The Near & Far Series

by Serena Clarke

“Well, it sure looked that way. It probably felt that way to the kid you tossed into the window, too.”

  “He was no kid.”

  He looked steadily at her, holding his ground. In the dusky light his eyes were dark, unreadable. She wanted to ask him more, but it was obviously pointless. She wanted to know a lot of things that he was wasn’t telling, more than just the details of that day. And then, as they continued to look at each other, she wanted something else. To lean across and kiss him, hard and deep and determined, and force him out from behind that maddeningly impenetrable veneer. Instead, she steered herself back to the most important thing.

  “Shelby, then?”

  He looked at his watch. “Yeah. A couple of minutes. You stay here and just…be ready. Are you okay driving this?”

  She snorted at the implication that she couldn’t handle the truck. “Uh, yes.” Then she picked up on the other implication—that she might be some kind of getaway driver.

  “Is it dangerous? Do you think she’s okay?” At this point she didn’t give a rats whether Kyle was okay. And if Shelby wasn’t, she’d be asking Reid to throw him through a window as well.

  “I’m sure she’s okay.”

  His tone sounded way too reassuring for Cady’s liking, but she had to believe him. The alternative was unthinkable.

  He opened the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

  Cady nodded, suddenly feeling sick with nerves. She had no idea what he was walking into, and whether he’d come back with Shelby, or with news she didn’t want to hear. Or whether he’d come back at all. He was halfway out the door, but she was seized with a sudden urge to pull him back in, just for a moment.

  “Reid…” Her voice was an urgent, uncertain whisper.

  He turned and slid back into the driver’s seat. In the glow of the interior light, she knew her face showed everything she was feeling inside, the fear and worry and confusion. And the wanting, oh that persistent wanting, sharpened now by the unknown and the high stakes. Holding her gaze, he reached out and put his hand on the side of her neck, his fingers threaded in her hair. The way he looked at her, she knew he could see it all, and she didn’t care. Right now, she wanted him to know that behind the teasing and flirting was something real. For her, anyway. He leaned closer, slowly, slowly, and she felt her lids grow heavy and her heart pound in her chest again. As his mouth met hers, her eyes closed, and the pent-up wanting of the past weeks surged through her body. In answer to some unspoken signal, their lips parted at the same time, and the first sensation of his tongue against hers set off a pulse of shock between her legs. With a small, urgent sound she pressed closer, wanting to feel more of him against her, frustrated by the arm rests between them. The answering intensity in his kiss sent her lust levels rising higher as she realized that he felt it too. Whether it was pure lust, or lust plus more, she hardly cared. Old Cady, new Cady…no version of herself would be insane enough to pass this up.

  Then a car drove past, the roar of its souped-up engine sending a harsh vibration through her already humming body, and reality barged back into her head. Oh, God. How could she be thinking about anything other than Shelby right now? What kind of terrible sister was she, actually? She broke away, forcing herself back to clarity and sending a silent, guilty apology to her sister, wherever she was.

  “Shelby,” she told him.

  He blinked, breathed out a long breath, ran his hand through his hair. She couldn’t help feeling gratified that he seemed as overtaken as she was. She quietly stored away the triumph, hoping it wouldn’t be short-lived.

  He nodded. “I’ll be back soon,” he repeated, his voice a little husky.

  Then he was gone.

  Thirty-Five

  The wait was torture. Cady sat in the driver’s seat, poised for action, feeling like an extra in a heist movie. She adjusted the seat and the mirrors, started up the engine, then turned it off again. There was only so much getting ready to be done. She waited, alternately thinking about the kiss and trying to put it out of her mind, preparing herself for whatever was coming.

  In the end, there was no dramatic scene, no racing away with squealing wheels, smashing through the parking barrier to escape. The two of them arrived back at the truck, walking quietly, and Cady jumped out to meet them.

  In place of her glittery, mouthy sister was a different person. Through all her antics with unsuitable boyfriends, family fights, and their mum’s death, she’d never appeared as devastated and hollow as this.

