The Wickedest Showman

by Lotta Smith

  “Oh my—watch out, Rob,” I gasped. The broken blade flew straight at his face.

  “Run, Rob, run!” Jackie was screaming her heart out.

  But the blade was fast, and Rob didn’t have time to dodge it.

  The actors on stage froze, but miraculously the tip of the sword stopped moving just a few inches away from Rob’s nose. The audience buzzed with excitement, and a male voice shouted, “Hey, how did you do that?”

  No one answered—mostly because explaining a flying blade with no apparent reason or understandable mechanism must have been hard.

  Under normal circumstances, gravity would have prompted the blade to drop to the stage, but no part of the situation was normal. The blade stayed there, floating in the air. When everyone held their breath and Rob’s jaw dropped, the tip of the broken blade started to move slowly.

  Technically, I could see the person working behind the weirdly magical scene, but I knew I was a minority in the theater, and I was positively panicking.

  “Russel,” I whispered, uneasy. The baby was kicking my bladder nonstop, and I couldn’t stop the urge to pee. The ghost of the deceased actor was holding his ex-lover’s current lover at knifepoint.

  When I saw him the day before, he looked harmless. But considering he was holding a sharp blade in front of his romantic rival’s throat, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to assume he was going to kill Rob. Ghosts in general couldn’t touch or move objects, but he was tightly holding the blade. Whatever kind of energy drove him, it must have been strong.

  “Russel, please don’t!” Jackie warned the fellow ghost. “Whatever you’re planning, murder is never a good idea. First of all, that’s bad for your karma, and you don’t want to see Karina saddened, do you?”

  “No need to worry.” Smiling graciously, the ghost of Russel Sassoon turned and threw the broken blade at the curtain.

  With his eyes wide open and mouth agape, Rob leaned back. The moment the blade flew in the opposite direction, he slipped off the chair. If it was a normal stage, his reaction could have been regarded as comical, or a career-ending screwup that totally ruined the whole play. Fortunately for Rob, no one in the audience booed or called names.

  “Oh,” I gasped, half relieved that the knife wasn’t thrown at us or any other person on stage. But another part of me was confused. If all Russel did was stop the blade from stabbing Rob and drop it to the floor, that would mean he was just being helpful. But… the blade hit the curtain pretty hard. It was now on the opposite side of the stage from where we were, but it sounded as if the sword tip had hit something meaty.

  As I exchanged glances with Jackie, a sharp shriek came from behind the curtain. “Yow!”

  “What?” Rick stood up to take a better look.

  Mr. McMillan wandered out from behind the curtain, groaning and muttering, “Help… help….”

  The audience roared with laughter at first. Maybe they took this as a tactic used in experimental plays. To be honest, the way the arrogant Mr. McMillan waddled out onto the stage while clutching his big belly looked slightly comical. Except droplets of blood were oozing out between his fingers.

  “Oh my God!” Jackie exclaimed. “How long was he hiding there? I didn’t notice him!”

  Russel stepped out to center stage and talked to the audience. “Ladies and gentlemen, meet Mr. McMillan, who’s been tampering with the show’s equipment and props in an attempt to hurt the talented Robert Hall, playing Horatio.”

  “Seriously?” Jackie and I said in unison.

  “What are you talking about?” Rick nudged me. “Tell.”

  “Russel says Mr. McMillan has been tampering with the stage equipment and props in an attempt to hurt Rob. Karina said she’d just broken up with Mr. McMillan yesterday, but he must have known that she was really in love with Rob and he was gonna be dumped,” I whispered.

  “Oh, I see.” Rick wiggled his fingers knowingly. “Talk about the green-eyed monster named jealousy.”

  “Right.” I nodded while Mr. McMillan collapsed on stage, groaning noisily.

  Despite the fact that I was most likely to be the only living human who could hear Russel’s voice, he was busy addressing the whole theater. “Perhaps you’re wondering about how the tip of the prop sword ended up breaking like candy. That’s because McMillan bribed the guy playing Laertes and had him use the sword McMillan had specifically tailored to kill Robert.”

  “Wow, that’s harsh.” My eyes widened, and I relayed his words to Rick.

