware that his breathing had changed too, and she held her own breath for a moment, to hear him better. “More,” he said, and in that one word, the intensity of his desire was obvious.

  She pressed the phone harder against her ear, wanting to hear every nuance of his reaction. Any hesitancy she’d felt, any reservations, were completely gone. “I feel…abandoned.”

  There was silence. She strained to hear, but he was gone. Abandoned, for real. Then she realized, with a sudden thud back to earth—she’d cut him off. She made a sound halfway between laughter and frustration, the ridiculousness of it too much to bear after the heights of her desperate need. This never happened in the movies.

  She called him back, and he answered immediately. “Oh-my-God-sorry,” she said in a rush. “I was trying to hold my phone, and my finger must have hit ‘end’ by mistake.”

  “I thought you were putting a stop to it,” he said. “I thought it must have gone too far.”

  Even though she felt a bit bashful, now that the heat of the moment had passed, there was nothing in her that regretted it. “Oh, it had definitely gone too far,” she said, the old casual teasing back in her tone. “I was too far gone to stop it.”

  “Me too,” he admitted, and her heart gave a jump. He really wanted her. It wasn’t a one-sided infatuation. Although, that was no guarantee that his physical wanting equaled her increasingly heartfelt attachment.

  “But I don’t know why you were even telling me those things,” he continued now, echoing her teasing manner. “It’s not very ladylike, Lady Cady.”

  “You never know what ladies do behind closed doors,” she murmured back.

  He laughed, a wickedly appreciative sound, making it clear that ‘behind closed doors’ was a place they could easily go. They may have had their moment cut short, but there was no mistaking the extra heat between them now. They’d crossed a line, acknowledging the insistent tug of wanting. She wondered what would happen next. Would they even see each other again? She’d been missing him, keeping the longing to herself (unlike Shelby, who pined extravagantly for Kyle), but she’d been held back in her mind by the thought of Jennifer. Yes, she was trying to be a bolder, more worldly Cady now. And she couldn’t think badly of Bee and the other Cady for their triple entanglement with Holt. But she still couldn’t go where another woman already had a claim. She had to ask him, straight out.

  “Can I ask you something?” she began.

  “Yes,” he said, and that one word was rich with the weight of suggestion. For a moment she almost asked him what he was wearing, her mind struck with the image of him lying back on white sheets, shirtless, tanned and firmly muscled. Oh, and with just a sprinkling of dark chest hair. She’d never seen him shirtless, unfortunately, but she was blessed with a good imagination.

  However, the Jennifer question was still there, and she needed to know. She gathered herself and took a breath to ask, but suddenly there was a turn-around in his manner. “Shit, I have to go,” he said abruptly. It sounded like he was getting up. “Sorry, but I really have to go now.”

  What on earth? “Okay, well…”

  “Sorry.”

  And he was gone.

  “Whoa,” she said aloud to the screen. “Okay.”

  Phonus interruptus, times two. What a night. What would make him race off like that? Was it something she said? She reached down and pulled the top sheet over herself, and then the comforter, covering her body. Deprived hardly began to express how she felt, but she wasn’t tempted to let her fingers go exploring again. That, inconveniently, was something she wanted him to do.

  Twenty-Four

  The next morning, Cady’s night of abandon seemed like a dream. It was only by looking at the call log that she really believed what they’d done. But the pleasure of knowing that he lusted for her too was dulled by the abrupt end to their conversation. She hoped he was okay, of course. But his sudden exit—and no explanation this morning—left a sting. The ball was definitely in his court now.

  She and Shelby decided to go into Santa Almendra for brunch, to decide what to do next. They’d been at Santa Almendra for a while, and Holt had a business trip coming up, so it felt like time to move on. A planning session over plenty of coffee suited Cady—she didn’t want to keep going over and over the previous night’s events, good, bad and erotic. Despite it all, the erotic part kept returning to her mind, giving her little zings of pleasure. This new Cady was someone she wouldn’t mind being more often, given the chance. Given the chance with Reid, that is. She sighed, and told Shelby she’d get the car keys.

  Holt had left early to visit one of the other farms, and Elva was away visiting her sister in Sacramento, so there was no one to invite with them. They took the little rental car, not in need of a four-wheel drive for this outing, and found a coffee shop opposite the park.

  “How are you feeling now, about everything?” Cady asked as she stirred sugar into her coffee. Asking Shelby about herself usually provided plenty of distraction.

  “Pretty okay, actually. I’m getting the hang of having him for a dad. But I’ve been thinking a lot about Mum.”

  “That’s no surprise. I have too.”

