by Tara Brown
The shit-eating grin crossing his lips was too much. “What’s that on your boot?”
“Puke.” I shuddered. “I threw up during a CrossFit session this morning.”
“Gross.” He laughed and his blue eyes sparkled. “I mean, I sort of assumed you’d throw up at least once the first week. But it’s week three, Evie. Come on. You can’t be throwing up week three.” He sat on the bed and rubbed my calf. “You're making the rest of us look bad to the newbies.”
“Fuck off and die. Seriously, go away.”
“Do you want me to leave or do you want the good news?” He patronized me.
“Screw you, Coop.”
“Love to.” He laughed. “But we can’t. We only have about seven minutes before the nurse gets back.”
I grinned through the nausea. “That’s probably plenty of time for you. You’re what—sixteen?”
His hand slipped up my thigh. “I already told you, I got your stamina for you.”
“No, you don't.” My laugh was killed off by a burp and I shuddered from the taste.
He squeezed my leg. “I went and saw the kids yesterday.”
My head shot up. “Mine?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, the orphans I volunteer with every week. ‘Course your kids. Jesus.”
“You did?” A smile broke across my lips, nausea be damned. “How were they?” My insides melted.
“Healthy, happy, strong, safe, but missing you. Your mom looks good. She rocks the hot older lady too, huh?” He winked.
“Shut it!” I swung my puke-covered boot at him. “I’m not old.”
He laughed again. “Tell that to your aching back.”
“Oh my God. I’m never gonna be allowed to leave here. I’m never gonna see my kids. I hate this.” I wanted to cry.
He climbed up the bed until he was lying beside me and staring at the stark white ceiling. It was weird and then it wasn't. He'd checked on my kids and saved my life. Maybe it wasn't weird at all.
He snuggled in closer, still very platonic. “When I was in basic, I heard about a girl who ran the course faster than the boys in her troop. One guy tried to sabotage her and wrecked a rope in the climbs. She fell and broke her wrist and still ran it faster than the boys. You don’t remember what her name was, do you? I mean, she was famous for it.”
“It’s always so funny.” I snuggled into the warmth and shuddered. “The moments I hate you and want to stab you in the eye are the moments you always redeem yourself.”
“I know.” He put his arm out and wrapped it around me. “I’m a master at getting girls to love me.” He tilted his head and stared down at me. “But seriously, Evie, you gotta be strong and get past this. Remember what it was like to be fearless.”
“Easy to say at fifteen. Common sense is the wisdom you get as you age. One day, sonny, you’ll be wise like me, and you’ll know jumping from a pole you climbed to a rope and swinging to a platform is reckless. It’s something I’d tell my kids not to do.”
His body shook as he chuckled at me. “Trust yourself. You could’ve made the jump up that fence the other day. You coulda done it, but you didn’t trust your body.”
“What?” I looked up into his steely blue eyes. He was watching my training? I cleared my throat. “I don't know what the commander expected of me with just three weeks but I don't feel stronger. I’m dying.”
He stroked my head. “Yeah, I think he was hoping for more. You ran a lot but the serious lack of strength training and combat fighting has done you in. Not exactly what the military recommends for its agents.”
“Yeah, whatever. Combat training isn't exactly part of the PT, though it should be," I grumbled, not in his expression had changed to dark and moody. “What?”
He swallowed. “So that list—”
“The list?” I asked as it came back to me. “The one Roxy gave Servario on the plane?”
“Yeah. We know some people on it.”
“We do?” I gulped.
He was clearly uncomfortable as he spoke, “Rather, you know someone on it.” His eyes were filled with something—Jesus, was it sympathy? He felt sad for me? Was it my mom?
“Fitz is on it.”
My stomach curdled as I pulled back. “That isn’t even funny.”
“I’m being completely serious. Fitz is on the list. His real name. He's working with them—James and the bad guys.”