  “I know!” Russel turned back to me. Giving groaning McMillan a hard glare, he spat, “The wound isn’t that bad. You can leave him here.”

  “He’s so right. That SOB sooo deserves it!” Jackie crossed her arms.

  I looked at Rick. “Both Russel and Jackie say we can leave Mr. McMillan bleeding there. According to Russel, the wound isn’t that bad.”

  “Still, having him ruin the show won’t be good.” He grimaced. The audience seemed to have noticed that something wasn’t right, and they were buzzing. “Hey, you may want to call an ambulance,” Rick told Suze.

  “Sure!” she said, picking up her phone.

  The actors on stage looked dazed and confused, and the ghost of Russel was wholeheartedly encouraging them. “Hey, y’all! Why don’t you go back to acting? In case you don’t remember, we’ve still got our paying audience, and I doubt any of you want them to go home disappointed. As the old saying goes, the show must go on!”

  Of course, they couldn’t hear Russel, so I spoke up. “Hello? The show must go on!”

  The actors didn’t know me well, but they went back to acting as if they heard Russel shouting at them. “You can leave him to bleed. After all, none of you are medical professionals, but you can never abandon your audience without acting your heart out! That’s why they’re here and you’re here. Go back to acting! Act your ass off!”

  The play resumed with the final act that had been interrupted in the middle.

  “And the rest is… silence….”

  With the famous final phrase, Hamlet died, and the theater shook with never-ending applause. The audience was so excited that even when the paramedics arrived and rolled McMillan out of the theater on a gurney, no one seemed to care.

  “Mandy, Rick, thank you so much for everything!” Karina rushed to our side as soon as the play had ended. “I’m not sure if I would have been able to survive without you two.”

  “Okay, so I’m invisible to her.” Jackie pouted as if she wasn’t always invisible to most people.

  “Don’t worry, Jackie. Karina appreciates your help,” I said, looking at the actress with pleading eyes. “It’s just that she regards you as someone who’s almost like a colleague. That’s why she thanked Rick and me, because we’re outsiders to her, and you’re in her inner circle. Right, Karina?”

  “Exactly!” Karina nodded furiously. “I’m so sorry, Jackie! Of course you’ve been a great help for us all. I’m serious.”

  “Okay then.” Jackie nodded contentedly. “I guess I was slightly overreacting.”

  “Right. Now we all know you’re highly appreciated,” I said, discreetly letting out a sigh of relief.

  “According to Mandy, Mr. McMillan was the one behind the foul play that has been pestering Magic Lane Theater in the past weeks,” Rick informed Karina.

  “Karina, you should have seen Russel grab the blade!” Jackie chimed in.

  “And Russel grabbed the flying blade to save Rob,” I said.

  “Oh my.” Karina clutched her chest. “I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t good. I had to brace myself to see Rob’s face ruined.” Karina shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears.

  “Maybe Mr. McMillan knew about your feelings toward Rob without your telling,” I said. “Maybe he was deeply in love with you, albeit in a twisted way.”

  “I agree with my wife.” Rick wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “It was a crime of passion on his part. If you’re considering suing him, I can arran
ge forensic science experts to collect evidence.”

  “I’ll think about it. It depends on if he’ll be suing us for his injury.” Karina massaged her temple. “I’m so over romance!”

  “So, Rob’s gonna be your last guy,” I said, a little tempted to tease her.

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged.

  “Hey, look at that.” Rick pointed at the stage.

  It was snowing. Unlike the last time, it wasn’t a massive amount of snow falling in one shot. It looked real.

  Jackie flew over to the center stage and then came back with the speed of light. “It’s not fake snow! Can you believe that?”

  “Wow.” Karina’s eyebrows twitched. “The director’s going to be so mad.”

  The snow was now flying all over the stage, and then it started to snow backstage. I could even see the audience’s section slowly turning white.

  The audience started to buzz again, mutterings things like, “It’s real snow,” and “How do they do it?”

  Cold air filled the whole theater.

  “Hey, Russel!” Jackie waved at the ceiling, and I looked in that direction.