  Cady wanted desperately to ask what had happened, but all she could say to Shelby was variations on thank God you’re safe and everything will be okay now. She sincerely hoped the second one was true. She looked at Reid as they tucked Shelby’s subdued figure into the back seat and closed the door, anxious to know what had gone down. But he shook his head, signaling that questions weren’t a good idea.

  “I think maybe we’d better go back to Santa Almendra,” she said quietly. “Is that okay?”

  She’d formed a vague plan to take Shelby to Marian’s to regroup, rather than back up to Santa Almendra, then hit the road again. Her reasoning was that getting away from it all would be the best strategy. But it didn’t seem like Shelby was in any state to travel, for now.

  He nodded. “That’s where we were going. She can rest before she talks to the police.”

  Ah. She’d forgotten what Reid had obviously remembered all along—the police would have to be involved. She hoped Shelby would cope with it all.

  The drive back was agonizing. Shelby didn’t say a word, just leaned her head against the car window, looking out blankly. There were no tears, but every now and then she pressed a hand to her eyes, as though she was determined to shut everything away, or out.

  Faced with the reality of her sister’s trauma, Cady didn’t dwell on the kiss with Reid. And he was back in inscrutable mode…was that how short-lived the effects of their kiss would be? She sighed and concentrated on sending a text to Holt, asking if she could bring Shelby back. He replied straight away, saying of course yes, and wanting to know how Cady had found her. She looked at the screen, thinking.

  “Wait, though,” she whispered to Reid. “Didn’t you say that if you helped, I had to keep it between us? What will I tell the police? And Holt, and everyone?”

  He gave her a quick glance. “I’m not telling you to lie to anyone.”

  “What does that mean?” Bloody hell, what was she supposed to do? But he drove on, not saying anything more.

  “Oh, never mind.” She hesitated, then texted back.

  * * *

  Finally reached her on the phone this morning. In one piece but tired. Thanks again—be there soon.

  * * *

  Thank goodness for texting obfuscation. His reply came back, just telling them to drive carefully—but she was sure there’d be more questions to answer eventually.

  By the time they reached Santa Almendra, it was getting late. Reid took Cady’s suitcase while she helped Shelby out of the car and around to the house. Holt, Preston Bridges and Elva came out, the men looking grim.

  Elva came down the stairs and gathered Shelby in. “Oh, you poor girl. Come on, you’re safely home now.”

  Cady let her take over, knowing Elva wouldn’t be dissuaded anyway.

  “I’m so tired,” Shelby said in a small voice. At the same moment she wavered a little on her feet, and Elva put an arm more firmly around her waist.

  “You need to rest. Let’s get you upstairs. There are fresh sheets on the bed.”

  “I’ll be up in a minute,” Cady said, and Elva nodded. She watched them go, then turned to the men.

  “Who’s this?” Holt said, looking darkly at Reid.

  “Sorry,” Cady said. “I should have introduced you. This is Reid…” Well, how ridiculous. She had no idea what his last name was. She started again. “This is Reid, one of the Flashpointers. He took me to collect Shelby.”

  There was a round of handshakes then, as Holt and Preston introduced themselves
, but the mood was anything but convivial.

  “Collect her from where?” Preston asked, in full lawyer mode.

  Cady hesitated, just for a nanosecond. “Well, she was with Kyle all along,” she said, hoping she could carry off this casual not-quite-truth. Maybe it was better that she didn’t know what had gone down—you can’t lie about what you never knew.

  “Where were they?” Holt asked.

  “Um…” She looked at Reid. “I don’t know. Somewhere in the city.”

  “The Tenderloin,” Reid said.

  Holt and Preston looked at each other. They were obviously less than impressed, poised to ask a bunch more questions. Even a San Francisco newbie like Cady knew the Tenderloin was a less than desirable location.

  “I’m sorry, I really should go and be with Shelby,” she said, acutely aware of her sister’s distressed state. “Thank you so much for having us back again,” she added to Holt, who nodded.