“What are we going to do? We can’t kill Fitz. He saved you.” My heart was beating a mile a minute. "He would never betray me. If you can trust anyone, it’s him. Most trustworthy human being I've ever met. My dad trusted Fitz more than anyone, more than he did my mother. When my father fake died, my mother didn’t have power of attorney. Fitz did.”
He put a hand up. “Shhhh. Let me talk. Jesus. You’re worse than my mom.”
"Don’t shush me.” I growled, “That mom comment is going in the bank with the cougar comment, for later. You know, for when some bad guy has you chained to a wall and he’s about to break both your legs? You’ll give me a look like ‘save me, Evie.’ And there will be an angel on my shoulder with a cheetah-print dress on, and she’s gonna be smoking and chanting ‘mommy cougar’ over and over.”
He pursed his lips. “Pshhh, how's training, Evie? You manage to do one pull-up yet? I don’t see you getting the chance to save me.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Anyway, I meant Fitz is probably up to something. He didn’t appear to me at all retired. That jet seemed like it was his. Now he’s dead?” He put up the air quotations he’d once done for my maternity leave. “But we all know he’s not dead. The plane crash is a lame, old-school cover-up. Servario vanishing from the ME’s office is the same. Your dad being shot in Mexico is the only one that seemed legit. The rest, I’m not buying.”
I held out a sickening amount of hope my dad’s was a frame-up too.
Coop smiled but the authenticity wasn’t there. “This is the same, but I wanted to warn you. I didn’t want you to see the list and then freak out.”
“I don’t overreact.”
“Right.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re a chick.”
I slapped at him again but he caught my hand.
“Don't hit unless you want me to hit back." He licked his lips. “But I get to choose the spot I hit.”
My stomach dropped. The flirting was reaching a whole new level. The kind of level that made me want to take him seriously. “Whatever. I need to go back and rejoin my troop.” I pushed away from him but he pulled me in closer.
His hands spanned my whole back. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about.” His eyes told me that something else was Servario.
“I don’t want to talk about him again.”
“I need to.” He cocked an eyebrow. “He contacted you.”
“What?” I frowned. “How do you know that?”
Coop's lips fought the good fight but the grin won over, spreading across his face. “I had to make sure you were safe.”
“Did you put surveillance equipment in my bathroom again?” My face flushed, thinking about the things I did in there I definitely didn’t want recorded. I was about to rage on him, but that would’ve meant bringing up the fact he’d seen me doing my morning ablutions.
He laughed. “No. Not since I caught Steve in the act of entering your bedroom with shoes and lipstick.”
I hated that it wasn’t Servario who’d come to my house. It wasn’t his handwriting I had swooned over. It was Steve's? I moved past it, refocusing on Coop seeing me get the dildo in the box at Luce's. My eyes narrowed. “Stop spying on me. You’re a little bastard.”
“No.” His eyes matched mine. “Nothing little about me, Evie.” He got up from the bed and strode from the infirmary. “See ya in a couple of days.”
“Whatever.” I watched him leave.
He stopped just short of the main door, turning back and catching me watching his firm ass walk away. “Nice.”
“What?”
&n
bsp; “Don't what me.” He laughed. “You were looking at my ass.”
“Pshhh.” I crossed my arms. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
He pointed. “I’m still senior officer, Evie. It’s don’t flatter yourself, sir.”
“Don't flatter yourself.” I laughed. “Sir.”
“Report to the address I texted you. The car will pick you up there for transport.”
“I don’t have a phone.”
“Really?” He smirked and walked out. “Check your kit bag and don’t be late.”
“I hate you,” I murmured and left the room too, heading back to be with my troop.
A young guy in an officer’s uniform gave me a grin as I returned to my troop, back to the torture.
The master chief was screaming at the group of them. I stood to the side, praying he didn’t look at me.
When he did, he shouted, “What’s your deal, Marshall?” I jumped when I realized my name was Angela Marshall and he was yelling at me. “Get your ass in that lineup, girl. You think you’re better than anyone else? Well, everyone, Marshall just earned you all twenty push-ups, twenty mountain climbers, and twenty burpees. Thank you, Marshall.” I hated the last name they gave me.