  The ghost of Russel Sassoon was all smiles. When he noticed Jackie and me, he waved and then flew higher, the ceiling opening for a brief moment.

  “I didn’t know this theater’s roof was capable of opening and closing,” I said.

  Karina tilted her head and muttered, “An opening roof? What are you talking about?”

  “I saw Russel going up and out of the roof, and—” I was explaining his grand departure when suddenly I stopped talking. Even though I meant to continue with my speech, the next words that popped out of my lips weren’t something I’d expected. “Russel left this snow as a message for you, to tell you that all is forgiven. Also, he wants to say goodbye to you.”

  “I know,” Karina muttered. “I know.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  The curtain came down quietly, and the snow stopped.

  After a long silence that seemed to last forever, the entire place shook with a wave of applause.

  Timothy Beck ambled backstage, sneezed, and muttered, “Hell, it’s cold.”

  EPILOGUE

  After the show and all the fuss were over, Rick, Jackie, and I remained in the theater. Rob asked us to stay, and we agreed.

  We were hanging around on the stage, looking over at the audience’s seats.

  “Hey Mandy, Rick.” Rob came over to us. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

  “It’s okay.” I shook my head. “I just realized it feels great to stand on stage and look down at the audience.”

  “Are you thinking about venturing into the world of acting?” Rick touched my arm. His tone was lighthearted, but I caught a slight nervousness in him.

  “No way,” I said, pulling him close to me. “My hands are tied with building a family and working as a special agent with USCAB.” I gently patted his back.

  “What a relief.” He smiled and kissed me.

  Jackie pulled a feather fan out of nowhere and began fanning herself. “Ooh, love is in the air!”

  Rob cleared his throat. “I just wanted to tell you that the snow during tonight’s show woke me up.”

  I didn’t quite grasp what he was saying, so I looked at Rick. “What do you mean?” he asked.

  “I’ve broken up with Karina. While standing in the snow, all I could picture in our future was us constantly fighting and hurting each other.” Rob shook his head.

  “What did Karina say?” I asked.

  “She agreed to cancel the engagement, saying it’ll be far better to stay colleagues rather than forcing us into a dysfunctional family.” Rob chuckled a little.

  “I see.” I nodded, wondering what to do if she wanted a refund—especially if she demanded our almost-finished nursery to be turned back to just a simple room.

  “All she asked from me was that I play the part of Hamlet when we’re in Los Angeles next month.” Rob let out a sigh.

  “That’s great!” Jackie hooted.

  “Congrats!” Rick said.

  “Thanks.” Rob nodded, but he didn’t look happy. “I don’t know. I’m more inclined to continue brushing up my Horatio. Karina will be playing the queen, and the Ophelia role will go to Suze.”

  “Perhaps that’s for the best,” I said.

  “I hope so.” Rob offered a small smile.

  Running footsteps echoed, and Suze literally jumped onto the stage. “Hi!” She waved, then came running toward us—or rather, to Rob. “Hey Robert, can you believe it? I’ve just got the biggest role of my career! I’m playing Ophelia! Oh my God!”

  “Congratulations!” Rob clapped. “But I’m warning you, that’s not an easy role.”

  “I know, I know!” Suze jumped up and down. She was like a living version of Jackie. “Are you busy? If you have some time, can we practice the lines?”

  “Now?” Rob said, sounding a little puzzled.

  “Yes! I mean, if you’re not too busy.” Suze looked at him expectantly. She was full of happy energy, and according to Jackie, her heart was literally bouncing.

  “Okay,” Rob agreed with a smile before turning to us. “Thanks, and good night.”

  “Good night.” We waved back, and I thought I caught Russel’s voice saying something like, “Ooh, love is in the air!”

  * * *

  “Oh my goodness… Mandy, this is absolutely fantastic!” Mom sighed longingly, looking at the newly refurbished and completed nursery.

  “You’re right, Martha. This is fabulous,” Nana agreed and winked at me.

  “So true. The entire room is beyond fabulous,” Alicia chimed in.

  “Mommy, can we have my room remodeled like this?” Minty asked, pulling Alicia’s arm.

  “Well….” She tilted her head thoughtfully while quickly scanning the room.