  “The police will need to talk to her,” Preston said. “And to you.” He fixed Reid with a laser stare that made Cady nervous, but Reid seemed untroubled.

  “Yes, of course,” she said, jumping in hurriedly. “But for now Shelby needs some rest and care, and Reid needs to get back to his daughter.”

  The last thing she wanted was for him to go. Looking at him, the front seat kiss flooded her memory again, and she ached to know what he thought about it. And if he wanted to do it again. And again… But the longer he was here, the more questions would come his way. And right now, Shelby needed her more than Cady needed him.

  Reid nodded. “I’ll be in touch,” he said, shaking hands with the men. Then he looked at Cady. “Take care of your sister.”

  His eyes communicated more than those few simple words, and her heart leapt. She drank in the silent meaning that seemed to be in his gaze. “I will. Thank you so much again.”

  There were a hundred and one other things she wanted to say before he left, but under the eagle eyes of Holt and Preston, she played it cool. She wanted to fling herself at him, press her body hard against him to see if she could reignite the car park spark. Instead, she ended up performing an awkward, one-armed half hug, clumsily pressing her cheek against his in an almost air-kiss, and finishing with a pat on the shoulder. She cringed inside at the ungainly maneuver, but made herself follow through with a cheerfully forced, “Drive carefully.”

  Yeah, that pretty much guaranteed no spark—and it probably didn’t fool anyone either. She could feel the heat of a blush on her cheeks. Damn.

  Reid just smiled. “Okay. Take care.”

  She watched him go down the porch steps and crunch along the white pea gravel path with his easy gait. Despite what he’d said about being in touch, with all his secrecy she knew it might be the last she saw of him. And if this was maybe her last look, she was going to make it a good one. He disappeared round the corner without a backward glance, and she closed her eyes for a moment, imprinting the image of his broad shoulders and jeans-clad behind on the inside of her eyelids. Then she excused herself to Holt and Preston and went upstairs, wondering what the hell she didn’t know—and what she was never going to find out.

  Thirty-Six

  In the bedroom, she found Shelby sitting in a bedside chair while Elva fussed around, turning down the bed and closing the curtains. She dug in the little suitcase and gave Shelby the pajamas she’d bought with Bee only that morning. It seemed an age ago.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” Elva said quietly. “Just let me know if you need anything.” Her expression was full of sympathy, and Cady was grateful for her unquestioning, kind practicality.

  “Thank you,” she said, and Elva nodded as she closed the door behind her.

  Shelby got changed slowly, her arms and legs seeming almost too heavy to lift as she pulled on the pajamas. Once she was tucked in, Cady sat next to her on the bed. She had to ask.

  “Shel…what happened?”

  Shelby sighed and closed her eyes. “Not now.” She sounded exhausted.

  “Okay.” Whatever had happened, she’d find out soon enough—the main thing now was that Shelby was safe. But there’d come a time for questions, sooner rather than later.

  “Holt and Preston say the police have to be involved,” she added gently. “You’ll need to tell them everything.”

  “No!” Her eyes flew open and a little of the old Shelby fire flared in her expression. “And you’re not going to either.”

  Oh great, now she had two of them telling her she wasn’t allowed to talk. But she definitely wasn’t going to lie to the police on Kyle’s behalf, and neither should Shelby.

  “Why should you protect him now?” she exclaimed. “After what happened?”

  “Does there have to be a why?” Shelby echoed Reid’s words from earlier that day.

  Cady looked at her sister, drawn and ragged, the quilt pulled up tight under her chin. They both knew there was a why, but now wasn’t the time to push it. There was always a why, if you dug deep enough, even if your own was hidden under layers of justifications and excuses. She and Shelby were probably better at identifying each other’s whys than at finding their own.

  Shelby closed her eyes, just a breath away from falling asleep, and Cady sighed and straightened the bedding. In a moment, Shelby dropped off, finding the respite she obviously needed. Cady watched her for a couple of minutes, wondering what she’d been through. Thank God their mother wasn’t here to see where her secret had taken them.