  They sat quietly for a moment. “You never even stopped to catch your breath after she died,” Shelby said, out of the blue.

  Cady bristled, instantly feeling defensive.
“There were things to do! And Dad didn’t need me falling to bits.”

  “It wasn’t a criticism. I’m amazed at how strong you were—are. I just don’t know how you keep it up.”

  “Oh.” Cady deflated again, letting go all the justifications she had ready. A compliment from Shelby? That was something. “I don’t know. I think maybe it hasn’t sunk in yet. Such a lot has happened all at once.”

  Shelby nodded. “When we get home, we need to go to Broadstairs and talk to Aunt Netta. I want to know exactly what Mum told her, hear it from her directly.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Cady said. “Did the private investigator tell her who’d hired him? Do you think she knows that we know?”

  “Yes, she does. She actually passed on a message through him, to say we should visit her. And I’d like to talk to her in person.”

  “Me too. I mean, it’s not like we can ask Dad for more info.”

  Shelby looked sideways at her. “Not yet.”

  “What do you mean, not yet? Don’t you dare do anything or say anything without talking to me first. We agreed to leave Dad out of it, remember?” They’d been calling him once a week, as promised, and it had been really hard not to give anything away since they found Holt.

  “Okay, okay.” Shelby held her hands out, palms down, placating. “But we can go and see Aunt Netta, right?” When Cady nodded, she paused, something else obviously on her mind. “There’s actually somewhere else I want to go, too. Sooner than that, though.”

  “Where?” Cady asked.

  Shelby shuffled in her seat, concentrating on unwinding her savory brioche into a long strip as she answered. “It’s not so much where, as who.”

  “Oh…I know. Kyle.” She looked at her sister. Shelby’s overt Kyle withdrawal had been painful for both of them. When Shelby fixated on something, she was like a very annoying dog with a bone. But Cady hadn’t admitted that she was feeling much the same, about someone else.

  Shelby nodded. “I don’t even know if he gives a rats about me. I bet Alison swooped in the minute we left. But I just want to see him again. Is that crazy?”

  “Yes.” She thought of all the reasons why Kyle wasn’t a good idea for Shelby. But who was she to comment? Once someone gets under your skin, into your bloodstream, not seeing them is like not breathing. “But crazy is a flexible adjective. Some people are worth crazy.”

  Shelby grinned, but Cady wasn’t done. “I don’t know if he’s worth it, mind you,” she added, giving her sister a mischievous look.

  She stuck out her tongue, back to brash. “Ah, you don’t know how to live. You should try a bit of crazy some time. It’d do you good. Can’t live like a nun your whole life.”

  “Maybe,” Cady replied, giving nothing away. She smiled to herself, Reid’s throaty more echoing in her head. But Shelby kept talking, caught up in her own dilemma.

  “The thing is, we’ve already booked that luxury star tour in LA, and our flights from San Diego to Vegas.”

  “That’s true,” Cady said. “And we’ve already lost a couple of weeks of our visa.”

  “Lost?”

  “No, not lost, I suppose. Used. But we only have these three months. We had so many things planned, it was already going to be a challenge to fit them in. If we don’t keep going, we’ll find our time’s up, and we might never have another chance to do all these things.”

  Even as she listened to herself talking, Cady knew she wasn’t really convincing either of them. Vegas would always be there, you could see more of the stars on E! than by standing at their real-life front gates, and anyway, neither of them believed they’d never be back. But they might never have another chance to take this ride all the way with Flashpoint.

  “I don’t think the Flashpointers really need us, though,” she said. “Alison and Jennifer are helping Kyle, apparently.”

  “Apparently?” Shelby leapt onto that instantly. “According to who?”

  Oops. She felt her cheeks flush hot. Caught. “Um…I talked to Reid last night.”

  She could see Shelby’s mind working, thinking about what they’d done the night before. “Last night? When?”

  “After we went to bed.”

  Shelby’s eyes grew knowing. “Ohhh. I see.” She smirked. “I seeee.” She stretched the word into a brazen innuendo.

  “No, no,” Cady said, knowing her scarlet cheeks would undo her denial. “He just texted, then he phoned…”

  “Oh. My. God. You had phone sex.”

  “What? No!”

  “You did. Look at your face! You so did.”

  “Not really. Just sort of…phone fooling around. But then he had to go.”

  “Oh, I bet he did,” Shelby crowed. “Not such a nun after all, huh?”

  Cady had to grin now. “Nope.”

  “Not just me who’s the crazy one.”