  “Sounds great!” Emma agreed with her younger sister. “Mommy, can we hire Alexa and have our rooms turned into princess castles?”

  “I’d love to, but….” Alicia looked at me, slightly raising an eyebrow like she was unsure about making promises out of impulse.

  “Actually, Alexa happens to be super busy, and she’s booked for the next three years,” I said to my nieces. “Emma, Minty, can you ladies imagine such a long time from now? I know three years sounds like forever at your ages, but maybe you want something different for your rooms when you’re older by three years.”

  “Oh no. I wish she wasn’t so busy!” Emma pouted, then sighed. “Okay, Auntie Mandy.” She crossed her arms and muttered, “But I still want to be a princess.”

  “When I’m three years older, I think I want something goth,” Minty said.

  “Ooh, are you sure? Isn’t that… unique?” Mom cooed, and Alicia mouthed, “Thank you,” to me.

  “We can always come here for sleepovers,” Emma concluded.

  “You know, Mandy,” Nana said, “I’m seriously tempted to reincarnate as your baby. If I get to have a nursery like this and a brand new young body, reincarnation is worth it. I should have crashed with you guys here instead of going on a cruise trip. Guess what? The whole idea of cruise trips is overrated. You get to spend a whole week stuck in a kennel called a cabin. The food might have been good if it wasn’t tainted with germs, and the fellow travelers are best described as half-dead and half-undead. And if I recall it right, some of them actually almost died.”

  “Oh my God, Leonora! I’m so glad you made it home in one piece!” Jackie said enthusiastically, floating by her.

  “Jackie is happy to see you back, Nana,” I relayed my guardian angel’s words. “Of course, I’m delighted to see you too.”

  “Hi there, Granna!” Jackie waved at Nana.

  “Why are you waving at her and calling her Granna?” I asked.

  “Because Leonora can’t see the baby waving at her, so I’m waving on behalf of her,” she replied nonchalantly.

  “If I may say, Nana can’t see you waving ei
ther,” I pointed out.

  “Oops, sometimes I happen to forget that I’m invisible.” Shaking her head, she looked at me expectantly. “Then again, you always help me communicate with the living.”

  “Nana, Jackie is waving at you on behalf of the baby,” I said.

  “Thank you, Jackie! You’re such a doll.” Nana beamed.

  Following the compliment, my ghostly friend puffed up her chest proudly and said, “Mandy, did you hear that? You want to ask her to say that again and record her words?”

  “Don’t worry. Nana will be happy to call you a doll again. Right, Nana?” I said.

  “Sure.” She gave me a thumbs-up.

  A week had passed since we’d finished with the Magic Lane Theater case. Nana came back from the traumatic cruise trip involving an E. coli outbreak on the ship. She was savvy enough to avoid getting infected by confining herself to her cabin as soon as she caught the news of the outbreak. She was carrying enough Cup of Noodles to survive on board just in case, and as a result, she came back as one of very few unscathed travelers.

  “What will happen if Granna becomes Auntie Mandy and Uncle Rick’s baby?” Minty asked thoughtfully.

  “In that case, Granna’s gonna be our baby cousin,” Emma answered.

  “Ah, okay. I knew that.” Minty nodded.

  “No you didn’t.”

  “Did too.”

  “Ooh, having a sister is so fun!” Jackie exclaimed.

  “Ladies, be nice to each other,” Alicia said in her commanding mom voice. “Also, the body of the baby in Mandy’s belly is already occupied by her own personality, and Granna will be Granna.”

  “She’s right,” Mom agreed.

  “I’ll stick around with you ladies. I was just kidding about reincarnation.” Nana glanced at the mural art of white orchids on the lavender wall. “Well, not entirely kidding, I guess. I’d really love to spend my babyhood in a nursery like this. Oh, don’t forget about the hot daddy coming with this room.” She swooned.

  “Ladies, why don’t we go back to the living room and have some macaroons?” Mom said, totally in charge.

  “Yay!” Emma and Minty shrieked happily, and the baby kicked me.

  “Mandy, is it true that you worked for Karina Coleman and came across Alexa on the way?” Alicia asked me.