Everyone screamed, “THANK YOU, MARSHALL!”
I jumped and ran to my spot and dropped and pumped them out. I had nothing left, but I remembered that day I beat every guy in the troop. I remembered the pain in my wrist as it snapped. But I finished, climbing the rope with one hand and my legs, knowing my wrist was broken.
I finished and stood at attention. Master chief winked at me and turned and left, passing the control to the officer in charge. Only the master chief knew who I really was. The new officer led us through the marching square to the trail where we ran wind sprints for five miles with twenty burpees at every mile.
It was grueling and I was near death by the time we were excused.
I hit the showers with the other four females. They were young and fit navy women and all in the type of shape I could vaguely recall being.
I finished showering after them. They came in a group and left in a group. They never asked me to do anything. They never really welcomed me in. I didn’t get it. Had a senior citizen joined our ranks, we would’ve welcomed them. Wouldn’t we? Maybe not.
I argued with myself and headed for the mess.
“Hey, Evie, is it true you’re going back to CI? I saw Coop here.” Master Chief was calling me over as I crossed the square.
“Hello again, Master Chief. Angela, sir, not Evie. And no. I’ll be coming back but not as a spy or SEAL or anything glamorous. I’ll probably go contract though. This is simply a refresher.”
“Under an assumed identity?"
"Yeah. Gotta keep the kids safe. No one is supposed to know me."
"I’m the only one who recognizes you. Everyone else has retired or moved on, and your files came in as a Canadian training with our SQT trainees. Come sit and we can catch up.” He walked with me to the mess.
“What?” I stopped. “Oh—uhm—that’s okay thanks, Master Chief.”
He laughed. “It’s Pete, Evie, jeeze. Mellow out.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “I was sorry to hear about your dad. I never realized he’d been deep cover all these years.” His voice was barely audible as we entered the noisy mess.
“You and me both.”
He gave me a sideways glance. “And of course sorry to hear about James.”
“Yeah.” I chuckled. “You and me both.”
He laughed, steering me to the table.
“You know I look like your troop ho, right?”
He grinned. “That was my plan. I can’t wait for everyone to assume I banged the infamous Evie Anderson.”
“Yeah, nothing quite like a mid-thirties mother of two and widow to get the boys all cheering you on.”
He pulled out a chair for me. “Hey, you’re on the market again.”
“Right.” I pointed at his finger. “But you’re not.”
“Sheila says hello, by the way.”
“Say hello to her too.” I laughed, knowing his wife was the true goddess of his universe. I also knew his affections for me since I'd arrived kept me out of reach of everyone else. The big-brother protection act made my heart warm.
He sat next to me. The rookies of the troop gave me sneers and gossiped about me.
Pete leaned in. “What’s the real story, Evie?”
“What do you mean?” I questioned. “No real story here, sir. And it’s Angela.”
He scoffed. “Fine, keep your secrets. But I do think it’s weird that a retired agent gets a new name, rejoins basic for three weeks, and I’m not allowed to talk about the fact I know you.”
My eyes sparkled. “It is weird. Can I just say James left me quite the pile of shit to clean up and leave it at that?”
“That figures.” His eyes hardened. “He always was a piece of shit. Your dad hated him. That should’ve been enough for you to know not to marry him.”
“I know.” I exhaled deeply. “How are the kids?”
“Divas.” He nodded. “Savages. Older and sassy. You know how it is. Twelve and ten this year. God help me.”
I laughed. “Yeah and both daughters—ouch.”
He speared his broccoli. “Yup. So you outta here before tomorrow then, for real?”
“Apparently.” My stomach cramped a bit with nerves.
“Wherever you end up, this number is secure and will bring the thunder down on whatever you’re fighting.” He slipped me a white card with a nine-digit number. I pocketed it. “Thanks, sir.”