  “No.” She had to laugh. “But listen. That doesn’t change anything. We still have miles to cover and a canyon to see and more corndogs to eat. We should concentrate on that.”

  Shelby sighed. “I suppose so.” Then she brightened. “We can catch up with them when we get back to San Francisco for LitQuake and the fair. We’ll have time then.”

  “Yes, we will. That’s a good idea.”

  As much as she was mollifying Shelby, it made her feel better too. As time passed without a text from Reid, she was starting to feel sorry she’d let herself get so caught up in the moment. Once again, she felt like the cake he didn’t want to have or eat. It seemed more like he wanted to just lick the frosting off, and put her back in the box. She had no intention of racing back to the bus after that. But…she still couldn’t bear to completely rule out the possibility of seeing him again.

  “So when shall we leave?” Shelby said. “Tomorrow?”

  Cady nodded. “Okay, tomorrow. Eyes on the prize. Like Mum said, fun, travel, adventure.” She left off the last one: find a gorgeous man. “There are plenty of men in London anyway.” She was telling herself as much as Shelby.

  * * *

  After breakfast, they went into the pharmacy to get some antihistamines for Shelby, who’d been sneezing a lot since they arrived. The pharmacist was an older man, who smiled at them with interest as they came in.

  “Morning, girls,” he called cheerily.

  “Good morning,” they both replied, accidentally doing their twin chorus again. Shelby frowned at Cady, but she ignored it.

  “Oh, my,” he said. “I love your accents. English, right?”

  “Yes,” Cady said. “We’re just visiting.”

  Realization dawned in his eyes. “Wait just a second. You’re Holt’s girls.”

  “Yes,” Shelby said.

  He came out from behind the counter and shook their hands in turn, shaking his head and clucking. “Oh, good heavens. Heavens above. I heard you were here, and I could hardly believe it. I’m Roger.”

  “Did you know about us?” Cady asked, taking his outstretched hand and receiving a shake that practically made her teeth rattle.

  “Well, no, no one did! That’s why I could hardly believe it. Why no one could. And your names, well, that was the kicker.”

  They looked at each other. Here was a possible source of info. Cady decided to try her luck.

  “Gosh, it must have been a real surprise,” she said. “You know, we’ve met Shelby’s namesake, Bee, but we haven’t met the other Cady yet.”

  “Oh.” He sucked air through his teeth. “That’s Mrs. Greenwood. Poor Cady Greenwood.” He shook his head, relishing the mournfulness. “Such a shame. All that drama, then when she finally found a husband, he up and left again before long. You know, she hardly leaves her house these days. Not that she was ever very…” He searched around for the right word. “Sociable.” His voice was low and he nodded conspiratorially, as though they knew just what he meant.

  Cady felt sure that if she lived here, she’d be filling any sensitive prescriptions in another town. However, his loose lips might be just what they needed.
>
  “That is a shame,” she said. “She must get out sometimes, though?”

  “Well, she does go to the library every day about this time,” he said. “I guess she lives in those books instead of in the real world. One book, every day. Bernice in the library told me they had to start requesting books from other branches for her.”

  “She needs a Kindle,” Shelby commented.

  His eyes widened. “Well, that’s just what I said. But, you know, I don’t think she’s very…savvy.”

  The girls nodded in pretend understanding, but Cady’s mind was racing. Every day about this time. They’d better move. She nudged Shelby, who jumped.

  “Ow! Oh, right. Could I please have some antihistamines? I’ve been sneezing such a lot since we got here.”

  “Oh, yes.” He swung into action, leading her to the counter as he talked. “The privet is flowering right now, terrible stuff, it might be that…”

  While he ran through the multitude of remedies, Cady peered out the window, half hoping to see someone going down the street with a book under her arm. Finally, Shelby came back with a brown paper bag.

  “I had no idea that would be so involved,” she whispered. “Benadryl, Clara-something, something-or-other else starting with ‘Z’. Seriously, T.M.I. Just give me the drugs.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Cady said. “Come on.” She hustled her sister out the door, remembering to wave and call out thanks as they left. Roger waved back enthusiastically, a happy helper in more ways than he knew.

  They’d already noticed the library on their drive into town, so Cady turned in that direction the moment they were out the door.

  “I suppose we’re going to the library then,” Shelby said redundantly.

  “You suppose right.” She kept walking.

  “You should have just asked him where she lives. He’d probably give us her blood type if we asked.”

  “Pharmacists don’t know people’s blood types,” Cady said, her sudden purpose making her persnickety. But she stored Shelby’s idea away. If they didn’t find her, maybe they could ask him where she lived. He might be happy to help just that little bit more.