  * * *

  Downstairs, Holt was waiting for her. He suggested coffee, and she gratefully accepted. She collapsed at the long kitchen table, relief and tiredness suddenly overtaking her. She felt like retreating to bed herself.

  “I seem to have magically disappearing and reappearing daughters,” Holt commented, as he deftly worked the espresso machine.

  Cady looked at his face, trying to tell if he was mad about it. They’d definitely brought a bit of drama into his life. Or back into it.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I think we’ve taken your hospitality for granted.”

  But he laughed and shook his head. “Isn’t that what children are supposed to do? I’m just glad you’re both here safely.”

  He put the coffee on the table in front of her, and she thanked him. “Has Preston gone?”

  “He had to get back to his San Francisco office. He’ll be back when we need him.”

  “Okay.” She sipped the hot coffee, sincerely hoping they wouldn’t need him. Not that he wasn’t very nice, behind the lawyerly exterior. But the last thing she wanted was the kind of difficulty that required legal advice.

  The next few days were quiet. Shelby stayed in bed, only getting up to eat or use the bathroom. It was shocking to Cady, to see her usually defiant, gutsy sister so withdrawn. She certainly didn’t have the heart to administer that kick-in-the-pants wake-up call—Shelby’s experience had already done that. What’s more, she seemed to be continuing the job herself. One afternoon, Cady sat with her in the bedroom, reading a book from Holt’s library and watching her drift in and out of sleep. She suddenly rolled over onto her back, and sighed loudly.

  “I’ve always had piss-poor judgment, and look where it got me.” She flung her arm over her forehead and scrunched up her face.

  Cady put down her book. “No, you haven’t.” She paused. “I mean, some of the men were maybe not the greatest, but…”

  “Karma, right? All the running around I did, all the men. You think I deserve it.”

  Cady was offended at this accusation. “I do not think you deserve it! That’s not true at all.”

  Shelby made a sort of pfft noise, and Cady stopped to consider it. It wasn’t true, was it? She’d honestly had no idea, until she met Reid, how much a man could get under your skin, fuddle your brain, and turn you on. Jeremy had never come close, and before that other guys had come and gone, while she focused on things at home. Whereas Shelby was free as a bird, and willing to throw herself into anything new, leave herself open to all t
he experiences and sensations she craved. Cady had quietly craved them too, but never had the chance or the courage to pursue it or let it happen. And now she knew what craving really was.

  Truthfully? Maybe a tiny, envious part of her had sometimes felt that Shelby’s fun would come back to bite her on the arse. Ass. Aaass… She sighed, thinking of that last view of Reid as he walked out of her life. That man was walking around with a fine example of that body part, however you pronounced it.

  Now Shelby brought her other arm up, covering her face. “I brought it on myself. I know that.”

  “No. You didn’t. And I’m sorry if I’ve been judgmental. You’re braver than me.”

  Shelby looked at her now. “Except you didn’t avoid everything, like I did. I didn’t want to deal with the truth.”

  Cady knew she was referring to their mother’s battle with Wodarski-Ebner. She hesitated. “Why did you get tested then?”

  “I don’t know. To piss you off, probably, and prove that I was different from Mum. She couldn’t tell me what to do, and her illness wasn’t going to either. I never thought…” Her voice faded, and a few tears crept out, finally breaking through her resistance.

  “I’m sorry, Shel. You should have told me. We’re in this together, you know.”

  She rubbed her eyes. “As soon as I knew, I wished to God I didn’t. You didn’t need to know, when you were in the thick of dealing with Mum.”

  “Well, I didn’t avoid that, but I’ve avoided the big question. And if you tested positive, I probably will too.”

  “It’s not a certain thing.”

  “But likely, right?”

  “Well…maybe.”

  There was silence as they each thought about this. Cady knew she should front up and have the test, and face the truth. They were constantly discovering new treatments for all kinds of illnesses—maybe they’d come up with some new thing to help. She told herself this in a soothing kind of inner voice, while completely not believing it.