“No prob, Angela.”
4
Smallville
The car couldn’t drive fast enough. My insides were in a knot. When the helicopter came into view over the empty field, I was even more excited. The idea that my children were in there had me dancing inside. My arms needed to hold them and check every inch of them for injuries I hadn’t had the chance to kiss. Happy tears hid in my throat as we got near. I jumped out and tried to run for the helicopter but it was more like watching Quasimodo run. My body was bruised and battered.
Inside the helicopter was a face I didn’t expect. It wasn’t my mother or my children, but Jack.
He raised an eyebrow. “About time, Evie. Jeesh. You took forever.”
All the joy that had been building vanished. “Where are they, Jack?”
“Good to see you too.” His face dropped. “They’re safe. They’re picking out their bedrooms. It’s okay. They’re waiting for us. Get in.”
Growling, I limped and pulled my exhausted body into the helicopter. He put a hand on my thigh, close to the knee, as I strapped myself in. “It’s going to be okay.”
It was weird for us both. He was always the detached and funny one, not the comforting one, and he never touched me, ever.
Unsure about it all, I forced a smile. “It just feels too long. Too much. I can't do it anymore. I need a house and my kids and routine. It’s been weeks without them.”
“I know. I would’ve seen it as a vacation, but whatever.” He clearly had no idea of what I was talking about. He, Luce, and Coop lived the life of an agent. They didn’t do comfort and cozy or kids. They were still kids, all of them.
The pilot lifted the chopper into the air and took off. The ride was intense. I was on edge, feeling as though I was constantly chasing my kids and never actually reaching them.
The worst part was we were no closer to finding a solution for protecting the Burrow, yet it was giving CI something to make them stop looking. It was a giant pile of crap, all placed at my feet, and it kept getting bigger.
After a short flight we landed at a deserted airfield. I followed Jack off the helicopter and across the field to the small plane waiting for us. I climbed aboard to discover we were the only people there. The helicopter left us as Jack walked to the pilot seat and strapped himself in. “You can fly this?”
“You can’t?” he said with a sarcastic tone.
“No. I don't remember everything.” I narrowed my gaze, ready to throat punch him. “Why aren’t we there yet?” I asked, ignoring the twitch in my right eye as he started the plane. My hands gripped the seats as he took off, turning us to the right and flying low to the ground.
The plane barely made it over some high treetops. “Are—are you going to fly higher?” I couldn't take my eyes off the ground so close to us. Perhaps we would live through the crash if we were flying so low.
“It’s better to stay lower.” He chuckled and grinned like a kid playing a video game. “Besides, seeing you so tense is a bit awesome.” He flew us around mountains, over fields, and past rivers until suddenly he landed in another field. I clung to my seat for dear life as he stopped the plane, still grinning. He unbuckled and dashed to the back. “Hurry, Evie.”
We left through the hatch, me following him in complete confusion.
When we were across the field, crunching our feet along the dry grass, he pulled something from his pocket and pressed the button. I dove to the ground as an explosion filled the air. He laughed. “Sorry, should have warned you.”
I peered up from the dirt and grass with daggers shooting from my eyes. “I am going to kill you, not now ‘cause I’m tired but it’s going to happen.”
He smiled sweetly. “Okay, Evie.” He continued walking. I got up and followed him into the woods. We hiked until we reached a random spot where he stopped and gazed around for a second appearing lost. And then a lightbulb must’ve come on because he smiled and turned. He trudged through a small grove of trees to a street. There, on the side of the road, was a minivan with Luce at the wheel. My heart leapt seeing her. Not only was she easier to be around than Jack, but she meant I was close to seeing my kids. I nudged Jack. “How hard was it to tell me this was what we were doing? You’ve had me peeing my pants these last couple of hours.”
Jack explained, “Plane might have been bugged and the helicopter definitely was. Never know.” He gave me his patronizing smile. “You have serious trust issues, you know that? I knew what we were doing, Evie. I’ve got this.”